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Five Ill-Advised Alternatives to Casting Jeremy Renner as the Next Bourne

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (32)



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We’ve known for awhile now that Universal plans to continue the Bourne series without Matt Damon, after he ditched the franchise when director Paul Greengrass bolted. Tony Gilroy, the screenwriter on the first three Bourne flicks, has been tapped to take over the franchise, which will follow an all new character, leaving open the possibility that Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne could return is a future installment). There’s been a lot of talk about who would become that successor, talk that has focused on Garret Hedlund, Taylor Kitsch, Luke Evans, Shia LaBeouf and James McAvoy, among others. Apparently, Gilroy’s first choice is Joel Edgerton (Animal Kingdom), but the studio wants Jeremy Renner, In fact, a variety of sources have reported that an offer has been officially made to Renner, and now it’s up to him to decide if he wants to follow in Damon’s footsteps, in addition to his work on The Avengers and Mission Impossible.

He is a good fit, I suppose. And if you had to continue the franchise without Damon, I’d have no objections with the Hurt Locker star. He is a better choice, I reckon, than these five other candidates that were in consideration for creative reworkings of the franchise.

Zach Braff in The Bourne Funsies

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Danny Glover in I’m Too Old for this Bourne

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Michael Cera in The Awkward Bourne Silence

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Jon Heder in The Bourne Duh!

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Bradley Cooper in The Bourne Emu

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Comments

Bradley Cooper in The Bourne Born Emu

You're welcome.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 11:42 AM

William Shatner in The Bourne Pomposity

Posted by: The Mutt at April 22, 2011 11:50 AM

Aaaand I can't like Jeremy Renner any more. Yellow tongue.

Posted by: Jim at April 22, 2011 11:53 AM

The Emu thing never gets old. All I have to do is scroll back and look at that picture and laugh my ass off.

I seriously wonder what percentage of Americans would notice if the studios just replaced Cooper-face for an Emu. I'm sure they'd save a lot, seeing as the only demands in the Emu's contract are strippers and babies (to eat).

Posted by: beet salad at April 22, 2011 11:53 AM

Jerry Seinfeld: The Bourne Nothingness

/Who were the ad-wizards that came up with this one!?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 22, 2011 11:55 AM

Ben Affleck in The Bourne Mediocrity

Posted by: The Mutt at April 22, 2011 11:57 AM

Lady Gaga in The Bourne This Way

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 12:03 PM

Mel Gibson: The Passion of the Bourne

Leslie Nielsen: The Naked Bourne

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 22, 2011 12:06 PM

Gwyneth Paltrow in Not To Be Bourne

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 12:12 PM

i wud seriously pay to watch The Bourne Funsies. i miss Scrubs.....

n wait, wat happened to jake Gyllenhaal? wasnt he in the running too?

i say give it to Joel Edgerton even if he looks like one of the generic baddies Damon used to pummel.

No to Renner coz nothing is lamer than a role hogger. i'm looking at you RR.

Posted by: haplo at April 22, 2011 12:16 PM

Matt Damon in Jason Bourne Hunting

wait...

Posted by: superasente at April 22, 2011 12:17 PM

Actually, Affleck wouldn't be a bad choice. He can act and is not an egotistical bastard. He even sold the physicality in Daredevil well.

Posted by: Adam C at April 22, 2011 12:19 PM

The Children of the Bourne, a legacy story.


Bradley Cooper in The Bourne Born Emu

Bradly Cooper in The Bournithology

Posted by: branded at April 22, 2011 12:19 PM

Tony Gilroy, the screenwriter on the first three Bourne flicks, has been tapped to take over the franchise

I hope I'm not the only person who thought the screenplays were the worst part of those movies. Especially in the third one -- yeesh, some of that dialogue made me cringe.

Posted by: Todd at April 22, 2011 12:24 PM

Dustin, it's posts like these that are the reason YouTube has "videos" like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMpXAknykeg

Though, The Bourne Funsies is pretty damn funny.

Posted by: RobP at April 22, 2011 12:27 PM

holy fucking shit this article was pointless

Posted by: arrrghzi at April 22, 2011 12:34 PM

Go to the mall!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 12:39 PM

Emu pic: Kills me every fucking time.

Posted by: Kaleena at April 22, 2011 12:48 PM

Elsa the Lioness in Bourne Free

AC Newman in The New Bournographers

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 22, 2011 12:53 PM

branded wins this one by a mile

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 22, 2011 12:54 PM

Looking at them both in profile, there's no reason not to cast Bradley Cooper and John Cena as emu brothers...

Posted by: Jerry at April 22, 2011 12:54 PM

Crossover with Star Trek: The Gorn Identidy.
Ron Jeremey in the Porn Supremacy.
Or just the Bourne Ultimate Fighting Challenge.

Posted by: Odnon. at April 22, 2011 1:40 PM

“Bourne on the fourth of July”

Tom Cruise as Jason Bourne.

A movie about a rumored gay paralyzed war veteran that regains the use of his legs and becomes a secret government agent only to be drummed out of the agency when it becomes known that he’s been secretly giving classified information to an online website that exposes government secrets.

Posted by: Pookie at April 22, 2011 2:22 PM

I would watch the hell out of that, Pookie.

Posted by: RobP at April 22, 2011 3:32 PM

Neil Patrick Harris in "Bourne Up!"

(Actually, I'd pay to see that....)

Posted by: bastich at April 22, 2011 6:41 PM

Charlie Sheen in Bourne To Be Wild

Posted by: Uriah Creep at April 22, 2011 9:01 PM

Bourne Winner?

Posted by: Jerry at April 22, 2011 11:24 PM

Danny McBride in Bourne to Be in Every Movie This Decade

Larry The Cable Guy in Bourne Freebird

Posted by: Protoguy at April 23, 2011 4:07 AM

Bourne in the U.S.A., starring Jeff Foxworthy (for no discernible reason) and Russell Brand as The Gimp.

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 23, 2011 8:06 AM

DarthCorleone heard me cackling and said, "I wonder if Bradley Cooper cries at night because y'all call him an emu."

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at April 24, 2011 1:21 AM

That would be his 'cool' test

cuz that shit's funny

Posted by: Protoguy at April 24, 2011 5:54 AM

Jeff Bridges in The Bourne Abides

Danny Trejo in Bourne Under a Bad Sign

Posted by: Wintermute at April 25, 2011 12:00 AM