It's Cookie Time! Power Ranking The Cast Of Troop Beverly Hills
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It's Cookie Time! Power Ranking The Cast Of Troop Beverly Hills

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | April 12, 2013 | Comments ()

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Listen the 1989 Shelley Long vehicle Troop Beverly Hills may not be an enduring classic. Packed with Pee-wee Herman and Robin Leach jokes, it's not exactly timeless. What it is, however, is f*cking delightful and for Women Of A Certain Age (me, mine), it's inextricably linked with childhood. So let's catch up with Troop 332. Relax, don't worry, it's Friday but, more importantly, it's cookie time.

10. Four-Way Tie Between Ami Foster, Emily Schulman, Heather Hopper and Tasha Scott: Who aren't doing much these days.
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9. Mary Gross: Oh how I wish this lady were higher because I flat out adore her. Her four years on "SNL" are criminally over-looked and both Casual Sex? and Feds underrated comedy classics. She's better than "Old Lady #3" on "Hart Of Dixie." In short, Annie Herman, boi-yoi-yoing.

8. Betty Thomas: I'd also like to rank this lady higher because she left acting to become a fairly successful film director. I had no idea! She directed one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies Only You (Robert Downey Jr., Marissa Tomei, Billy Zane's wig). Unfortunately, she's also responsible for that dratted Squeakquel. It's not exactly working at Walmart, but it's pretty bad.

7. Tori Spelling: Hey this moppet dyed her hair blond and was cast on a 90s teen soap and eventually graduated and that's it, right? Thank god, because if she had turned herself in to a cellophane tabloid monster and tarnished her Donna Martin legacy, I would be crushed.

6. Shelley Morrison: Yup, the woman who played the maid Rosa in Troop Berverly Hills then played the maid Rosario on "Will & Grace." Who says there aren't diverse opportunities for non-white ladies in Hollywood? Anyway, I hope she's having the last laugh somewhere with her feet propped up on stacks of Lifetime syndication money. You earned it, babe.

5. Kellie Martin: Speaking of Lifetime, the queen of Television For Women, Ms. Kellie Martin, was last seen on that network's Army Wives. Fingers crossed she gutted someone with a vegetable paring knife. Oh no, "A Friend To Die For," I'll never forget.

4. Shelley Long: Recently seen boning Matt Dillon on "Modern Family." Eat your heart out, Al Bundy.

3. Craig T. Nelson: The Muffler Man here breaks my heart on a near-weekly basis on NBC's "Parenthood." If he looked as good as the last two ladies do, he might have ranked even higher.

2. Carla Gugino: Gugino is talented as hell. Fun and dynamic and a strong performer. She also looks, uh, pret-ty damn good. I'll forgive her Sucker Punch. But grudgingly.

1. Jenny Lewis: The darling queen of the indie scene, Jenny Lewis and her sometimes-banadmate Blake Sennet ("Salute Your Shorts," "Boy Meets World") are two of the strongest success stories to come out 80s/90s entertainment. Go ahead, do yourself a solid and listen to Rilo Kiley for the rest of this gorgeous afternoon. That or "Cookie Time." Your choice.

Joanna Robinson hopes you're not going to complain about those last two leggy photos. Pants? They don't need no stinking pants.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • E-Money

    Give me ALL the feathered bangs!

  • Tom Shea

    Sorry I'm late, but Betty Thomas didn't direct the good Only You, with Downey and Tomei and Bonnie Hunt. Norman Jewison did. Thomas directed the shitty Only You, with Andrew McCarthy and Kelly Preston. So, drop her waaaaaaay down in the rankings.

  • Mmouse

    Jenny Lewis was Hannah Nefler?! My mind is blown. Man, I loved that movie.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Look, Carla Gugino gets forgiven everything. She could make, like, a snuff film or something where she's the one doing the snuffing and you know what? I'd forgive it and I'd help her hide the body. Because she's Carla Gugino, and everything she touches turns to gold.

  • Buck Forty

    Jenny Lewis and her sometimes-banadmate Blake Sennet (“Salute Your Shorts,” “Boy Meets World”) are two of the strongest success stories to come out 80s/90s entertainment.

    Yes, riiiiiight. Bigger than Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer combined.

  • I will forever love Kellie Martin for the family friendly TV show, Christy. I mean, mostly I love(d?) that show for the hot reverend, but I liked her, too.

  • aardvark

    What's with the downvote? that guy's beautiful!

  • Enrique del Castillo

    I had no idea who Kellie Martin was, but now I can't stop staring at her face

  • John W

    Mary Gross was part of a great line up on SNL.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Shelley Long: Recently seen boning Matt Dillon on “Modern Family.” Eat your heart out, Al Bundy

    Um, Al Bundy is boning Sofia Vergara. I doubt he's even thinking of the ex.

  • Lillimae

    Yeah, Rilo Kiley's okay, but let's talk about Jenny Lewis in The Wizard. "HE TOUCHED MY BREAST!!" Why not a post on lines from that movie? So many good ones..."It's the Power Glove. It's so rad", and of course, "Callliforrrrnnnniaaa".

  • MrsAtaxxia

    This movie is the fucking bee's knees.

  • Brooke

    I watched Troop while I was getting ready for my wedding, it just happened to be on tv. The movie will always hold a special place in my heart.

  • e jerry powell

    I don't like to kill Joanna's buzz, but Casual Sex also had that other SNL alum in it. The batshit crazy one.

  • pumpkin

    I still love the movie, even with the batshit crazy one in it.

    "Jamie, Jamie, Jamie..."

  • Kris

    So, there's a Rilo Kiley video embedded, but no "Cookie Time" video? I'm calling shenanigans. Prejudice is so ugly.

  • Kris

    Here, fight the anti-cookie lobby.

  • TrickyHD

    Could not make it through the video, that Cookie Time is an abomination, instead of a suicide note, I will just leave that video clip...the horror...

  • CMooreVerdad

    This is a pretty lean photo-gif-sticle. I know what Jenny Lewis and the other top ranks are doing. I'd LOVE to know what the non-power-players are up to. You tease with (some) current photos but don't delivery any details.

  • Kaitlyn David

    If you think Billy`s story is unimaginable,, 3 weaks-ago my friends sister also made $4214 working a fourteen hour week from there apartment and there best friend's mother-in-law`s neighbour has been doing this for 8-months and easily made more than $4214 part-time on there labtop. follow the information here,

  • Sorry, but no. There is no way that anyone who has been anywhere near Troop Beverly Hills beats the undiluted awesomeness of Carla Gugino.

  • Leland Eidson

    I fell in love with Jenny Lewis, the first time I saw this movie. When I discovered Rilo Kiley that love only grew. She's gorgeous, super talented, and all around awesome. I would totally buy her a rabbit fur coat.

  • nosio

    I'm pretty sure I say this every time she's mentioned on this site, but Jenny Lewis is my #1 GIRL CRUSH 4-EVA.

  • melissa82

    I love Rilo Kiley - - - saw them at Coachella years ago (before it was a fucking hipster paradise. ...Oh who am I kidding) and fell in love. I even love Jenny and Blake's separate efforts (her solo career, his band The Elected - he is one short short man).

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