Pajiba

i must be out of the loop with pop culture because for some of these people, I thought, "wait, so which is the famous one?"

You forgot Hugh Jackman and his wife...

CERSEI WITH TINY DOGS.

just made my mixed day a good day.

Half of these I don't know who the famous one is supposed to be. Does that say something about me or about our definition of fame these days?*

*--Can't be me.

Just FYI.... never put your hand on someone's stomach in a photo, it looks like you are either saying "hey, there's a baby in there!" or "look at this gut! Someone should lay off the beer!"

It is really a shame that you don't know Brooke Adams. You should do better research work, before you post such shit

Eliza Coupe's husband scares me, although that might just be the puppets.

JOHN NOBLE IS A BOSS.

Pretty sure that ain't Penny Noble. They have been married a long time and have 3 adult children together. Check out Penny at a Fringe celebration here:

http://www.gettyimages.com/det...

And somewhere else:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/m...

hi, chelsea field: bruce willis' wife in 'last boy scout'.

Mr & Mrs Pudi are the most goddamn adorable couple I have ever seen. I bet the sex is weird.

Way to go Dustin! Way to do your homework Poor Brooke Adams. She's awsome FY you Jackhole. And don't get me started on the John Noble photo.

Little Miss. Tambor certainly inherited her dad's smile.

First of all, Jill Latiano was in an episode of Community and so I am shocked that she has not met the qualifications for Pajiba-famous. I fully expect to see her hosting the Community Celebrity Cruise in 8 years. It should depart out of Tampa (near Gulfhaven), naturally.

Also, Cranston's daughter looks like Zosia Mamet, no?

Really Aisha?

Rainning on a Holiday.

Jeff Tietjens looks like he wants to eat my soul. No sploosh for you.

OMG! I can't believe you slighted Brooke Adams as unknown. She was a much bigger star than Tony when they met but left acting full time to raise their kids.

Sebastian Gutierrez - Carla's SO - directed Olyphant and Carla in Electra Luxx and Women in Trouble. The movies also feature JGL as a basement dwelling porn site critic. Gutierrez is in the business and slightly known.

Where is Paul Rudd and his adorable Wife? Edited to include the fact i cant read. its tv actors. though Paul was awesome on Delocated and Parks and Recreation he does not qualify.

It's still weird to see Coach Taylor in awards-show clothes. Wherefore, windbreaker and polo shirt?

Did John Noble notify the neighbors that he was hanging around a school? In the northern hemisphere, neighbors are notified when a pedophile is in the 'hood.

Carla, you cold, calculating bitch: giving nerds hope.

Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso
Jason Lee & Ceren Alkac

I guess only Jason Lee would clasify as TV actor. Though Damon could count for guest appearances?

Jane Krakowski has a husband that's not a cross dressing Jane Krakowski impersonator? Hollywood just keeps being better than real life.

Sebastian Gutierrez must have one amazing personality. Or penis.

Gugino is an underrated goddess. Gutierrez better have a magic peen... or tongue, to be considered that gorgeous woman's partner!

Okay... great... now I cannot dislike Lena Heady or Cersei Lannister because she likes puppy dogs.

thanks.... thanks a lot.

Seeing Cersei with a dachshund just seriously threatened her villain cred in my mind. I just want to take her out for a relaxing afternoon at the dog park now.

I kind of want to steal her dogs. And maybe her husband.

I'm pretty sure that's a picture of John Noble and his DAUGHTER Samantha Noble...she acts too.

Yurp. His actual wife can be found here -- http://www.flickr.com/photos/m...

What? John Noble married his daughter? THAT'S CREEPY.

That's the risk of crossing over to a parallel universe.

(Or, you haven't stopped drinking since Seth showed up.)

Remember that recent push to get Carla Gugino some Freebie 5 votes? That photo isn't helping.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life,
never make a famous person your wife.
Stick to my personal point of view,
get a nobody to marry you.

Even if she's uglyyyyyyyyy,
As long as she can cook baby.

Kissin' don't last.

Cookin' do.

--Pa. Dutch proverb

Your lack of a comma has me worried about your eating preferences.

Uh, oh - someone's been D.E.N.N.I.S.ed.

So Rule #4, whatever any of the authors will put up there, it will be heavily criticized, and no one would be happy with the author's assessments. Ever.

I can definitely get down with this! The site I usually exalt my snark on, had no sense of humor whatsoever, and one of the writers is a crazed, intolerant brangeloonie.

The intolerant crazed Brangeloonie in the Kaiser bitch from CELEBITCHY! God I fucking hate her!

Oh, I see I'm not alone, and not such a minority after all!

That particular ... Hateful shrew, had actually stolen some of my sentences and information, without ever giving me credit. Unlike the oft professional writer CB, who always gives credit where it's due!

And please, don't get me started on what happens if you ever tell her she's exaggerating on her love of the Brange, or embarrassing hatred of anything Aniston. She gets you deleted or spammed!

Oh god damn I'm so pissed off I missed this subject 2 days ago. That pyscho bitch Kaiser is beyond heinous, and her legions of brain dead soccer moms are nothing more than 14year old mean girls. Actually calling them 14 is in insult to junior high schoolers everywhere.

hehe. You're not late!!! This part would go on for a while for me.
Someone on one of them extremely crazy Aniston posts was bashing the woman, because Kaiser ridiculed her eating a salad and drinking Coke in Paris. The reader had said something along the lines of "anyone who ever watched Friends has an IQ no higher than 70" (mind you I cleaned-up spelling here)..
I told her she needs to start watching the show pronto, because obviously, her broccoli state would tremendously gain in watching all past seasons of Friends. And an IQ of 70 shouldn't be so far a reach.
Kaiser banned me. CeleBitchy got me back on that same afternoon.

Can we help it if the author's assessments are always wrong?

Please see Rule #5.

Thank you.

You're going to have to post these rules somewhere convenient so that we may ignore/flaunt them more easily.

I agree. Like the bro code.

Let's see if I've learned anything from my first-day orientation here in Pajiba, land of cootie.

Rule #1, There is no hope in Pajiba. Only snark.

Rule #2, Never ever listen to any Pajiban barking rules at you. And always comment while drinking (what, no one had specified).

Rule #3, Always comment on some lame-ass Cannonball Read. Some mswas would apparently grandly appreciate it.

Rule #4, Whatever writers put up, it is your job as the reader to always disagree, or at the very least, ridicule their assessment of self-professed geekdom knowledge.

Rule #5, Apparently, TK wants you all to Fuck yourselves. I'm always more than agreeable with self-gratification.

A big believer in the power of the number 7, I find ending any Rules for anything on someone's disabused wish to self-fuck... Is just tacky (unless you change your username to Caligula).

Any suggestions for rules 6 and 7?

Hey now. Don't knock the cannonballers. We do it in memory of a fallen Pajibite. But other than rule #3, that about sums it up.

That's why this particular rule is followed by Rule #5: Go fuck yourselves. All of you.

Pajiba is the internet version of that restaurant where the cooks and servers shout insults and profanities at the paying customers and then give them delicious food. Except Pajiba is free and has a name that is easy to mispronounce. Am I the only one that wishes the tag was just "It rhymes with vagina"? Probably.

In what fucking universe do "Pajiba" and "vagina" rhyme?

So Pajiba is The Weiner Circle of the Internet?

Wait! Are you saying that this site is actually a sausage fest?
This is quite new. I'm usually surrounded by women, and mixing politics, pot and tampax.
..
Unless there's beer!

What? I thought you pronounce it more like a hindu name: Pahjiibah... Isn't it Hindu? Does it really rhyme with Regina/vagina?

The first time I saw it explained was something like "It sounds like someone with a heavy cold saying a certain female bodypart." I really think there should be a comprehensive post or list of posts for all the new Pajibans. Have TK write it, title it something like "Get with it or Get the fuck out" and if a newbie makes it through the article, they deserve to be here.

If Pajiba rhymes with vagina on a cold, then shouldn't the title rather be "Get ON it, or fuck-off"?

Whatever the title may be, someone should really explain to me the history of this... cold tw-t!

Holy shit! Taht's how you pronounce it?!

We prefer to think of it not so much as "criticism" but as "enlightenment."

"No one would be happy with the author's assessments. Ever."

YOU WILL FIT IN NICELY.

I don't know who 90% of these people are.

Me, either.

I'm with you. Also, Gugino is not actually married to Gutierrez - they are just long time partners:
http://www.vulture.com/2012/06...

(or are we taking a loose definition of "spouse" here?)

Isn't that Bryce Dallas Howard (pic of Danny Pudi's wife)? Also: there's an R missing off the end of Tambor. :-)

Also, Chelsea Field: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm000...

BYGONES.

I don't know if you were joking about her somewhat middling career, but Brooke Adams has 62 entries as an actress on her IMDB page, and she's still working today. To us olds, she's certainly not a "non-celebrity".

Days of Heaven and Invasion of the Body Snatchers ('78) are immortal, and therefore so is she. ❤

Not to mention the trash classic Lace! "Which one of you b**ches is my mother?????"

And the lesser-known "Which one of you bastards is my father?"

I'm pretty sure Danny Pudi's wife is not Bryce Dallas Howard. Eh?

FIXED. BYGONES.

Phew!

ditto

Yeah, are we sure that's not a photo of Bryce?

Found it: http://www.redcarpet-fashionaw...

Timothy Olyphant & Alexis Knief

"It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

They have been married for 21 yrs

I think you meant to say she's had that off-shoulder poncho thing for 21 years. Right? That has to be what you meant.

How effing old is the Olyphant?

I think they were college sweethearts

Seriously, he looks like a kid in that picture.

He actually looks like a muh-muh-muh-muh monkaaaay (credit: Mick Jagger).

Was that a slight against Brooke Adams? Granted, maybe you have to be a Gen-Xer or older, but she's a well-known actor and has a very recognizable face. Also pretty sure she was famous before Tony was.

She was, but is more well known among theatergoers, I think.

Yeah! I recognized her immediately. She was also in Days of Heaven (one of my stepfather's favorite movies).

Yep - I recognized the face, if not the name.

Yeah, I was going to point that out as well, and also assumed the only reason I knew of her is because I'm likely older than the average 'Jiban.

Hey. Chelsea Field looks kinda familiar too...

Dood! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm000...

It was not a slight (I had no idea she was well known).

Then google her first! She's been around for decades in big movies! It's not the only one you got wrong, either.

Christopher Walken's Dead Zone girlfriend. I'm ashamed of you.

Yep, that's what I think every time I see her.

If you had been 12 years old in 1978 you would never forget her from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Boobies!

Mr. Rowles, I know her, and I'm from vampire country, as some people like reminding me. But I'm no vampire, therefore not old as dirt, so shame on you! *shakes a bony finger*

Dood! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm000...

oh my god! she was in Lace! the best/worst movie (or miniseries) ever!

Now, there is a trash-fest dying for a remake. Phoebe Cates' unplaceable European accent? Good times. But, yeah, while not exactly a household name Brooke Adams in not not famous.

I had completely forgotten Bess Armstrong even existed (remember she was hot for, like, a flicker in time?). I'm really feeling my age.

"Which one of you bitches is my mother?"