F*ck, Marry, Falcon Punch: Famous Trios Edition

By Jodi Smith | Seriously Random Lists | May 3, 2017 |


2907115-tumblr_m05z49mobr1qjaa1to1_1280.jpg

You know the drill.

The Lonely Island: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg.

wack-album-art-6.original.jpg

Fuck: Akiva, because he’s the one I know the least about and mystery is sexy.

Marry: Jorma. LOOK AT HIS FACE. HE’S ADORABLE.

Falcon Punch: I’m so sorry, Andy. But not sorry enough to fuck you.

Charlie’s Angels, 00’s Edition: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu.

244487_full.jpg

Fuck: Lucy. She’s goddamned gorgeous.

Marry: Drew, because it would end in divorce and I could remarry.

Falcon Punch: Cameron, I’m so sorry that you lose. Kinda.

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor

Will_Iron_Man__Thor_or_Captain_America_die_in_Avengers__Infinity_War_.jpg

Fuck: Thor. They don’t call him the God of Thunder for nothing.

Marry: Cap. I want to be legally bound to that booty for all time.

Falcon Punch: Iron Man. Get it? Falcon Punch? MY HUSBAND’S BUDDY WILL SMACK YOU, TONY.

Destiny’s Child

022012-music-girl-groups-destinys-child.jpg

Fuck: Kelly, I guess. She seems cool and like she wouldn’t make it awkward next time we saw each other.

Marry: BEYONCE. ALL DAY EVERY DAY. MAKE HER YOUR QUEEN.

Falcon Punch: Sorry, Michelle. I’m sure you’re very nice, but —

Mario, Luigi, and Bowser.

5029-50ae181ad9608.png

Uhh. I think I just went completely off the rails, kids. Perhaps you should pick some trios to reduce to sexual objects in the comments.


Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

"The Mothers Are Coming!" - The Moms of A Bad Moms Christmas Have Been Cast | 5 Shows After Dark: The Swearing Will Probably Eventually Feel Anachronistic, But Who Cares?






Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments


The Pajiba Store


petr-store-pajiba.png



Privacy Policy
advertise