Unnecessary ’90s nostalgia is all around us, from the hoopla over the most likely “oh god, why is this happening?” Full House revival, to all the down and dirty details of Lifetime’s Saved by the Bell…thing. Here are 10 shows that should never, ever be revived, whether because they’re great as is or because they’re terrible and we shouldn’t feel nostalgic for them. EVER.
My So-Called Life
DO NOT TOUCH THIS SHOW WITH A 10-FOOT POLE. IT’S PERFECT AS IS.
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
This show was achingly ’90s, from the title font to Will Smith rapping to the wonderful clothes. Parents just don’t understand, and neither will the teens of today.
Clarissa Explains It All
Clarissa doesn’t need to explain trending hashtags, blogging, and Snapchat to us. There’s a reason there’s an unaired pilot where she’s in college.
The Secret World of Alex Mack
The CGI on this Nick classic was so, so, so bad. I’d hate to see what a modern update to Alex’s liquid puddle (ew) would look like now.
Sweet Valley High
I’ll cop to reading these books obsessively when I was younger (though nothing in my heart will replace my love for The Babysitters’ Club), and I expected the show to be a fully realized version of the series. Alas, it wasn’t, but it still somehow lasted for four seasons. Let’s not make the same mistake again.
There’s no need to update this Saturday morning basketball comedy (yeah…), which was like Friday Night Lights without the heart.
It’s Ryan Murphy’s best (only good?) work, so leave the satirically great show alone.
As much as I want Sarah Michelle Gellar in a show worthy of her talents (i.e. not Ringer or The Crazy Ones), this short-lived soap opera wouldn’t translate well today. It sounds like Gossip Girl lite, and that’s a double negative that doesn’t make a positive.
The premise of the show — two high school “geeks” create the perfect computer woman who comes to real life — would become even creepier with older men.