Seriously Random Lists |
October 28, 2008 | Comments (131)
5. Jackie Earle Haley: I’ll admit his inclusion on this list has a lot to do with his role in Little Children, but come on: The guy actually looks like a pedophile. A skeevy fucking child-molesting skeeve. He’s also set to play Walter Kovacs/Rorschach in Watchmen, and from what I gather, that character is a mentally unstable right-wing nutjob. Jackie Earle Haley is perfect.
4. Willem Dafoe: The fourth spot had to go to one of three people, any of which would’ve felt at home on this list: Dafoe, Christopher Walken, or Mickey Rourke. Rourke, I feel, is more befitting of a “Five Ugliest” (or even Ugly Hot) list, while Walken is more kooky than freaky. Dafoe, arguably, is more creepy than freaky. But whether he’s playing Jesus Christ or Schreck in Shadow of the Vampire, dude totally gives me the heebies.
3. Elijah Wood: He seems like a nice enough guy, but those eyes. Those eyes! I think I read somewhere that Charles Manson had the same eyes as the Russian mystic, Rasputin. I think Elijah Wood has those same eyes. I’m not saying it’s gonna happen, but if Elijah Wood ever goes on a murderin’ spree, I won’t be surprised.
2. Lukas Haas: You don’t see Haas in a lot of films anymore, but when he is, he’s always memorably freaky. He was a cute child actor, but as an adult, he looks exactly like the type of fella who would procure sex through dishonorable means. Actually, I think that Haas is more of a watcher. And that makes him even creepier. He looks like the kind of guy that’d ask you to make love to your wife while he stood idly by playing the piano with a blank expression on his face.
1. Crispin Glover: I don’t think that Glover would ever harm anyone. But he might approach a stranger, pin her against a wall, and lick her repeatedly. I think this video pretty much sums up Crispin Glover:
Hey, what about Steve Buscemi?
I guess he's just kinda funny lookin'
Posted by: pianofilledwithflames at October 28, 2008 4:35 PM
He's also set to play Walter Kovacs/Rorschach in Watchmen, and from what I gather
From what you gather?
Read the damn comic already Rowles, there's no excuse not to
Posted by: cockroach at October 28, 2008 4:35 PM
Clint Howard. CLINT HOWARD!!! Do you not remember the VHS cover of Ice Cream Man???
I still have nightmares.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 4:37 PM
stoopid italics tags not working
Posted by: cockroach at October 28, 2008 4:37 PM
I remember when Crispin Glover was engaged to Courtney Peldon...I was really looking forward to the wacked out, attention-hungry, craziness that would have been their wedding :(
Posted by: Renee at October 28, 2008 4:38 PM
Not really Hollywood but... Carrot Top. That mother fucker is creepy. Its like Wendy and Stallone had a lovechild with a side of Chucky from the value menu.
Posted by: Admin11 at October 28, 2008 4:40 PM
Elijah Wood already went on a killing spree, he killed several hookers and feasted on their flesh, thank god Mickey Rourke put him down.
Wow, Hayley looks perfect for Rorschach, a man who drowns a crime boss to death in a toilet, awesome.
Posted by: George at October 28, 2008 4:42 PM
What about Tobey McGuire? He should be listed as Elijah Woods' twin anyway.
Mickey Rourke was actually hot when he was young and before plastic surgery overtook his life. Same for Christopher Walken. So you definitely picked right with Willem DaFoe. But DaFoe has that odd ugly-but-sometimes-hot thing going, not unlike young, pre-plastic surgery Gene Simmons. Dudes! Stop with the plastic-face-redo, please!
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2008 4:43 PM
But you forgot to include that Jackie has ALWAYS looked freaky.
Eric Roberts has a bit of a sex offender look. Definitely creepy.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 4:43 PM
Mickey Rourke Addendum: I mean, what chick didn't want to be Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks?
And another thing...who are your freaky-but-he-still-might-be-hot dudes?
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2008 4:47 PM
Steve Buscemi! If I were to see him live somewhere, I'd freak the hell out. And Peter Stormare, who looks like he smells of vodka and is going to rape you. Those two in Fargo? eeek.
I'd also nominate Peter Saaarrrsgaaaarrrrd for having the dead murderous eyes and a voice that will haunt your nightmares.
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 4:51 PM
And another thing...who are your freaky-but-he-still-might-be-hot dudes?
Gary Oldman...he scares me, and yet I still want him to pin me against a wall.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 4:52 PM
Cindy: Jeff Goldblum for me. The guy looks like a complete whackjob, but I still find him attractive. Weirds me out.
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 4:53 PM
And Peter Stormare, who looks like he smells of vodka and is going to rape you.
HA! It's funny because it's true.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 4:53 PM
yeah Buscemi (as much as I love him) and Clint Howard were the first two that popped into my mind before I even opened up this post. But I will give you Jackie Earle Haley. I just recently got around to watching Little Children and that scene in the car with his blind date gave me nightmares. I get the icks thinking about it right now.
Posted by: MG at October 28, 2008 4:53 PM
Tim Curry is a bit creepy too. Was anyone else as creeped out as I was by the Duke in Moulin Rouge?
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 4:54 PM
Living out here in california,the KOBE is so RAT FACED ILMAO every Laker game....creepy yes!
Posted by: pasadenamike at October 28, 2008 4:55 PM
Clint Howard was in my office a couple weeks ago. He didn't look as odd to me as he does in the movies.
Elijah Wood accidentally flicked a cigarette on me, but he apologized. He is a good guy and also not quite as weird-looking as this photo makes him look.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 28, 2008 4:59 PM
Oh Julie, I'd do him in a half a heartbeat. He doesn't scare me either.
And figgy, I think I can get down with Jeff - but he has to have some scruff going.
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2008 5:00 PM
Freaky-but-hot for me goes to Kevin Spacey. Even if he likes to bone boys too.
Posted by: MG at October 28, 2008 5:02 PM
I just recently got around to watching Little Children and that scene in the car with his blind date gave me nightmares.
And yet somehow at the end, I felt so profoundly sorry for him.
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2008 5:04 PM
Figgy, Sarsgaard is freaky looking but imo he falls into the realm of freaky hot...like yeah he has dead eyes and is even a bt threatening in an 'gets under the skin' kind of way....but thats alright and maybe you wouldn't mind it...SO much.
What about Zach Braff? Anyone?
He looks like someone took his head and twisted when the clay was still wet
And Angelina Jolie.
I know a lot of people...MANY people will disagree with me on her hotness(we all know she sucks other wise...least I do) but IMO, she's...I just think she's freaky looking.
But oh, no one more so than Bree off Desperate Housewives(forget her real name) that woman is carved of wax and has the features of an alien.
I'm surprised Ron Perlman isn't on this list (even though I love Perlman...and most people on this list barring Elijah and that dude from Brick) He's pretty freaky looking...but then I suppose with Perlman, if you insult him there's the possibility he'll turn up on your doorstep and kill you with sarcasm
And his might fists PERLMAN SMASH!
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:05 PM
Oh,the things I would do to Kevin Spacey if he was at all interested. Why do I always want the ones who would have no interest in me?
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:06 PM
Cindy...I have too many answers for that question.(Freaky but might still be hot)
Seriously.
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:08 PM
Jonathan Rhys Meyers definitely belongs on a freaky-but-hot list. Dude's good-looking, but those cold, dead eyes of his... *shudder*.
One could say the same for Cillian Murphy, too.
Posted by: Todd at October 28, 2008 5:09 PM
who are your freaky-but-he-still-might-be-hot dudes?
Jeff Goldblum definitely tops that list for me. I want to eat him with a spoon. But part of me does acknowledge his inherent freakiness.
I also am strangely attracted to Steve Buscemi, probably because of the geeky-smart vibe he gives off.
I'd totally do Willem Dafoe, too. Although the photo of him that accompanies this article makes him look like a slightly more deranged version of Jim Carrey.
Posted by: Whitney at October 28, 2008 5:10 PM
Becks...yours is a pain i know all to well
let us drown our sorrows over rum and ...some form of snack
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:12 PM
Gary Busey has to be in the same category as Willem Dafoe and Mickey Rourke.
Why aren't there any freaking looking motherfucking chicks on this list?
Posted by: AM at October 28, 2008 5:13 PM
See, Willem Dafoe is for sure freaky hot...enough so that his drag appearance in Boondock Saints got me all kinds of confused
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:14 PM
Oh, I think Elijah Wood is cute. He's just a very small man, so that's why his eye's look so big. Like puppies.
Personally, I was freaked out by the current Ron Howard video about voting for Obama. When Ron's wearing the wig, I'm perfectly comfortable with the Opie voice, but as soon as he pulled the wig off, I was, "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Put it back on! Put it back on!"
Posted by: BWeaves at October 28, 2008 5:15 PM
Jonathan Rhys Meyers....YES! You've captured it exactly Todd.
Nadine, I would have to suggest cheesecake. It always solved every relationship problem on the Golden Girls.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:16 PM
The following people are freaky:
Ann Hathaway, looks like a dude.
Orlando Bloom who's allegedly a dude, looks like a girl.
Natalie Portman looks like a little dude.
Cameron Diaz, what the FUCK is going there?
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 5:17 PM
It seems all I do around here these days are comment on what actors make me totally hot (hey, I'm newly single, alright?), but I can't not say how much I want to do dirty, dirrrrty things to Peter Sarsgaard.
Also, I know that I at least am trying to forget that he exists, but there can't be a discussion of freaky-looking actors without a mention of Vincent Gallo. He's the guy you desperately try to avoid making eye contact with on te street, lest you somehow set him off and he starts babbling about New World Order and 9/11 and then finally stabs you.
Posted by: Mimi at October 28, 2008 5:19 PM
Cameron Diaz is occasionally hot, but with bad skin.
Hathaway and Jolie would be on the lady hot but freaky list, I think.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:20 PM
Ooooh John Rhys Meyers, totally!!
and Becks, Im up for that, those girls who where golden knew their men troubles.
What about, Giovanni Ribisi ( I think he's hot but undeniably odd looking)...though, his body is ripped, as my name is Earl has taught me, time and glorious time again.
Does Paris Hilton count? Cos she has that droopy eye and a total cocknose
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:21 PM
figgy: "I'd also nominate Peter Saaarrrsgaaaarrrrd for having the dead murderous eyes and a voice that will haunt your nightmares."
HAHHAHHAHHAHAHA. His "dead murderous eyes" have always weirded me out. He always looks sleepy; like he just took a bunch of downers and would keep you strapped to his bathtub while masturbating on the toilet.
Wow...that was a really strange visual.
Posted by: NotBlonde at October 28, 2008 5:21 PM
UGHH! Nadine, those scenes were just all kinds of wrong. Especially the one where he's writhing on the floor and you can see his tighty whiteys through the panty-hose. Like a car accident it was. A gory, cross dressing, sausage filled car accident.
Posted by: Admin11 at October 28, 2008 5:22 PM
Dustin, I love these random list posts of yours, and particularly how I love that you don't defend your lists. It's like, "you know what? my opinion speaks for itself. this is what i think, and 'nuff said." Even this list, while having a blurb after each picture, doesn't necessarily defend itself so much as clarify each choice, like saying you listed Elijah Wood for the Rasputiny eyes.
I guess what I'm saying is, I like your confidence in your opinions of all things great and small in the world of film, because I like these little lists that you can put out in a matter of minutes in order to provide me with more frequent entertainment throughout the day.
Posted by: Nikki at October 28, 2008 5:23 PM
Notblonde, I love your wording there =) strapped TO his bathtub...like...Into it or just to it?
Cos it makes for an interesting encounter if its strapped to it but with some give on the strap so you can move around...cos I would honestly be all over Sarsgaard if he and I where locked in a room together.
It was a strange visual for sure...but a sort of hot visual
Oh oh, freaky but hot women, the wonderful Maggie 'I married from one odd name to another' Sarsgaard Photosynthesis Pewterschmidt Gylenhaal
Girl looks a little like she'd be Sarsgaaaaaaaaaards just as insane if not more so accomplice/ bride who would actually be the one to do the killing while Sarsgaard watched and got off on it
And as I type this and think about the pair of them this becomes less and less absurd in my head and now I'm...a little freaked out
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:26 PM
Admin11, i KNOW!! I cant help it though, to me its just incredibly sexy!!! He makes a freaky hot woman, I cant help how I feel.
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:28 PM
What about that Kobayashi character in the Usual Suspects? He was also the twisted doctor in Constant Gardener. Hang on...Imdb: Pete Postlethwaite
I think it's his cheekbones. Heeby jeebies.
I think we're going for murderer, molester crazy not ugly with this list. Ugly would be Buscemi in a heart beat.
Posted by: amanda47 at October 28, 2008 5:28 PM
My sister has met Elijah Wood several times (she's in the music business and he was starting his own label or some shit) and she said his eyes are EVEN FREAKIER in person. Like you want to yell at him to put on dark sunglasses.
Manson and Rasputin had dark eyes, though. Dark, soulless, and deeper than the pits of hell.
Posted by: louveciennes at October 28, 2008 5:32 PM
I hate new episodes of Family Guy, but I definitely laughed when I caught the beginning of an episode last week and Peter said that Steve Buscemi's teeth "were all in business for themsleves."
So true.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:33 PM
Add me to the list of Gals Who Think Buscemi Has a Certain Appeal...I've seen a few pictures of him where he looks more interesting than anything. And his eyes are a pretty blue. Plus he's awesome in interviews. And movies. And he's a Brooklyn to the core, my best friend lived a few blocks from him and apparently he was really friendly.
Nevermind, add me to the list of Gals Who Think Buscemi's Personality and General Awesomeness Overcome Certain Genetic Sorrows And Therefore I Would Bang Him.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 5:34 PM
Oh are the Pajiba women getting pervy?
When did that start happening?
(yeah, like it's just women here, you know I'm kidding about singling you out. Y'all so dirty'n'crazy everywhere)
How sad is it that I'm attracted to four out of five guys on this list? I need to see a shrink.
Posted by: Pheagan at October 28, 2008 5:38 PM
Julie, best name for the list EVER.
ALso, yeah, add me to that cos i fucking LOVE Buscemi and that man has a hotness all his own
I cant decide if Jeremy Renner is freaky hot or just straight up Fine Ass Sexy 'I would lick him clean' hot?
Cos I mean...I even thought he was hot when he played Dahmer...super hot, actually, with his psychosis and those grey eyes....
I think my list of guys are more...Actually hot but psychotic looking...Neal McDonough is ragingly hot (and possible made of marble?) but freaks me right out with the OH SO BLUE EYES AND SORT OF QUIETLY SIMMERING AT ALL TIMES RAGE
Aaron Stanfords another one, actually hot, but looks dead behind the eyes when he wants to which...is just plenty unsettling
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 5:39 PM
I live in New York so you see all the actors/actresses walking around without their "star"ness on. Cameron Diaz I met on Wall Street and she had a girl next door feel to her (extremely tall!) but had bad skin around her chin. Steve Buschemi used to be a volunteer firefighter at the firehouse near my coworker's place, so I like to think of him as the ugly but loveable family dog. Willem Dafoe I ran into in the West Village as I was talking on the phone and he was walking with a bag of groceries. He looked normal in person (less pasty faced) and gave a smile and head nod, and before I could stop myself I was staying into the phone "Mom! Willem Dafoe is walking by, he's walking, walking, walking, he's gone now." I couldn't even turn around cause I felt like an idiot but I could hear him laughing.
I love Kevin Spacey. I think he'd be into BDSM but be polite about it, you know?
Posted by: scorzi at October 28, 2008 5:44 PM
Why is this list only gentlemen? You mysogineristes!
Here's my ladies:
• Linda Hunt - She was a recurring judge on The Practice. I believe the costume designer character in The Incredibles was based on her. Why her? She's a human turtle. She looks like she might live in a crawlspace and eat bugs. Another notable human turtle would be Diane Keaton. The difference? I'd bone Keaton if I was drunk...
• Jocelyn Wildenstein - Guh. This is the face serial killers see when they masturmabate before heading out for a night on the town. Imagine Brundlefly dumping some broad, a boatload of make-up and a stray, inbred cat together in a Telepod. Yeesh...
• Carmen Electra - Say what you will, but I think she looks like the stabby type - as in she'd stab you repeatedly after you accidentally walked into the john to catch shaking the last two drops of whiz off her dinkle.
• Tilda Swinton - Great actress. But creeeepy. She looks like the type of lady who digs collecting skin. Imagine waking up in a state of paralysis and seeing her straddling your knees while drawing Flesh-Cheeto blueprints on your belly...
• The Joan of Arcadia lady. For the same reasons as Braff. She looks like the oven went off before she was fully cooked. There'll be no traveling in my pants Meltyface!
(P.S. No offense to any of you ladies. I have the utmost respect for all of you and your craft. Except for you, Wildenstein - you creep me Right. The. Fuck. Out. Do you own mirrors? does anyone say "Hey Joyce? Let's go to TGI Fridays instead of the surgeon this weekend, 'kay? We'll get some poppers! I'll even be your mama bird and help you chew 'em!")
Posted by: Skitz at October 28, 2008 5:44 PM
I miss Vincent Schiavelli.
Posted by: causaubon at October 28, 2008 5:44 PM
Speaking of blue eyes, I believe that four of the five (I think Haas is brown-eyed) on this list are of the pale eyed variety. As is Buscemi. And McDonough. And Rhy Myers. And Maggie Gyllenhaal. Interesting.
As a teal-eyed girl I take offense to the notion that we with the recessive genes are crazier and less attractive and vow to beat anyone who says so with a dildo wrapped in barbed wire.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 5:48 PM
Second the Gallo, Mimi.
Posted by: Eep at October 28, 2008 5:50 PM
Jeff Goldblum is MINE, y'all.
My years spent worshipping him in highschool, making posters from pictures of him printed off his ancient fansite (10 years ago, people) and staying up all night watching every movie he's ever been in (only the first half of The Fly, because my eternal love does not extend to gross fly face) while getting hyped up on caffienated beverages and giant pixie sticks make me his number one fan and deserving of his adoration.
Right? RIGHT??!?
Posted by: Raisin'Cookies at October 28, 2008 5:50 PM
She looks like she might live in a crawlspace and eat bugs.
HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 5:50 PM
hahaha, Linda Hunt.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:51 PM
Julie, I feel like you're always laughing at the same things I am. Besties!
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 5:52 PM
Linda Hunt also played a man in some old movie, I believe. I think pre-anti-Semitic Mel Gibson was in it? And she was even nominated for an Oscar, maybe?? Anyone? Bueller?
Posted by: louveciennes at October 28, 2008 5:54 PM
Besties!
Hee! BFF4EVA!
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 5:57 PM
Also, is Jocelyn Wildenstein actually "in Hollywood"? I thought she was just famous for being a rich, crazy white lady who's had an ungodly amount of plastic surgery and for showing up on "unfortunate plastic surgery" websites, who just happens to live in Los Angeles.
Posted by: louveciennes at October 28, 2008 5:58 PM
Wait, that was redundant. I CAN'T EVEN GET MY FAKE TWEENER SPEAK RIGHT!!!
:runs away sobbing, masturbates to Living in Oblivion:
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 5:59 PM
Skitz, come on, Joan of Arcadia over Joan Van Ark? That's crazy talk.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:01 PM
Yeah, and what the hell is going on with Melanie Griffith's face?
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 6:01 PM
:runs away sobbing, masturbates to Living in Oblivion:
Julie, its like you're living my life man.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:02 PM
Becks, are you also eating a honeycrisp apple and listening to the new Kings of Leon*? Because that would freak my shit out.
*Thanks PissBoy
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2008 6:07 PM
I love Elijah Wood's eyes. Although I didn't particularly agree with North.
What the fuck was that video? That's like, three steps creepier and two notches less entertaining than Walken in Weapon of Choice.
Posted by: Kash at October 28, 2008 6:12 PM
HOLY MACARONI! I totally forgot Joan Van Ark! Thanks, becks - I owe you a soda...
You know what I see when I see Joan Van Ark? Remember Zelda from Pet Semetary? Van Ark is Zelda had Zelda not gone all Mr. Pretzel. Van Ark is what Marc Anthony would look like if he dressed up as an old white woman. Van Ark has virtually no fatty tissue anywhere in her face - there's skin stretched beyond the point God intended, followed by hard, angular bone. If you were to throw a fork at Van Ark's face, there'd be a metallic "chink" as it bounced off her face. However, you wouldn't be alive long enough tell your pals. Why? 'Cause that creepy skeleton woman moves fluidly among the shadows and would have sucked the spinal-fluid out through your eyeballs before you'd even had the chance to ask for another set of silverware...
Posted by: Skitz at October 28, 2008 6:12 PM
Skitz: "• Linda Hunt . I believe the costume designer character in The Incredibles was based on her. Why her?"
No, sorry. The costume designer in The Incredibles was based on Edith Head, who was a very famous Hollywood costume designer. And yes, the character looked just like her, only shorter.
Posted by: BWeaves at October 28, 2008 6:13 PM
If you meant painting my fingernails and listening to a truly awful new Hilary Duff song that my friend just sent me then yes I am doing that.
And if you meant that, whoa that's creepy. Like Linda Hunt creepy.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:14 PM
What about the guy with the twitchy eyes? He was in Deadwood season 2 for a few episodes, X-Files was the first place I saw him years ago, loads of stuff of single TV episode appearences. Heavyset chap with eyes that can't stay focused , or should I say are always twitching around so he nearly always plays a baddie. Oddness.
Hey and if Madonna doesn't qualify as weird looking our calibration scale is off.
Posted by: Donal at October 28, 2008 6:17 PM
Skitz, you should probably also consider me to be a creepy female because for the last couple of weeks I think I might be your biggest fan.
I'm like the Kathy Bates to your James Caan.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:18 PM
I'm like the Kathy Bates to your James Caan.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:18 PM
------------------------------------------------
Don't forget to break his ankles.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 6:21 PM
Donal, I believe you're referring to Pruitt Taylor Vince? He has a condition called nastygmus, that's why his eyes twitch. It is kinda freaky-looking.
If I could just harness the area of my brain that stores all this useless trivial shit I could probably cure cancer.
Posted by: louveciennes at October 28, 2008 6:23 PM
Don't laugh Slim, you're next, I've loved you since Dlisted.
I think you actually may be the reason I stayed here, though I can't quite remember. I think I came for the firecrotch and stayed for the BarbadoSlim.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:24 PM
Donal, I know who you mean, wasn't he in house recently?
Great actor but yeah, he has a condition that means his eyes constantly move, he was in ...crap, the Jeffrey Donovan remake of the show that was british..eugh...anyway, he was in that and the shakey eyes made for an awesome effect, since he played a totally delusional dude who thought real life was a dream he was having...so, big crazy eyes, yeah
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2008 6:26 PM
What? No one finds John Malkovich creepy? Dude scares the shit out of me.
I think it was Year of Living Dangerously that Linda Hunt played a man with Mel Gibson in his pre-insane years. But I could be wrong.
Posted by: Lori at October 28, 2008 6:28 PM
Linda Hunt played a man in The Year of Living Dangerously. It was a good movie, but then, I'm partial to most Sigourney Weaver movies. And early Mel Gibson (Gallipoli, anyone?).
Posted by: Wednesday at October 28, 2008 6:28 PM
Don't laugh Slim, you're next, I've loved you since Dlisted...."
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:24 PM
Awwww, that's sweet, it's a shame I'll probably need to get a restraining order...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 6:32 PM
Don't worry, I have a sprained ankle right now anyway so I'm just an internet stalker. Once I can walk again I'll probably lose interest.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:35 PM
I had thought that the designer was based on Anna Wintour, pre-bleach. Maybe it's both with a new accent. I only saw it once, I don't remember anything about it.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at October 28, 2008 6:46 PM
Soooo, sorry if this is too soon after the Colts had their asses handed to them last night, but Peyton Manning looks like he was born into a brick wall. He's not an actor, whatever whatever, fuck yourself. Those MasterCard commercials are great.
Posted by: Kash at October 28, 2008 6:51 PM
Willem Dafoe might be freaky lookin, but the man is also hung like a horse :-)
Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 28, 2008 6:52 PM
Be Adequite! Where do you get your information?
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 6:56 PM
mmmm..hmmmm...I'll never tell
I always pick the weirdly hot ones. Or fat ones. I'll take Tony Soprano or Cillian Murphy over BPitt ANYDAY...or Dafoe for that matter ;-)
Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 28, 2008 7:00 PM
And what's with Jessica Biel's mouth? Very high teeth to lip ratio there.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 7:39 PM
I so love saying Saaaarrrsgaaaarrrrd.
I second whoever said Angelina Jolie up there. She looks like she might eat you. And not in the good way. Brr.
Madonna, too.
Donal: Brad Dourif? he's a real weirdo. Played Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings. Ooooozes creep.
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 7:42 PM
And what's with Jessica Biel's mouth? Very high teeth to lip ratio there.
-----------------------------
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 7:39 PM
I think the more appropriate question is:
Does said ratio ,when compared to mouth size, affect any "performance" characteristics?
Posted by: Admin11 at October 28, 2008 7:42 PM
Does said ratio ,when compared to mouth size, affect any "performance" characteristics?
Posted by: Admin11 at October 28, 2008 7:42 PM
-----------------------------------------
Mmmmmm...indeed *ponders*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 7:47 PM
Ooh ooh. Is anyone else terrified by Keira Knightley's jaw?
IT WILL POKE YOUR EYES OUT
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 7:49 PM
Keira Knightly was creepier before she bought lips.
Posted by: becks at October 28, 2008 7:57 PM
Ooh ooh. Is anyone else terrified by Keira Knightley's jaw?
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 7:49 PM
----------------------------------------------
The year was 1992, a young man of pronounced chin from Teddington Greater London by the name of Kieran McDonald decided his inner "female soul" needed to be liberated of its male shell. He went to one of the best secret clinics leftover after the Soviet-Bloc collapsed under the weight of history and failed economic policies.
Two years later "Keira Knightley" appears on the scene.
TRUE. STORY.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2008 8:03 PM
Hey, why doesn't Slim ever win Eloquent Eloquence? Has he already and now is just disqualified? OR IS HE A STAFF MEMBER! Conspiracize, Pajibans. End the lies.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 28, 2008 8:58 PM
How about Meg Tilley and her sister (can't remember her name). Kind of weird looking.
Posted by: julia at October 28, 2008 9:06 PM
I'll take Tony Soprano or Cillian Murphy over BPitt ANYDAY...or Dafoe for that matter
See now, this is one thing I could never understand about the Sopranos. Why did all those chicks want to fuck Tony? He skeeved me right the heck out. Blech. Power wouldn't do it either.
Let's talk music men. Peter Murphy anyone?
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2008 9:09 PM
While I agree with you completely, Cillian Murphy so should have been on this list. The man is physically incapable of playing someone who is not a serial killer.
Posted by: dsbs (aka Donna Sherman) at October 28, 2008 9:10 PM
Whitney and Raisin'Cookies,
!!!!! Holy...um...MOLY!!!!!
Jeff Goldblum makes me go all hot zombie...always has...you know the scene in Annie Hall, right? DAYUM!
Can we be Pa'Besties?
Posted by: replica at October 28, 2008 9:21 PM
Before I even clicked on this article, I immediately thought, "Steve Buscemi." I'm surprised he didn't make the cut. Too obvious?
You know who else comes to mind? Marc Anthony, aka Skeletor.
Posted by: Melissa at October 28, 2008 9:24 PM
How about Meg Tilley and her sister (can't remember her name).
Brad Dourif
Udo Kier
Bill Nighy
Christopher Lee
Willem Dafoe
Steve Buschemi
Helena Bonham Carter
Jennifer Coolidge
Vern Troyer
Whoopi Goldberg
Kathy Najimy
George Lucas-present day
Peter Jackson
person known as China Doll
Gary Busey
Joan Rivers
Jay Leno
Bam Margera
Posted by: Sushi at October 28, 2008 9:28 PM
Oh, Edith Head makes sense. Maybe the character is an amalgam of curt, petite fashion designers--that's a long list.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at October 28, 2008 9:38 PM
Illeana Douglas is strange-looking as is Debi Mazar.
Posted by: samantha t at October 28, 2008 10:05 PM
Slim: I KNEW IT! I *KNEW* it! she's totally a dude! "she" has no boobs and a giant jaw and weird creepy little teeth and just...oh man I knew it. Been telling everyone I know that she's a dude.
HA.
Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2008 10:08 PM
Cindy- In a weird way, TSoprano reminds me of all the good parts of my (dearly departed) father... How fucked up is that?
And yeah, Jeff Goldblum is on that list too. I think it's his deep voice. I could listen to him recite names in a phone book if he so wished (wait, do phone books even EXIST anymore???)
I'm off to track down this Kieran McDonald...BSlim where in the hell did you hear this???
Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 28, 2008 11:26 PM
Mother FUCK, Rowles, but I'm gonna have to get better material than THIS to work with outta you damn writers if I'm gonna stay in the Top 10. You're all worthless and weak this week, so tell you what: Since I do not feel that I was given the material this week to warrant an Eloquent nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the Pajicademy organization, I withdraw my name from contention. In addition, I do not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an Eloquent who was given such materials.
Guess I told YOU.
-- Heigldaddy
Posted by: bucdaddy at October 29, 2008 12:01 AM
In the interest of conversation, I'm going to go ahead and out myself and admit that, yes, I saw The Women, and yes, I thought it was alright.
But this is about more than that, people, so let's not dwell.
This is about Meg Ryan, an actress so formerly goddamned cute that her face could have born a hundred ICanHazTomHanks websites. But now..now, she has had SO much plastic surgery that she's, well, she's just fucking weird looking. In the words of Amy Poehler, she's a boner shrinker, kids.
Her eyes are no longer symmetrical, making her look like she's recently had a stroke or is just beginning to recover from Bell's Palsy. Her cheekbones have been pumped full of something that can only be described as "marshmallowy," and her mouth...dear God. Her lips are more stretched out and puffed up than a William Shatner monologue.
I beg you, Meg. No more surgery. No more botox. Just accept that you're getting older, and we'll still love you. I promise.
Even if you are a homewrecking science project.
Posted by: The Pink Hulk at October 29, 2008 1:01 AM
Am I really the *only* one here that wants to make sweet love to Elijah's eyeballs? I would gouge them out and roll them all over my body.
...MmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMmmmmmmhhhhhhmmmmmmm...
Posted by: popejenn at October 29, 2008 1:28 AM
Gah! Late to the party, but I'm surprised no one mentioned John Hawkes in the strange-looking-yet-doable category.
Posted by: ShinyKate at October 29, 2008 3:02 AM
Elijah's eyes are his greatest assets. But they don't seem to photograph well. Dunno what it is about them ... I think it's the pupil to iris ratio is too small. Like when he steps out into sunlight the pupil becomes proportionally tiny, and all you see is blue iris. Like when Isaac Mendez gets high on Heroes.
Anyone get me?
But for anyone who was a LOTR fan: http://i2.aeri.pl/f/0/44/g/33034.jpg
... how can you NOT want to give that a big ol' bear hug and tell em it's gonna be alright??
Posted by: Lydia at October 29, 2008 3:26 AM
Lori is right John Malkovich is one creepy bastard... Now Billy Bob Thornton, he looks like he'd stick his dick in an eight year old, hell he even has a name that sounds like he should be doing time for being a kiddie fiddler.
Posted by: Colombo at October 29, 2008 7:21 AM
Am I the only one in here who would refuse to be alone in a room wth Joaquin Phoenix? Dude's weird. He has the crazy eyes, y'all.
Posted by: greer at October 29, 2008 7:35 AM
In a weird way, TSoprano reminds me of all the good parts of my (dearly departed) father... How fucked up is that?
Um, er...so you don't really want to fuck him, right? Please say I'm right?
Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 8:29 AM
I actually think Elijah Wood is attractive, but I will say he looks gawdawful in still shots.
I would disagree that it is because of his eyes, however - it's because he smiles like The Church Lady in still shots.
Posted by: Tammy at October 29, 2008 9:08 AM
Let's see. I have disturbing crushes on 3 of the actors in this list (Woods, Haas, and .... wait for it... Crispin Glover. Yes, it's true. I would let him do creepy, dirty things to me.) and also on a number of the freaks mentioned in the comments: Golblum, Rhys Myers, Cilian Murphy, Joaquin Phoenix.
However, I have to say, my most disturbing crush of all has to be Vincent Gallo. He's so gross, and dirty, and skeevy, and creepy looking; and yet, there's just... something about him that makes me want to let him slither all over me, coating me in his grime, and perform unspeakable acts upon my person.
Clearly, I have problems.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 29, 2008 9:15 AM
Oh my GOD, Colombo. I totally blocked Billy Bob Thornton from my mind. I still remember when he and Angie Jolie were all over each other at the oscars many years back....yuck. That's put me off breakfast.
Posted by: Lori at October 29, 2008 9:16 AM
Angie's brother is creepier than Billy Bob, as was their public groping.
Bill Maher is pretty creepy too.
Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 9:28 AM
"...my most disturbing crush of all has to be Vincent Gallo...something about him that makes me want to let him slither all over me, coating me in his grime..."
Wowee - I haven't even eaten anything today, yet somehow you've managed to make me fill my garbage can over half full of vomit. What happened to the AvB I used to know and love?
Posted by: Skitz at October 29, 2008 9:29 AM
"I would let him do creepy, dirty things to me." -- AvB
Hey, that's MY job!
Posted by: bucdaddy at October 29, 2008 9:31 AM
Sometimes I want Willem DaFoe to nibble on me...
Posted by: KHA at October 29, 2008 10:52 AM
Julie I am listening to Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire is the PERFECT song to listen to whilst perusing these comments...
Posted by: KHA at October 29, 2008 11:04 AM
Um, I know a woman who worked for Linda Hunt. She was her personal assistant, and lived with her and her, um, significant other. During the Northridge quake, Linda, my friend, and the "other" all ran out of the house into the street...Linda starkers, and the "other" who sleeps fully dressed, and holding the leashes of their VERY LARGE DOGS.
Weird.
I also want to add Gary Busey's son whathisname and the damn guy who played Malachi in "Children of the Corn" to the this list. And, yeah, Clint Howard scared the hell out of me my whole life. Good thing his brother is a big time director, otherwise he would never work.
Posted by: dammitjanet at October 29, 2008 11:13 AM
Umm...I'm not sure why this hasn't been pointed out...but Tim Curry was not the Duke in Moulin Rouge. If you're familiar with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, it's the same person that plays Professor Moriarty.
And yes, that scene freaked me out so much that the whole film was pretty much ruined for me. This is one of the main reasons why I prefer Chicago.
Posted by: Renee at October 29, 2008 11:52 AM
I was actually suggesting Tim Curry as well as the guy who plays the Duke in Moulin Rouge Renee. Sorry for the confusion.
Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 11:58 AM
Elijah Wood was adorable until about 17 or 18. Cutest kid actor, and also very good. I remember telling my ex that I wanted Elijah to be my child. I know that's a little creepy, but he was truely adorable as a child, I swear. http://www.arnadal.no/film/actors/images/woode5.jpg
Posted by: SilverDeb at October 29, 2008 12:02 PM
This is for anyone who loves Jeff Goldblum:
Check out "Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" and watch the clips with Jeff G. Absolute hilariosity. And he's blue.
I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.
Posted by: Just Amanda at October 29, 2008 2:13 PM
Tony Soprano (a.k.a James Gandolfini) wasn't hot to those women or to me...it was the whole power thing. The power to kill, the power to lead, the power to take what he wanted (money, women, objects, drugs), just the power he had over every one and every thing and God help the person who stood in his way. Yeah I'd let him slap me around for awhile.
Posted by: scorzi at October 29, 2008 2:56 PM
I'm quite surprised Dustin didn't add Emily Deschannel to the list of freaky people considering how much he posted on her eyes on WIMB.
Freaky hot? Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Cillian Murphy, Tilda Swinton (I know...it's hard to explain), Paul Bettany (he looks like an albino...which...freaky), Keanu Reeves (it's the dead eyes).
I like weird-coloured eyes, particularly light colours...I like the weirdness of it. Could be because mine are like black holes. Seriously...no light escapes from my eyes.
Posted by: Joker at October 29, 2008 3:13 PM
Cindy- nah, I'd just let Tony slap my ass a bit...Funny you mention Ray Liotta in the other thread- he's another one of my favorites. Please tell me you've seen Goodfellas, Copland, and Narc!
Posted by: Be Adequite! at October 29, 2008 6:48 PM
My 14 year old said it best,
"Peyton Manning's head is a Giant Tater Tot."
Posted by: Stacy D at October 30, 2008 3:03 PM
Congratulations...thanks to that "Clowny Clown Clown" video, I'll always fear that at my funeral Crispin Glover will be smoking a cigar and mocking my death in rhyme. (And I assure you, he'll probably outlive us all...
Hey, what about Steve Buscemi?
I guess he's just kinda funny lookin'