Know Your Olivias

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (48)

There are a lot of Olivias in Hollywood these days, and while many of them are rising stars in movies and television, it’s still difficult for the novice to differentiate between all the Olivia’s. There’s the one on “The Daily Show,” the one in Tron, the one in Juno, and even the one that used to be in “The Wonder Years” who looks like Melissa George.

It’s all very confusing. And that’s why we here at Pajiba want to help you out with this very confusing matter by providing our Primer in Olivias. So, the next time someone says, “Wow! Olivia Wilde is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock,” you can refer to this post to find out if she’s the Olivia from Tron or the teacher in Rushmore.

We’re there for you.

Olivia Munn. Former Host, “Attack of the Show,” Current Correspondent on “The Daily Show” and star of the upcoming NBC series, “Perfect Couples.”

Olivia Wilde. Dr. Hadley on the Fox drama “House,” The Next Three Days,, Cowboys and Aliens and Tron.

Olivia Thirlby. Juno, “Bored to Death,” Solitary Man and the upcoming Judge Dredd remake, Dredd.

Olivia Williams. Rushmore, “Dollhouse,” Ghost Writer, and An Education.

Olivia d’Abo. “The Wonder Years.” “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.” A lot of animated comic-book movie voice work.

Olivia Newton John. 70s/80s pop singer, Grease, most recently “Glee.”

Olivia de Havilland. Gone with the Wind, Hold Back the Dawn, To Each His Own, My Cousin Rachel.

Olivia (the Pig). Star of a series of children’s books and an animated television series.

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Comments

Wilde's name on House is Dr. Hadley. And it took me a while to come up with that one (without cheating wtih IMDB) so I'm pretty sure I'm right. Also she has utterly spectacular eyes and wins this list hands down.

(Oops. I think I confused her character name for d'Abo's character name on "Law & Order." Or I'm just confused. So many Olivias! -- DR)

Posted by: TylerDFC at December 13, 2010 11:25 AM

TylerDFC is right. Also, she only ever goes by Thirteen on the show anyway.

Posted by: KatSings at December 13, 2010 11:30 AM

1. Isn't that picture of de Haviland from The Heiress when she was made to look dowdy. That hardly seems fair. Super cool detail: She's still alive. We Juliens recently tried to make a list of who was still around from Hollywood's golden age and both Misses DH and Fontaine are still kicking. Do you ever wonder what it's like to be Mickey Rooney, who is still alive and trotted out for events, and despite having once been the biggest star in the world, all anyone wants to talk to you about is Judy Garland? Can you blame them?

2. I will be spending my day calculating what portion of my allotted time in this mortal coil I would willingly shuffle off to resemble Olivia Williams.

3. Olivia! Do do do do do! Olivia!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 13, 2010 11:33 AM

I adore Olivia Williams. Aside from the fact she is classy and beautiful, she is also willing to send herself up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFEJstPBwvw

All the other Olivias you can keep...

Posted by: Simon at December 13, 2010 11:34 AM

to resemble Olivia Williams

I like the way you think.

And now you had to go and mention Joan and I'm gonna get all dreamy.

Posted by: Jay at December 13, 2010 11:35 AM

Incidentally, if you check out the deleted scenes on Royal Renenbaums, Olivia Williams has a very very brief role as Owen Wilson's wife.

Posted by: Simon at December 13, 2010 11:39 AM

Renenbaums?

I think the R & T keys must be too close together...or my fingers are getting fatter.

Posted by: Simon at December 13, 2010 11:40 AM

Damn. I thought this was going to be about the two Olivias on Fringe and how Pacey should have been able to tell them apart!

Posted by: An Atlantan at December 13, 2010 11:41 AM

Olivia de Havilland wins this list. Wilde is a happy second place.

I always thought Melanie was prettier than Scarlett...

Posted by: Gabs at December 13, 2010 11:43 AM

Swear to god I thought this was a post about Fringe.

Posted by: Damnyankees at December 13, 2010 11:44 AM

How can you mention Olivia d'Abo and leave out her magnum opus: "Conan the Destroyer"?

Posted by: Ned at December 13, 2010 11:46 AM

For a moment I thought "Know Your D'abos" might be fun, but it turns out that in 99% of the cases it's Olivia. Ouch.

Posted by: Jay at December 13, 2010 11:49 AM

How can you mention Olivia d'Abo and leave out her magnum opus: "Conan the Destroyer"?

Wilt Chamberlain cast as a barbarian sworn to protect a lady's maidenhead? Sweet, succulent irony smeared in total bullshit.

In the immortal words of Tom Sizemore, he would've "split her like a coconut" without a second thought. Then he'd bring her mom in for a 3-way while sexting her grandma*. Because he was an oversexed, self-absorbed, enormously insecure pussyhound, you see.

*The "mom" part wasn't Sizemore. That was aaaalllllll Kballs. *wink*

Posted by: Kballs at December 13, 2010 12:02 PM

Olivia Newton-John would win this in a landslide , if only you used a non-80's mullet photo.

Oh, and included a few bars from "Magic".

What? Shut up.

Posted by: No Pithy Name at December 13, 2010 12:03 PM

At first glance I thought this was about Fringe and the multiple copies of people there in. This was good - but honestly I'm disappointed it wasn't that.

Posted by: dulli1419 at December 13, 2010 12:04 PM

Yeah, I thought it was about 'Fringe', too. Probably because the latest ep was so good it's still resonating.

But hey, anything which includes a pic of Olivia Williams can't be all bad. She made 'Dollhouse' watchable for me.

Posted by: Tarn at December 13, 2010 12:20 PM

Each Olivia is a different color on the rainbow, all beautiful! Yay! And I agree Wilde's eyes are what do it, purty.

Posted by: e at December 13, 2010 12:43 PM

Olivia Thirlby in "The Wackness" just makes me siiigh. And twirl my hair a little.
Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 13, 2010 12:45 PM

How dare you refuse to acknowledge Olivia D'Abo's work in Conan the Moderately Entertaining Mess!

Grace Jones is currently sharpening her spear by spinning it in her vag like a pencil sharpener to punish you for your insolence.

Posted by: D-Day at December 13, 2010 12:52 PM

All the other Olivias you can keep...

Why, thank you. Ms. D'abo will accompany me home.

For a moment I thought "Know Your D'abos" might be fun, but...

I wonder if you did the same thing I always do, and got the D'abos confused with the Arquettes?

Posted by: Rykker at December 13, 2010 12:52 PM

Rowles,
Learn how to use an apostrophe properly, you moron.

Posted by: reanalyst at December 13, 2010 1:00 PM

1) Thirlby. The End.

2) Strike that: De Havilland, Thirlby. The End.

3) Posted by: reanalyst at December 13, 2010 1:00 PM
I will shove an apostrophe right up your ass, you self-righteous twit.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 13, 2010 1:25 PM

Let's make it easier

Olivia Wilde- The stunningly beautiful one

Olivia Munn- Butterface without a real talent for comedy

Olivia Newthon John - Grease

Other Olivias- irrelevant for now

Posted by: YesPlease at December 13, 2010 1:51 PM

I'm disappointed in you Mr. Rowles.
I thought this was going to be a snarky post along the lines of:

Here's how to tell all the new Olivias apart:

Olivia Munn: Distinguishing characteristic: Pink skin and Long brunette hair.

Olivia Wilde: Distinguishing characteristic: Pink skin and Long brunette hair.

Olivia Thirlby: Distinguishing characteristic: Pink skin and Long brunette hair.

Olivia Williams: Distinguishing characteristic: Pink skin and Long brunette hair.

Olivia D'Abo: Distinguishing characteristic: Voice over work, so you never see her hair, but she has pink skin.

Olivia the Pig: Distinguishing characteristic: Pink skin.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 13, 2010 2:02 PM

There are famous people named Olivia other than Olivia Newton John? Huh...

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at December 13, 2010 2:17 PM

BWeaves - You forgot to clarify which one has cloven hooves which are really kind of freaky when anthropomorphized on film.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 13, 2010 2:18 PM

I enjoyed this list.

I re-watched Conan The Destroyer recently. It truly is awful.

The actual most important credit of Olivia D'Abo: Kicking And Screaming.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 13, 2010 2:43 PM

I could look at that header pic for hours.

Wait -- crap on a cringle -- I have!

Posted by: RobP at December 13, 2010 3:08 PM

I refuse to acknowledge Olivia Munn, especially with Wilde running around being sexy and talented and smart and making straight women confused left and right.

Posted by: Cadet at December 13, 2010 3:42 PM

Olivia De Havilland also made a great airplane.
So suck on that, other, lesser Olivias!
It's true! I know, because I just made it up!
And I wouldn't lie to you!

Posted by: Odnon. at December 13, 2010 3:59 PM

I always get Olivia Wilde, Emily Blunt and Emma Stone mixed up.

Posted by: Vee at December 13, 2010 5:10 PM

Oh great, I forgot about Thirlby. Another damned generically-cute young brunette Olivia that I'm not going to be able to keep straight. Better bookmark this guide....

Posted by: meaux at December 13, 2010 5:25 PM

Hussey! Olivia Hussey! Was there anyone more beautiful ever than Olivia Hussey in "Romeo and Juliet"? I don't think so.

Posted by: Hussy at December 13, 2010 5:55 PM

Damn! I do like me some Olivia. Frack it I'll take Olivia the pig, with some mayo, lettuce, and tomato, on white toast.

Unless the Olivia from House wouldn't object to me spreading some mayo on her...

Posted by: John W at December 13, 2010 6:21 PM

Olivia Williams' character in Rushmore for the win.

Posted by: Brenton at December 13, 2010 6:38 PM

Does it make me wrong to want to bang the ever loving bejeezuz out of each one cept the dead one and the pig?

Posted by: clancys_daddy at December 13, 2010 8:16 PM

While that picture of Wilde is particularly fetching, I like both Thirlby and Munn better. I don't watch House or Chuck and admit Munn's not good at the physical humor which shows prominently in the Daily Show segments; but she's the wicked beauty with a clever mouth. Wilde seemed smart until I watched her on Real Time. She's cool and even with her contributions, but not impressively so. I'd be more impressed if the fine Cockburn stock from whence she came mashed their name with the name of their website, Counterpunch.org.

Who wouldn't want to read political commentary at a website called Cockpunchers.org?

Mrs. Appleby is megahot. Nowadays, I confuse her with Embeth Davidtz.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at December 13, 2010 11:10 PM

Here's a good way to remember who Olivia Wilde is: just think "wow! her head is gigantic! shit's WILD!" And ta-daa! Olivia Wilde.

You're welcome.

And oh, Melanie. Sigh.

Posted by: figgy at December 14, 2010 1:12 PM

I think it's the multi-Olivia thing, but I can't remember what Olivia Wilde looks like. And I know I can scroll up to see a picture, but by time I scroll back down I will have forgotten it again. I don't watch House, but I'm seeing her name constantly due to Cowboys and Tron. And yet, I still feel like I have no idea who she is.

Posted by: Steve at December 14, 2010 7:58 PM

Steve! Marry me!

*ahem* By which I mean, I agree wholeheartedly. (And to boot, I just don't care.)

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 15, 2010 9:21 AM

13 FTW.

But she's pretty much not on "House" anymore. Except the reruns. Sundays at midnight on the CW. Up against "Kendra!"

The moron Kendra!, I mean, not the ... wait, I guess he's the only one, so "moron Kendra!" is redundant. Sorry.

Posted by: , at December 15, 2010 11:02 AM

The first four Olivia's on that list have a strange resemblance to each other.

Posted by: NF at December 18, 2010 1:04 PM

Olivia Wilde sure is pretty but I love me some Olivia D'abo. I fell in love with her as Jenna in Conan the Barbarian - she was like my pretty, princess, angel, fairy (what? I was 8) and I wept when her dead body was dissolved with lye by The Cleaner in the La Femme Nikita remake, Point of No Return. Oh the 80's how I've missed you.

Posted by: Villian's minion at December 23, 2010 1:27 PM

Edit: Should be Conan the Destroyer. (sure it's a hilariously bad sequel but I fucking love that movie and I don't care who knows).

Posted by: Villain's minion at December 23, 2010 1:40 PM

Hey twentysomethings! Stop calling your daughters Olivia. It's enough now.

Posted by: Olivia at December 24, 2010 5:16 PM

You boys, missed a very important Olivia, look up De Berardinis (Sp.?). She is one of the MOST talented fantasy artists out there to date. One of her sexy one's is called "Why Men Leave Home", butI'll leave it up to you to find the art that's your favorite though.. . .

Be SAFE, Be WELL - - PEACE To ALL.

-Lone Wolf

Posted by: Lone Wolf at December 26, 2010 12:51 AM

samir

Posted by: alfannyh at December 27, 2010 11:18 AM

All Wilde all the time with a close finish by Thirlby. Munn is a stuck up C-U-N-T!

Posted by: darklighter1 at January 4, 2011 3:25 PM

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Know Your Olivias

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