Pajiba's People of the Year: 2011 Edition

By Joanna Robinson and Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (54)

Most Photogenic Alien Life Form: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The “Breathe A Sigh Of Relief, He’s Legal” Award: Evan Peters, “American Horror Story”

The Most Underappreciated Hottie of the Year: Female Edition: Paula Patton, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

The Most Underappreciated Hottie of the Year: Male Edition: Luke Evans, The Three Musketeers, Immortals

Most Consistently Entertaining Red Carpet Presence: Helena Bonham Carter The King’s Speech Awards Season and Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part II

The “Salmon Rushdie Fatwa” Award: Veena Sud, Showrunner, The Killing

The “Christoph Waltz One and Done” Award: Jean Dujardin

The “Next Big Action Star that Never Materialized” Award: Alex Pettyfer, In Time, Beastly and I Am Number Four

The “Love Him/Hate Him” Award: James Franco, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Your Highness, “General Hospital,” and The Oscar Host.

The “Backlash Proof” Award: Ron Swanson, “Parks and Recreation”

The “Eat Your Heart Out, Geekboys” Award: Emilia Clarke, “Game of Thrones”

The “You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means” Award: Zack Snyder, “Sucker Punch”

The Most Compelling Reason To Subscribe To BBC America, Female Edition: Karen Gillan, “Doctor Who”

The Most Compelling Reason To Subscribe To BBC America, Male Edition: Idris Elba, “Luther”

The “You Weren’t As Popular As You Thought Nelson Ha Ha Laugh” Award: Kevin James, The Dilemma, Zookeeper

The “We Can’t Hate You Even If Your TV Show Is An Embarassment to America” Award: Melissa McCarthy, “Mike and Molly,” “Saturday Night Live,” Bridesmaids

The Gift That Keeps On Givens: Timothy Olyphant “Justified”

The I Knew You Had It In You Award: Matthew McConaughey, The Lincoln Lawyer

The “Surly, Temperamental Overly Sensitive Genius” Award (Tie) Dan Harmon, “Community,” and Kurt Sutter, “Sons of Anarchy”

The “Baby Got Back” Award: Tom Hardy, Warrior and The Dark Knight Rises Viral Marketing Campaign

The “It Turns Out We Like You Better As A Cartoon” Award: Johnny Depp, Rango and not The Rum Diary or Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

The “Quickly Wasted All of Her Oscar Capital” Award: Natalie Portman, Your Highness, No Strings Attached, Thor

The “James Franco/Jude Law Omnipresent” Award: Ryan Gosling, Everything

Cock Of The Walk: Michael Fassbender, Shame

The “Christina Hendricks Rack of the Year” Award: Alison Brie, “Community”

Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

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Comments

Whoa Paula Patton!

Y'know the wife is wanting to see Mission Impossible so as a good husband I suddenly think I'll take her. Just cuz I love her. The wife I mean.

Posted by: logan at December 30, 2011 3:15 PM

Um, you know I love you guys, right?

BreathE a sigh ...

Good god, that dude from The Artist really is Gene Kelly re-incarnate, isn't he? I have GOT to see that movie ...

Posted by: Samantha at December 30, 2011 3:19 PM

Oh, Tate, you can brood up on me any time. Legally!

Also, I think the "Surly, Temperamental Overly Sensitive Genius Award" couldn't possibly have gone to two more deserving recipients.

Posted by: MM at December 30, 2011 3:22 PM

The Most Compelling Reason To ~~Subscribe~~ End One's Subscription To BBC America, Female Edition: Karen Gillan, “Doctor Who”

There, now I agree.

Posted by: Todd at December 30, 2011 3:25 PM

Whether I'm right or not, I choose to believe that Matthew McConaughey is rocking a goddamn Q-Ray Bracelet in that photo.

Posted by: Melodie at December 30, 2011 3:25 PM

You have to admit Michael Fassbender is truly something. He's got the body of a Greek god and he's an amazing actor. My God, look at that perfectly arched back.....uhmmmmm, wiping dribble from my chin, sorry.

Posted by: Julie at December 30, 2011 3:25 PM

I've come to the conclusion that that shot/sometimes gif, of Alison's rack is the most used picture of her. But where is it from? (seriously guys, this is driving me nuts)

Posted by: PG13 at December 30, 2011 3:27 PM

The Most Compelling Reason To End One's Subscription To BBC America

It's not necessary.

Posted by: Jay at December 30, 2011 3:27 PM

Ordinarily I object to objectification, but that picture of Michael Fassbender just made my bender fass, so I'll be over here in my HYPOCRITICAL SHAME.

Posted by: Craig at December 30, 2011 3:29 PM

Hypocritical shame is so tingly!

Posted by: MM at December 30, 2011 3:32 PM

So which of the two found Huntington-Whitely photogenic?

Posted by: Jay at December 30, 2011 3:33 PM

PG13:

http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/hot_sluts_102/

You're welcome.

Also, episode 5 is the source for the gif of her dancing in the gold hotpants.

Posted by: kushiro at December 30, 2011 3:45 PM

Hmmm, that "Fish Tank" pic of Fasshlong... I imagine nobody is bothered that he was flirting with his girlfriend's 16yo daughter right then? Still checking out the biceps? That's alright, you're only human.

Posted by: Irina at December 30, 2011 3:46 PM

Luke Evans is the hot version of JGL.

Posted by: jzhz at December 30, 2011 3:46 PM

#MinorCorrection it's "Jean Dujardin" in The Artist.

Posted by: Jim at December 30, 2011 3:49 PM

Hey todd, I think you're the smartest person here.

Posted by: captainfireypants at December 30, 2011 4:06 PM

Paula Patton's thighs, hips, and waist make me want to become a better man.

Posted by: maka at December 30, 2011 4:12 PM

Great. Now my search history includes the term 'hot sluts'. Again.

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at December 30, 2011 4:13 PM

@Kushiro: Thank you sir! You're too kind :o)

Posted by: PG13 at December 30, 2011 4:23 PM

"The Most Underappreciated Hottie of the Year: Female Edition: Paula Patton"

I'm not sure I agree here. I was appreciating so much that I was escorted from the screening of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol that I was in.

Buncha damn prudes in this town.

Posted by: Groundloop at December 30, 2011 4:33 PM

Not sure what "The Christoph Waltz One-and-Done" means, but if this guy's as cool as Christoph Waltz, then sign me up!

Posted by: ChristianH at December 30, 2011 4:40 PM

also, no butthole of the year?

Posted by: maka at December 30, 2011 4:54 PM

Luke Evans and Michael Fassbender need to eat sandwiches. Like yesterday.

Posted by: Jerry at December 30, 2011 4:59 PM

The Most Underappreciated Hottie of the Year: Male Edition: Luke Evans, The Three Musketeers, Immortals

so true!

Posted by: Sarah at December 30, 2011 5:15 PM

Yeah! Helena Bonham Carter! Is there anyone better? I think not! ;)

Posted by: Anna at December 30, 2011 5:26 PM

Not one African American male or female was able to make the list, maybe you’re just not that into us.

Posted by: Pookie at December 30, 2011 5:33 PM

Robin Thicke is a lucky, lucky, lucky man. Then again if he sang to me like that...oh my.

Posted by: daria at December 30, 2011 5:42 PM

Pookie, you're right, because Stringer Bell was sooooo white.

Posted by: ChristianH at December 30, 2011 5:51 PM

Dayum. I didn't think anything was gonna top that header pic...and then, Natalie.

Well played, clerks.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at December 30, 2011 5:54 PM

Pookie- Does Idris Elba not count?

Posted by: Delilah at December 30, 2011 6:10 PM

"The Most Underappreciated Hottie of the Year: Female Edition: Paula Patton"

I go way back to Idlewild and pre-marriage with Ms. Patton. Welcome aboard the train.

Posted by: Fredo at December 30, 2011 6:13 PM

Is the proper term "African-Englishman"?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 30, 2011 6:24 PM

Pookie, you're right, because Stringer Bell was sooooo white.

Posted by: ChristianH at December 30, 2011 5:51 PM
______

Read my post again, Chris. Then tell me what part of African American male don’t you understand. In fact let me go online and see if I can find an African American male that goes by the last name Elba. Hmmmmm, that’s strange, no hits. I’m just joking Chris, I’m just having a little fun with this post. Idris Elba is pajiba’s go to black guy when they need a black guy for illustration purposes. Just like Zoe Saldana is pajiba’s go to black girl, even though her mother is Puerto Rican and her father is Dominican. But hey, close enough I guess.

Posted by: Pookie at December 30, 2011 6:25 PM

What the fuck is wrong with this Russell Brand guy? Is he really going to divorce that Katy Perry broad? The bazookas on that woman, good god!, man did not create those. Oh no, those were created by a higher power. You can’t get those on Rodeo Drive. The only way I’ll be able to accept that divorce is that this guy is about to come out.

Posted by: Pookie at December 30, 2011 6:42 PM

Jean Dujardin is totally awesome. I haven't seen The Artist yet, it is definitly on the list. He is awesome in the OSS 117 movies, if you like funny slapstick type stuff. Think funny Austin Powers but with a hot French dude. SO much better.

Posted by: MRod at December 30, 2011 7:05 PM

Posted by: Pookie at December 30, 2011 6:42 PM

I figured I could overlook her singing for the conjugal benefits, unfortunately, her vocal chords don't shut off in the sack.

Posted by: Russel Brand at December 30, 2011 7:57 PM

I figured I could overlook her singing for the conjugal benefits, unfortunately, her vocal chords don't shut off in the sack.

Posted by: Russel Brand at December 30, 2011 7:57 PM

I figured I could overlook his troll-ish appearance and manner for the conjugal benefits, unfortunately, his drug-addled junk DOES shut off in the sack.

Posted by: Katy Perry at December 30, 2011 9:10 PM

Boobs. I'm a big fan.

Posted by: The Mutt at December 30, 2011 10:36 PM

I agree with Pookie about the lack of diversity. Idris Elba has become the go-to person of color for Pajiba.

Posted by: severine at December 30, 2011 10:55 PM

Does that mean we can start calling Idris Elba 'Token'?

Posted by: John G. at December 30, 2011 11:17 PM

Also, how come the wonderful Jessica Chastain doesn't get a mention? She's given better performances and been in better movies this year than Fassbender. Wonderful revelation in "The Tree of Life" and "Take Shelter" and she along with Viola Davis saved "The Help".

Posted by: severine at December 31, 2011 12:47 AM

HELLO

Posted by: Protoguy at December 31, 2011 1:20 AM

That's right severine, we're not taking this crap anymore.

Attica!
Attica!
Attica!

Posted by: Pookie at December 31, 2011 6:50 AM

The header picture, and Paula Patton, inspired me to google these Tim Minchin-lyrics...

Fuck I love boobs though, I just really love them
Fuck I love boobs though, I just wanna rub them
They're just so jooby, they make me feel groovy
I would rather watch boobs than a movie
Be doop be doo.
I just really like boobs.

Posted by: Rooks at December 31, 2011 8:44 AM

Wrong right off the bat:

Olivia Wilde, "Cowboys and Aliens"

Discredits the entirety of your list.

Posted by: , at December 31, 2011 9:45 AM

Girl and boy token! Thank you, Pookie.

Posted by: jzhz at December 31, 2011 10:41 AM

The things I would do to Paula Patton....

...Take her out to a nice dinner, maybe a walk in the park. Woo her with my witty banter, classy-like.

I'm kinda bummed to learn she's married, because I clearly had a chance.

Posted by: enon at December 31, 2011 11:57 AM

I have that bra. It's 80% padding.

Posted by: Austin at January 1, 2012 12:36 AM

Well Puala WAS the best part of Mission Impossible but sadly I almost feel asleep watching it. It was boring and stupid I realize that's just the Thetans talking but really folks wait for it on Netflix.

Posted by: logan at January 1, 2012 9:47 AM

Crude but accurate scientifically accurate formula of the year:- Paula Patton = Stupid Hot

One look (ONE LOOK!!!) and you transform from a suave, worldly, thinking man's man into a slobbering, gibbering mess aka a Rick Perry soundbite (if brevity is your thing)... she is that hot.

Posted by: Colombo at January 2, 2012 3:26 AM

Isn't that Alison Brie photo two or three years old?

Posted by: csb at January 2, 2012 11:18 AM

Re: Natalie Portman. Calling her out for those shitty movies is unfair because she made those either right after or before she did Black Swan so how the fuck could she tell they would suck.

And your collective spazz record is for shit so you don;t have any right to be calling anyone out for supposedly 'bad' choices they make in what roles they took.

Now tell Grandma to get back to sucking me off.

Posted by: Snackpit at January 2, 2012 1:31 PM

@Snackpit: How could she tell those movies would suck?

The script?

That it's got Ashton Kutcher in it?

That it's a Marvel movie that's not Iron Man?

Hell, even I knew that those three movies would suck balls when I read the pre-release blurbs and I'm not the Harvard graduate!

Posted by: cupcakes at January 3, 2012 5:56 AM

Milf in action. Please visit www.worldofbestporn.com

Posted by: Andrew Pelt at January 4, 2012 10:29 PM

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Pajiba's People of the Year: 2011 Edition

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