web
counter

the walking dead / snl / mindhole blowers / netflix / celebrity facts / marvel / liveblogging the 90s


Race-and-Gender Bending Pop Culture Icons: Nightmare Fuel for Hate-filled Nerds

By Rob Payne | Seriously Random Lists | September 10, 2013 | Comments ()


pajibanerdnightmares.jpg

Sometimes it feels like 2013 has been the Year of Racist, Sexist Nerd Culture. Certain people flipped out over the rumored possible casting of Michael B. Jordan, a young African American actor, playing the role of Johnny Storm, a.k.a. the Human Torch of the Fantastic Four, who is traditionally drawn in comic books as an Aryan super-man. Then we have the complete and utter dearth of women-led films, much less blockbusters, despite the fact it’s a perpetual “surprise” how successful women-led movies can be if given the same chances as the menfolk. True, there was also Lawrence Fishburne playing the usually aptly named Perry White in Man of Steel and Chloe Grace Moretz reprising her role as the fan-favorite Hit Girl in Kick-Ass 2, but those are exceptions and haters were annoyed by the movies themselves than they were any casting notices. Plus, Johnny Depp as Tonto kind of trumps all other arguments.

And then I remember that before now we also found out that white supremacists really love the non-Norse-deity-totally-outer-space-alien version of Thor so much that the incredibly talented Idris Elba couldn’t even be cast in a minor role of the movie adaptation without angering the online hordes. There was also the continuing controversy over portrayals of female super heroes in pop culture, specifically in regards to the official DC canonical universe after a reboot of all their series caused the women to get boobier, hippier, and much less clothed — as well as less interesting, save for a few stand-outs. The white washing — turning non-white characters Anglo-Saxony by casting white actors — has been a happy Hollywood tradition forever, as long as everyone stays the same gender: Mickey Rooney in “yellowface” for Breakfast at Tiffany’s; Tommy Lee Jones replacing Billy Dee Williams in Batman Forever; D.B. Sweeney playing the previously black Terry Fitzgerald in Spawn; and almost the entire cast of The Last Airbender, save, of course, for the racially darker-toned villains. Thankfully the proposed Americanized adaptation of the classic anime Akira — with a proposed slew of white actors playing characters who retain names like Kaneda and, ahem, Akira — has failed to ever materialize beyond disappointed trade news posts. So, really, every year is apparently the Year of Racist, Sexist Nerd Culture.

So, with the extremely limited power at my disposal, I’d like to offer a philosophical corrective to all this non-equality bullshit and play another round of dream casting. Rather than take one property and totally make it over, or toss around several properties with varying color and anatomical changes, let’s take one prominent figure from a plethora of source material and change them fundamentally. Some of these changes might actually get at something truer about the character, or the change could visually illustrate the overall universality of that character. At least one of these changes is just because I think it would be hilarious. But the point is, as my awesome prognisticating skills have shown, these choices could work. After all, it’s supposed to be about the right actor for the part, isn’t it?

If you’re one of those hateful crumbums who, say, lamented how not-depressing Rue’s fate in The Hunger Games was because her skin color didn’t match your imagination’s poor reading comprehension skills, please accept my offer to suck on these Everything-Bended Dream Casts. For everyone else, enjoy!


Donald Glover as Peter Parker Spider-Man
pajibanerdnightmaresSpidey.jpg
Might as well start with the obvious. When Glover good-naturedly started spreading some of his fans’ desires to see him play the legendary wall-crawler in the rebooted Amazing Spider-Man, he was one of the first of the current crop of black performers who heard from the Internet’s most loveable scamps, the racists with anger management issues. But just because he’s old mask at this point doesn’t mean Glover wouldn’t be any less a fantastic Spider-Man, as well as a solid Peter Parker. With every passing sequal starring Andrew Garfield, the chances of this happening go from incredibly unlikely to as impossible for anyone currently alive to see as the inevitable heat-death of the universe. But Glover will always be my friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.


Adam Beach as Steve Rogers Captain America
pajibanerdnightmaresCap.jpg
I have absolutely nothing against Chris Evans’ portrayal of the All-American (which is, strangely, also very Aryan) Steve Rogers. He fits exactly the mold as drawn in the comics and really plays the man-out-of-his-time naivete with an unexpected, delightful charm. That said, there’s absolutely no reason Steve Rogers, much less Captain America, has to be as white and as blond as Evans is. One could go the route of The Truth, the graphic novel that presupposed a black Cap before the white Cap, but that comic’s ideas are far better than it’s execution. No, let’s actually get at what it means to have and accept an American identity in the United States, something that my fellow white people know is all too easily accepted as a simple, well, truth. Adam Beach has shown he has quite the talent for playing men both with naivete and an U.S. armed forces uniform, and casting a Native American in the role of the country’s most patriotic defender offers more dramatic tension than just another white guy, and it isn’t even historically far-fetched. The Marvel Studio gears are churning as fast as they can, but this is the first Avenger I’d like to see rebooted sooner rather than later.


Michael K. Williams as Lex Luthor
pajibanerdnightmaresLex1.jpg
Despite rumors to the contrary, Bryan Cranston is not, nor will he ever be, Zack Snyder’s Lex Luthor in the upcoming Batman vs. Superman. Or, he could be, but it won’t be in that movie. Nevertheless, the role remains as-yet un-cast and, if written correctly, could be the juicest role in the new film just like he was when played by Gene Hackman (or Kevin Spacey, or Michael Rosenbaum, or Clancy Brown). But just like there’s no reason Peter Parker needs to be a white a kid just because he grew up poor and in Brooklyn, Lex Luthor does not need to be a bald ginger just because he’s rich and from Kansas. Initially, Lance Reddick came to mind as a possible Luthor, but that could be considering typecasting just because the man’s chromedome glimmers just so. Almost immediately, though, Reddick’s “The Wire” castmate came barreling into my brain, as is his wont. Michael K. Williams can play suave and dangerous with the ease of a man who is just waking up from a nap, but don’t go to sleep on him. He’d bring a whole new demeanor to the character, while providing the most likely candidate for a Presidential run storyline we’ve yet seen in a Metropolis-set tale. If Batman and Superman come at his Lex, they best not miss.


John Barrowman as James Bond
pajibanerdnightmaresBond.jpg
This is another character where it makes sense to initially go with a black actor, as if those rumors of Idris Elba stepping in after Daniel Craig inevitably hangs up his Walther PPK have escaped any of us. And it’s true, Elba would make a fantastic Bond. But other than tackling the squirmy issue of racial-sexual politics (I can just see those fans who bemoaned Craig’s “James Blonde” absolutely losing their minds here), as long as the character still beds women, nothing is really any different. On the other hand, if James Bond were a gay man, he would be viewed completely differently, without changing his core dynamic of being a British espionage agent who really, really loves to shag. Instead of being just a misogynist womanizer/ladies’ man, he simply has an insatiable appetite for the Queen’s justice and for the beast with two backs. Depending on how you square the spy’s mid-30s to mid-40s existence over 60 years, this isn’t even that drastic of a make-over. As for John Barrowman, he could easily play James Bond as a straight incarnation. But as the guy who played Captain Jack and stole the heart of every man and woman who watched “Torchwood,” he is absolutely the only choice to play the gay James Bond. You can’t even say a word about his hair.


Naveen Andrews as Jack Bauer (or, his replacement)
pajibanerdnightmares24.jpg
Before you flip out too much, bear in mind that actually replacing Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer isn’t going to happen anytime soon and probably never should. At least, not while he’s still alive and planning a return for the “24” character on TV sometime in the near future. But after eight seasons and one pseudo-movie, do we really need Jack Bauer defending us from terrorist threats anymore? Wouldn’t it be far more interesting to see a new actor take on a similarly harried and impressive character, and wouldn’t that character be far more interesting in today’s world if he didn’t look exactly like an un-masked Captain America? To that end, after “LOST,” Naveen Andrews, who played wannabe repentant torturer Sayid, really needs the work. It seems bizarre that he wasn’t cast as Khan Noonien-Singh in Star Trek Into Darkness, considering the director and screenwriters of that disappointing debacle, as he was one of the most beloved performers his TV show’s huge cast. It would be a fantastic twist of his career if his next role was as a capturer of terrorists on American TV’s most popular terrorist-catching program. Let Sutherland show him the ropes for a half-season, then past that weapon-grades baton to Andrews and never look back.


Jane Levy as Marty McFly
pajibanerdnightmaresMcFly.jpg
Names like Zac Efron and Justin Bieber have been bandied about in the past as possible replacements for Michael J. Fox as the new Marty McFly for the taste of this new tween generation. Other than being choices with the sole intent of illiciting squeels from a certain type of audience member, either Efron or Bieber would be incredibly boring. Still, the premise behind Back to the Future is strong enough that it could be updated interestingly if we hurry up and get it done by 2015 (the year Marty and Doc Brown go to the future in Part II), sending the next McFly to 1985 instead of 1955. But why does Marty have to be a teenage dude? Why can’t the time traveler be a girl who gets skeeved out by her flirty future-father (Chris Pratt?) and has to get her mortified mother (Gillian Jacobs?) to come out of her shell before they never meet, which would cause her and her siblings to fade out of existence? Jane Levy proved she could follow in Bruce Campbell’s footsteps in Evil Dead, without actually playing Ash, so walking along the flaming tire tracks left by Fox’s McFly shouldn’t prove any more difficult. If it has to happen, Levy as Marty (Marti?) could make a BttF remake a lot like Hot Tub Time Machine, but actually fun.


Jamie Foxx as Jesus Christ
pajibanerdnightmaresJesus.jpg
Honestly, as an agnostic, I don’t care enough about Jesus to have a dog in the fight between theologians and scholars who argue that he must have been Jewish, or Arab, or African, instead of the lily-white version that became canon during the Middle Ages. Like Spider-Man, it really doesn’t matter what color Jesus was, it only matters what his message was (and, realistically, how people interpret that). I just want to see Jamie Foxx play Jesus Christ. In a movie by Quentin Tarantino that is essentially a spiritual prequel to Django Unchained, with a huge portion of the same cast — Christoph Waltz as Pontius Pilate, Kerry Washington as Mary Magdalene, Leonard DiCaprio as the Devil, and Sam Jackson as God. Foxx is one of the most charismatic actors working today, able to play low-key and bluster with equal grace, so he’s a natural fit for the most charismatic historical figure that ever lived. He would at least make more sense than Willem Dafoe or Harvey Keitel as denizens of the ancient world in The Last Temptation of Christ. We can call it Jesus Uncrossed.


Samm Levine as The Wolverine
pajibanerdnightmaresWolverine.jpg
Hugh Jackman will likely play Logan, the indestructible mutant with more rage than hair (and he’s got a lot of hair), until the day he retires from acting or dies from an on-set claw malfunction. But assuming he hangs up his pleather jumpsuit after X-Men: Days of Future Past, I can think of only one person who could capture the rage and the hair of Wolverine. Samm Levine, of “Freaks and Geeks” fame. As a regular on comedian Doug Benson’s podcast, Doug Loves Movies, Levine already evinces his short fuse during poorly run or poorly played versions of the Leonard Maltin Game. His nickname on that show is already “L’il Wolverine,” and it’s more than just the physical resemblance. Like Logan, Levine is the best there is at what he does, whether it’s slicing up a ninja or winning the Maltin Game in negative two names. It doesn’t hurt, of course, that the comic Wolverine is actually about as short in stature as Levine himself is in real life. So, actually, this is the one instance where I’m siding with the unimaginative pedants.


Rob Payne also writes the web comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter, tumbls on the Tumblr, and his wares can be purchased here. He enjoys that the only accepted intolerance is reserved for the intolerant.




25 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Twins That You Will Never Learn from Movies and TV | Olivia Munn Explains How She Faked an Orgasm When She Lost Her Virginity






Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Brandon Denny

    I wonder if maybe the creators could just stop being lazy money-grubs and create new and interesting characters instead of randomly changing the race/sex of existing and well established characters to try and cash in on a legacy.

    You can't tell me you think people would be fine with casting Michael Cera as John Shaft. I would be a shitstorm and the producers would be accused of racism for white-washing beloved and kick-ass character. Hell, Sam Jackson was only good enough to be his nephew.

    The worst kind of fan is an activist fan; doesn't care or even know much about the character other than they want it to be diverse for diversity's sake.

  • BlackRabbit

    Out of curiosity, was there a lot of debate over Mr. Duncan's casting as the Kingpin?

  • Aaron Schulz

    Man jewverine would be pretty great, hes the proper size, hes got the hair, he probably knows wolverines story front to back. I want this, give it to me.

  • okayflint

    i really love the idea of jane levy as marty mcfly

  • Guest

    Jane Levy as Marty McFly...

    Donald Glover as Mcfly would be my first choice but Levy would be awesome as well.

  • Aaron Schulz

    I feel like Donald looks to old, i mean not that MJF was young when he played him but he did look 17 or whatever. Although i was thinking about the gender bending and i like the idea of having like Jane Lynch or Sigourney Weaver play Doc Brown.

  • Ben

    A black Luthor and not Idris Elba just so he can play Luthor and Luther?

    I'm dissapointed.

  • John G.

    his full title is:

    Samm "The Ma'am" Levine AKA "L'il wolverine".

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You want to see people freak out? I suggest casting Lois Lane or Mary Jane with a black woman.

  • e jerry powell

    I think Barrowman makes a good choice for Bond inasmuch as I tend to believe that human sexuality in espionage is as much a tool of expedience, all other things being equal, and Bond being strictly one or the other has always struck me as needlessly limiting within the context. I know that staunchly heterosexual Ian Fleming would probably have shit himself, but I'm thinking in terms of courses of action an operative working alone might consider to reach an objective, personal considerations about sexuality aside (of course, being bisexual could help situationally).

    Of course, suggesting that any other gay actor might play a gay James Bond might drive Rupert Everett to madness.

    As an undecided heathen myself, my Southern upbringing reminds me that so many white people would completely lose their shit at the mere suggestion that Christ was anything but a long-haired western European English-speaking white guy (though some will tolerate Caviezel speaking Aramaic as long as it still makes Jews look evil). Outright conniption fits, bordering on mass hysteria induced cranial aneurysms.

    Actually, that might be fun to watch.

    All the same, not so much with the Jamie Foxx. Maybe not even Denzel.

  • I have never been to a super hero movie, but if Idris Elba were cast in one, I would buy all the tickets. I would see all the showings. I would own all the merchandise. I would wear out all the DVDs. That is all.

  • Aaron Schulz

    Idris did play Heimdall in Thor, hes essentially a super hero, just not the main character.

  • Brooke the Replicant

    Me too. Me too. I would hang a poster of him on my bedroom wall (to the chagrin of my husband.)

  • Arco

    Okay, sorry, but this is just kind of filled with bs. So when non-white character gets portrayed by a white actor, it's contemptuous 'white-washing' but if people don't like it the other way around they must be racist haters? Ookay.

    And for the record, complaining that white Tommy Lee Jones replaced black Billy Dee Williams, and giving it as an example of said white-washing, is ridiculous. Who were they playing again? Oh, right. Harvey Dent. A white character.

    Look, to me it's really simple. I generally don't like it when actors are too far removed in type from the characters, for the same reasons as I don't like it when those characters are written in a way that's too far removed from the source material: They become different characters.

    Take Michael Clarke Duncan as the Kingpin. I didn't mind that. He was a good actor and had the physical menace to boot. But he was a different character. The Kingpin was very much meant to be white. The rich, fat, corrupt businessman/crime lord that runs us all. 'The Man' in every way that people usually mean when talk about who's in charge in our world. That whole symbolism changes when you make him black. Also, in sheer characterization, a black man and a white man climbing up to that status will simply not have made the same journey. It was a different character.

    Now, he still worked fine but he was not the Kingpin I grew up reading about. And when they make a movie based on any source material that I love, I like them to stay as close to it as they can.

    I promise you most of the time when people complain, that will be the root cause. Are there really people who would find it perfectly great to see Matt Damon as the new Shaft? How about Hugh Jackman as Luke Cage? I bet people being upset with that would be just fine, right?

    It's not about racism or sexism. It's about wanting to see what you used to see in a great modern movie with great effects. I mean, it wasn't a big deal, but would it have killed Jennifer Garner to die her hair black? Elektra was supposed to be a greek character. Would it have been that much of a sacrifice to at least sport some black hair? It was just another detail that moved it all away from the original character. Not racism. Not sexism. Just another unnessecary departure from the source material.
    Really, it's that simple.

    Peter Parker is supposed to be a lower-middle class, dark-haired, science-nerd white kid from Brooklyn. If he's black, he's a different character. He might still be awesome. The movie and story might be good. The actor might be great. But he wouldn't be the Peter Parker I used to read about and when they make a movie based on the comics, that's what I'd like to see.

    Other people don't care about that, and love seeing a lot of variations on a character. Well, good for them. Not being like that doesn't automatically make one a racist, and such sloppily argued generalizations are kind of disappointing.

  • Ben

    As a big comic book fan that loves the original designs and characters, this is the biggest load of absolute bullshit I've ever read.

    If you can't handle characters being changed or updated based on current ideas and philosophies, YOU SHOULDN'T BE READING COMICS. Seriously, just stop. It's kind of how the entire genre works. To have these constantly shifting and changing worlds where what is canon one year, means nothing in 5 years.

    I mean you complain that Duncans Kingpin is essentailly a different character to the comic version? But wich one? Frank Miller Kingpin is basically an entirely different character to Stan Lee Kingpin.

    This is what comics are, this is what they've always been.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Wrong site to have and express that opinion.

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Also, in sheer characterization, a black man and a white man climbing up to that status will simply not have made the same journey. It was a different character."

    Who says they wouldn't have, though? If the back story is already written, how does race change the journey? Or are you saying the "characterization" is based on the generality that white folks have an easier time succeeding in American than black folks?

    If you break it down, doesn't ANY adaptation change the character in some way? Hugh Jackman is like a foot taller than comics Wolverine - is that a substantially less important detail than his skin colour? How about the leather suit vs. the classic yellow? Why doesn't that get the same amount of internet geek outrage as a black Johnny Storm? The last two Spider-man adaptations - the first one had his high school crush being MJ, the second had it being Gwen Stacy. But apparently changing the timeline of his lady loves is less important than his skin colour.

    There's a false equivalency at work here. The reason it's a big deal for characters of colour to be "whitewashed" is because there's WAAAAY less of them overall and it's far more common for these characters to be played by white actors. It's not "the same thing" to cast a non-white actor in a role as a "white" character because white people haven't been persecuted, marginalized, and stereotyped the way that people of other ethnic backgrounds have been. It's not a valid parallel.

    Unfortunately, because of the "normalization" of white culture, it's the default race for comic book heroes. Black, Asian, Indian characters - they tend to have been created with their ethnicity a distinct part of the character. Luke Cage and Black Panther would look really silly played by a white actor - but it's because the ethnicity is inherent. Peter Parker is a super-smart, not-well-off kid who lives with his aunt because his parents are dead and he watched his uncle/father figure get gunned down on a street corner. What about that is endemic to a white guy?

    I can appreciate a desire to have the adaptations adhere strictly to a well-known, well-loved character. I don't think it's necessarily racist to want a character to match their comic depiction. But I think there IS an element of racism when the major focus is on a characters race, neglecting other major changes or when, for example, there's ALREADY BEEN an adaptation of Johnny Storm or Peter Parker as a white guy and people still get all up in arms because the next installment he might be black.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    So wait, every time they make a movie, you want the exact same character with no variations? Because there have been roughly 9 billion permutations of Batman, including in the comics, so which one is the right and proper one? Can you make a list for Hollywood?
    Why do you get to decide what the perfect iteration of each character is? Why can't we try different things - especially when working with something as fluid as comic books, which have alternate universes/timelines/character deaths and resurrections?

  • Wow. You wrote a lot. I didn't read much of it, but your dedication is impressive.

  • That was kind of dickish. The dude was reasonably civil(for the Internet, anyways) and made his point in a fairly polite and well-reasoned fashion. You shouldn't just dismiss him like all he wrote was a bunch of poorly-spelled racial epithets.

  • I was being honest. I was impressed with the time and energy that must have taken. But it's nothing I haven't read or heard before. Epithets or not, I'm unmoved by a "that's just the way it is" types of arguments. The underlying issue about lack of representation remains unchallenged by just going with the status quo. And the idea that race fundamentally changes all characters into completely different people when race isn't a factor in their story is ludicrous on its face. That's what I dismissed, and I was a lot nicer than my initial reaction would have been. So, there.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Adam Beach as everything! I love him so dearly and he doesn't get the accolades or the work he deserves.

    Also, hush your mouth Rob, Idris for Bond or no Bond at all!

  • marigi

    I'm sorry, but John Barrowman totally lacks Bond's poker face or glacial expressions. He's as gay (the other meaning) as one of the old ladies in Arsenic and Old Lace, and I don't see him playing Bond at all.

  • My only problem with a Black Johnny Storm is that being Sue's brother is a big part of his character. So they'd have to make Sue Black as well. Then you have the White guy with a Black wife trope, which also raises people's hackles.

    If they really want to be bold, make Super Genius Reed Black. With a White wife.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Someone who hasn't read the comics and genuinely doesn't know here:
    Couldn't he be adopted, or part of a blended family? Is it that essential that they share blood?
    Also, isn't this a case of baby steps? Yeah, a black woman with a white man might raise some people's hackles, but isn't that better than just never allowing a black woman to play the part because you're afraid of a trope?
    I mean screw it, could Sue and Johnny both be Middle Eastern and Reed black? Would that step enough outside the bounds of racial tropes to please the fans?

  • Yocean

    Wait, all eight posts and mentioning Last Airbender and Akira without any Asian surrogate suggestion? Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they did not going w Asian caricature Mandarin in Iron man 3 but we are as under represented on screens or comics as it could get. I watched the awful Wolverine just so I can support Japanese actors in it. How about RINKO KIKUCHI as Cat Woman? Or Tony Leoung as Iron Man, James Bond or Bat Man or really anyone with charm and suade?

  • I actually considered an Asian Batman, but I am not knowledgeable enough with current performers of that descent to really make an educated pick. I've made that mistake before. That said, Rinko Kikuchi as just about anyone from the Bat-family or Rogues Gallery could work.

  • BlackRabbit

    Interestingly, Batman doesn't have any Asian villains. Well, maybe Ra's Al Ghul. Not that I'd hate any race-switching, just observing.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Asian actor with charm to spare? Jiang Wen. I don't know if he can speak English fluently enough to be a leading man in a Hollywood movie, but he's generally awesome.

  • Eric J. Ehlers

    I'm totally behind a Back to the Future remake with a girl.
    That led me into a discussion of whether we needed to reverse the roles played by Marti's parents. That led into saying why can't they BOTH skeeve on Marti?
    And that led to... we don't need to genderbend to do that. A bi-curious same-sex parent and a lovestruck puppy opposite sex parent. We know they're compatible because they both dig the same type of person. Plus you know, fending off the flirtations of BOTH parents adds more comedy potential.
    Note that among geeks I predict this would work better with girl-Marti more than boy-Marti, because sexism.
    I'm waiting for my script-writing advance, Spielberg. I can have it done in a month.

  • Archie Leach

    I used to have an XT just like in that picture!

    Actually, I still have it in my garage.....

  • Jerce

    Michael K. Williams as ANYONE. ANYTHING. ANYWHERE. He could play an order of fries on a McDonald's billboard and I would probably be unable to tear my eyes away from it.

  • If it is all about having the right actor for the part, it doesn't seem that ridiculous to me that a white person could replace a non-white person. I'm not disagreeing with the main point of the article. But there really isn't much wrong if it happens every now and then, is there?

  • Kim Voeks

    But the problem is, that it happens all the time.

  • I guess it's pretty difficult to even find a traditionally non-white role that would be suitable for a white person now that I think of it.

  • Jay Logan

    1) I call a bit of a trollbait/click bait on this article.
    2) I'm not trying to deny that there is hate even among nerds that is based on race, religion, etc. Hate based on discrimination is something that is present in all groups of society.
    3)I personally don't like when the news breaks about a gender and/or race bending casting decision. Even though I understand, that in the transition from comics, books, etc some things need to be changed, because they wouldn't work on screen, I still like the adaptation to be as close to the source material as possible. I'm not going to call a boycott on the movie if something like that happens, I'm still gonna see it and probably enjoy it, if the movie's good. And yes, I would like to see Glover as Spider-Man, but I would still have that little thorn in my side if he played a Peter Parker Spider-Man.
    4) Don't even joke about the remake of Back to the Future. Not because Jane Levy, who was great in the Evil Dead (and as much as I hate to admit it, I even watch suburgatory, even though it went straight downhill after the pilot with nearly the speed of light) but because I hate even the idea of such great movie being remade.

  • Wigamer

    Michael B. Jordan can play anything he wants to. He can play the Human Torch, Kimberley from Diff'rent Strokes, or George effing Washington. That is how much he means to me.

  • getreal

    Am I the only one who thinks the casual throwing around of the word 'misogynist' is becoming troublesome? The meaning of the word 'misognyist' is as follows: Noun
    A woman hater.
    Adjective
    Reflecting or inspired by a hatred of women.
    Does James Bond HATE women? Does he hate all of womankind? No. This is pretty evident of his relationship with M. Sleeping with many women does not equate to a hatred of them all.

    Jesus christ.

  • Ben

    Go watch some of the old bond movies, dude is totes misogynist in it. His 'flirtation' with Pussy Galore in Goldfinger is less flirtation then it is... well rape. He also blackmail rapes a nurse in another movie threatening to get her fired he she doesn't put out.

  • Slash

    Yeah, this.

  • Aaron

    After reading Fleming's Casino Royale it's pretty clear he is a misognyist in the book. Might be debatable in the movies though.

  • chanohack

    The misuse and overuse of "misogyny" lessens its impact for when it is truly needed.

  • *clapping*

  • Bert_McGurt

    I really like a lot of these suggestions Rob. Particularly Barrowman (he could even be a bisexual Bond) and Levy (Jim Carrey for Doc Brown maybe?). And I think Adam Beach would make a very intriguing Captain America, but I'm going to nitpick you on one teeny tiny thing - since he's Canadian, he'd likely call himself aboriginal, First Nations, or Saulteax rather than Native American.

  • John W

    I admit years ago I used to freak out over stuff like that. You can't have a Black/Latino Spider-man! (Clutches pearls.)

    But cosplay has changed my mind on all that.

    You see so many race/gender swapping it makes you realize that the geeky stuff you love, the stuff you think ONLY you love, is actually loved by people from all walks of life. Girls, Boys, Men, Women, Black, White, Straight, Gay, everyone loves all the geeky stuff you love too.

    It really hits home when you see kids engage in it. When you see a little girl dressed up as Iron Man you say to yourself, "Hey it could work."

  • junierizzle

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    *applause*
    I wish I could upvote this a million times.

  • emmalita

    Nicely said.

  • kkirkpat

    Adam Beach is a total fox. I've had a crush on him for years, which was only magnified by "Arctic Air". It's nice to see him getting some love on Pajiba!

  • Guinness Leary

    "D.B. Sweeney playing the previously black Terry Fitzgerald in Spawn"

    The reason for this casting was if you had read the source material. Satan curses Al Simmons to look white when he tried to appear normal. Basically still torturing him. Go back and look it up first before just throwing that out there. Not that I defend the movie or Todd McFarlane. Both suck and are abominations to this earth.

  • Terry is not Spawn. D.B. Sweeney was cast as Spawn's best friend when he was alive, Terry Fitzgerald. In the comics, he was black. D.B. Sweeney is not black, like, even a little bit. This was done because the studio didn't want it's only white characters to be the villain or homeless. Todd MacFarlane said as much.

  • RhymesWithSilver

    I submit that we stop calling whatever people online are full of "hate" and just accept it for what it is 98.5 percent of the time: derp. As for the other tiny percentage, it seems to me we take a little too much pleasure in shamef--king anonymous assholes and weirdos who post on YouTube. It should be equally newsworthy that most of the movies cited in the "whitewashing" tradition were either from quite some time ago, or were universally decried as complete wastes of celluloid, in no small part because they were hideously miscast. And in the case of "Spawn", the whitewashing should be cited as a heroic example of sparing
    an ethnic minority the embarrassment of having been in that movie. Poor John Leguizamo...damn thing near killed him...

  • mfg

    Adam Beach as Captain America? Swoon...! Yes, please!

  • Wigamer

    Can I just say, I *am* a fan of Jesus, and Jesus probably looked a whole lot more like Jaime Foxx than he did the Italian-Renaissance ideal that keeps getting shoved down our throats? Drives me crazy.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    But why not have Jesus look like someone born in Jerusalem? What's Oded Fehr doing these days? In fact, I'd be happy to see Fehr on the big screen as Jack Bauer's replacement too, though that may be a little on the nose.

  • Wigamer

    Exactly. Westerners cannot bear the thought that Jesus didn't look like them. It is so weird.

  • BlackRabbit

    Not to mention the "Apple" bit.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Well, it is hard to subjugate whole sets of races if you think your lord and savior looks like them.

  • Wigamer

    +1!

  • marigi

    This is what Christ looked like according to VI cent. Roman Christians:

    http://www.atlantedellarteital...

  • NathanielS

    So Forest Whitaker?

  • Wigamer

    Pretty non-European.

  • marigi

    Yup. Sorry about the repeated messages. I don't know what happened!!!

  • Guest

    This is what Christ looked like according to VI cent. Roman Christians:

  • Guest

    This is what he looked like according to VI cent. Roman Christians:/Users/gimacII/Desktop/Cristo cosma e damiano.jpg

  • PDamian

    Remember the Cosby Show spinoff A Different World? One episode had a character baking cookies shaped and iced to look like Jesus, and everyone gave her a hard time about her "Jheri-Curl Jesus" cookie. Obviously this is a notion whose time has come.

  • Wigamer

    I have never understood this. Two things: if you set aside the son of God thing, but think he was an amazing philosopher/teacher/whatever, then why not depict him in a historically accurate manner? And if you *do* believe Jesus was the son of God, then he transcends the physical anyway, so you don't have to keep selling a European Jesus to non-Europeans because it DOES NOT MATTER. It is seriously a mind-boggler, and I love me some Jesus.

  • John G.

    It matters to racists.

  • Wigamer

    It is hard for me to believe a racist understands anything about the actual teaching of Christ. They just parrot what someone told them to believe.

  • PDamian

    Preach.

  • WhoDeyKY

    So...you're saying Jesus didn't have blue eyes?

  • John G.

    forget about the blue eyes. What about those abs. Tell me those aren't a lie.

  • Aaron Schulz

    The son of God was shredded

  • Wigamer

    Nope. In fact, Popular Mechanics did this really interesting article on a forensic anthropologist's work to come up with a more accurate depiction of a Jewish man from that time period. Here's the result:

  • Mrs. Julien

    Luthor comin'!

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    !!!!!!!!!

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    When Superman come at the king, he best not miss.

blog comments powered by Disqus