Pajiba

I don't know what you were trying to prove here, Rowles. Except for Akroyd and Wilson all the males look quite distinguished. All the "ladies" ('cept for Mirren) look surgically enhanced to hell.

Seriously, females need to retire from showbiz after 32.

This was a difficult post to read/look at. Some of the above folks just look older -- no judgement there. I plan to get older someday, too.

But some of thiese photos are just a testament to hard livin. Gnarly.

Yeah, seriously, I genuinely like Christian Slater and all, but that pic always looks like he's just had a glimpse THROUGH TIME. And it's...awesome(?) there.

I wonder how these dudes would look if they were also wearing the requisite shovelfuls of make-up that actresses are required to wear for any public appearances/photo shoots/etc.

And I honestly do wonder. I'm not judging the ladies necessarily - especially Helen Mirren, who is awesome and I am not worthy to judge her - but curious how the "now" shots would pan out if BOTH parties were using the same make-up tricks like concealer, foundations, highlighters, etc. Make-up can make a HUGE difference, so if anyone can convince all of these dudes to put some make-up on, for the sake of science, that would be awesome.

Oh, Dustin, we all know this was an excuse to post that picture of Helen Mirren.

With that said, Milla Jovovich and Jennifer Connelly have changed so little. They're stunning.

Oh my GOD (sobs). Wesley ate ALL the ROUSeseseses.

Did Harrison Ford catch up on Helen Mirren and then beat her?

Now that's an achievement.

What's wrong with Moira Kelly's eyes? It's like they were cut out of a magazine and pasted on another picture of her.

I am still awaiting an explanation of what happened to Billy Campbell.

Oh come on! That pic of Luke Wilson is just an other pic of David Arquette. That could not have happened to my favorite Wilson. RIGHT?

I don't think Jennifer Connelly has had anything done and she looks just as stunning as ever. Wow.

I would also like to humbly add Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue from The Saint.

I think it's fair to say that with the exception of Harrison Ford, all the women here are currently enjoying more success than their male counterparts (except Anna Chlumsky? What's she been in lately? Anyway, she's beautiful). So on the male side, it just might be what the aftermath of fame looks like. (And for Anna, maybe that's what the glow of promise looks like. I want it.)

I would also like to humbly add Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue from The Saint.

Oh my God, yes!!! I was just reminiscing about his lost hotness. Especially in that movie. He was absolutely smoking. Now he's old and super paunchy.

Val, if this is how it's going to go, you need to get really funny. That's what Alec Baldwin did.

Anna Chlumsky was in the amazing and profanely funny In the Loop. She was really great in it.

I liked it so much, I posted twice. Grarg.

Harrison Ford for sexy grandpa of the year!

First, add a comparison of Marisa Tomei with any of her male contemporaries, and she WINS, I guarantee it. That woman never ages.

Second, that photo of Christian Slater looks like not only the women are dipping into the Botox.

Third, I think DB Sweeney still looks better than Moira Kelly, who was never hot.

Anna Chlumsky was in the amazing and profanely funny In the Loop. She was really great in it.

Billy Campbell looks like Arvin Sloane!

DB Sweeney

Huh huh.

DB's Weeney

Huh huh

RE BWeaves:
"Yeah, you have to keep them locked in a cellar for years until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

I don't care if men age, mind you. I just have to counter the "men age well, women don't" bullshit, because I've seen plenty of evidence to the contrary. Unless the "men age better than women" contingent believes a giant beer gut, a combover and breath that smells like an ashtray constitutes aging well. I contend that it does not. Neither does "face pulled back into a frozen mask, skin the color of dried orange peel and motionless tits that look like tennis balls that have been vacuum-sealed onto the chest wall."

Dear Bill Campbell,

Please eat something. Talk to Cary Elwes - he looks like he could recommend a good restaurant or 20.

Sincerely,
MelBivDevoe

Helen Mirren is attractive for an old woman, but come on, she is an old woman. I know it's hip these days to pretend older women are sexy, but be serious.

Posted by: Furreal at April 11, 2011 6:03 PM

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Motherfuckin' second.

No pun intended.

And to think that Robin Wright survived 20 years of Sean Penn. That would age anyone 40 years.

While make-up may be a factor, I challenge that perhaps the quality of projects that some of these actresses have been attached to allows them to not become something akin to a squatter (like Pauly Shore).
And someone like Milla Jovavich, being a spokesman for a make-up company, most likely has a team of skin people giving her tips on what to do to extend her facial longevity... (I assume that is the scientific term for it, I'm not a doctor, regardless of how many hours I've spent playing Dr Mario or watching House and reruns of Scrubs) Which I imagine as group of stereotypical nail salon technicians, at least one member of every race, like a rainbow coalition of dermatologists.
"Gurl, what-choo doin' to your skin? I seen you in a zombie movie all in the desert... Don'tcha know that sand and wind be doing bad things to yo skin..." *that clicky toungue sound*
"Si chica..." (At this point I would put a paragraph of spanish in here but I took French in high school, not that I could remember a paragraph worth of French that wasn't bullshit like table, and 19 which I remember sounded a lot like something else)
"Insert some Asian stereotype..."
Milla: "Leeloo Dallas Multipass!"

I just assume she would say that in everyday situations where you don't really know what to say... like I say "sure..."

What on earth is wrong with Bill Campbell? Is he ill?

Jamie Lee - phoaaaarrrggghhhhhh

Helen Mirren is attractive for an old woman, but come on, she is an old woman. I know it's hip these days to pretend older women are sexy, but be serious.

Who's pretending? I'd bang Hellen Mirren in a hot minute. Same goes for Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis, Susan Sarandon, etc. All over 50. All haaaaawwwwwwwt.

I'd like to point out that Keanu Reeves, Bruce Willis, and Rob Lowe are aging like black people, which is to say "verrah well."

Listen to the Black Lady, and be awed at our melanin-assisted, crack-fighting power-tude!

...now, if only anyone gave a shit...

I'm sorry. I got to that pic of Jamie Lee Curtis from Trading Places and my brain actually short-circuited. Could she BE HOTTER? Damn.

That photo of Macaulay Culkin does his current form no justice. I saw him a couple of weeks ago with Kieran and he's short, skinny, and very, very greasy. I really wish that my generation of Hollywood would get it through their heads that people really do care that you look like you could taste how they smell (hog fat, Crisco, and car fresheners rubbed all over their bodies).

that was awesome

But, again, we get to use makeup, dye our hair, dress strategically, etc. and men don't.

Once again, we're forgetting about the executive transvestite demographic.

Quitcher complaining that the women are wearing makeup and the men are not. BULLSHIT!

Most of the men in these photos ARE wearing makeup. In the AFTER shots they are on red carpets or are being filmed (with the possible exception of Dan Ackroyd, who looks like he got papped outside an allnight Dunkin Donuts). I say these are fair comparisons, especially since some of the men have also had plastic surgery.

HUGELY disagree with Macauley Caulkin. I have a thing for him; I really wish I could explain it. I like that he's dirty.
I feel kind of sheepish now.
As for Anna Chlumsky, she was in an episode of Covert Affairs last season, and she looked terrible. Can we post one of those pictures instead next to one of Mac in Kings?

Dan Akroyd looks like someone someone started punching a clay sculture of Dan Akroyd.

seriously what the fuck happened to dan akroyd? It looks like his Madam Tssuards wax replica was left too close to an oven.

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