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If Sitcom Characters Were Halloween Candy

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | October 27, 2015 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | October 27, 2015 |


1. Snickers would be Fun Bobby: A party of chocolate and peanuts in your mouth.

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2. Milky Way would be Fun Bobby after he’s sobered up: Mushy, boring milk chocolate.

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3. Skittles would be Erlich Bachman: Colorful, tasty in short doses, and obnoxiously sticks to your teeth.

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4. Twix would be Troy and Abed, a delicious pair with a crunchy wit.

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5. Three Musketeers would be Jesse, Danny and Joey: Decent, risk-free, afternoon comfort candy that goes down easy.

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6. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are J.D. and Turk, the perfect marriage of flavors.

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7. M&Ms are Danny Castellano: A hard outer shell, but once you break through, it’s delicious in the middle.

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8. Almond Joy is Jan Levinson: She seems great, until you get to know her and realize she’s full of disgusting coconut.

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9. Sour Patch Kids are Chloe, sweet on the outside but a total bitch underneath.

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10. Big Bang Theory is the Red Vines of candy in that it wishes it could be Twizzlers, but it’s just a pretender.

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11. Pez is Saturday Night Live: You’re always nostalgic for it, but it’s never as fulfilling as when you were young.

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12. Liz Lemon is Butterfinger: Crisp, a little flaky, complicated and delightful.

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13. Charlie Kelly is Starbursts: Intense, fruit-flavored taffy.

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14. Ted and Tom are Werther’s Original and/or Butterscotch candy, because they’re just plain sad.

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15. Manny is Candy Corn because it’s the worst.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.


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