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Mindhole Blowers: What The Male Cast of "Game of Thrones" Looks Like Without Facial Hair

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | March 26, 2013 | Comments ()


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Facial hair matters. It matters a lot in a show like "Game of Thrones" where everyone is supposed to look grizzled and bad-ass. Sometimes a clean-shaven guy just can't pull off bad ass. If you were ever skeptical of the science behind women being more attracted to men with beards, a quick glance through this post should dispel that skepticism. To put it kindly, most "Game of Thrones" characters without their beards look like goobers. This is why, fellas, once you grow a beard, you never go back. Your face can't sustain the trauma. It's just too weird.

Hell, Iain Glen doesn't even sport that much facial hair in "Game of Thrones" but I didn't even realize he was the guy from "Downton Abby" until today.

Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy)

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Iain Glen (Ser Jorah Mormont)

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Kit Harington (Jon Snow)

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Aiden Gillen (Little Finger)

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Richard Madden (Robb Stark)

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Jereme Flynn (Bronn)

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Reverse Twist: Conleth Hill (Lord Varys)

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Rory McCann (Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane)

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Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jamie Lanister)

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Ron Donachie (Ser Rodrik Cassel)

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Julian Glover (Grand Maester Pycelle)

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Kristian Nairn (Hodor)

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Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister)

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John Bradley (Samwell Tarly)

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Joe Dempsie (Gendry)

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Jason Momoa (Khal Drago)

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Gethin Anthony (Renley Baratheon)

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Mark Addy (Robert Baratheon)

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Liam Cunningham (Ser Davos Seaworth)

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Tom Wlaschiha (Jaqen H'ghar )

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Clive Mantle (Greatjon Umber)

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • General Veers (Julian Glover) from Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is in Game Of Thrones!? One word: AWESOME!!!

  • TFBC

    If you're going to include Jamie Lannister on this list, why wouldn't you just include a picture from, I don't know, SEASON ONE!

  • Wolf

    I want to see the picture of Cersei with a beard!

  • bina

    pycelle is donovan of indiana jones and the last crusade. didn`t recocnise him

  • bob

    ...they dont all have facial hair though

  • aj

    First of all some of the pictures of the actors without beards are a lot older. And second of all some of them look drastically better without them anyway. Not the blobby looking fellow though...he could use lipo on that gullet.

  • Max

    Wow, so Littlefinger was doing Jax Teller all those years ago ...

  • savesuccessful

    Jason Momoa is the most handsome muthafuka alive; i hate him.

  • ImTheNana

    Jerome Flynn, not Jereme

  • Franki

    I don't know what you're on, but the ones that were good-looking with beards are HOT without them.

  • Morgan_LaFai

    I would argue that the dirt. blood, and scars transforms the pictured individuals, as do the leather, fur, jewelry, and crowns. The beard is part of it, but it isn't all of it.

  • derp

    Way to... misspell a few names and purposefully find unflattering pictures of the ones YOU don't think are attractive.

  • Seems weird to include Jamie Lannister in this list. He normally keeps himself clean shaven when he's not a prisoner. But hey, porn for women, do what you like. Rock on, my friends.

  • littlealbotross

    I thought I didn't like facial hair...I think I was wrong. Everyone looks smarmy and way too young sans the facial hair. Except for Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, he is just sexy. I now need to repress pictures of these men without facial hair. They must remain bad ass and sexy inside my head.

  • Caitlyn Bethke

    Wow. Some of them look so young! And Jason Momoa - I still can't tell it's the same person! Also, Tom Wlaschiha is *hot* - but I'm preferring the Jaqen hair :P

  • John Bradley looking a bit... odd.

  • Wicked

    :O I said the same thing.

  • MissAmynae

    oh thank you for this today.

    Littlefinger, Jaqen, Tywin, Mormont, Madden....delish either way. Wlaschiha is uncomfortably, disturbingly, squirming-in-your-chair-ingly compellingly sensual. Not hot or sexy...just pure unfh.

  • Lovezoid

    I think the reverse of this rule is equally true for the women of Game of Thrones. But no need for the photos thanks.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    You could have chosen a bazillion more lovely pictures for Tom Wlaschiha! You have saddened my vagina this morn, Pajiba.

  • Strand

    Funny. There was a little article in the local paper yesterday about Clive Mantle getting into a fight and having his ear bitten off which sounds exactly like the sort of thing an Umber would do.

    So many magnificent lantern jaws.

  • Zen

    Oh man, that gif of Richard Madden's dancing eyebrows; you could sell shampoo or cosmetics with them. Maybe it's Madden... maybe it's Maybelline.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    You're out of your mind, most of those men look better without beards.

  • Ben

    Little finger goes from looking like a douche fucker, to god damm he's hot. Just by shaving that fucking goatie. This should be a lesson to everyone, goaties are never the answer.

  • ehn

    Little Finger (GOD! It's enough to make ANYONE evil) is yummy in real life.

  • cicatricella

    somehow I think I had missed seeing a pic of Jason Momoa sans facial hair before. Helllloooooo NURSE!

  • e jerry powell

    Well, everybody knows I prefer me some hairy-faced menzes, so...

  • Coster-Waldau and Josh Hutcherson should have a face-angles off. Whoever wins, we all lose when the inevitable polygonal singularity results.

  • PDamian

    Iain Glen and Aiden Gillen look like corporate raiders in those photos.

    And Jason Momoa is killing my ladyparts.

  • Yocean

    Okay. So weird Tom Wlaschina story. When I lived in San Francisco and had a spiky bleached-to-smithereens blond hair, I played an extra in an German indie gay film about a scientist's son, played by the Man, who comes to San Francisco to prove his late father's theory that HIV virus was created to kill gay people, and man somehow get physically involved with an operatic gay serial killer. I can't make this thing up people. The movie is called No One Sleeps (or Nesson DormA from a Turandot) sone and I am in the same sex club scene. Anyways, I got two free lunches out if it and man lined up next me for food once. He was Un-assuming nice guy. That's all.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    He was incredibly sexy in GoT, does he have that same appeal in real life?

  • Yocean

    He was pretty young back then but was kinda sexy in frail twinky way I guess. He had a nice seriousness about him. Good actor all around.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I'm always disappointed to hear that appealing actors are child-size. Not that I'd ever meet them, but the idea of towering over someone that plays an efficient killing machine is a little disconcerting. Jeremy Renner, I'm looking at you.

  • That Presidential

    Jaqen H'gar was like the baddest dude last season for the lil time that he was on.

  • That Presidential

    LMAO Joe Dempsie looks like Spencer from iCarly.

  • Maggie Smith

    While I am not complaining one bit about the shirtless baby Jason Momoa image, I think this one is a Far better representation of him now and without facial hair.

    http://www.hollywood.com/news/...

    Also, this one, because that teeny tiny flavor saver barely counts.

    http://www.listal.com/viewimag...

  • Mrs. Julien

    God bless you and all you serve. He looks like he walked out a romance novel for pete's sake.

  • Shazza

    He's looking a little like Chris Hemsworth there in the first pic and Mama likes....

  • lowercase_ryan

    Sam has the most disconcertingly disproportionate face ever. WTF I would swear that is photoshopped.

    Also, Varys with a penis, who knew?

  • Kballs

    Looks like Hodor found his local Olan Mills studio . . . in 1984. Yeesh.

  • Slash

    Most of them look fine without a beard. Younger, mostly. That's what a beard does: makes the wearer look somewhat mature (growing facial hair being a mostly adult milestone). And on the chunky ones, it can disguise a couple of the chins.

  • BWeaves

    YES!~

    Hubby has an overbite and no chin, and the beard definitely makes him look better. I'm not wild about the scratchy kisses, but he certainly looks better.

    But it has to be trimmed. Manicured. Clean. Homeless beard is not sexy.

  • Blake

    I'm looking for to the womens addition of " What The Male Cast of "Game of Thrones" Looks Like Without Facial Hair"?

  • Pants_are_a_must

    As a ladyperson who likes men, I am not a fan of the beards, and therefore do not subscribe to this ludicrous little theory. You don't need to justify your mancrushes, Dustin.

  • Uriah_Creep

    BUT HE WANTS YOU TO UNDERSTAND!!

  • PerpetualIntern

    JUST put it together that Littlefinger was on Queer as Folk. Took getting rid of the facial hair for me to get it.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    And he was the CIA agent Bane kicked the shit out of in the prologue of TDKR. This guy gives good mindfuck.

  • We had a total "Wait wait wait is that--wait, what? NOOO!" moment in the theater when we watched TDKR. I'm sure we annoyed our seat neighbors.

  • Wicked

    Is it me or the guy that plays Samwell(John Bradley) looks... um. I dunno if I can put it correctly.

  • BWeaves

    A puffer fish?

  • Rico

    Pobresito

  • Oh god, thanks a bunch, I just spilled everything over the laptop.

  • Monica

    Un-Hodor's shirt. I just can't.

  • Aaron Schulz

    Khal drogo goes from super awesome badass Khal to a werewolf from twilight

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'll give you a reverse - just rewatched Stardust and an unrecognizable Henry Cavill plays the simpering Sir Humphrey. (couldn't find a pic though)

  • Whoa. Talk about unrecognizable.

  • Maggie Smith

    Holy Shit! I had no idea!

    http://www.geeksofdoom.com/201...

  • F'mal DeHyde

    He's got a little Garret Dillahunt going on there.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I know - I caught the flick on Showtime this weekend when I should've been cleaning - and his name came up in the end credits - my mind, she was boggled.

  • A. Smith

    and the final two brothers Primus and Septimus were in Kick-Ass

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Septimus is Mark Strong. He's in lots of stuff - Sherlock Holmes the movie and stuff. He is a stone cold fox.

  • A. Smith

    Agreed

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Basically, if you have a strong jawline, you'll be fine either way. (though in some cases, bangs will help)

  • John W

    Holy shit some of those are jarring.

  • Cherith Cutestory

    beardless john bradley bears an uncanny resemblance to william hung

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Jaqen is a fox regardless of his beard (or face). He's just that badass.

  • PDamian

    Indeed. A man has no need of facial hair to look like a badass, but a man can rock a beard like only a badass can.

  • $27019454

    Is Clive Mantle "Simon" from Vicar of Dibley?

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Yes indeed - he wooed the vicar. Which, sadly, is not a metaphor.

  • FrayedMachine

    nONE OF FTHIS IS OKAY. Why does this exist. THIS IS NOT OKAY. They all should keep their facial hair. This is an official ruling and none shall over turn it.

  • JJ

    How is this list not just Renly standing there without
    Margaery?

  • think4yourself

    Bravo Sir, bravo.

  • LateReaction

    Five minutes later and I'm still laughing. LOL

  • Natallica

    I lol'd

  • koko temur

    on unrelated note, do you guys think there is just a barrel of grease on set?

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Yes there is, also that is a VERY SOUGHT AFTER JOB.

  • "Step right over here for yer mud and grease!"

  • Laura

    I prefer my Gendry with facial hair, for sure.

  • Yeah, what the hell was that?! I'm sure that's one he'll always regret. If not, well, I just can't...

  • DominaNefret

    Isn't that beardless shot one of him in character as Chris?
    Ohmygod, I can't handle even thinking about Chris. He is one of my top 5 favorite television characters ever.

    I'm loving Gendry too, but not as much as I love Chris. The mud and scruff do help separate the two some.

  • jessb83

    I think my love for Gendry is that much more because of Chris. I've never cried that hard over a character.

  • disqus_N4EigheiZo

    That picture is at least 6 years old, not that I've been keeping regular tabs on him or anything.

  • fluff_fluff

    I think it's more the lack of stoner wear and addition of a bunch of abs than the facial hair (BUT NO COMPLAINTS).

  • melissa82

    He looks very young without it (he's only 5 years younger than me...it can happen, right?) and it makes me feel creepy...

  • TS

    But surely the most important thing to say is that Clive Mantle had part of his ear bitten off! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-e...

  • pajiba

    Yes. I wrote about it on Uproxx yesterday, which was the impetus for the post. I was looking up pictures for the header and I was like WOAH, that's not the guy from GoT.

  • Trevorsmom

    I've been crushing on Charles Dance for years. Beard or no beard, in front of or behind the camera or with a pen in his hand. Love that man!

  • DataAngel

    Jason Momoa looks good no matter what. True story.

  • Kathleen Allen

    ah rory...makes me want to revisit 'the book group'. big mahn kenny!

  • pumpkin

    I don't watch Game of Thrones, but I might have to start now that I know Rory McCann is in it. I just watched The Book Group start to finish again.

  • Holy Jeebus, Richard Madden is fucking ADORABLE.

    I think I'd been so fixated on being annoyed by Robb Stark that I didn't realize how goddamn adorable he is. And now the crush is growing most dangerously. I think it's the hair. The haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiir....

    Also: HOLY SHIT that's what The Hound looks like?! Shave that shit and Sansa's gonna be all over you, buddy.

    And this article is further proof that more men should have beards. It raises the attractiveness level by like 78%*.

    *Not scientific.

  • asherlev1

    You should watch Sirens!!!

  • JoannaRobinson

    What til you hear Richard Madden's Scottish accent (if you haven't already.) It's amazing.

  • That was when i realised he would have to marry me.

  • Bedewcrock

    Best Youtube search decision ALL DAY

  • Right? I just used up like two hours.

  • Oh.

    Oh. Oh, my.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Right? Robb Stark, so boring. Richard Madden? HOOTS MON.

  • Even so, the TV Robb Stark is markedly better than the book Robb Stark. Still underwritten and not necessarily given much to do other than 'attempt to be King-like; rinse and repeat' while other things happen. "I don't want to marry the Frey girl," works.

  • I CAN'T EVEN.

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