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Is This Real Life? Meta-Dream Casting Arrested Development: The Movie in "Arrested Development"

By Rob Payne | Seriously Random Lists | July 16, 2013 | Comments ()


This Spring, after years of pining and hoping and incessant interview questions of its cast and crew, the much-beloved but little-watched “Arrested Development” TV show returned with a new season to entertain many of its fans (and befuddle many more). Naturally, almost as soon as the Internet watched all of the Netflix produced season 4, speculation about a possible season 5 had already commenced — not to mention speculation about what the latest season meant, or how it all added up. History often repeats, so it isn’t surprising that, of course, everyone involved in AD absolutely wants to make more… but it’s really up to the actors’ schedules to make it happen. And, thus, we are convicted to spend another half-decade or so wondering when the continuation, or culmination, of the Bluth clan’s epic fail will actually, if ever, happen.

Unlike last time out, though, creator and showrunner Mitch Hurwitz (along with his writer’s room) crafted a sort of non-ending to season 4 that allows those watching at home to better envision where the story could go next. After season 3 concluded with a fairly decent series capper that reversed almost everything from season 1’s pilot episode, too many balls were up in the air to get a sense of how the Bluths could reconnect to continue their tragicomic story. But season 4’s ending isn’t even really that, it’s just a stopping point in this chapter of that ongoing story, so it seems relatively easy to bet that season 5 would have to deal with the emotional fall-out between Michael and George Michael, Lindsay’s political contest against Sally Sitwell, GOB’s burgeoning life as a gay magician, Buster’s unlikely involvement in Lucille 2’s disappearance, whatever George Sr. and Lucille 1 were doing with that wall on the U.S./Mexico border, and, finally, the movie adaptation of their lives that Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are determined to finally bring to the silver screen.

It’s that last bit that concerns us here. It would be all too easy to go the Nightmare Casting route I did with “Firefly” last year, a joke that “Arrested Development” is too good to make. Plus, why would Howard and Grazer, two perennial Oscar contenders, make a hackjob with Charlie Sheen starring as GOB? No, in the show, at least, they are Hollywood players who want taller offices than Michael Bay’s next door, and the best way they can ensure that is an awards season darling. And, thus, season 5 on Netflix (or elsewhere) should be littered with A-list cameos, huge stars popping up in the background of random episodes, in character as the metatextually dramatized Bluth family. Without further ado, here are the heavy hitters I’d like to see — especially if season 5 never happens because the cast can’t get their ducks in a row and a “real” movie were to be made in their place. Enjoy!

Arrested Development: Maybe as a Movie?
Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Ewan McGregor as Michael Bluth*

Naomi Watts as Lindsay Bluth Funke

Liev Schreiber as GOB

Kodi Smit-McPhee as George Michael Bluth

Maisie Williams as Maeby Funke

Joaquin Phoenix as Byron “Buster” Bluth

Paul Giamatti as Tobias Funke

Jack Nicholson as George Bluth

Helen Mirren as Lucille Bluth

Dustin Hoffman as Barry Zuckerkorn

Meryl Streep as Lucille 2 (Austero)

Cate Blanchett as Sally Sitwell

Daniel Day-Lewis as Stan Sitwell

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Gene Parmesan

Idris Elba as Ice the Bounty Hunter

Diane Lane as Maggie Lizer

Elle Fanning as Ann Veal

RJ Mitte as Steve HOLT

Michelle Williams as Kitty Sanchez

Jack Nicholson as Oscar Bluth

and… Denzel Washington as Carl Weathers

Here’s the one-sheet mock-up, just in time for awards season:

* Apropos of nothing, did you know that if you transpose Ewan McGregor over Justin Bateman you then get John Barrowman?

Rob Payne also writes the comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter, tumbls on the Tumblr, and his wares can be purchased here. He would absolutely go see this movie.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • zeke_the_pig

    Joaquin as Buster is the most 'so batshit it's actually gone all the way through batshit and come out the other side on That Makes Sense' suggestion I've ever heard

  • James

    But that would require Michelle Williams to smile or just not to be depressing.

  • PerpetualIntern

    I...I don't understand. I cannot get on board with this. I love Mae Whitman and Tony Hale too much.

    Although, Helen Mirren is the only other person besides Jessica Walters who could do Lucille justice.

  • Cherith Quewstorrie

    anjelica huston

  • First thought when I read the title:

    Jude Law as GOB Bluth: http://i.imgur.com/aBJSZi7.jpg...

  • bcarter3

    Jesse Eisenberg as George Michael.

  • toblerone

    That one's too easy.

  • hater from siloam springs

    No. If you change Lucille 2, you ruin everything. just no.

  • What's the point of Lucille 2 if she's not Liza Minelli? I thought that was half the joke.

  • danielson

    I am curious
    How much would this hypothetical movie cause in terms of actors' salaries

  • brian

    200 million

  • toblerone

    They could work for scale.

  • emmalita

    Tony Hale is so Buster to me that I cannot imagine anyone else in that role.

  • Erin S

    "Almost everything from season 1’s pilot episode, too many balls were up in the air..."
    Well, thanks for getting the "Balls in the Air" song stuck in my head.

  • mairimba

    What are you doing Rob?! NO!

  • It's just my way, darling.

  • toblerone

    Why? NO.

    *James MacAvoy would my choice for Michael Bluth.

  • toblerone

    ** Cate Blanchett as Kitty Sanchez would be perfect.

  • toblerone

    *** Patrick Stewart as George Bluth.

  • My boyfriend and I still haven't finished season 4 (I'm sure we're the only ones, but insert obligatory spoiler complaint - COME ON!). We've been too busy, and the initial episodes were...lacking...so we haven't gotten back to it yet. And, we're both huge AD fans, which is sad.

  • SackBlabbath

    Don't let your hopes get too high.

  • Michelle

    I haven't yet finished it either! It's not that it's not good, it's just... different.

  • emmalita

    Keep going. It just gets funnier and funnier as the layers pile on.

  • zeke_the_pig

    By the time I got to GOB episode 11 the damn burst and I was drowning in funny

  • True_Blue

    Yes, it gets better (and funnier). I'm pacing myself and watching only 1 episode a sitting...I had to wait 5 years, so I want to savor it. Down to last 2 episodes--then I guess I have to go back to waiting (and watching old episodes).

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