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Five "SNL" Skits That'd Have Been Better Ideas for a Movie Than MacGruber

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (21)



natalie-portman-rap.jpg

MacGruber comes out tomorrow, and of all the “SNL” skits, it would seem the least likely candidate for the big-screen treatment. That said, and as Dan’s review can attest, it’s a much funnier movie than you’d expect from the premise. It’s certainly the best “SNL” movie since Wayne’s World, though it suffers from what plagues most “SNL” films: It feels like “an overlong short.” But, as Dan writes, “The film is frequently funny but ultimately insubstantial, offering laughs that last no longer than the sketches that spawned it.”

But, I figure, if you can make a movie out of what is essentially a 90-second skit where th lead character dies at the end of each, then surely you can turn several of the other insubstantial skits into full-length movies. So, here is my proposal for five more “SNL” movies based on some of our favorite skits.

5. Trebek vs. Connery: A buddy comedy about the relationship between Alex Trebek (as played by Will Ferrell) and Sean Connery (as played Darrell Hammond), who decide to become roommates after Trebek is replaced with a younger host on “Jeopardy.” Norm McDonald stars as Burt Reynolds and Zack Galifianakis will play himself. THE HANGOVER meets THE ODD COUPLE.

4. Down by the River: John Goodman takes the role originated by Chris Farley in this dark comedy about a inspirational speaker, Matt Foley, who lives in a van down by the river. Complications ensue when Foley is awarded a massive book deal and has to decide whether to give up his lifestyle or continue to live in a van down by the river. Meryl Streep for the love interest. In the tone of UP IN THE AIR.

3. Omeletteville — A boisterous musical comedy in the vein of DODGEBALL about the competitive world of food mascots, starring Justin Timberlake as the Omeletteville mascot, John C. Reilly as a giant singing hot dog, Isla Fisher as the villainous clam, and Zooey Deschanel as the … ummm … taco. Judi Dench will make a cameo appearance as a competition judge dressed as a Pig for a Gourmet Rib restaurant.

omeletteville.jpg


2. Massive Head Wound Harry — A dark drama along the lines of MIDNIGHT COWBOY, about two prostitutes trying to make it in New York City. One is crippled by a massive head hound, which he works into his hooking routine. Starring Tom Hanks as Massive Head Wound Harry, Damon Wayans as the other male prostitute, and Mickey Rourke as their pimp. A Ridley Scott film.

1. Natalie Raps — In the spirit of BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, Natalie Raps follows Natalie Portman for a single 24-hour period as she drinks, fights, fucks all night, snorts, smokes, smacks the shit out of Jeff Zucker, kills a dog for fun, drives while intoxicated, takes a shit on a man’s face, and slits another man’s throat and pours nitrous down it so she can watch him cry and laugh as he dies. Zack Snyder will direct.









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Comments

Wow does "that'd have been better" sound clunky.

Posted by: AM at May 20, 2010 12:41 PM

Please, PLEASE let that Natalie Portman movie get made. My sweet lord.

Posted by: Snath at May 20, 2010 12:57 PM

Ahhh back when Natalie wasn't sticking her foot in her mouth all the time and making me dislike her.

Posted by: Nimue at May 20, 2010 1:09 PM

That Natalie Portman movie sounds fucking awesome.

Only question: How does the viking play into it?

Posted by: superasente at May 20, 2010 1:09 PM

I was kind of hoping for a movie made out of "Dick in a Box".

But that's just me.

Posted by: UncleJR at May 20, 2010 1:32 PM

Dunno if it counts as a skit but the Lonely Islands Boombox would make an excellent film.

Posted by: Steph at May 20, 2010 1:36 PM

I honestly didn't expect to see any suggestions in the comments, as I was pretty sure no one watch SNL anymore, except to see Betty White or Tina Fey. And for the record, I'd go see any SNL film that had Betty White in it.

Posted by: Xtreme at May 20, 2010 1:55 PM

Ha! Fat chance on these. We'll prolly get a goddamn Gilly movie.

Posted by: EJ at May 20, 2010 2:00 PM

It's so very vexing to find all the hulu embeds which only work for people in USA.

Posted by: Cas at May 20, 2010 2:13 PM

Natalie Raps. Co-starring MC Turd Ferguson, DJ Anal-ist Sean and Town Bicycle, Mrs. Trebek.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2010 2:35 PM

Ahhh back when Natalie wasn't sticking her foot in her mouth all the time and making me dislike her.

Yeah, back before her Burning Bridges Tour 2009. I'd see Natalie Raps if she were contractually forbidden to opine on anything other than the movie during the promotional rounds.

Posted by: stardust at May 20, 2010 2:44 PM

I'd like to see the Natalie Raps/Times Crimes mashup, where 2004 Portman travels in time to warn 2010 Portman about the ass she's making of herself. Then RyRey takes his shirt off and 2040 Portman arrives to tell 2010 Portman that eating meat STILL isn't the same as rape. And that RyRey doesn't wear his shirt in the future, either.

Because why should he?

Posted by: Sofía at May 20, 2010 2:51 PM

We seem to be of one mind of Natalie, so I'm just gonna take that nap now. Later, Skaters.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 20, 2010 4:29 PM

"...and slits another man’s throat and pours nitrous down it so she can watch him cry..."

OK, I'm gonna be worse than the grammar Nazi here - you've been warned.

Nitrous is a gas, and also an anesthetic. I wonder how Natalie would manage to pour it, and why she would spare her victim pain in the midst of a brutal and malicious murder. These are my concerns. Otherwise, the movie sounds very promising.

Posted by: Vince Noir at May 20, 2010 6:19 PM

Vince Noir, I think I love you.

Posted by: Dagon at May 20, 2010 6:44 PM

I haven't watched SNL in years but I'd suggest "Lowered Expectations" the movie.

Posted by: lainiefig at May 20, 2010 8:00 PM

"lowered Expectations" was MadTV, FYI.

Posted by: Meander at May 20, 2010 8:17 PM

"lowered Expectations" was MadTV, FYI.

Posted by: Meander at May 20, 2010 8:17 PM

Well, there you go, it has apparently been even longer than I thought since I watched SNL.

Posted by: lainiefig at May 21, 2010 7:24 AM

How about a movie about by far the darkest digital short, "The Tizzle Wizzle Show"?

A horror film about a misinformed celebrity host (James Franco) who is trapped in a hellish universe based on a kids series which is secretly a government experiment to brainwash children into forming a murderous army (though of course this is also a cover-up for a plot to open a gate to the underworld and unleash hell on earth).

Posted by: ChristianH at May 21, 2010 8:26 PM

God, you guys, Natalie Portman is so overrated. How many times can you reinvent cute-turns-naughty. It's dead!

I would offer:
Mike Meyers' Schprockets (was actually supposed to have been turned into a movie but never went anywhere)
One of Tracey Morgan's works (Astronaut Jones, the poor guy who lived in the sewer, maybe Brian Fellows in a pinch)

Posted by: Johnnyboy at May 23, 2010 5:32 PM

I certainly enjoy Sean Connery, too bad he is getting aged ! Anyhow anyone knows what his subsequent movie is going to be ?

Posted by: dating affiliate program at October 28, 2010 12:04 PM