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Hollywood’s Top 5 Freaky-Hot Mother F**ers

A Seriously Random List IX / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | October 29, 2008 | Comments (138)

Yesterday’s Freakiest-Looking Motherfuckers took an expected turn, given the collective libido of the Pajiba womenfolk and our Pajibagays (I’ll give the heterojibes some lady-list love soon). Freakiest-Looking turned into Freaky-Hot, and then the degenerates chimed in about the freaky-hot abuse these men could do to their ladyparts. So, without further ado, here’s the list of Top 5 Freaky-Hot Motherfuckers, with Eloquent commentary:

5. Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman…he scares me, and yet I still want him to pin me against a wall. —Julie

gary_oldman_dark_knight.jpg

4. Kevin Spacey

Oh,the things I would do to Kevin Spacey if he was at all interested. Why do I always want the ones who would have no interest in me? —Becks

I love Kevin Spacey. I think he’d be into BDSM but be polite about it, you know? — scorzi

kevin_spaceydd.jpg


3.Peter Sarsgaard

Sarsgaard is freaky looking but imo he falls into the realm of freaky hot…like yeah he has dead eyes and is even a bt threatening in an ‘gets under the skin’ kind of way….but thats alright and maybe you wouldn’t mind it…SO much. — Nadine

I can’t not say how much I want to do dirty, dirrrrty things to Peter Sarsgaard. — mimi

peter%20sarsgaard.jpg


2. Willem Dafoe

Willem Dafoe is for sure freaky hot…enough so that his drag appearance in Boondock Saints got me all kinds of confused. — Nadine

Willem Dafoe might be freaky lookin, but the man is also hung like a horse :-) — Be Adequite

willem-dafoe-vampire.jpg


1. Jeff Goldblum

Jeff Goldblum definitely tops that list for me. I want to eat him with a spoon. But part of me does acknowledge his inherent freakiness. — Whitney

Jeff Goldblum is MINE, y’all.

My years spent worshipping him in highschool, making posters from pictures of him printed off his ancient fansite (10 years ago, people) and staying up all night watching every movie he’s ever been in (only the first half of The Fly, because my eternal love does not extend to gross fly face) while getting hyped up on caffienated beverages and giant pixie sticks make me his number one fan and deserving of his adoration. — Raisin’ Cookies


452px-Jeff_Goldblum.jpg









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Comments

Christ, you ditch the left eye on the Dafoe picture and you'd be looking at Minimus' driver's license...

Posted by: Skitz at October 29, 2008 11:16 AM

The real question is, for how long will Dustin keep up the Roman numerals.

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 11:20 AM

Goldblum icks me out. I can get behind everyone else on this list. I'm sure there must be a way to turn that last statement into some sort of innuendo, but I'm just not sure how.

Posted by: tt_marie at October 29, 2008 11:23 AM

What no list for lesbians?

Posted by: anikitty at October 29, 2008 11:26 AM

Julie's comment on Gary Oldman gave me the most tittilating visual--I'll be picturing him, me, wall all day. THANK YOU. The thought alone brings a smile to my face.

[Gary? The wall is optional...call me!]

Posted by: staylor at October 29, 2008 11:28 AM

Jonathan Rhys Meyers warrants mention.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 11:32 AM

I'll give the heterojibes some lady-list love soon

Would it translate, though? Like, there's atypical women but not Willem Dafoe women with a cult of horny men.

But, maybe I'll find I'm mistaken!

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 11:36 AM

By the way, thank you for the white tee Kevin Spacey pic. Hotter than fucking hot. Why must I be injured? I need to jog away the sexual tension!

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 11:41 AM

i just ate an entire batch of blueberry pancakes, then had my creepy love for kevin spacey and willem dafoe (mostly creepy because they're old enough to be my father) validated. all in all, a good morning.

Posted by: eat my shorts at October 29, 2008 11:45 AM

Yummmmmmmmm, delicious, delicious Sarsgaard.....

Posted by: Tbone at October 29, 2008 11:47 AM

Christ, you ditch the left eye on the Dafoe picture and you'd be looking at Minimus' driver's license...

I bet having him around all day certainly improves your chances with the lay-dees.

Posted by: Kolby at October 29, 2008 11:48 AM

ahhh i forgot to say this but i second the thanks for the kevin spacy white tee picture...more delicious than a vegan pancake indeed...

Posted by: eat my shorts at October 29, 2008 11:48 AM

re: Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Velvet Goldmine = porn for me and my female friends.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale all getting their freak on. I'd do nearly every one of the people involved in that film. Even Toni Collette.

Posted by: nischi at October 29, 2008 11:49 AM

I don't get Kevin Spacey as freaky at all. He's just average or normal looking. Where's the freak? I might swap him out for Ray Liotta.

Jay, may I suggest Helena Bonham Carter or Angelina Jolie? While Ang has the smokin' hot body, her face has got to be filed under freakalicious, no?

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 11:49 AM

Helena's freaky? I'd just say they're both pretty. But alas, Angelina used to have the body, and the skinny face is making the eyes and lips really bug out now.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 11:53 AM

Jay, maybe Tilda Swinton?

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 12:00 PM

Vincent Gallo? No? I'm the only one, aren't I...

That is a seriously hot pic of Kevin Spacey, btw. Mee-yow. I always forget how much of a crush I have on him until he's in something, particularly as a villain. OH god he's good when he's bad. So so good.

I'll be in my bunk. Or, in reality, the bathroom at work.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 12:00 PM

I could go for a freaky-sexy (or sexyugly as they refer to it in Kissing Jessica Stein) Irish sandwich of Jonathon Rhys-Meyers and Cillian Murphy. Both slighty creepy, and seriously disgustingly hot.

Posted by: Ami at October 29, 2008 12:01 PM

THANK YOU! I absolutely agree. Also add: Geoffrey Rush. Dunno what it is, but want. Also: Tim Roth.

Posted by: Tzippoirah at October 29, 2008 12:04 PM

Well, again, I don't think Tilda's sexyugly (but then, I don't think Kevin Spacey's bizarre either).

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 12:04 PM

For me it'll always be Spacey in American Beauty in the scene where he opens up Mena Suvari's crisp white blouse. I was a little blond 14 year old and it was oh so easy to imagine myself into her position.

Why did he stop? Goddamn it, why did he stop?

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 12:05 PM

Every time I hear a mention of Jeff Goldblum, my mind automatically goes back to "Celebrity Jeopardy" parodies on SNL.

"Ahh..see...yes...well...that is correct...and uhhh...well..."

Posted by: Melody at October 29, 2008 12:05 PM

Dear god, Peter Sarsgaard! Stop looking at me with those deadly, deadly, lazy sex-eyes. They - and now I, wracked with evil-man lust - are NSFW. And that mouth! Sweet lord. He is a nasty menace to society, intent on bringing it down with his insalubrious charm and dirty thoughts.

Posted by: Thompson Twin at October 29, 2008 12:06 PM

I just showed this list to my friend Alex The Boy(i know two Alex's, ones a boy, one's a girl...he's the boy) and he said his only disagreement is Kevin Spacey, who he feels resembles 'an androgynous man child'


Didn't think it before but now that it's been said....

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 12:06 PM

vincent gallo in buffalo 66 did it for me. i think christina ricci did, too, in that movie.

I love Kevin Spacey. I think he'd be into BDSM but be polite about it, you know? -- scorzi
^
that's hysterical

how about some guy pierce action? he's so sexy, hot alley behind the bar action sexy

Posted by: courtney at October 29, 2008 12:07 PM

Saarsgard just looks stoned...not that I mind that, but he's hardly freaky;-) He does have a totally hot voice, and I wouldn't toss him out of bed, fer sure. Spacey is another totally normal looking dude, in a hot neighbor way. (Awesome pic, yum.)

I nominate John Malkovich - he's freaky looking, and actually, the first time I noticed Saarsgard, I was struck by how much he sounds like Malkovich.

I groove on sexy voices...go on, talk dirty to me...

Posted by: angelbabe at October 29, 2008 12:10 PM

I have a friend who lists Velvet Goldmine in her list of Desert Island movies, as it is "glam rock artsy porn," that could both help past the time enjoyably, and wouldn't get straight out dirty looks if you were ever rescued.

Posted by: Rish at October 29, 2008 12:10 PM

Nadine you look like an androgynous man child!
Dont diss the Spacey he was the first serial killer/finger mutilator I ever had a crush on, even now when I see a cardboard box I hear his droll, dulcet tones and get tingles down my spine.

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 12:12 PM

Nadine you look like an androgynous man child!
Dont diss the Spacey he was the first serial killer/finger mutilator I ever had a crush on, even now when I see a cardboard box I hear his droll, dulcet tones and get tingles down my spine.

Nadine you dont really look like an androgynous man child.....well not all of the time.

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 12:13 PM

Wow...I never found Spacey hot before until that picture. HelLO biceps.

Courtney, my college friends and I used to rewind the scene in Memento with the naked Guy Pearce goodness over and over. Since then he's had a sort of...rabbity (?) quality that has cooled my ardor, but I'd still tear at the buckle of his pants with the enthusiasm of a kid opening presents on Christmas day.

Posted by: Julie at October 29, 2008 12:15 PM

Nieve, I may occasionally look like an androgynous manchild, but at least i dont always look like an inflatable sex doll.

And, I really dont get the Jeff Goldblum love....he looks sort of like a porn star...only...oilier


Like i could use him to surf on hardwood floors or something

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 12:27 PM

My beloved Benicio Del Toro deserves a mention. Even when he looks like he hasn't showered in weeks, there's something about him that makes me wanna get him even dirtier.

Posted by: Tammy at October 29, 2008 12:31 PM

ooh, good one, Tammy. Mmmm dirty Benicio.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 12:34 PM

Your the only one who thinks that.

Im undecided on the Goldblum love, I do think he's somewhat attractive then I remember his hands, they're huge they're the type of hands that could kill you without realizing it.......but he did save the world from aliens by smacking the shit out of them with said giant man hands (independence day, the uncut version)

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 12:34 PM

thing is, we all know that saying about big hands and some of the Pajiba Women Folk would very much not object at all to the freakish hands he flaps around, disturbing wind patterns with.

Would you, ladies?

And Y'all, Nieve is my sister and Pajiba as my witness she looks like an inflatable sex doll

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 12:40 PM

Also, Jeff Goldblum has the sexiest walk, evah. Cue final scene from Independence Day, where he and Will Smith are walking across the desert smoking cigars. Woot.

Posted by: Kitty X at October 29, 2008 12:42 PM

I really dont.

Im sure Im not alone in wondering where the delightful Alan 'Severus Snape/Hans Gruber/Sherrif of Nottingham' Rickman is? I dont know anyone who can rock emo curtains the way he does. Is it wrong that Im always jealous of Maid Marion when he attempts to 'deflower' her against her will?

And nadine? Mama says you gots to stop tellin people we're related else Ill never make friends on mah own!

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 12:54 PM

Is it wrong that Im always jealous of Maid Marion when he attempts to 'deflower' her against her will?

Wait, what?! How have I never seen this!? I must know immediately what movie this is! Please don't make me use the google!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 1:00 PM

Too late. Prince of Thieves, you say? Surely I didn't not see this movie. Yet I do not recall this scene, and I feel certain that it would be filed away in that tiny corner of my brain reserved for masturbatory fantasy items.

Tiny, small little corner.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 1:05 PM

Its in Robin Hood: Prince of thieves dear Anna, go and find and enjoy...we do


Nieve, you never make friends on your own.

Seriously, stop following me around and trying to steal mine!!

But i do agree, where's Rickman von sexy??

And aaaah the Hero walk at the end of ID4...yeah Goldblum owned that, i'll admit it


Oh oh, Richard O'Brian! Never as a tall, skinny, balding hunchback been so alluring

He thought no one ever liked him, but i did

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 1:07 PM

AvB, it's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

I love that movie way more than I should. "Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe or a blade?" "Because it's DULL you TWIT, it'll HURT MORE!!!"

Rickman is at his sexiest in Sense and Sensibility. Oh god I love that voice.

Posted by: Julie at October 29, 2008 1:07 PM

Let's try to get the tags right this time...

Have you seen Helena lately Jay? Then again, maybe it's just the bag lady clothes? What about Christina Ricci (someone mentioned her)? She's got that big head, tiny body thing going.

And Guy Pearce is smoking hot. Ain't nothing freaky about him unless he's with me and we're somehow incorporating peanut butter.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 1:08 PM

What about Bill Maher? Would anyone do him? I can't decide.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 1:10 PM

I wouldn't, Cindy, but mostly because I find him incredibly snide. Not in a good way, though.

And thanks for the reminder about Richard O'Brien.... Oh, did I have a teenage girl crush on Riff Raff. I do love the tall skinny freaks.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 1:19 PM

Rickmans voice makes my knees go weak and my bra ping off.


Also: Stephen Colbert, John Stewart and Conan O'Brian = a Trifecta of Nerd Sexy.

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 1:21 PM

He is snide Anna, and pompous and arrogant - but sometimes those cocky sorts are, well - cocky. If you get my drift.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 1:24 PM

see, Cindy, you'll have to explain that one to me, Guy Pearce...I get we're talking Freaky But Hot but to me he's just all freaky =(

Then again thats the point here isn't it? Each to their own and all that =)

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 1:25 PM

Anna Von Beaverplatz....i love your name


but yeah, also, tall skinny guys, sssssshwing!!!

Not to mention he was so effing good in RHPS =)


Would Dean Winters be considered Freaky But Hot?

Cos he's not Freaky looking, but he does look, nnnnnnnnnninety percent of the time, like he's JUST ABOUT to rape you

but its not as frightening as it really ought to be

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 1:28 PM

i thought the freaky list from yesterday was the freaky-hot list, but these are some good additions. i would love to be in a Lukas Haas, Crispin Glover, Willem Dafoe sandwich. or i could just watch, that would be fun too.

Jeff Goldblum, he calls for one-on-one action. i don't know what is freaky about him, but he is insanely hot.

Posted by: pq at October 29, 2008 1:34 PM

No way, Dean Winters looks like he could be related to Matthew McConaghoweveryouspellhisname. Not enough freaky, but definitely hot.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 1:37 PM

Okay you people I am at work right now and I am about to slide right out of my pants in front of a room full of children! This is NOT RIGHT.

I show Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead every year, and sometimes the young Tim Roth/Gary Oldman combo is almost too much. I have to like, grade papers, and think about teacher conferences to get my mind out of the gutter.

Posted by: AM at October 29, 2008 1:37 PM

Noooooo! The tall-skinny has once again been invoked!!!


Ricci was a really cute minor, then she did "Opposite of Sex", and then one day she had her hair tightly pulled back over a suddenly huge head that looked like it had taken mass from the rest of her body. That was not freaky hot. Just freaky.

She should not wear her hair like that.

But then, with the little bob in "Speed Racer"? It was like a resurrection. Still thinner than the early days but crazy adorable. Crazy adorable.

(Oh and before someone else says it: No no no, surely you mean the hero walk from Buckaroo Banzai)

This is my tenth day of going to work out of eleven (one day was just an hour, but it was 8 am). So go ahead and rustle up some Bag Lady Bonham pictures, I need some serenity! I'm depressed and punchy!

And would it be freaky that my only fault against the seaside scene in "Sweeney Todd" is that while she looked great it was too sunny? Well, maybe we'll discuss later.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 1:40 PM

AM, me and Alex The Boy, the same one who caled Kevin Spacey and Androynous Manchild, where discussing the Oldman, Roth combo, including pictures of the pair of them lookin aaaaall kinds of foine

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 1:43 PM

I just can't get past the "hot" of Jeff Goldblum to even acknowledge any "freaky."

I am 22 years old, fairly straight-laced, and I still considered throwing myself at the Goldblum when I saw him in 'Speed-the-Plow.' The man is a tall nebbish, for God's sake! Do you have any idea how rare and sought-after that is for a 5'11' Jewish girl like me?

Posted by: foursweatervests at October 29, 2008 1:46 PM

Jay I totally hear you on that scene. I thought so too. Pulls you right out.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 1:54 PM

Richard O'Brien!!!
i had such a huge crush when i was in high school
oh, i almost forgot
every guy i've dated has fallen into the tall, skinny, boney classification. i can't help it
mmmmm
makes me want to call my ex!

fourswetarevests, i know! i'm 5'10" and love my heels. it's rare to get a guy nice and tall.

Posted by: courtney at October 29, 2008 1:57 PM

Jay, ahhhh, Buckaroo Banzai i LOVE that movie. New Jersey (Goldblum) played a large part in my sexual awakening. actually, pretty much everyone in that movie made me think dirty thoughts. wow. TMI! sorry, but it's true.

i fell in love with Helena Bonham Carter in A Room With a View and the bag lady look totally suits her. don't see the freaky with her either--just hot.

Posted by: pq at October 29, 2008 1:58 PM

Oh, pq, you're too precious! Don't you know there's no such thing as TMI here? You're in Pajiba country now, baby!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 2:00 PM

We cant stop here! this is Pajiba country!

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 2:08 PM

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 2:19 PM

Gael García Bernal is freaky-hot. I mean, seriously. Analyze his facial features separately: his nose, his fangs, his mouth, his chin... they're all pretty fucked up. But put them together, stir them, and leave them in the oven for 10 minutes and you got yourself a miniature hottie.

http://www.gael-garcia.net/galeria/displayimage.php?album=3&pos=1

Seriously, he's ridiculously short.

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 2:24 PM

Cindy. hmmm....that second one with the gun MIGHT be okay...but still, I dont see it...


And as for Gael Garcia Bernal Smith Ampersand Honolulu Jones...he's one of those guys who SHOULD be hot


but isnt

SO here's another list for you


the spectacularly named 'Hotties who should by all rights be hot...but aren't'


Like Cameron Diaz...should be stunning but isn't


Rules are: It can be people who are hot but have one or two features that put you off (Cameron Diaz's smile, Gael Garcia's too wide mouth, Julia ROberts too wide mouth, Leo Dicaprio's hamster cheeks) or it can be people who have perfect features just...are not sexy at all


Scarlett Johansson, for example

Or...other people

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 2:33 PM

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Gael.. See, I was just thinking of him as freakishly hot, but I guess he fits this list. Either way, I would hop aboard. Can I tell you how many times I have watched Y tu mama tambien just to watch him naked?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 2:36 PM

I think Helena Bonham Carter looks adorable in her bag lady pictures, but I have a serious girl crush on her.


I nominate Rufus Sewell - He's hot, but his eyes and his smile are very creepy.

Maybe Benicio Del Toro.

Posted by: misty at October 29, 2008 2:38 PM

No love for Alan Cumming? Ok, I will happily take him. I have no idea where my love for weirdly androgynous men comes from. But YUMMY!

Oh, and I totally back up the Alan Rickman love as well.

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 2:39 PM

Kevin Spacey in American Beauty made my whole "older man" fantasy finally let loose. That's why I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 42 :-)

Seriously, Kevin Spacey would be into BDSM....but when he trotted out the ball gag and leather riding crop would be like "See? I'm just gonna lay them down on the bed and let you look at them first. You like them? No? Want a soda or something? Let's watch some tv before we rush into anything."

If he was my girlfriend's dad he could spank me anytime :-)

Posted by: scorzi at October 29, 2008 2:39 PM

Thank you all for letting me know I'm not alone in my Goldblum lust! The man has been in some seriously shitty movies, but he always looks good doing whatever he does! I also have a serious crush on Liam Neeson and sometimes Adrian Brody (when he isn't looking asshatey). I'm starting to think I'm just hot for men with big schnozzes. I wonder why....?

Posted by: peachfish at October 29, 2008 2:40 PM

Oh, I don't mean to say it's badly manufactured, just that I don't want to be on any beach where it's sunny.

Besides, it's also a danger to maintaining a lack of tan....though a little bit can get you freckles.

I've discussed my northern European problem, right? Meanwhile Anglo-Hungarianism seems to have made me into Zartan. You oughta see my tan lines in the summer. Well, maybe you shouldn't, they're not all that inherently attractive, just weirdly chocolate/vanilla.

Plus, well, she looks comfortable! This is a woman who's not afraid to go out in public with some clothes on. She'd probably have a great soup recipe and want to share a blanket on the couch.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 2:46 PM

I love a good nose, peachfish. Adrian Brody is one of them. Isn't there some correlation between a good nose and a good.... you know. Hammer.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 2:46 PM

Jay, you've made me wish, once again,that Helena Bonham Carter was my eccentric older neighbour who has eight cats and often goes out in her bag lady outfit but can also look extraordinary on a whime

*sigh*

I just love Helena.

and OH! Alan Cumming!!! Cant I borrow him Jessie??

He's ever so wonderful


Would Buster Keaton be considered freaky hot? Or just hot? Or just freaky?

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 2:50 PM

To Nadine - Of course!! You can have Alan C. on the nights I'm with Alan R. Hmmmm, maybe it's the name, I just noticed that. Anyway, I'm not selfish!

I think Buster Keaton is hot, too.

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 2:54 PM

ahem *was hot*

Sorry. Trying to sneak on too much at work. LOL

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 2:56 PM

Jessi! Yaaaay!!thank you very much madam. I shall make him sing for me!

And *sigh* isnt he dreamy?

I weirded out my silent film module lecturer by going all school girl crushie over Buster

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 2:57 PM

SAAAARRSGAAAAAAAAAARD!

I'd still stay away from him. He has rape face. did you WATCH "Boys Don't Cry"? eeek.

Mmmm Jeff Goldblum. All dressed up in black leather leaning over you whispering dirty things in my ear....oooooooooof. Oh I've got shivers.

And the wall visual and Gary Oldman. Oh yes pleaaaaase.

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2008 3:05 PM

Anna, I would let Adrian Brody do me with his nose.

Seriously, he is hot.

Could this spawn yet another random list? With whose body part would you allow yourself some nastiness?

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 3:06 PM

Nadine: Definitely Angelina Jolie - her face should be gorgeous, but between the forehead and the lips...

And I totally agree on JR's mouth, though I'm sure the boys go for that.

I've got to think about the men.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 3:10 PM

And I totally agree on JR's mouth, though I'm sure the boys go for that.

No, her and Kyra Sedgwick? Yuck.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 3:13 PM

Oooh! OOOOh! Adrien Brody! totally!

You know I've watched the horrible "Affair of the Necklace" like 40 times just for that one scene where he's in the bed and he grabs a chocolate and gives it a sloooow lick for the buxomy maid to see and holy godtopus, it's the hottest thing I have EVER seen.

Wow. These posts bring out the worst (best?) in me.

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2008 3:14 PM

Cindy! Noooo!!!!! Adrien Brody, aaargh, *giggles like a shcool girl* His nose?! I am scandalised!!! thats a hooter and a half!!!

And Figgy, yes, i did watch Boys Dont Cry...I shall NOT be discussing my thoughts on Sarsgaard within it because either the rabid militant feminists will tear me limb from limb or i'll be hauled off to the crazy house.

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:16 PM

Nadine - completely dreamy.

Don't sweat it. We watched 'Night of the Hunter' in humanities class and I got the silent treatment when I announced Robert Mitchum's hotness...murderer or not. I kept silent during Rocky Horror for fear of retribution on sharing my Rif-Raf/Frankenfurter sandwich fantasies.

Buster had GREAT cheekbones. I think the jealousy factor is part of the lust. (grin)

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 3:21 PM

Cindy, right?! Jolie just freaks me out with how she looks, not in the good way of the hot men on this list (and some of the women) but the 'aaaaaaargh !!unclean !!Uncleaaaaaaaaan keep it away!!!!' type of way


Raul Julia and Angelica Huston as the Addams' mama and papa....so totally freaky hot

I'm watching Addams Family Values right now and it makes me sad they wheren't ACTUALLY a couple and Ricci wasn't ACTUALLY their daughter


That would rule.

Rule HARD

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:22 PM

Jessi you're living in my brain aren't you?


Yep. Frank/Rif-Raf sandwiches haunted my dreams ...still do....mmm yes

Pfft...man can murder all he likes when he looks like that...mrowl mitchum. Mrowl

And yes, Buster did...and those sleepy, sad eyes? *sigh* again

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:25 PM

So...I'm the only one that eyes Peter Stormare in an inappropriate manner?

Posted by: Anne at October 29, 2008 3:27 PM

Anne..........no

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:31 PM

I have the powerful lusty/wrong feelings for Steve Buscemi. I can't explain it, especially since he is several decades older than I, but I just can't shake it either.

Other than that, yeah I agree with everyone on this list but would add Lukas Haas from yesterday's list. Come to think of it, he shares a certain... quality with Buscemi. A skiny, gangly, rat-like, bug-eyed, sexy quality.

Posted by: darwinfox at October 29, 2008 3:32 PM

A list like this without a Spader is totally without merit.

Posted by: Melissa Church at October 29, 2008 3:40 PM

I watch Airheads just for Buscemi. Yes, he's been in WAY better movies, but I love him with the long hair. Go figure. However, my younger sister (she's 22, I'm 34) would happily beat my ass for a piece of him, so you aren't alone.

Nadine - you make me feel so much better about my taste for odd men. Matter of fact, this whole thread is making me quite chipper.

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 3:44 PM

As I type, Gomez is giving Morticia the unbelievably sultry eyes that make me feel all....i cant even say,just....aye papi....

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:46 PM

Thank you, Nadine. I feel better now. His part in Constantine is the definition of nasty-hot for me.

Melissa Church, total agreement. Spader, along with Goldblum, Bill Nighy and Gabriel Byrne have the kind of voices that are totally unfair to wield on unsuspecting, hearing public.

Posted by: Anne at October 29, 2008 3:50 PM

aaw Jessi its my honour to make you feel better =)

And HA, omg, Buscemi with the long hair and rockin out!? Man now i NEED to watch Airheads again. A lot.

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:50 PM

I nominate Cillian Murphy. He has super pale shark eyes, yet there's something sexy about him in a "I might kiss you or torture you til you die" sorta way.

Posted by: Fuzz at October 29, 2008 3:52 PM

Hey Anne, no problem =)

I always feel like no one should feel bad for who they're attracted too...unless its Jacko.

then you're sick.

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 3:53 PM

RE: Airheads. Ummmm, yeah. I like to request the instant movie on Netflix...then mute the computer. Trust me, you don't need the dialog. Even Fraser is still hot in that movie. I can't believe I typed that.

Posted by: jessi1974 at October 29, 2008 3:55 PM

Naw Jessi...its okay...Brendan was hot back in the day...if he gets super buff like he used to be he might just save himself from falling too far into fish skinned grossitude.

But then i do love his voice, i really do

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 4:00 PM

Fuzz, my husband is *aggressively* jealous of Cillian. Largely due to my swooning tendencies when in the presence of those blue eyes. His favorite part of Batman Begins is when Rachel shoots a taser into Scarecrow's face. :(

Nadine, I admit to a crush on Michael in the 1980s. Then I moved on to Janet in the 90s. Now I'm happy to report I've weaned myself off of the Jackson family entirely.

Posted by: Anne at October 29, 2008 4:01 PM

Could this spawn yet another random list? With whose body part would you allow yourself some nastiness?

Posted by: Cindy

Hayden Christensen's Adam's apple + Sofi's chochita = lousily disguised office orgasm

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 4:21 PM

Anne, its okay, I can forgive that, it was back before he touched up little kids and looked like the Crypt keeper gone horribly, horribly wrong


On another note entirely, I can and will not shut up about my LOVE for Angelica and Raul as Morticia and Gomez

And of the lighting on Angelica's face, has anyone seen the Orange advert (dont let a phone ruin your movie) where she has the same lighting and character affectations as Morticia?

Fuckin'Awesome

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 4:21 PM

Im just going to come out with it I Love Simon Cowell, the flat top, the odd middle parting, the smug smile, the way he fellates his biro during auditions I love it all.

David Walliams-even dressed as a woman.

Dave Grohl and Taylor...the drummer-in the 'learn to fly' video dressed as women.
I do love me a freakily sexy man in drag.

Also can we get some love for Jeremy Irons? When I found out his character was the brother of Alan Rickman in Die Hard 3......My mind went to places so dark and dirty Im still a little scared to go back....

Yeah nadines got crazy intense taste in men, we almost never agree.

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 4:28 PM

I do love me a freakily sexy man in drag.

Omg. Omg. nieve, I am pretty sure that we must be related in some way. I love hot guys in drag. Not even kidding about how much. A hot friend of mine came to a Halloween party I had once in a dress. I would not leave him alone. Thank god his girlfriend understands me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 4:32 PM

We agree on Rickman.

Because he is beautiful...specially in the Texas video

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 4:34 PM

Anna...could you be a missing sibling?

ARE YOU THE ONE NIEVE TRIED TO DROWN?

Wait...did some one say Taylor Hawkins in drag?

mmmmm

OH! BY THE WAY has anyone seen Lee Pace in drag? Homyfuckinglord he's pretty

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 4:36 PM

Wow. These posts bring out the worst (best?) in me.

Word.

Cindy! Noooo!!!!! Oh yes girlfriend. But only him - no one else.

Hayden Christensen's Adam's apple + Sofi's chochita = lousily disguised office orgasm

Now that is a new one Sofia. I thought I went all freaky with a nose, and you go where no woman has gone before. I wonder if it's better when he hums?

I do love me a freakily sexy man in drag. Eddie Izzard anyone?

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 4:43 PM

Oh Eddie...*sniff* i miss the riches

Posted by: nadine at October 29, 2008 4:53 PM

Maybe its the eyeliner or the blusher, or the lipstick or possible the dress.....ah hell its all of them
HotGuy+Dress/Make-Up=Oh Oh OOOH
(Thats a scientific equation)

Eddie Izzard is freakily gorgeous especially in heels why do guy always have such great legs in heels?

Anna maybe your the missing link between me and Nadine!! Your love of The Rickman, the attraction to hot cross dressers yeah we could totally be related.

Oh and Nadine your the only sibling I ever tried to drown. Brat.

Im going to throw out a wild one but Ed Westwick (Chuck from Gossip Girl) he look like what I imagine the love child of Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange would look like...vaguely snake-like with with an actual nose and so so so sexy.

Posted by: nieve at October 29, 2008 5:00 PM

Cindy, the humming makes the ride worth it.

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 5:03 PM

damn it Nieve what the hell with the drowning!!

And its because God hates women, he gives men the best legs...what an ass!


And oh Ed Westwick is hawt. I mean i dont watch the show(the first episode where Ed was a FUCKING RAPIST AND NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT) completely and utterly threw me off..that and it sucked


But he's for sure freaky hot.


Um


Bear with me on this but...Warwick Davis.

Willow about stole my heart when i was a lil bit

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 5:10 PM

I realise what I just said coul dbe taken REALLY badly given that Warwick is a little person.


I dont mean it like that AT ALL

I just mean that he's not necassarily considered conventionally attractive....


Ya know...Im not sure i can word this in a way that doesn't make me sound like a douche


I just think he's hot regardless of his stature.

That and i want to be an Elwin.

Elwins are cool. Hobbits though...Hobbits just sort of SUCK

Posted by: Nadine at October 29, 2008 5:14 PM

Two words: Cillian Murphy

Dude is like the definition of freaky-hot. Those blue eyes rape my soul everytime I look at his photo...and I kinda like it.

Posted by: citizen_cris at October 29, 2008 5:15 PM

I didnt like Cillian Murphy at first...i didnt think him ugly...more interesting looking...but not exacty hot, not exacty ugly... until i saw him in uuuum...I cant even remember what, but basically i realised he was an incredible actor and really quite small!!

He's really very slightly built and as Nieve will tell you, I seem to be attracted to shorter men (seth green was my biggest crush for a LONG TIME....still kinda is)

But yeah, once i knew he was on the lil sideI seemed to like him all the more...which is odd and once again, given my earlier statement could mean odd things about my proclivities...

here's one i'd like to know if a lot of peopl even recognise;


Josh Stewart.

Stunning eyes, actually beautiful face on, but clearly a boxer with a nose to show it


and...sort of intense in that rape-y way we seem to be mentioning an awful lot lately

but hot

watch him in Dirt and tell him you dont want to have a freaky dependant, destructive relationship with him while your schizophrenic photographer friend may or may not be stalking you and Josh's girlfriend has a total nervy B

Posted by: nadine at October 29, 2008 5:23 PM

Speaking of hot men in drag, Dame Edna.

Huh? Anyone?

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 5:45 PM

Jeff Goldblum - ew
Gary Oldman - F*CK ME, he is amazing!
Kevin Spacey - You've had my heart and my knickers since American Beauty

And I kind of think Robert Downey Jr deserves this list more than the Pajibans-Drop-Your-Drawers list. He is hot, but in a scary, dirty way.

Posted by: Karma112 at October 29, 2008 6:18 PM

Vince D'Onofrio

...OOhhhhh......

Posted by: :p at October 29, 2008 6:47 PM

YES! Dafoe made it :-)

I'll pass on Spacey and Oldman...don't do it for me at all

V. D'Onofrio (NOW, not when he was young)

Adrian Brody (although he slipped a bit with Hollywoodland...meh)

Cillian Murphy (reasons stated throughout above comments)

Dwight Schrute (NOT Rainn Wilson. He'd have to wear the glasses and pocket protector, stay in character the whole time. I love Dwight.)

Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 29, 2008 6:54 PM

For two years I had a recurring nightmare about my mother marrying Kevin Spacey. To this day I can not look at him without getting the skeevy step-dad vibe off him that I had in that dream.

Posted by: Miz Misanthrope at October 29, 2008 7:37 PM

Wait a minute there - two lists of freaky including eyes and hotness and not one word on Christopher Walken? He is one seriously weird-ass psycho dude and I'd do him in a minute, any way he wanted.

Posted by: funtime42 at October 29, 2008 8:16 PM

Awwww....Jeff Goldblum. I had the funkiest sex dream about him once and I never saw him the same way again. Nerds. Love em.

But I also had a funky ass dream about Richard Dreyfuss once. That was some crazy unconcious thing going on there. Or something. He's not hot at all.

Gary Oldham. Oh yeah....

Posted by: laurie at October 29, 2008 9:22 PM

Vincent Cassel. . .freaky in more ways that one.

And how could I be the first to mention Christopher Eccleston?

Posted by: Valeria at October 29, 2008 9:22 PM

Ok, if someone is going to toss out having a Steve Buscemi crush, then I feel fairly safe with admitting my Billy Bob Thorton attraction. Love that southern accent.

Posted by: BG at October 29, 2008 9:32 PM

duh,
Christina Ricci

Posted by: sushi at October 29, 2008 9:46 PM

Perhaps a more acceptable nominee for this list is Michael Madsen. Fire HOT but with that 'never know if he might kill you after he is done with you' vibe going on...

Posted by: BG at October 29, 2008 9:52 PM

That picture of Kevin Spacey re-renewed the adoration for him that's been dormant in my soul for a while. Wow.

I'm in agreement with Gary Oldman, but he looked his best in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead . Gary Oldman + Tim Roth + existentialism = ooooooh yeah.

Posted by: KatieP at October 29, 2008 10:08 PM

BG- Michael Madsen is a dirty, dirty boy. I think he's too blatantly hot for this thread though. God he's handsome (and crazy).

Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 29, 2008 10:11 PM

Vincent Cassel. . .freaky in more ways that one.

What? That man is just plain hot - there is nothing freaky except the things I want him to do to me.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 10:24 PM

Simon Pegg, anyone?

Posted by: Sunnybuns at October 29, 2008 10:27 PM

Speaking of Vincent Cassel (and his wife), has anyone ever been able to watch Irreversible? I've been too chickenshit. Is it as horrifying as the reviews purport?

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 10:30 PM

Life is too short for a 10 minute rape scene.

To Adequite- that's exactly what I meant by freaky/ hot. He just looks like rough trade in the best possible way. His crooked nose, Gallic glowering stares, and penchant for playing villains do, however, place him in the freaky/hot, as opposed to standard Hollywood hot category.

Uhm, Chris Eccleston is a noser too. I detect a theme.

What's the name of that movie with the deaf woman that he did ages ago? I don's speak zse French so I could not find it on imdb. See it!

Posted by: Valeria at October 30, 2008 12:24 AM

Man. No matter how bad my day gets, you people and this place is like a hot bath and a stiff drink.

I won't ever leave now that Jeff Goldblum has made it to the top of a freaky-hot list. This is my home, where my heart dwells forever, trolloping along in unity and peace forevermore.

Godtopus be with you. Oh, and also with you over there.

Posted by: replica at October 30, 2008 12:29 AM

I would let Kevin Spacey asphyxiate me with those gorgeous biceps, throw me against that wall and Mmmmmmhhmmmmmmmm.

Why do all my fantasies have me being restrained in them? Perhaps this is something I should receive counselling for...or simply just get my boyfriend to use the cuffs again.

Posted by: popejenn at October 30, 2008 1:51 AM

Cindy! Your reaction to Vincent Cassel is verbatim mine!

That man i sjust.....i mean DAYUMN

Posted by: nadine at October 30, 2008 4:46 AM

This page will go nicely in this week's love letter to Mr Goldblum. I will print it off, making sure to highlight my comment in glitter and sparkles, and fed ex it to his house poste haste.

My plan, it is working.

Posted by: Raisin'Cookies at October 30, 2008 5:55 AM

This page will go nicely in this week's love letter to Mr Goldblum. I will print it off, making sure to highlight my comment in glitter and sparkles, and fed ex it to his house poste haste.

My plan, it is working.

Posted by: Raisin'Cookies at October 30, 2008 5:56 AM

This page will go nicely in this week's love letter to Mr Goldblum. I will print it off, making sure to highlight my comment in glitter and sparkles, and fed ex it to his house poste haste.

My plan, it is working.

Posted by: Raisin'Cookies at October 30, 2008 5:57 AM

Thank you Nadine; I know my radar can't be that fucked up. Nor Monica Bellucci's.

Posted by: Cindy at October 30, 2008 10:03 AM

Y'all should have posted a picture of The Fly for Goldblum.

Posted by: Lucas at October 30, 2008 10:10 AM

To Cindy and Nadine- I meant freaky Hawt of course. The man is sex on toast.His crooked nose, Gallic glowering stares, and penchant for playing villains do, however, place him in the freaky/hot, as opposed to standard "Hollywood" hot category.

Posted by: Valeria at October 30, 2008 10:19 AM

I feel like we're at the best Pajibian slumber party ever! Too bad none of these guys were listening in the next room!

Posted by: scorzi at October 30, 2008 5:14 PM

Kevin Spacey looks hot in that pic...he is gay so any woman who have hopes just know that he is quite the kinky dish in that regard (or so I've heard!)...

Posted by: ph at October 30, 2008 5:29 PM

Kevin Spacey...think he is so sexy. I have another one to add to this list...Cary Elwes. I have always found him to be insanely hot. And Ewan McGregor...LOVE HIM!

Posted by: Ari at November 8, 2008 1:31 AM