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Ranking 7 Random Celebrity Fragrance Commercials

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (12)



eva-mendes-secret-obsession-.jpg

Never in my life have I said to my wife, “It’d be really great if you smelled more like Penelope Cruz,” in part because I don’t know what Penelope Cruz smells like, and in part because I value my testicles. But apparently, celebrities — and in some cases, high-profile directors — are the idea pitch-people for fragrances. I don’t get it, but then again, I’m not the market. I’m not sure who that market is. Has anyone here ever bought a celebrity fragrance? And did you go home and say to your significant other, “Ravish me! I smell like Eva Mendes?”

Below I have ranked seven random celebrity fragrance commercials based on, well, my brain says style, but my tingly nethers say raciness.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom — Unbreakable

Awesome. You can smell like a locker room and the sister of a manufactured celebrity at the same time. And it’s unisex.

Christina Aguilera — Royal Desire

The tagline says, “Feel like a queen,” but the commercial says, “On sale at Target.”

Natalie Portman — Miss Dior Cherie

This one is directed by Sofia Coppola, and at least the product is frequently in the frame, although there’s not a lot to be said for nuzzling a perfume bottle.

Keira Knightley — Chanel Coco Mademoiselle

Director Joe Wright knows how to sell a fragrance. She pouts. She wears zip-up pants. She rides a motorcycle. She must smell delicious, right?

Charlize Theron — Dior J’Adore Perfume

The woman knows how to take off a pair of earrings. And you have to admire that neck. It’s so long.

Eva Mendes — Secret Obsession

Oops. Ms. Mendes let a nipple get away from her here.

Beyonce — Heat

Man, I don’t know if a sweaty, nearly nude Beyonce would make me want to buy her fragrance, but it certainly makes me want to watch the ad. Again.









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Comments

I don't wear perfume at all, much less celebrity scents. I think that if I did wear perfume, I would be much less likely to wear a celebrity scent (one "designed" by a celebrity, not just endorsed by one). It really would depend on what it smelled like, which is much more important to me than how an ad looks or who is in it.

Honestly, I had no idea that was Charlize Theron in that ad. That one is, in fact, the only one of the bunch I've seen and frankly, I hate it. I don't know why, I just do.

Posted by: elsie at March 22, 2011 2:32 PM

Dude how could you miss this one? Milla Jovovich wanting us to take her? Hell yes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ma8a5u3pfHQ

Posted by: Yesplease at March 22, 2011 2:43 PM

KK's definitely got a padded ass in that commercial. No way does she have curves like that.

Posted by: AM at March 22, 2011 3:27 PM

A 3+ minute commercial? That's a bit much even if I do think Keira Knightley is quite pretty.

Posted by: grace b at March 22, 2011 3:44 PM

I always remember that one ad with Nicole Kidman and Rodrigo Santoro, where she's all throaty-voiced and screams out "I LOVE TO DANCE" like this giant idiot, or one of those kids from Yo Gabba Gabba. That one was just so damn silly.

Posted by: figgy at March 22, 2011 4:13 PM

"KK's definitely got a padded ass in that commercial. No way does she have curves like that."
- Posted by: AM

I only watched up to when she got to the photo studio, and I sort of agree. Only I don't think it was proper posterior padding. To me it looks like they paid her in singles and she just folded the bills and stuffed them into her back pockets.

Re: Eva Mendes rogue nipple. I'm sad to report, and even sadder to realize, that I'm now old enough and jaded enough that when confronted with video of the illicit bits of a gorgeous celebrity, I was mostly let down by the lack of perk.

The 15 year old Groundloop is bitterly disappointed by the hollow shell of a man I've become.

Posted by: Groundloop at March 22, 2011 5:10 PM

WOW
I need a cold shower now.

They had a lot of money to do all these ads!

Posted by: James at March 22, 2011 5:15 PM

I don't know if she's wearing a but pad in that ad, but Keira's definitely a pear shape and has larger legs and ass than you'd expect on such a small frame.

Posted by: kayla at March 22, 2011 6:09 PM

Wait - is Keira Knightly riding a beige motorcycle? Beige? Really? That is the opposite of badass.

And why is Natalie Portman wearing sunglasses in the bathtub?

Maybe I'm just not arty enough for perfume.

Posted by: Tits McGee at March 22, 2011 8:58 PM

No Tommy Fresh?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at March 22, 2011 10:21 PM

I'm not into perfume (gives me headaches), but the Charlize Theron commercial never fails to amaze with both its WTF-ness and its sexiness.

Posted by: MM at March 23, 2011 12:23 AM

Thanks for the reminder that Khloe is the ugly one. I can never keep them straight.

Posted by: , at March 23, 2011 11:29 AM