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Eight Cinematic Black Sheep To Make You Feel Better About Your Holiday

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (18)



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How was your holiday weekend? Was it sumptuous? Did you spend it snuggled close in the warm, loving embrace of your gracious, rational, even-tempered family? Did visions of sweet potatoes dance in your head? Was everything drenched in a golden Rockwellian hue of peace, love and understanding? Yes? That’s brilliant. I’m so glad for you. Some of us didn’t have it so sweet. And no, I’m not here with a poor, poor pitiful us party. Because, really, how bad could it have been? (If you got pepper sprayed or trampled because of a deeply discounted waffle iron, you have my sympathies.) But the rest of you who merely muddled through the slings and arrows of outrageous families with a full glass and well-bitten tongue, well, here are some of film’s finest Black Sheep to remind you how bad you don’t have it.

Tommy—Home For The Holidays: This film has become a stealth favorite, but if you don’t feel the need to hide your fully functional relationship/wedding from your family, then you’re doing better than Tommy.
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Loki—Thor: You think your sibling is the golden child? Have you seen Thor in low rise jeans? Poor Loki never stood a chance.
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Margot Tenenbaum—The Royal Tenenbaums: To be honest, Royal is the real Black Sheep of this family, but, you know, at least he wasn’t adopted. If you didn’t make out with your adopted brother in a tent shortly after he tried to commit suicide to an Elliott Smith album, you’re well ahead of Margot Tenenbaum.
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Sloth—The Goonies: Oh sure, being seated at the “kid’s table” can be an indignity, but hey, you guys, at least your seat didn’t come with manacles.
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Henri—A Christmas Tale: As black as they come, this Sheep is reviled by his family and “officially banished.” Did you hear the word “banished” this weekend? No? Then you’re doing just fine.
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Kevin McAllister—Home Alone: To lose a child once at Christmastime may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose him twice looks like carelessness you really, truly, honestly do not give a sh*t about this kid.
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Kym—Rachel Getting Married: Oh there is no way you beat Kym in the Black Sheep department. Her parents didn’t even love her enough to give her a proper vowel.
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Faramir—The Lord Of The Rings: Did your deranged parent try to burn you on a pyre this weekend? No, not a metaphorical one. Were you literally doused in some sort of flammable liquid? No? Then ol’ Faramir here has you beat.
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Joanna Robinson wants you to buck up. It’s never as black as you paint it.










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Comments

I realize that we are supposed to find Tommy charming and free-spirited in Home for the Holidays, but I think he's just a dick. Love that movie, though.

Posted by: Scoithniamh at November 29, 2011 2:48 AM

A Christmas Tale is a fantastic movie, I'm glad its getting some recognition.

Posted by: Muffin at November 29, 2011 2:57 AM

Perennial Thanksgiving favorite April belongs on this list. And I don't know how you can think Tommy is a dick when he came home JUST to help out his sister when she sounded like she was upset. He's kind of an ass, but a REALLY good-hearted one.

Posted by: peanutbutterjellytime at November 29, 2011 2:59 AM

I am Shiva the destroyer, your harbinger of doom this evening.

Posted by: Arran at November 29, 2011 3:13 AM

I certainly didn't hear the word 'banished'. I did get the odd 'exiled' and 'I cast thee out', though. I guess that's just what you get when you have a Tsar for an uncle.

Posted by: zeke the pig at November 29, 2011 4:33 AM

I'm just grateful my mother never subjected me to wallpaper like the McAllister's.

Posted by: sunny at November 29, 2011 9:29 AM

"Loki — Thor: You think your sibling is the golden child? Have you seen Thor in low rise jeans? Poor Loki never stood a chance."


Ummm.... I'll take Loki thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: Leia947 at November 29, 2011 9:37 AM

A Christmas Tale has a lot of great performances and one terrible one (the awful sister who spearheads the "banish him!" campaign), and then a lot of really unlikeable characters and one tremendous one (Faunia, the Jewish girlfriend). I have very conflicted feelings about this movie.

Margot Tenenbaum.

Posted by: Colin at November 29, 2011 9:49 AM

Well, well, well. Helloooooo RDJ, Tom Hiddleston (!!), and David Wenham. Any of you guys needs some comforting, I'll just be right over here, 'kay?

Posted by: Samantha at November 29, 2011 10:04 AM

But I did hear the word "banished" this weekend, and to make matters worse, he pronounced it like DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 29, 2011 11:09 AM

Colin, I'm not as down on the sister in Christmas Tale as you, but man Emmanuelle Devos really is damn fine as Faunia.

Posted by: Joseph Finn at November 29, 2011 11:25 AM

Home for the Holidays, I had temporarily forgotten about this movie. I really need to see it again.

Posted by: tamatha at November 29, 2011 12:19 PM

Um, I agree with Leia947...but the line for Loki starts behind me.

Posted by: Remus at November 29, 2011 1:27 PM

Faramir needs to be on that pyre naked.

That is all.

Posted by: Jerry at November 29, 2011 9:34 PM

"Hi, this is my adopted daughter Margot Tenenbaum." No other line in that movie encapsulates Royal's matter of fact "assholeness" (assholity?), better.

Posted by: MachineGunJeanMaurice at November 30, 2011 10:38 AM

But I did hear the word "banished" this weekend, and to make matters worse, he pronounced it like DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 29, 2011 11:09 AM

Do you mean Bani-shed??? I thought I was the only one who ever thought about that pronunciation.

Posted by: valerie at November 30, 2011 1:06 PM

Joseph, I am completely with you on that. She is magnetic!

Posted by: Colin at November 30, 2011 4:18 PM

Some think that being so obsessed with the fashion choices of the stars is not healthy and that it may indicate some kind of condition such as low self esteem.

Posted by: Tom Kat Suri Soho Family Night at January 12, 2012 3:50 AM