On Her 27th Birthday, We Celebrate Slobbermouth Johansson's Luscious Smackhole
On the occasion of her 27th birthday, I thought we’d take a moment before the holidays and bask in Scarlett Johansson’s greatest asset, arguably the most recognizable pair of lips in America. And how versatile they are! They can pout! They can sulk! They can mope! They can also pout. And also sulk. As Maxim once wrote when Johansson topped Angelina Jolie in their sexist woman list, “This proves that lips are the new cleavage.”
I have no idea what that means, but if I were Johannson, I might look into a lip bra. Tom Hardy is wearing one now, and I think it’d look great on Scarlett. It would also collect all that excess drool.
Happy Birthday, Scarlett.
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