David Cross Warns Us Against Seeing Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. But Where Was He When These 7 Pieces Of Cinematic Garbage Were Released?
Fans of comedian David Cross's stand-up act are more than aware of his strong opinions and his pride in having no sacred cows, so his ranting to Conan O'Brien about the work, and working conditions, of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is not surprising. But for those "Conan" viewers who only know him as the nerdy, vaguely Jewish guy in those movies they can't remember him from, his dedication to "keeping it real" could easily go wrong. Even fans of Tobias Funke might be a little shocked that he goes too far for O'Brien, who abruptly cuts Cross off after a vaguely Jewish slur directed at one of the movie's producers.
It's funny and somewhat troubling, so it's good TV:
Poorly timed stand-up persona aside, which amounts to little more than one of Rick Perry's "oops" moments on the campaign trail, the most troubling thing about the above clip is that David Cross literally tells the viewing audience not to see his latest movie. Fair enough. Most of us knew that Chipwrecked wasn't worth seeing regardless, but we didn't need Cross' warning to know that. Five year-olds don't watch "Conan" and they don't read Pajiba, and if they do, they've moved past the Alvin and the Chipmunks Stage.
So, my question to Mr. David Cross is: Where the hell were you when the movies you starred in below needed to be decried? I know he was under contract and all, but he did sign those contracts and he did make money by appearing in them. Surely, these deserve to never be seen, too...
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Alvin and the Chipmunks
School for Scoundrels
Men In Black II
Dr. Dolittle 2
Scary Movie 2
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you're into that sort of thing). He was pleasantly surprised to find that David Cross's IMDB page was filled mostly with quality parts that the actor has nothing to apologize for.