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Please Never Revive These 10 Quintessential ‘90s Shows

By Nadia Chaudhury | Seriously Random Lists | August 27, 2014 | Comments ()


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Unnecessary ’90s nostalgia is all around us, from the hoopla over the most likely “oh god, why is this happening?” Full House revival, to all the down and dirty details of Lifetime’s Saved by the Bell…thing. Here are 10 shows that should never, ever be revived, whether because they’re great as is or because they’re terrible and we shouldn’t feel nostalgic for them. EVER.

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My So-Called Life
DO NOT TOUCH THIS SHOW WITH A 10-FOOT POLE. IT’S PERFECT AS IS.

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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
This show was achingly ’90s, from the title font to Will Smith rapping to the wonderful clothes. Parents just don’t understand, and neither will the teens of today.

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Clarissa Explains It All
Clarissa doesn’t need to explain trending hashtags, blogging, and Snapchat to us. There’s a reason there’s an unaired pilot where she’s in college.

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Clueless
As if.

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The Secret World of Alex Mack
The CGI on this Nick classic was so, so, so bad. I’d hate to see what a modern update to Alex’s liquid puddle (ew) would look like now.

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Sweet Valley High
I’ll cop to reading these books obsessively when I was younger (though nothing in my heart will replace my love for The Babysitters’ Club), and I expected the show to be a fully realized version of the series. Alas, it wasn’t, but it still somehow lasted for four seasons. Let’s not make the same mistake again.

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Hang Time
There’s no need to update this Saturday morning basketball comedy (yeah…), which was like Friday Night Lights without the heart.

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Popular
It’s Ryan Murphy’s best (only good?) work, so leave the satirically great show alone.

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Swan’s Crossing
As much as I want Sarah Michelle Gellar in a show worthy of her talents (i.e. not Ringer or The Crazy Ones), this short-lived soap opera wouldn’t translate well today. It sounds like Gossip Girl lite, and that’s a double negative that doesn’t make a positive.

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Weird Science
The premise of the show — two high school “geeks” create the perfect computer woman who comes to real life — would become even creepier with older men.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • gemmazemma

    This list has awesomely Indian overtones :)

  • Murd0ck

    Goods stories are universal and timeless ;)

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    Why? Why would you put a post like this on the interwebs? Don't you know where these ass hole studio exec's get all their ideas from? Some sh*tburger is going to put revive 90's shows into google, and this is going to pop up. And he is not going to read the frigging title, he is just going to see a list of shows, and he will greenlight every single one of them, and it will be all your fault.

  • Abby Cadabby

    Hang Time! LOL Man, I used to love watching all these crappy morning shows. It's also very refreshing to know someone else remembers Popular!

  • PerpetualIntern

    Where the hell is Tino?

  • girlnamedgrace

    "Hang time, hangin together. Hang time, putting it on the line. Hang time, I'll always remember, me and friends and hang time!" That song gets stuck in my head about once a day. Usually with variations. Like "Lunch time, eating a salad..." and the likes.

  • e jerry powell

    I am really, really old.

  • Ginger McFlea

    Can I pull up a rocking chair next to you?

  • Robert Sanchez III

    Such a crush on Alex Mack when I was younger!!!!

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Shit, I don't know, Are You Afraid of the Dark?

    What about Trapper John, M.D.? Is that the right decade? I'm sure it is.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Horsin' Around.

  • Berry

    Sabrina the teen-age witch.

  • robbermaiden

    Is that Jessica Alba in the Alex Mack photo??

  • Pawesl

    Yes she was in a few episodes of the show

  • Alicia

    Never realized that there was a TV show based on "Weird Science."

  • It came on USA and lasted way longer than it should have.

  • laylaness

    Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Because no one can be Parker Lewis if it ain't Corin Nemec.

  • grr arrgh

    Hmm...but could you genderflip Weird Science and make it less creepy?
    You could either have two gay/bi boys making the perfect man or maybe to
    lesbian/bi girls making the perfect woman. I'd give it a couple episodes.

  • Maddy

    I used to love Alex Mack!

  • alwaysanswerb

    Is Popular streaming anywhere? I need to know for reasons.

  • kdm

    Can I add Breaker High and Student Bodies to the list?

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Yes, those shows need to stay forgotten. So much Canadian cheese. My sister used to live in the same apartment building as the dude who played the brunette's father on Ready or Not. What I don't understand is, why did she recognize him and not me? She is ten years older than me.

  • Anyhow any coked-up, nostalgia-plundering dickhead executive anywhere even thinks about touching Fresh Prince, and I will go on such a rampage that they'll have to move with their uncle and auntie somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to escape my wrath.

  • I was so in love with Alex Mack, like Joseph Godon-Levitt-level love in 10 Things I Hate About You.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Huh. I don't even remember half of those.

    However, the guy hair in that Sweet Valley High pic is so 90s it's hurting my brain. Ugh. So floppy. And the plastered on grins of the two "hunks"...I just can't see Jess or Liz going for *either* of them.

  • laylaness

    I don't know, Plastered-Smile Hunk with Side Part kind sort of looks like how I pictured Todd, regardless of the brooding cover illustrations on the books.

  • All of the hair curtains!

  • Michelle

    OMG SWAN'S CROSSING. I watched that every day it was on the summer I was.. what, 13? 14? SO BAD.

  • Kim Stephens

    It came on just as I was getting home from summer camp. I remember nothing about the plot aside from a significant birth mark.

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