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Five Things I'm Thankful For: Seriously Pre-Turkey List

By Jodi Smith | Seriously Random Lists | November 25, 2014 |


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Sure, it isn’t quite Thanksgiving here in the states yet, but it’s never too early to sit down and list the things that make you say thanks. Even if those things are all entertainment-related, you Judgey Judgersons.

1. The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Turkey Day Marathon

Beloved creator of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Joel Hodgson is once again streaming 6 episodes of my favorite show ever on Thanksgiving Day. So you can turn on one of your electronic devices of choice at noon, ignore the annoying family members spewing idiotic opinions and stuffing all over the place, and enjoy some riffs and bad movies.

2. Snug-fitting Superhero Costume Technology

Body scans are the secret to making Cap’s ass wiggle while held lovingly in his Cap Pants. This was revealed when Frank Grillo talked about his fitting for his villain Crossbones:

“[Winter Soldier] was only a taste of what’s to come with the next film, and I couldn’t be more humbled and excited. They just kind of called and said, ‘What kind of shape are you in? We’re going to need a body scan.’ They scan your body so that whatever you wear fits you like a glove.”

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3. Continuing Experimentation and Innovation With Movies

It might not be for everyone, but horror is my genre of choice for unwinding. It always pleases me to hear about new ways that people are filming and making my favorite kind of flicks. For example, Jennifer Help Us, a film about a pissed high school student that kidnaps a fellow student, was filmed entirely on an iPhone 4s.

4. I Don’t Have To Review Turd Movies

Like the imaginatively titled Now You See Me: The Second Act (guess what that’s a sequel to!). Or Pan, the re-imagining of Peter Pan starring Hugh Jackman’s terrifying Blackbeard. Ha ha! I leave all of those to TK dole out that punishment! (Make Steven do it. He made me bring him coffee.)

5. This Site and All Of You Weirdos

That’s right. I’m thankful I began reading this site so many years ago and worked up the nerve to comment. That led to nervously adding Lainey on Facebook and slowly expanding my collection of insane Pajibans. I’m still expecting to find out that my gig writing here as all been a long con of some sort, but I can’t quite figure out Dustin’s end game.

Though sometimes our readers may miss the point, make us crazy, and make us want to burn down the world, we wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you, you insane cubic zirconias.
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