If Hayden Paintyourwagon Can Become A Household Name, There's Hope For These New TV Blondes

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If Hayden Paintyourwagon Can Become A Household Name, There's Hope For These New TV Blondes

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | September 26, 2012 | Comments ()


Surviving the TV series gauntlet ain't easy for any actress. Half the new shows will be cancelled before your local drug store has a chance to put up their Christmas decorations. Here's a handful of comely yet sorta bland blonde faces from TV that haven't yet become names. What's the likelihood that they will? Not great.

6. Caroline "Two Broke Girls": Even though this is an (inexplicably) well-liked and (bafflingly) well-rated show, I doubt Beth Behrs will ever be known as more than "that blonde one from the show Kat Dennings is too good for."

5. June "Don't Trust The B---- In Apartment 23": This, on the other hand, is a much better show, but what chance does Dreama Walker have of stepping out of the Dawson/Krysten Ritter shadow? Not much.

4. Gwen "The Mindy Project": This chica right here may, in fact, become a household name, but I doubt it will be for this highly problematic Mindy Kaling sitcom. Anna Camp's face will likely already look familiar to you from her film work (The Help, Pitch Perfect) or her strong comedic/dramatic TV work ("The Good Wife," "True Blood"). Here she's relegated to best friend which is sort of nice twist for the cute blonde to fill the role an actress like Kaling usually plays. Either way, "The Mindy Project" pilot was such a sh*tshow and Kaling's character so unappealing that unless they pull a "New Girl" reversal, I doubt this one will last.

3. Goldie "The New Normal": Ryan Murphy's latest has been getting very mixed attention. Some praise its snark and clever, others think it perpetuates hackneyed stereotypes. Whatever your take, it's the gay couple and Ellen Barkin's Jane Lynch impression that pull the focus. Georgia King, though quite lovely, is unlikely to make her mark. Then again, I've yet to hear her speak in her native Scots. That may change everything.

2. Kate "Ben and Kate": For a split second during last night's premiere, I wondered if Dakota Johnson were Chrissy from "Growing Pains" all grown up. But I had forgotten that Chrissy has now joined the Whedon fold. No, Dakota Johnson is the daughter of Melanie Griffiths and Don Johnson. Where are your cries of nepotism now, "Girls" haters? Anyway, she's cute as a button and the show is super fun. I'm not too keen on the Ben character, but I would follow Lucy Punch anywhere. So, it's my favorite of the new shows so far and, as such, very likely to be cancelled. Sorry, Georgia. I hope you have some of your dad's "Nash Bridges" money to fall back on.

1. Charlie "Revolution": Here's our likeliest candidate. Despite the hackneyed recycled "Lost" feeling, "Revolution" has been performing very well. Tracy Spiridakos has the Kate Austen meets Katniss Everdeen thing nailed. She's even got Evangeline Lily's signature pose on lockdown. So here's to you, budget Scarlett Johansson, may your mildly ethnic last name be crassly misspelled by me for years to come.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Jemiah Jefferson

    I LIKE Hayden Pantyhair (though I'm really glad she didn't try harder to become a pop singer/starlet combo; her "single" and video were like something put together from a Barbie kit, sold separately, click together the pieces of pink plastic to make a career nobody wants). I'm watching the hell out of Nashville - Dirty Haydie and Mrs. Coach? I don't even care what it's about (well, it's about white folks, and stuff white folks care about, that's about all I know); it's got mah LADIES.

  • Jezzer

    Dreama Walker is hilarious on "Don't Trust the B" and June totally holds her own against Chloe and Van der Beek. That's one of the tropes the show turns on its head: the sweet little small town girl from Nowhere, KS has a steel core when she needs it.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I may have to investigate some of these shows ...

  • Belkwinith

    Cover photo - who sits like that? Honestly.

  • I've had more interesting vanilla ice cream. I have nothing but respect for the efforts to pursue their dreams, but someone has to be direct and clear: nothing to see here.

  • Uriah_Creep

    All I know is that Connie Britton causes greater tumescences than all the other ladies here.

  • John W

    I think the success of 2 Broke Girls is because of Beth Behrs. Kat Dennings sarcastic, acerbic character is basically the straight man and Behrs gets to do most of the punch lines and physical comedy stuff.

  • PerpetualIntern

    Sigh. I miss Connie Britton's hair.

  • celery

    Why are we all of a sudden categorizing actresses by their hair color so much? Pajiba, I thought you were more interesting than this.

  • jon29

    Quickly! Begin categorizing actresses by cup-size. I'm waiting!

    I said, I'm *waiting*

  • Serious, Connie Britton is one of the hottest things on two legs.

  • dizzylucy

    Am I the only one who thinks Beth Behrs looks like Lea Michele in a blonde wig?

  • emmelemm

    Nope. You're not.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    So *that's* why she always looks familiar to me. Duh. Thanks.

    Okay, so not blonde and kind of obscure anyway, but am I really the only person on the planet who thinks Azita Ghanizada from Alphas looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar if you turned her Afghan and had her eat a little more regularly?

    I mean, I know it's just me, but I'm hoping I can seed the idea and people will start agreeing in spite of that.

  • TK

    Christ, now she does. So thanks for that?

    No. No thanks for that.

  • Rotwang

    Please: the correct name is "Hayden Planetarium"

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I'm pretty sure it's Hayden Panjandrum.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Just give me the B in Apt 23 and shitcan the rest.

  • Blake

    I love me some Dreama Walker. She's my third favorite blonde, behind Brie Larson and Gillian Jacobs who is of course being my all time favorite.

    Allie Grant should probably be on this list as well because she steals every scene she's in on Suburgatory.
    And Please someone find a spot for Brie Larson
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/W..." frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>

  • L.O.V.E.

    She had a fun cameo on The League.

    Loved her version of Black Sheep in Scott Pilgrim:


  • Blake

    Oops.. No embedded Video links...
    Princess Valhalla Music Video


  • Brie Larson is on a list of her very own. In my heart. Forever.

  • Blake

    Who would down vote this?

  • L.O.V.E.

    I suspect Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

    Or someone without a soul.

  • Blake

    How can you possibly speak poorly of Mary Elizabeth Winstead?

    LOOK AT HER!!!

  • L.O.V.E.

    I know!

    I was simply referring to their respective characters in Scott Pilgrim.

    And now a picture of both of them in pinup mode.

  • Sweet mother of hammanahammana!

  • Y'all seem to have a very loose interpretation of blonde. Just saying.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I resent that. I only think *some* blondes are loose. There's still hope for the others.

  • Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • JenVegas

    Oh man I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels that way about The Mindy Project....I was so disappointed last night. I'm still holding on to hope though. Just...a ....little...bit.....longer. Sigh.

  • jd

    You're not the only one.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Stop trying to make this "All the vaginas look the same," fetch thing happen, Pajiba.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I dare say, it is a bit "mysoginistic" isn't it?

    (Green Slime comes pouring down on head)

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    No, I think they're trying to somewhat validly draw attention to themes in casting, but they're doing it so much, and with so little actual similarity beyond genitalia and being-- by necessity-- TV-pretty that it's begun sounding like, "OMG, why all the vaginas, y'all?!?!"

  • TK

    Urge... to kill... rising.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I upvote this and I will ALWAYS encourage your murderous urges.

  • L.O.V.E.


    HA. You can't make me stop.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Wow! You managed to spell the word wrong five times now.

    EDIT: Ninja'd by Long Pig Tailor.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    My bad. I think we posted at the exact same time.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    You were about 10 seconds faster.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Could you stop misspelling it, at least? It's misogynistic.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Oh, and I get 5 points for getting someone else to say it.

    Pfft. Ack.

  • You get 'em...

  • L.O.V.E.

    Oh, my dear friend, Sarcasm.
    Shall we go for a romantic walk?
    Yes, just the two us.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Sorry, what irony?

    ETA: And now it's sarcasm? I'm just confused now.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Anna Camp had a VERY nice cameo on House of Lies. She also has Mad Men cred.

    Only paid brief attention to her last night on Kaling's show.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Didn't Dreama Walker get good reviews for Compliance?

    I like her a lot on Don't Trust the B.

  • Blake

    She did... Plus she has a topless scene, but considering the context I'm not going to link to it.

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