By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (52)
(See also: Part I: Reconditioning Your Libido)
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Posted by: BWeaves at January 12, 2011 10:08 AM
Is it time for an intervention?
Posted by: Simon at January 12, 2011 10:10 AM
This just blew my mind.
Posted by: Dave at January 12, 2011 10:10 AM
After a lunchtime scotch all I can say is I'm fucking fascinated with the direction this segment (which is sure to run and run) will take.
Rowles, I wish I had your life.
Posted by: zeke the pig at January 12, 2011 10:16 AM
My libido isn't the only thing confused.
Posted by: Kargoyle at January 12, 2011 10:19 AM
I don't know if it confused my libido but it sure did make me hungry.
Posted by: Sarah at January 12, 2011 10:20 AM
Pure evil.
Posted by: jayco at January 12, 2011 10:20 AM
I think that running Pajiba has finally broken Dustin.
The King is Dead! Long Live the King!
PAJIBANS ASSEMBLE!
Scavenge the following:
a. 1 large kiddie pool (no slide)
b. sufficient Cream of Wheat to fill 1 kiddie pool
c. 60 feet of chain link fencing
d. 3.7 folding chairs
d. a gross of moist towelettes
e. 1/16 scale model murder tank
f. 2 stuffed cephalopods suitable for rending
Combat shall commence when TK yells, “FIRST!”
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 10:24 AM
But I already watch the Food Network.
Posted by: Robert at January 12, 2011 10:26 AM
Thanks. You've just ruined strawberries in vanilla icecream for me forever.
Damn you Rowles. Damn you straight to hell.
Posted by: cinekat at January 12, 2011 10:27 AM
Hey Rowles, how much snow did you get? The cabin crazy already setting in? I hauled my but the 3.7 miles to work and am now patiently waiting out my last day ever selling cars so I can get the F out of here. If I see a customer walk through the front door I will eat my sweatshirt.
Posted by: RyanH at January 12, 2011 10:28 AM
Do we need butter and sugar for the kiddie pool? Because that would make the Cream of Wheat DELICIOUS.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 12, 2011 10:29 AM
It didn't confuse my libido, but it did confuse my bowels. Off to the shitter I go.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2011 10:33 AM
Modifications to said creamed wheat shall be at contender discretion and must be ratified by the quorum.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 10:34 AM
Mrs. Julien, I may be able to help with the 3.7 folding chairs. And the moist towelettes. They weren't moist before I got them. I assume that will not be a problem.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2011 10:35 AM
Hey Rowles, how much snow did you get? The cabin crazy already setting in?
Can we get someone to confirm whether Dustin is currently practicing kung fu in his front yard while yelling "PANCAAAAAKES!"?
Posted by: branded at January 12, 2011 10:44 AM
Coda: The King shall hereinafter be referred to as the Monarch so as to avoid gender specificity unpleasantess.
Clarification: Item D
All moist towelettes must be in their original unsullied state; Moist towelettes are, by definition, moist upon initiation of use. We shall defile neither the Monarch nor pretenders to the throne with dubious moisture sources.
Post-moistened tissues masquerading as pre-moistened towelettes shall result in a sojourn in TK's basement for an indeterminate period of time.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 10:47 AM
Show as many of these pictures as you want. Just no more toes. Please.
Posted by: PaddyDog at January 12, 2011 10:48 AM
That photo of Michelle Williams in the header is pretty much the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. I really hope she's gettin' down with Baby Goose (badumching!).
Posted by: becks at January 12, 2011 10:56 AM
Why the eff is Baby Goose smooching on my Barbie styling head from 1989?
Posted by: Jessie at January 12, 2011 10:59 AM
These are really bumming me out. That first picture ruined my day.
Posted by: Stacey at January 12, 2011 10:59 AM
I'm so confused about my libido!
Right, now I'm going to have a look at these pictures.
Posted by: Caspar at January 12, 2011 10:59 AM
You win this time, D-Row.
If we're getting new titles, can I be a Knight Errant?
Posted by: RobP at January 12, 2011 11:00 AM
Yep. Rowles is off his nut for sure. These posts are like visual word salad. Visual salad, with dressing of grim despair, and yet, I can't look away.
Posted by: Groundloop at January 12, 2011 11:06 AM
RobP - Will you work your way up to Knight Rant?
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 11:06 AM
Mmmm, food.
Posted by: csb at January 12, 2011 11:14 AM
Skank Spaghetti?
Posted by: PissBoy at January 12, 2011 11:20 AM
I don't know if it confused my libido but it sure did make me hungry.
Posted by: Sarah at January 12, 2011 10:20 AM
Me too. I kind of want a hotdog.
Also, I'd like to request brown sugar for the Cream of Wheat. And maybe a little maple syrup. Mmmmm.
Dammit! Now I'm MORE hungry.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 12, 2011 11:22 AM
I want some of those spoons, because eating soup is too easy as it stands.
Posted by: Ian at January 12, 2011 11:23 AM
The only photo I find confusing to my libido is the one of Perez. Because I am imagining that those bruises and blood are real, and that he got the crap beat out of him, and that is a turn-on indeed.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 12, 2011 11:25 AM
I was confused by the first installment, which involved nobody actually that hot. Well, except for Christina Hendricks, but I don't swing that way.
Posted by: Samantha at January 12, 2011 11:29 AM
Well that's 489 towelettes wasted.
Anyone want to buy Vincent Gallo's sperm?
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2011 11:30 AM
I'm pretty sure that according to Pajiba Powers that Be none of these people are hot either. It just makes the whole thing all the more confusing.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 12, 2011 11:32 AM
Why you gotta be this way? You've put me off my chum for at least a week.
Posted by: , at January 12, 2011 11:33 AM
Visual salad, with dressing of grim despair, and yet, I can't look away.
Groundloop, don't just stare at it. Eat it!
(I'm being entirely too referencey today. I apologize.)
Posted by: branded at January 12, 2011 11:35 AM
What? Gross. Why Rowles, why?
Posted by: Vee at January 12, 2011 12:14 PM
So the first post was about not making us feel sexually aroused to the people most Pajibans find attractive, by coupling images of those people with disgusting pictures of feet. Somewhat malicious.
The second post has been about making us feel a gross aversion to the foods we love by coupling images of those foods with pictures of people most Pajibans are repulsed by. Definately malicious.
I can only conclude that the next set of images will couple lolcatz with excerpt images from "The Human Centipede II: Full Segment" in an effort to destroy our love of cats forever. And loling. Truely villainous.
Everyone, Rowles is a supervillain and we are his minions.
Sing your dirge for the state of the world; this is the beginning of the end.
Posted by: superasente at January 12, 2011 12:34 PM
I really hope she's gettin' down with Baby Goose (badumching!).
The rumor is that Baby Goose is gettin down with Boobs Legsly. I don't know why I know these things.
Also that last picture made me snort and cackle, at the same time.
Posted by: Even Stevens at January 12, 2011 1:02 PM
Ok. So it's like word association or something, with pictures? I'll bite:
1: Spaghetti/Straps.
2: Bread/Basket.
3: Schmeeb/Yolks.
4: Eyes/Scream.
5: Fat/Free.
6: Cruise/Control.
7: Clean up on aisle 3/My pants.
Posted by: Odnon at January 12, 2011 1:02 PM
The only thing I got out of this is that putting the word LIFE beside a substantial pair of tits is an apt thing to do.
Posted by: arrrghzi at January 12, 2011 1:20 PM
That pasta woman is HOT.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 12, 2011 1:31 PM
Gkmltklkljgop? Bhtijlf! Wjrpjop flejfljgj tha . . .saemaw? Ha ha! klfef;e . .
Posted by: Brainhurt at January 12, 2011 2:42 PM
Posted by: branded at January 12, 2011 11:35 AM
Don't apologize, that's some good quotin' you're doin' there.
That Adam Sandler pic makes me want to burn my computer.
Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 12, 2011 3:38 PM
What.
Posted by: commanderfunky at January 12, 2011 3:54 PM
I feel........ funny.
Posted by: sheshakes at January 12, 2011 4:17 PM
My libido isn't confused. But everything else is. What exactly am I supposed to be doing now?
Posted by: noonoo at January 12, 2011 5:25 PM
Are you kidding, becks? I bet Gosling is really good at munching.
Ohhhh...badumching. Got it.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 12, 2011 5:38 PM
Sexiest chicken wings I've ever seen.
Posted by: UMG at January 12, 2011 6:16 PM
Clarification: The elbow-flapping Montag, not the food product.
Posted by: UMG at January 12, 2011 6:17 PM
I have the nosh-iest boner.
But seriously, this almost made too much sense, I think. Although, it's January in Ontario, so those frigid alabaster shit freaks of the sky could have soaked through my protective layers and given me myelin palsy, or some other such brain ailment.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at January 12, 2011 11:41 PM
I feel like Dustin may have just watched the Creme Fraiche episode of South Park.
Posted by: Amanda6 at January 13, 2011 1:25 AM
Son, what is your major malfunction?
Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 13, 2011 2:39 AM
Get some help, Rowles!