I Am the Scavenger: 10 Films to Get You Through the Rest of The Year

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I Am the Scavenger: 10 Films to Get You Through the Rest of The Year

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | October 11, 2012 | Comments ()


You're already waiting for Cloud Atlas (October 26th), Skyfall (November 9th), Lincoln (November 16th), The Hobbit (December 14th), Les Misérables (December 25th), and Django Unchained (December 25th), but what's left in and around the blockbusters the rest of the year? Here are a few choice films to help you wile away the weekends until 2013.

1. For When You're Bored and Need a Screwball Comedy to Wash Away All the Bad "Sons of Anarchy" Memories

3, 2, 1...Frankie Go Boom October 12th

Directed by Jordan Roberts (Around the Bend); starring Charlie Hunman, Chris O'Dowd, Ron Perlman, Lizzy Caplan, Chris Noth and Whitney Cummings. Frankie's (Hunman) family is crazy and so, therefore, is he. Becoming clean and sober won't necessarily fix anything, but Perlman in drag may make him laugh?

2. For Your Requisite October Scare

Sinister October 12th

Directed by Scott Derrickson (The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Hellraiser: Inferno); starring Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio, Juliet Rylance and Fred Dalton Thompson. A true-crime novelist moves his family into a house where the previous owners were murdered, and expects what--A Christmas Story? Reap what you sow, people.

3. For When You Want to Sit Alone in a Theater, Feeling Those Sexy Feelings. (Don't Get Caught Pee Weeing Your Herman)

Nobody Walks October 19th

Directed by Ry Russo-Young (You Won't Miss Me) and co-written by Lena Dunham; starring John Krasinski, Olivia Thirlby, Dylan McDermott, Rosemarie DeWitt and Jane Levy. A family takes in a young filmmaker (Thirlby) and the ramifications are (so sorry) moist-making.

4. For the Saturday Night You Feel Like Kicking Some Ass

The Man with the Iron Fists November 2nd

Directorial debut by RZA, co-written by and starring RZA; with Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, Pam Grier, Jamie Chung and Dave Bautista. A blacksmith in feudal China makes weapons--they come in handy when his small town is attacked. I don't know what the hell Russell Crowe is doing there (testing cell phone trajectories)?

5. For the Day You Need a Hug and Some Inspiration

Rust and Bone November 16th

Directed by Jacques Audiard (A Prophet, Read My Lips); starring Marion Cotillard, Matthias Schoenaerts and Armand Verdure. A whale trainer suffers a horrible accident, but her new love remains by her side.

6. For the Afternoon You Want to Feel Like a Kid Again

Rise of the Guardians November 21st

Directed by Peter Ramsey ("Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space"); starring Hugh Jackman, Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Chris Pine, Isla Fisher and Dakota Goyo. This fantasy imagines Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman and the Easter Bunny as immortal guardians who protect children. When a bad entity attacks, they...throw presents and baby teeth?

7. For a Steamy Hot December Escape

Deadfall December 7th

Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky (The Counterfeiters); starring Eric Bana, Olivia Wilde, Sissy Spacek, Kris Kristofferson, Charlie Hunnam and Treat Williams. Über hot siblings (Bana and Wilde) on the run with a load of cash from a casino robbery gone wrong. I wonder if Hanna is out there somewhere, maybe she could help.

8. For the Dark, Quiet Sunday You Feel Like Crying Out All Your Tears

Amour December 19th

Directed by Michael Haneke (The White Ribbon, Funny Games); starring Emmanuelle Riva, Jean-Louis Trintignant and Isabelle Huppert. Winner of the 2012 Palme d'Or, Amour examines the love between an elderly couple after the wife suffers a stroke.

9. For When You Want to Put on Your Camouflage and Yell, "Hell Yeah! 'Murica!"

Zero Dark Thirty December 19th

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, Strange Days); starring Jessica Chastain, Chris Pratt, Joel Edgerton, Stephen Dillane, Mark Strong, Harold Perrineau, Scott Adkins and Taylor Kinney. The story behind Navy Seals hunting down Osama bin Laden.

10. For When You Want to See if Tom Cruise Can Still Do the Action Thing (and So We Can Talk About Scientology Some More)

Jack Reacher December 21st.

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie (The Way of the Gun); starring Cruise, Richard Jenkins, Robert Duvall, Werner Herzog and Rosamund Pike. Adaptation of Lee Child's One Shot, a sniper kills five people and has nothing to say but, "Get Jack Reacher." Former military policeman, Reacher (Cruise) has his own method of truth finding. (Xenu?)

Cindy Davis believes in popcorn.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • anatomycoloringbook

    I think my sheer laziness would protect me from demonic house monsters because if I found a box with a projectors and old movies my first thought would be, 'Those damn assholes left their crap here. What am I gonna do with this shit?' not 'Gee, I'm gonna set up that projector and look at other people's boring ass home movies'. I'd find the box six months later and finally drag it down to the curb on trash day. That demon monster would be at the trash all, 'What the hell just happened?'

  • For the love of God, Eric Bana, PLEASE do something good again. I love you. I miss you. Come back to us. And take off your shirt!

  • bbmcrae

    "co-written by Lena Dunham; starring John Krasinski"

    Thanks for the warning!

  • zeke_the_pig

    ding. agreed.

  • Slash

    It will be interesting to see what Tarantino does with a western. He needs to do sci fi next. Maybe he should have made "Prometheus." He couldn't have come up with anything more nonsensical than what we actually ended up with. And at the very least, the dialogue would have been better.

  • Life. of . Pi. that is all. (oh frankenweenie and Durango too, but mostly just Life. of. Pi.)

  • Let's do a headcount: Lizzy, Rosemarie, Jaime, Marion, Olivia, Isabelle, Jessica, Rosamund. I have dates for the balance of the year, apparently. Happy Christmas to me!

    Another headcount: Perlman, Schoenaerts, Crowe, Bana, Edgerton. We're missing Hardy, or we'd have a list of very good actors who've done the steroid-HGH thing to kick ass in film. Put 'em all together for a throwback WWF Battle Royale.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Wow.That list looks pretty good. Doubtless, I'll be bitterly disappointed by most of them. Curse you for getting my hopes up!

  • BodyMore Murdaland

    No mention of Kyle Chandler in Zero Dark Thirty? Thought you all were FNL fans. Also, no love for Wreck-It Ralph? Thought you all were self-professed nerds, and it looks much better than that creepy Guardians movie.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    That looks sofa-king HILARIOUS!!!! And Hellboy in drag!?!? Dude... that is genius!

  • Kala

    I gasped, actually gasped, when that door opened. Ron Perlman is HANDS DOWN the ugliest man in drag I have ever seen, which actually makes me more excited to see it.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I love movie boners. I have one right now. Good stuffs a'comin.

  • oh god, that is a visual. please tell me you don't wear a bowtie and pancake makeup...

  • Lauren Mckenzie

    I'm sorry, but casting Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher was just a giant slap in the face to anyone who has read and enjoyed Lee Child's books. Reacher's one thing that distinguishes himself and comes up over and over again is his size. The dude is HUGE. I just don't think dinky-cruise could ever pull off Reacher's endearable-assholeyness either. he'll just be smirky and obnoxious. It irks me because these books were perfect for being made into kick-ass movies. Ruined it.

  • Apparently Child is okay with it.


  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Clearly he's getting a piece of the box office and thinks we still live in 2002, when Tom Cruise would mean money.

  • Yeah, well I'm sure the paycheck was handsomer this way.

  • Lauren Mckenzie

    .....damnit. Well my mom isn't cool with it. So.. there.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Also: Psychopaths, Psychopaths, Psychopaths! yay.

    Haven't heard of that Iron Fists movie, but it does sound kinda badass.

  • Samantha Klein

    OH MY GOD, Pajiba, would you just let the fucking cell phone incident DIE?

  • Samantha Klein

    It's just that I love Pajiba, you guys, and I love Russell Crowe, and this disconnect causes me much sadness. Can't we all just get along?

  • Ben

    Crowes an amazing actor but a class A fuckwit. He's not a full on horrible person like Gibson or anything, He's just a generally shitty person.

    Although he did lead to a great Frenzal song

  • Jezzer

    He's kind of a douchebag, though. Like, full-on Actor Douche and Musician Douche combined. Like, take-a-chick-home-and-make-her-listen-to-him-play-the-guitar-and-kick-her-out-the-next-morning Douchebag. He's John Mayer with an accent and an anger problem. He's a popped collar with a decent Q score.

    He really didn't make a decent impression when he was in Kentucky filming "The Insider," let's just say.

  • lowercase_ryan

    you wanna have like, 10,000 of his babies!

  • I think this is the first time I've personally mentioned anything about Crowe, but perhaps you should read the about the altercations and controversies section of his Wiki page. Doesn't seem to be an isolated incident and he, himself said it was shameful--caused by "jet lag, loneliness and adrenaline."

  • Samantha Klein

    Has he had any incidents in the last, oh, five years? The thing is, people can change. And as such, I just don't believe we should continue to harp on one bad moment. And I wasn't necessarily speaking about you personally. Your statement is in line with most of what Pajiba as a whole writes about Crowe.

  • I think he's a great actor. That won't stop me from poking fun at him...or any other public person who acts like an ass. Just like my friends make fun of me when I do :)

  • lowercase_ryan

    really? a Crowe apologist?

  • Samantha Klein

    I find it disgusting that an actor of his caliber is continually vilified for something he stupidly did in anger, as though he's not a human being who makes mistakes like the rest of us. We don't know what the situation was, really, that got him that upset. He was trying to talk to his wife. Maybe there was an emergency. We don't know. STILL, he apologized, paid a fine, did whatever, and assumedly the actual person he threw the phone at has moved on with his life, so why the hell can't we? Mel Gibson, he of the girlfriend beating, anti-semitic rages doesn't get HALF of the vitriol that Crowe gets around here, and it fills me with rage, in case you couldn't tell.

  • frank247

    Jeez, Samantha, give it up!

    A pithy one liner in the blurb for a trailer for a movie that may or may not be good, is not a full on verbal attack on your favourite actor/public relations client.

    Maybe we should thank the Godtopus (may her tentacles protect us) that you aren't a Tom Cruise fan....

  • @google-b5196af35449a70b04b3d279c729846a:disqus - "assumedly the actual person he threw the phone at has moved on with his life, so why the hell can't we?"

    You realize this is Pajiba, non? We never move on. [Truth be told, I cheered him for doing so way back then - little people can be so annoying.]

  • Sara_Tonin00

    He's not vilified, he's teased (in absentia, no less). And it's easier to mock something stupid like that than Gibson's straight out hate. Though I think you are underestimating the ire against Gibson.

  • Samantha Klein

    I have never gotten the sense that the stuff about Crowe is "teasing." In fact, people usually say something along the lines of "I hate that guy." I just think that it's a serious overreaction and kind of a dumb thing to totally dismiss one of the finest actors working over.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I agree with Sara. I think people love to make fun of Crowe, but Gibson is a whole different animal.

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