Ethan Hawke: Best Doucheface in the Business

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Ethan Hawke: Best Doucheface in the Business

By Agent Bedhead | Seriously Random Lists | October 17, 2012 | Comments ()


Until now, I have to admit to never really appreciating Ethan Hawke's doucheface for all of its clever nuances, but it impressed me so much in last weekend's Sinister (even though some of you wanted me to spoil the entire film to justify apparent plot weirdness that I'd already conceded to in the review itself, i.e., the movie didn't look good on paper, but the filmmakers and Hawke pulled it off). With that said, yes, there are moments when the the doucheface really works; like, say, when Hawke played the rookie police officer who learns the true nature of his partner in Training Day. Still I have to admit that Ethan's doucheface may not just be part of his "craft." I mean, who else did this at the 2007 Tonys? In any case, I have resigned myself (after two decades) to the fact that Ethan's essence is here to stay in Hollywood. Here are eleven variations on his classic doucheface:

Douche who idealizes the winter of our discontent in Reality Bites:


Douche who hits on a callgirl in New York, I Love You:


Douche who yells "O captain, my captain!" in Dead Poet's Society:


Douche who is a deadbeat dad in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead:


Douche who is the epitome of genetic perfection in Gattica:


Douche who butchers Charles Dickens in Great Expectations:


Douche as unwitting vampire in Daybreakers:


Douche as a crooked cop in Brooklyn's Finest:


Douche with an identity crisis in Taking Lives:


Douche who attempts postmodern Shakespeare in Hamlet:


Douche who learns the doucheropes with Denzel in Training Day:


Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Sandrine

    For shame! How can you forget his most doucheiest of faces in LA Confidential?

  • kirbyjay

    Did I miss something? Namely Ethan Hawke in LA Confidential?

  • Uriah_Creep

    Douche who learns the doucheropes

    Hmm, I never got to learn the doucheropes. I've had to depend on natural talent.

  • googergieger

    Casey Hudson.

  • Tammy

    Hawke's pseudo-punk rendition of "ADD IT UP" in Reality Bites is directly responsible for every stringy-haired, skinny, shaggy slacker I have ever made out with. That's a lot of slackers since 1995, folks.
    And though I know better - if I met Troy in real life, my panties dropping would break the sound barrier.

  • Bodhi

    And all the shagged headed, "introspective" guys I made with & slept with in the early aughts

  • DarthCorleone

    The good news is that Hawke, Delpy, and Linklater have the Before Sunrise/Sunset sequel in the can.

  • Holly

    That's not good news, that's the greatest news we'll ever have.

    Really, I can never hate him, I love these movies so much.

  • pockets full of stones

    If anything, he was the epitome of genetic IMperfection in Gattaca. And I can't see the doucheface, either.

  • Hawke Hater

    The man is a douche. A self-important, pseudo-intellectual, half-talented, uneducated douche. God, what a douche! That is a face I'd never get tired of punching.

  • MGMcD

    Epitome of genetic perfection indeed. Yow. Apparently I have a thing for douches. I'll be in my bunk.

  • zeke_the_pig

    I LOVE Hawke's doucheface (aka his face). For some reason it's incredibly comforting to know it's out there, providing a Well of Douche for the rest of us to draw on when we need it.

  • Inter Milan Kundera

    Daybreakers is a solid movie, and possibly one of the most underrated/least talked about films of the past 5 years

  • e jerry powell

    I'm voting for the combined douchefacery of the brothers Dillon.

  • Protoguy

    The point of Gattaca was that he made it IN SPITE of his douche-face, ghawd!

  • Now you've gone and made me horny. Thanks for the inconvenient lady boner. ugh.

  • John G.

    you leave my Ethan Hawke alone. He helped me get through the 90s.

  • He had me at 'You look like a doily.'

  • MGMcD

    So much yes. "My glitch??!" Ethan Hawke > Ben Stiller any day of the week.

  • roodle

    What does Douche have against Angie Lansbury??

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