Five Franchises Primed for a Reboot
A Seriously Random List /
Dustin Rowles
Seriously Random Lists | June 3, 2009 | Comments (35)
You got the reboot fever? Ever since Batman Begins successfully relaunched the Batman franchise, Hollywood has gone apeshit for reboots, adding them to the sequel and remake mix. You’d think, by now, that they’d pretty much exploited all the successful franchises from the 80s and 90s (or in some cases, the Aughts: See The Incredible Hulk, Fast & Furious and the forthcoming Tomb Raider reboot.
But they haven’t gotten their grubby hands on everything just yet. So today, I present: The five movie franchises best primed for a reboot. I will tell you, for a fact, that at least four of these movie franchises will be rebooted within the next decade. So, if you want, you can just call these predictions:
5. Teen Wolf: With the advance of makeup effects and computer graphics, the sudden popularity of vampires and, soon, werewolves (thanks to Twilight and Benicio Del Toro’s fortchcoming The Wolf Man and even Underworld), werewolf movies are likely the next big wave of remakes/reboots/ and sequels. And why not go after one of the most beloved franchises. It’s been 22 years since the horrid Jason Bateman Teen Wolf Too, and teen-targeted movies are the biggest moneymakers are the box office now. Teen Wolf, like the upcoming Karate Kid remake, already has a built in studio formula, so it wouldn’t take much to insert a new actor in Michael J. Fox’s stead. Hell, Robert Pattinson already has the hair for it. This one is coming; it’s only a matter of time.
4. Sex and the City: Sure, there is already a sequel to the current franchise in the works, but the existing franchise has lost its way. Three of the characters are already married, two with children, and the other (Samantha) is nearing menopause. How much sex can you really expect from this foursome? I think it’s time to pass the torch to a new set of singletons and update it (the new Carrie will be a blogger, of course) and put it in the midst of the financial crisis (the show was more endearing when everyone on it wasn’t rich). Who would you cast? Probably Anne Hathaway in the Carrie role; Blake Lively in the Charlotte role; Olivia Thirlby could take Miranda’s role; and the new Samantha: Isla Fisher. It couldn’t be worse than Sex and the City: The Movie.
3. Grease: This isn’t a new idea. There were rumors two years ago, which never materialized, that Jessica Simpson would be remaking Grease and Michelle Pfeiffer would return as the school principal. It never happened, but with the success of High School musical and, again, the demographically friendly setting, it’s inevitable. They’d best get Zac Efron before he gets too old, and director Robert Luketic (Legally Blonde) would seem a natural fit. But who would fill Oliva Newton John’s role? Amanda Seyfriend, likely. Fresh off of Mamma Mia. She’s blonde, likable, and she can sing.
2. The X-Files: The X-Files franchise, as we know it, is dead. Last year’s I Want to Believe bombed, scoring only $20 million at the box office. I still havent’ even seen it, and “The X-Files,” is one of my favorite shows. Honestly, you can’t make a big-screen movie after the television show has been off the air for 8 years. It’s a Catch-22. If you don’t include some of the conspiracy stuff in it, the fans of the series are going to be pissed, and if you do, the rest of the audience is going to be lost. The thing to do, at this point, is reboot it all. Our appetite for extraterrestrials and conspiracy theories hasn’t disappeared. Let’s start all over with the mythology, trim it down into movie-size chunks, and get a formidable director to take over the franchise. Like, say, Alex Proyas. To completely reboot it, unfortunately, you would have to replace David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who are phenomenal. But let’s be honest: They don’t really have a big screen presence. They belong on TV. Who could replace them? I like Jeremy Renner for Fox Mulder and Marion Cotillard for Dana Scully. I know it’s blasphemy, but it’s going to happen. And if it does, the least they could do is make it great.
1. Police Academy: How has this not been done yet? America loves lowbrow humor! There were seven of these damn films, too. And a couple of them actually made money. Plus, now that mall cop movies are all the rage, how long before someone thinks to bring the franchise back? They could reboot it as Mall Cop Academy. They were basically ensemble versions of Mall Cop, anyway. And you could actually make a pretty good new movie; a blend of action and comedy, maybe with a darker, more sarcastic edge this time. Hell, get one of Judd Apatow’s cronies to take over the franchise. There’s a solid stable of actors who could slip right into the roles: Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Christopher Mintz Plasse. Hell, Paul Rudd could take over the Carey Mahoney role. You could throw in some pot humor, some Leslie Mann, and a lot of cameos, and you’d damn near be guaranteed a hit. And the best part: You wouldn’t be ruining the fond memories of anyone but Prisco, the only living person who has any nostalgia for the original franchise.
Comments
Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at June 3, 2009 4:08 PM
Hell, Robert Pattinson already has the hair for it.
HAHA! The only thing funnier than five-foot-nothing Michael J. Fox playing a basketball player is the colossal suspension of disbelief required to see skin and bones wannabe goth Robert Pattinson playing a basketball player. What's he going to do, angst the opposing players away from the boards?