By Daniel Carlson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (33)
5. Antichrist
4. The Hottie and the Nottie
3. Schindler’s List
2. Goodfellas
1. The Accused
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Posted by: BWeaves at May 28, 2009 3:02 PM
Hahahaha, this just made my day.
Posted by: Marcela at May 28, 2009 3:07 PM
I am hereby calling for a adaptation of Romero's zombie films into a Broadway show.
George A. Romero's "Jazz Hands of the Living Dead"
Posted by: Snath at May 28, 2009 3:12 PM
Um, the Accused would make a BRILLIANT Broadway show.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at May 28, 2009 3:21 PM
Halfway there, Snath. The new musical Tea Time of the Dead opens here in Chicago this fall, loosely adapted from the film Shawn of the Dead.
Posted by: Jim Doggie at May 28, 2009 3:22 PM
Cannibal Holocaust.
Posted by: Julie at May 28, 2009 3:29 PM
Hamlet 2
Posted by: chayes at May 28, 2009 3:41 PM
-Salo
-Requiem For A Dream
-Slingblade
-The Exorcist
-The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
-Misery
-Riding The Bus With My Sister
-Deliverance
Posted by: scorzi at May 28, 2009 3:42 PM
Koyaanisqatsi?
Posted by: sansho1 at May 28, 2009 3:52 PM
spiderman....
oh wait
superman
darn....
Posted by: badalamenti at May 28, 2009 3:59 PM
Some Broadway producer is going to read this and think this is a dare. And then we'd all have you to blame.
Posted by: carolyn at May 28, 2009 4:01 PM
I am hereby calling for a adaptation of Romero's zombie films into a Broadway show.
First of all, Snath, there are multiple Night of the Living Dead musicals. I saw one that ended with Bush being ripped apart by zombies.
Second of all, I think all of these films would work as plays:
--Antichrist would never get to NYC, like the too violent to be accepted Lovecraft adaptation war that occured a few years ago.
--The Hottie and the Nottie would be Off-Off Broadway starring two drag queens with plenty of ironic musical numbers.
--Schindler's List would shutter before it opened because the producers couldn't force it to be cheery enough for Broadway.
--Goodfellas would be the acclaimed smart musical that shutters two months after it's [last eligibility date] Tony-baiting release as a ploy to have life in regional theater.
--The Accused would run about a year and a half and give an up and comer who was allegedly robbed of Tony nods her first nod and win before an American Idol cast-off (Diana Degarmo?) gets "ZOMGZ she can sing? WTFityF? reviews like Constantine "Tony Nominee" Maroulis or Fantasia "No Show" Barrino.
You need to pick on films like Eraserhead or The Idiots to really find un-adaptable material. These were all too conventional.
Posted by: Robert at May 28, 2009 4:32 PM
"The Aristocrats"
Though I'd pay whatever necessary to see it.
Posted by: Spender at May 28, 2009 4:51 PM
Dear lord scorzi those are some FU&KED up movies you've got listed! I'd never heard of Salo or "The Heart"...wish I hadn't looked them up!
Posted by: Be Adequite! at May 28, 2009 4:53 PM
"Sweet Movie"
No way, no how.
Posted by: superasente at May 28, 2009 5:52 PM
"The Fast Runner"? ... Actually, never mind. I can see all sorts of Disney-esque touches to the stage show on this one. And a character screaming, "Atanaaaarjuuaaaaaat" would completely work...
Posted by: Why?? at May 28, 2009 5:53 PM
...And yet Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" was a smash hit on stage as "Evil Dead: The Musical" No, really I'm not making this up.
Posted by: bleujayone at May 28, 2009 5:57 PM
I'd say Road Warrior. That final chase scene would be tough to pull off....
Posted by: Odnon at May 28, 2009 6:01 PM
What about Army of Darkness: The Musical?
Would that not work?
Posted by: Fredo at May 28, 2009 6:50 PM
This just shows what you philistines know about legit theater. All of these could work on stage - maybe not on broadway. But when I've seen Corey Feldman onstage as "Michael Douglas" in Fatal Attraction (that's Michael Douglas - not the character Douglas played), when The 39 Steps is now on broadway as a 4 character comedy, hell, even Carrie was once on Broadway, any of these could work.
I could totally see Schindler's List on the Great White Way. The long conversations between Schinlder and the German Officer? A cast of 16 men and women filling in as the hundreds of Jews?
You guys - seriously - you film fans with no sense of how other art forms work belittle Broadway as the blandest of entertainments. There is a lot more there.
Posted by: Withnail at May 28, 2009 7:35 PM
Why only 16 men and women? Would 17 just push it over the edge???
Posted by: Be Adequite! at May 28, 2009 8:02 PM
You have to think of the economics of broadway. Of course, probably right now it's harder to stage a bigger show than a smaller one. this is why, now, there are a lot of smaller plays. As opposed to bigger musicals.
the new big musical of the year is Next To Normal. 6 family members on stage.
As opposed to a couple of years ago, Spring Awakening, one of the greatest things I've seen, with about 16 singing kids on stage.
Posted by: withnail at May 28, 2009 9:10 PM
Loved Spring Awakening! I just saw it in Boston with the Broadway across America tour. Simulated sex, boobs, ass and all. So.... no, sex is not a reason to keep a show off-stage.
Posted by: Ariel at May 28, 2009 9:20 PM
A friend and I went to the Santa Fe Opera a few years back. They were performing, without any humor or irony, a staged adaptation of Dead Man Walking. We were laughing so hard, they almost had to throw us out of the theater.
Posted by: Trampy at May 28, 2009 9:36 PM
Your suggestion of The Accused brings back memories of "It feels like I've been Raped in the Face" from Hamlet 2. God, now I need a shower.
I think a musical version of Cannibal Holocaust or Salo would be particularly tasteless, especially if made for dinner theater. And on a similar vein, apparently someone beat me to the punch and did a musical of Silence of the Lambs. I was devastated when I read that.
Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at May 28, 2009 10:00 PM
Although this isn't 100% true, when I think of Broadway I think of something with jazz hands and cheesy smiles, that's why I gave the horrific films I did. Children being sodomized and forced to eat human feces like in "Salo" just doesn't give a sun-shiny feeling to tourists.
Posted by: scorzi at May 28, 2009 11:07 PM
Triumph of the Will
Posted by: SaBrina at May 29, 2009 12:48 AM
My dad always jokes that they should turn the South Park movie into a stage production since it's already a musical. Let's pray that one stays a joke.
Posted by: UncivilizedMike at May 29, 2009 2:55 AM
My brain just exploded a bit over the fact the one list could include both "The Hottie and the Nottie" AND "Schindler's List".
Posted by: Patty O'Green at May 29, 2009 9:25 AM
You know, I would say 8 1/2 would never work on Broadway, but apparently, I would be wrong.
Posted by: McSnarkster at May 29, 2009 2:50 PM
I don't care whether they can or cannot be adapted but the fact that you put Schindler's List and Goodfellas in the same list with The Hottie And The Nottie makes me cry. I can't comment about the Broadway bit because I cannot get over this.
Posted by: barf at May 29, 2009 5:38 PM
fight club!
the exorcist!
seven!
jaws!
every hanneke movie!
Posted by: caro at May 30, 2009 10:33 AM
I never thought it would happen, but they are making a musical of The Heathers... with Kristin Bell. It is either going to be totally phenomenal, or suck so hard I'll be given the urge to purge.
Posted by: Lena at July 16, 2009 11:49 PM
You left out "I Spit On Your Grave."