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Fantastic Dicks And Where To Find Them

By Jodi Smith | Lists | August 30, 2016 |

By Jodi Smith | Lists | August 30, 2016 |


Sure, I hate sex scenes in movies, but I love looking at dicks.

I’m an enigma wrapped in a Snuggie drenched in hypocrite sauce.

While rolling the idea for a list of movies where you can see tallywhackers, I had some hesitation. Then TK told me, “Dong away, Clager,” and I knew what I had to do. Unfortunately, I have terrible Photoshop skills and couldn’t put together a header picture of Eddie Redmayne swinging a ding dang instead of a wand. I decided to just make the list.

The question: Am I objectifying these men by listing the movies where they unleash their kraken? It is very possible. Therein lies the hesitation and the preparation for the comments of “Pajiba is always talking about women being nude in movies being bad, so this is ridiculous” or “I remember when this used to be a Michael Jackson Fan Site”.

Please note that all of the characters on this list are nude by choice or story needs and not just hanging brain as background decoration like many, many nude women are in film. Also, I’m not posting their danglies. You sully your own Google search!

Tom Hardy

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Bronson

Ewan McGregor

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Trainspotting

Velvet Goldmine

Michael Vartan

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One Hour Photo

Cillian Murphy

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28 Days Later

Mark Wahlberg’s Loaner Dong

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Boogie Nights

Jason Segel

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Harvey Keitel

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Bad Lieutenant

Michael Fassbender

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Shame

Ryan Reynolds

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Deadpool