Dear "Glee," Why Must You Suck At Everything? Ten Better Ways To Stereotype.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (36)

The Perky Overachiever
Rachel Berry vs. Annie Edison (“Community”)

The Quarterback
Finn Hudson vs. Vince Howard (“Friday Night Lights”)

The Cleavagey Slut Bomb*
Santan Lopez vs. Faith Lehane (“Buffy: The Vampire Slayer”)

The Smooth Criminal
Noah “Puck” Puckerman vs. Eli “Weevil” Navarro (“Veronica Mars”)

The Dim Bulb
Brittany Pierce vs. Haley Dunphy (“Modern Family”)

The Geek
Artie Abrams vs. Bill Haverchuck (“Freaks and Geeks”)

The Gay Kid
Kurt Hummel vs. Rickie Vasquez (“My So-Called Life”)

The Homecoming Queen
Quinn Fabray (not yet, but soon) vs. Summer Roberts (“The O.C.”)

The Bleeding Heart Teacher
Will “Mr. Schue” Schuester vs. Roland “Mr. Prezbo” Pryzbylewski (“The Wire”)

The Outsider
Tina Cohen-Chang vs. Amber Braverman (“Parenthood”)

Added bonus? Amber Braverman has no f*cking need for auto-tuning.

*Joanna Robinson wants you to know that “Cleavagey Slut Bomb” is a Joss Whedon phrase and in no way reflects her desire to wade into any “slut-shaming” debate.

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Comments

Weevil! Bill! PREZ!!!! I just had a "beloved tv character" gasm.

Posted by: Julie at April 6, 2011 4:13 PM

Santana is a way better slut bomb than Faith.

Who is Rickie Vasquez and why is he trying to look like Tito Jackson? Wait, don't tell me - I don't want to know.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 6, 2011 4:15 PM

Anyone who grows up to be Roman is good in my book.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 6, 2011 4:19 PM

I take issue with The Dim Bulb. I think Brittany Pierce is just the cutest thing ever. I admit, I watch the show primarily for her.

Posted by: Scully at April 6, 2011 4:20 PM

WEEEVIILLLL!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at April 6, 2011 4:24 PM

...her?

Posted by: the chaplain at April 6, 2011 4:28 PM

No fair to cherry pick.

Posted by: james S at April 6, 2011 4:35 PM

Thank you so much for Graveyard Song! I've been looking for that. Admittedly, I gave up after a search the night the episode aired, but again, thank you.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 6, 2011 4:35 PM

Seeing Weevil made me happy beyond words.

Posted by: Allen at April 6, 2011 4:37 PM

Weevil and Ricky? My day, it has been made.

Hee, the chaplain! We always make that joke when talking about her in any role.

Scully, Brittany's lines are hilarious, but what the writers have done to her character is fucked up. She's not just a ditz, or naive, or whatever, if she were real, she'd be mentally challenged, and it feels really icky to me that they're playing it for laughs.

Posted by: Christina at April 6, 2011 4:44 PM

If only they would make a show in which Sarah and Amber pepper their banter with witty cultural references and cry a lot.

Posted by: shawnp at April 6, 2011 4:54 PM

Everyone on the right is awesome, please someone make a TV show with all of them in it!

Posted by: Sage at April 6, 2011 5:04 PM

The blonde from Glee has the best lines on television. Sitting through each episode is worth it just to hear one perfect nugget of stupidity from her.

Posted by: superasente at April 6, 2011 5:20 PM

The Bleeding Heart teacher made me think of Mr. Turner from Boy Meets World. Especially since Alan Turner looks almost exactly like Roland “Mr. Prezbo” Pryzbylewski. They even dress the same, like plaid dress shirts with ugly ties are "caring male teacher" standard uniform. Now I miss Boy Meets World.

Posted by: rornyh at April 6, 2011 5:33 PM

By the way, go watch this. This is awesome.

http://www.themarysue.com/george-takei-spider-man/

Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 6, 2011 5:35 PM

That Weevil/Puckerman matchup is just no contest. When (not IF, thankyouverymuchfortryingtoburstmybubbleRowles) they make the Veronica Mars movie, I cannot WAIT to see Weevil again!

/cues up VM season 1 on Netflix again

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at April 6, 2011 5:45 PM

Weevil, Weevil, Weevil!! He'd kick Puckerman's ass then run him over with his motorcycle.

Posted by: Austin at April 6, 2011 5:59 PM

Oh, oh, oh. This is a great thing. Well done, Joanna!!

Posted by: Caroline at April 6, 2011 6:00 PM

Oh, Weevil, you coy minx! How I've missed you. You and Logan should come over and have a HoYay party with me and Mac.

Posted by: (Not So) Blonde Savant at April 6, 2011 6:01 PM

Making fun of Glee makes you cool. Fact.

Posted by: Foxface at April 6, 2011 6:11 PM

Okay, so I missed a lot of pop culture during those endless years of small children + no money = complete lack of watching TV or cable shows. Who are all these right-sided people, and what must I start watching IMMEDIATELY now that I have cable AND on-demand AND Netflix?

(Updated with T.V. shows. Sometimes I forget you are not all inside my brain. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE VOICES?! Ahem. "Friday Night Lights" and "My So-Called Life" are on Netflix Instant Watch. I heartily endorse them as a good place to start.--JR)

Posted by: mistress of all evil at April 6, 2011 6:28 PM

RICKY!!!!

Must have My So-Called Life marathon now.

Posted by: Melody at April 6, 2011 6:32 PM

To be fair, every show ever about high school has had all of those characters. And the side characters who you only see once in awhile turn out to contract AIDS, kill themselves, drink and drive and go to jail or get killed by a drunk driver, get hooked on meth and suddenly stop after a heart to heart with the outsider/homecoming queen/bleeding heart teacher. Plus bullies. There's always bullies.

I don't give a shit, I like Glee. I've never seen that Weevil guy before but in no way am I compelled to want to do to him the things I want to do to Puck.

Posted by: Persistent Cat at April 6, 2011 6:45 PM

It's as plain as the Ann on Nose Face!!

Posted by: supafly at April 6, 2011 7:54 PM

I whole-heartedly concur with Three-nineteen, Santana kicks Faith's ass way more than Buffy ever did. Faith was lame.

Everyone else I agree with.

Posted by: Jo at April 6, 2011 8:22 PM

Anyone who grows up to be Roman is good in my book.

Hell yes.

Posted by: Uda at April 6, 2011 10:17 PM

Oh great. Now I feel compelled to rewatch all of Veronica M, The Wire and MSCL. Seriously folks, how am I supposed to get anything done when you just keep on pushing my procrastination button?

Posted by: cinekat at April 7, 2011 3:31 AM

I stopped watching "Glee" last week because I reached a point where the ossomness of the musical numbers could not make the idiocy of the writing worth tolerating.

Henceforth, I shall just YouTube the musical numbers. UGH. This entire list is a tribute to the crappiness of the writers on this show.

Posted by: Jelinas at April 7, 2011 7:03 AM

I fucking hate this show.

Posted by: marty at April 7, 2011 9:06 AM

Who's Ann? Oh... Ann. Ann?

Posted by: JByrd at April 7, 2011 9:07 AM

The character of Amber Braverman rubs me the wrong way. She is not the outsider. She wishes she could be the outsider. She's just another poor example of Hollywood attempting to "understand" teen angst. OH, I want to slap the crap outta her.

Posted by: courtney at April 7, 2011 10:02 AM

WEEVIL!!!!

(So glad to see all the Weevil love, even if it makes me feel totally unoriginal. ;)

Posted by: Samantha at April 7, 2011 10:11 AM

Bill Haverchuck changed my life.

Posted by: Miss A at April 7, 2011 10:28 AM

To be fair, I think "Brittany" owns dim bulb. Sometimes I wish she was the only character, simply saying a series of one liners.

Also, WEEVIL.

Posted by: Haystacks at April 7, 2011 1:03 PM

How could you bring Prezbo into this?!

"The Wire" and "Glee" can't be juxtaposed, they can't even exist in the same universe.

Posted by: csb at April 7, 2011 5:44 PM

Her? What, is she funny or something?

Posted by: alon at April 11, 2011 11:48 AM

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Dear "Glee," Why Must You Suck At Everything? Ten Better Ways To Stereotype.

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