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Confessions of a Hater: Top Nine Things Worth Hating This Week

By Amanda Mae Meyncke | Seriously Random Lists | April 2, 2013 | Comments ()


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I hate everything. You know how they say haters gonna hate? (Which, by the way, went from making sense to suddenly becoming some kind of get out of jail free pass for anyone making a dumb decision or really doing anything at all.) Well, I am that hater. And I am going to hate. Usually my articles focus in something sad that's happened and try and find some kind of light, peaceful resolve out of it. The truth is, I'm mostly kind of a rotten person who is a little bit OVER daintily sipping from the positive outlook on life, and currently drinking heavily from the rage filled drama of darkness. And lo, t'was a heady brew!

Every Single Baby on Facebook
Babies, farts and slippers -- I spec' your own are okay but other peoples are the absolute worst.The other night I was drinking with a few friends and we pulled up photos of the ugliest babies in our Facebook feeds. The competition was fierce, but I'm pretty sure I won. (No Pajiba related babies were harmed in the making of this article.) I get it. All you do is hang out with your baby and take pictures of it for the Internet, but there's this thing called group text messaging and maybe you can like relegate your child to that hemisphere instead of intruding on mine. Oddly, I never see any photos of babies I might actually be interested in. No cousins, relatively few of my godson, but strangers and acquaintances babies? Oh, Facebook is all. over. it. ENJOY, screams Facebook. ENJOY THESE NOT SO WELL-TAKEN PHOTOS OF A CHILD YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT. In fact, this issue was so near and dear to my heart I wrote it into my short film I made. Someone compares photos of babies on Facey to sacks of mashed potatoes. It is a strange and terrifying thing that this opinion of mine has never wavered, but if you're gonna hate something, hate it, you know?

Going to the Movies
I used to go see like four movies a week. The thought of going into a movie theater basically gives me hives now. I'd go see Spring Breakers again in a heartbeat though. I'm sick of being placated by movies, or trying to find more to say than just "It was fine." about a given film. Wow me, dazzle me, scare me senseless, try to break through the monotony that resides so deep in my addled consciousness that I daydream about checking my phone during boring scenes. I've got Movie ADHD and need the Five Hour Energy of Spring Breakers, the Adderal of To the Wonder, the Ritalin of Before Midnight. Give me something to hang on to or just STFU, please.

People Who Didn't Get My April Fool's Jokes
Anyone who posted something mundane on Facebook this year got me in their comments going "LOL, best April Fool's joke ever." Or some asinine variation therein. Someone posted his band's new single. Click. Someone asked for a recommendation on where to eat in Ashland, OR. Click. Someone else posted a wedding photo. Heh heh, click. Anyway, at least three people clarified that their update wasn't a joke to which I wanted to angrily reply, "No, YOU'RE A JOKE." But instead I just gritted my teeth and X'd out of there. I have a problem with starting fights on Facebook over punctuation, grammar and other such wildly important issues. Also I can't stand when people confuzzle the Google Box with them thar Facebook Box and ask dumb questions that are so easily answered.

I sometimes start stories to my best friends with "Sooooo, I was on Facebook" and everyone braces themselves. I'm basically not allowed to use Facebook anymore. See also...

People Writing Lazy or Insane Comments on Instagram
The crap people feel is acceptable to write on everyone else's Instagram is mind boggling. How stupid can people be? Real stupid. Someone posted a picture of a Death Eater tattoo from Harry Potter, clearly on the guy's forearm, and someone writes "Is this an inner thigh tattoo?" Or people who just basically have opinions about anything happening in the photo. "Where is this taken?" In front of the HOLLYWOOD SIGN, DUMMY. "Not a great idea to use a shock collar." It's not a shock collar, it's a regular one with a bell on it. If you want to hate the world, go read any celebrity Instagram comments. Randos asking for the celeb's phone number, as if that's even a thing. What, she's gonna give it to you and you're gonna call her? "How'd you two meet?" "Oh, well, I was a creeper twice her age lurking on her Instagram for like, geez, it must have been years! And then, out of a sea of requests, she gave her number to me after the seventeenth time I asked in the same comment thread alone. What can I say, I'm a romantic."

Everyone on Twitter
For many moons now I've had to avoid Twitter as much as I can, as I've mostly populated my feed with other movie journalists. Who may, in fact, be the world's worst people. Twitter is just filled with people bragging about how they're on fancy press junkets I didn't get invited to, or writing about movies I didn't get to see, or working for outlets I wanted to work for forever. Twitter is just a dark alleyway and there's no light at the end of that tunnel. For whatever reason, I've never been cool enough to sit at the cool kids table, some people I WORK WITH still choose to ignore me in this medium, even though I rarely post and never post anything inflammatory. Just another dumb way to feel left out or get your feelings hurt. Over it.

These days I just furiously type my acerbic, decimating comments in all three mediums and then just click out of the window so they don't actually post.

Wanting to Email People I Really, Really Shouldn't
You know how sometimes you think "Ha, ha, maybe I should email X and see how they're doing in Sweden, even though they've kind of blown me off a couple times I'm sure pouring more energy into this sinking ship is a great idea! After all, we had a really great conversation that one time and..." ::head explodes:: Just take your exploded head away and do something more productive with your time. Or write your shameful email and send it to your best friend, who will shame you further for being a weak willed, lily-livered monster with no self respect!

Married Dudes Who Want To Be Friends With You
NO.

Doctor Who
Why not! Blow up at me, Internet! See if I care! I Do Not. Get. This. Infernal. Show. I like sci-fi. I enjoy long running shows. Binge watching television is one of my favorite activities. I've seen at least four different episodes of this show, with different doctors, and I could not recoil fast enough. I get that people I love and respect, love and respect this show, but I cannot wait for it to either die down or people to become grotesquely obsessed with some other dumb thing I just "won't get" or whatever. And you know what? I am not alone and I will not be silent any longer. There are dozens of us out there. DOZENS!

The Unclear Future
Dude, screw the future. I was listening to a This American Life about this guy who lived every day as if he was looking for adventure, and believed that Doing Things was Awesome and Made For A Better Story etc. I think that too! But, it's kind of hard to live that way a little bit. Writing hasn't been this expansive clubhouse where I've been welcomed in with open arms. I thought this would all be a little bit easier, but after six years and after slowly having every component of my job taken away from me, I'm thinking I'm not supposed to be a writer, at least not the way I thought I was. But then, nothing has really turned out the way I thought it would. But the turning out hasn't happened yet, so it's too early to worry. Do Awesome Things and Have Great Stories is the theme of this year. Also stop staring at computer screens so much for a living.

Off to hate something else, I pray I live to hate another week.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • I, too, do not get Doctor Who. The daleks scared me as a child, and any other time I've seen it, it's looked horribly boring.

  • ,

    All babies look the same to me. Seen one, seen em all.

  • junierizzle

    Thank you. Someone finally said it. Dr. Who? No, just no. I should love this show but I found it boring.

  • Jebus

    I hate Facebook activists. Unless of course, they actually do things in real life. My news feed thing gets flooded with pictures of abused animals and crap. First off, you're preaching to the choir. Secondly, in the grand scheme of things it makes no difference. Changing your picture shows you believe in something, but with the same effort you can donate to organizations that help the cause.

  • I hate everything.

    I love you. I love you, even if you don't like Doctor Who (I'm currently on the fence with the show myself, which, along with knowing relationships are inherently flawed, is probably what makes me understanding). I love you and won't debase your article into something about how you're taking the wrong anti-depressants and how you're off your rocker. I laughed the entire way through and said, "Baw gawd, this is so true" about each category.

    I'm one of those people who shares a ton of things on Facebook. I used to be very self-conscious about this, because my mom's side of the family always made comments (they still do, but not as much, as I've called them out via FB for it) about how I share so many things within a day. But I stopped caring and, if I feel like some people will enjoy an article or a video (I go through an insane amount each day), I'll share it. They know where the unfriend button is, as well as the hide button and the one that filters what they see from me.

    You keep hating, you hater.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    You know what I hate on FB? Pictures of a bearded guy in a robe knocking on a door with the header "would YOU open the door to Jesus?"

    Hell no I'm not answering the door, I never answer my door unless I'm expecting a package or something and some scraggly looking guy in a nightgown sure as hell isn't getting in.

    Stop posting stupid religious stuff!

    Babies are okay though.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Although now I'm starting to wonder if I'm one of those annoying FB friends because I post a lot of cute animals and beautiful landscape photos. Sunset at Bora Bora and Colonel Meow.

    Oh shit, I'm one of them, aren't I?

  • That's alright, I'll enjoy your animal pics with ya. But, yea, religious shit needs to GTFO.

  • The Shawarma Initiative

    I've been reading this blog for so long now that I can't even remember when I started, how it came to my attention (a link on Fametracker maybe?? Yes, I am old, THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP, ME) or how long it's really been since it became so entrenched in my daily routine that I check it at least a few times a day. I read everything posted on the site, including the comments. Funny, though, I've never posted one myself before. But I just read this post and there are parts of it that are just, simply put, fucking infuriating. Look, girl, I feel ya. I do. The snark is why I'm here. Love it, love the snark. But there's something very childish and selfish about this post that really rubs me the wrong way. Particularly, this:

    "Writing hasn’t been this expansive clubhouse where I’ve been welcomed in with open arms. I thought this would all be a little bit easier, but after six years and after slowly having every component of my job taken away from me, I’m thinking I’m not supposed to be a writer, at least not the way I thought I was."

    Firstly, this site isn't called "The Sylvia Plath Confessional Oven Mittery," so there's that. And, well... I mean, six years? That's all you've got in you? And, also, "an expansive clubhouse?" I've only been on this planet for 37 years, and that doesn't lend me too much perspective, but what I do know is that NOTHING in this life is an expansive clubhouse and yeah man, shit gets slowly taken away from you as you go through life. Like people you love. Jobs you thought you were great at, and with them, your carefully constructed self-image. Relationships you relied on. Belief systems that prove to be untrue. It is the rare case in which it doesn't take the majority of a lifetime to get truly excellent at something and make your bones in a particular peer group. And even if you've got the time, it takes deliberate study, focused adherence to discipline and an honest, humble relationship to your chosen 'field' that eschews ego in favor of accepting obstacles as ways to get better, opportunities to achieve more. And even if you get there, something just kinda might not work out. You could get hit by a bus or get cancer in the middle of it all and literally won't be able to continue. Or any of the other kajillion things that come up in a lifetime that create our universally frustrating and heartbreaking experience. So you can be a fucking entitled baby about it or pick yourself up and find the courage to continue. Because it's in you. It's in all of us.

    Look, I've got some homework for you. First, some music docs. Please seek out and watch "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" and "The Fearless Freaks." Two rock docs about bands that literally struggled for decades to get anyone to pay any attention to them and lost a lot of money, dignity and loved ones along the way, saw a boatload of tragic things, but stuck with their passion and their ideals because it's who they are. Then watch Henry Rollins' video "Letter to a Young American." Here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... Then watch this TED talk by Ron Finley on guerrilla gardening in South Central LA and get inspired by his fight to create hope in a place where there seems to be so little: http://www.ted.com/talks/ron_f...

    Who the fuck am I to advise anyone on anything? You're right. I'm just some jagoff pushing 40 who has started over a number of times throughout my life and finds herself starting over again in a new career at an entry-ish level after a devastating personal loss that shook my life to the core. I don't own anything of value, there's not a community out there that has ever welcomed me "with open arms," and I've probably posted a bunch stuff on facebook that's annoyed my interwebs friends. So be it. Failure isn't the end, it's just part of it, and I guess what really gets my hackles up is this tone of "but it's soooo unfaaaiiiirrrrr" that's just, ugh. Like, really, enough already.

    As far as the site, I will always be a devotee, but what I would have really loved to have seen in this piece's place is a piece speculating about what Ridley Scott might do with "Wool" now that he's bought the rights, particularly after the convoluted mess of "Prometheus" that succeeded only in shattering my hopes and dreams of a newly cohesive Alienverse. Suggestion box, bitches!

  • Mrs. Julien

    PLEASE comment more. PLEASE!

    That goes for all y'all lurkers!

  • Anna von Beav

    I .... I think I'm in love with you.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Great post, I don't understand the downvotes.

  • Maddy

    I forgive you for not liking Doctor Who. There are some things that so many people seem to love that I just don't get. I've tried to get into Community so many times and just can't do it. It's the kind of thing I should like and I've tried so hard to like it but I just can't and I don't know why.

  • hippyherb

    The last job I had was customer service. I served people all day, and regardless of how I was feeling, I smiled, chatted and was nice. After my mother died, I found the relentless cheeriness a little hard to maintain, but I did pretty well.

    One day, one of my regular customers asked me if I was feeling ok, as I wasn't as 'up' as I usually was. That I was usually such a happy person.

    I had just had days of people telling me that my mum had a 'great innings', (cricket reference meaning that she'd had a good long life).

    By this stage I was sick of people inferring that It was ok that mum had died because she was old.(i know they didn't really mean that, but hey, grief).

    Anyway, the lady who said I wasn't as 'up' as usual. I looked at her and said that I wasn't really that much of a happy person. That in fact i was usually full of seething hate and rage, but that I was paid to appear happy.

    She was pretty taken aback, the poor thing. But one of my co-workers explained about my mum and all was good. The thing is though, I am often full of hate. Hate for arseholes, dickheads, bad people, governments, poverty and the list goes on. I think it is fine to hate, as long as it is balanced with loving the great people and great things that happen.

    I have seen Amanda post lovely, moving pieces and really appreciated them.
    Now I will appreciate her hate.

    By the way, I love Doctor Who.
    Hate facebook and Twitter.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I was going through a checkout line a while ago and out of the blue, the clerk told me his grandmother had died a few weeks ago. I expressed my condolences (I had never talked to this person before and to be honest, I really didn't give a shit) and I asked how old she had been. 103. I said "wow, that's really old" and I apparently offended the guy with my insensitivity.

    And I have to admit, I am pretty insensitive. I understand grief and the huge sense of loss when a loved one dies but when they're over a certain age, you should be preparing yourself for the day when they finally do pass on. Hearing "they had a good long life" should be comforting, not taken as a meaningless and empty platitude.

  • Melissa (at school)

    Do you know why? It's because no matter how old someone is, if they live to be 175, when it's someone you deeply love there is never, ever enough time. Ever. I used to think the way you did, and then as I got older and my parents start getting older I realize that someone's advanced age at death is not a comfort. Nothing is. Not even the fact that they aren't in pain anymore.

    As a corollary, imagine if someone said to a parent who lost their infant child that oh well, he/she was only 1 month old so it's not like you had much time to grow attached to them right?

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    Melissa, I'd never thought about your corollary (which isn't really one), but I do think the way a person lives near the ned makes a big difference. I know when my grandmother died after years with alzhimers, everyone in my family, including her son (my dad) was happy and frankly wished it had come sooner. That doesn't eliminate the feeling of loss, but much of that grieving happened while her body was still technically alive.

    I have another friend whose mom had throat cancer (fuck cancer) and she definitely was amazingly relieved when her mom died because watching her mom in pain was just crushing her.

  • Melissa Doucette

    I've certainly known people who died of cancer, who died of dementia, etc. It is not uncommon for their families to feel relief (quite normal, actually); very understandable. In my experience, the way someone lives near the end has little effect on the grief when they go. That feeling of loss, as you put it, can certainly coexist with relief.

    My best friend recently lost her father to esophageal cancer. It was not a good death, he had a hard time at the end, and I can promise you that she would sell everything she owned for one more day with him. He was 73. I myself know that if my father, who is the same age, died tomorrow I would be devastated. And I will if he's 90 when he dies. I get why people often say "so and so was 90, so he had a good life", but what I am saying is that to the people who loved him, the age of death doesn't lessen the grief.

    (Oh, and I'm the Melissa from above, don't want to sound like a sock puppet!)

  • hippyherb

    Thank you Melissa.
    My mum was 84 when she died, and yes, that is quite old. However, when I looked at my mother, I didn't see an age. I was of course aware of her limitations, but she was just 'mum' to me. My foundation, the first one to love me unconditionally. So when people commented "oh well, she had a good innings', It drove me nuts. As time passed it didn't affect me as much, but in that time of grief It really hurt.

  • sjfromsj

    Before I read the rest of this, I'm going to comment on the first point with two examples of the only exceptions I have to your arguments:

    a) There was a guy that I barely knew in college that I kept as a "friend" on Facebook for at least a year just to see the pictures of his daughter because she was probably the cutest baby I had ever seen in my life.

    On the flip side...

    b) My cousin posts approximately 50 pictures of her daughter everyday. They mostly are the same picture, and her daughter is not even posing or doing anything significant whatsoever. I resent her greatly.

  • ScrimmySCrim

    This started out kind of fun, but turned into a PSA for good antidepressants about halfway through. If you balanced out the vitriol with just a little more humor, it would have been better.

    You have your amazing moments. There are articles and reviews that you've written that I thought were fantastic. When you get too negative, it brings it down too much. You just sound like you are miserable.

  • Mike D

    This reads like a rant from "Girls." Take that how you will.

  • Of these things that you "hate". Which ones can you solve? Which ones have you tried to solve?

    Writing isn't easy. The process of doing things after you write it isn't easy (even if you put it on-line for free). You don't write because you think you're viable at it, you do it because you love it. And you've probably loved it since the cool kids table was at No Vacancy on Day 1 of High School - Married Dude.

  • e jerry powell

    Married Dudes Who Want To Be Friends With You

    NO.

    I'm not sure what you mean by that. Do you have something you'd like to share with the group?

  • babykangarootribbiani

    y;know what i hate? people who out of the two empty seats in the row on a bus, they take the aisle seat. meaning that there is an empty seat next to the window, that now nobody gets to take cause no one wants to climb over mr selfish because that would be super awkward and we live in a society where it;'s generally frowned upon to literally climb over a total stranger. and then the bus gets more and more full as it drives by the university hospital and all those students get on and that seat remains open because mr selfish had to sit on the aisle seat! this also goes for people who take the window seat but place their bag on the aisle seat and don;t move it when it gets full (yes i realize you have no idea what i;m talking about unless you ride the bus but it really bothers me and there;s no forum to complain about it)
    i also hate people who call joey from full house "uncle joey." it's uncle jesse and joey, there were eight seasons and almost two hundred episodes, and in not one of those did anyone ever call him "uncle joey". NOT A ONE.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I know. You're inside of my mind.

    Getting to the window seat when someone's in the aisle can be a tight squeeze and I don't want to, or can't climb over you and people know that. Who's that tall, anyway? If you want two seats pay two fares. What I hate even more than people who won't give up their seats to say, the elderly, small children, heavily pregnant women or an injured person is when someone vacates that spot for one of those people and some nosepoker who is fully aware of what he's doing takes it for himself.

    I don't know what it's called, but there's a website devoted to Toronto Transit Commission that is solely devoted to outing people's bad behaviour on public transportation. They post pictures of the person and assign scathing captions to it.

    Some people are insane. I've seen fist fights, an oral sex attempt, toenail clippings, some dude take off his shoes and socks and then stretch out to take up two seats, some jerk take up three seats by sitting in the middle of a group of three seats in a very crowded subway (get over yourself, Dong Work For Yuda), some lady--no, frigging bitch--give me the stink eye and take the seat I was trying to get and wouldn't move her purse even though I was carrying two suitcases a stuffed backpack and my purse, some drunk chick whack her head up pretty badly because her back flip misfired, a confederacy of neo-Nazis, some freak who blew his nose and threw the tissue under the seats and if there were room I definitely would have grabbed a new spot more quickly...

    ...but the weirdest is this recurring character who has twelve yorkies that he keeps in a shopping cart.

  • competitivenonfiction

    When I was heavily pregnant, I was shocked to find out that the people who get up for pregnant ladies are so not the ones who should have to. Tiny old ladies, elderly men with hearing problems, people with walkers. Teenagers or early twenty-somethings don't get up. And I never had a white person under 60 get up. It was shocking.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Agggghhh, the nail clippings. I don't even understand how this is so common. I have a little interior monologue that I wrote down when I last heard someone clipping nails on NJ Transit. And I think next time it happens I'm going to call the person out.

    And I live in NYC, so no Tonka. But I take various bus lines to PA, NJ Transit to family, LIRR/Metro-North to friends, and fly for work. I do it all, baby. And I don't own a car.

  • Melissa Doucette

    And this is why, when I returned to university, I lasted three days on public transit before I broke down and bought a car pass. It's like the bus is some weird bermuda triangle where weirdos just let their freak flag FLY.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I love ya for the Uncle Joey stuff.

    But - I'm one of those persons who sits on an aisle. It gives legs some space. And yeah, if there's gonna be an empty seat, I want it to be next to me. Show some cojones if you want a seat. I'll stand to let you in. I'm also one of those persons on trains who sits between the 2 people on a 3 person bench. Almost no one does. I don't care. I say excuse me and I go on in there.

    I also say "excuse me" loud enough to be heard when entering/exiting subways. I don't shout it. But I don't murmur it anymore, because people, esp with the all-too-prevalent earbuds, don't hear it and don't move. People look startled when it is said in a normal tone of voice, or sometimes think I'm being bitchy. But I don't need to be friends with the people who stand in front of subway doors or bottoms of escalators.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Is the public transportation manufactured by Tonka where you live?

  • anatomycoloringbook

    As per Facebook, I have two friends who post "inspirational" or self affirmation pictures that either boast about being a smart, independent bitch who takes no shit from no one or the more humble, "I'm not perfect but I want to be loved" plus other declarations of how she is sassy and cool. There are like 5 to 10 of these images a day from both women. I feel kinda bad for my attitude because I know these women aren't intentionally being annoying and are quite sincere, but seriously these posts are eye-rolling.

  • Boothy K

    Wow. I just bock certain people's news feeds and generally don't take anything personally. Also: Shit on Facebook is a lie for the most part. I have to be careful on Facebook in terms of the disguised happiness, I can usually mask the happy with sarcastic comments.

  • Amanda Meyncke

    As Joan Didion said, "Oh wow."

    This wasn't even that bad, guys.

  • Aaron Schulz

    anti doctorwho club is something i would join, i get it, you love some british wizard in a phone booth, god shut up.

  • LaineyBobainey

    I feel like I'm a pretty sarcastic misanthrope, but dude, even on my worst day, I'm not this bad. There are all kinds of anti-depressants out there now. Look into a new one. Yours is *not* doing its job.

  • yemayah

    I've never had accounts for Facebook (privacy issues), MySpace, Twitter, or Tumbler. I don't go to Facebook. YouTube is a goldmine for music and dance, but I don't have an account. I email anything I want to share. I don't understand Tweeting (Tweet and Re-Tweet were sitting on a fence. Tweet fell off. Who was left?) and Tumblrs. I don't get the digital pollution of strings of dozens or even hundreds of "I like". A lot tumblr/blogs I've sampled make little sense in either theme or structure. I have a hard time wading through to find the main content or even determine who is posting: the owner or a commenter. I am unmotivated to even learn about Instagram. I hate slideshows, and am grateful Pajiba avoids them. I'll admit that my brain cannot process the barrage of social media, so I limit my exposure.

    I hate that my security suite cannot control increasingly aggressive ad pollution and pop-ups. I HATE overpriced anything, especially healthcare (and I'm in the field). My phone is 10 years old, but it does what I want: phone calls to/from family, work, friends, information. If I want to pay more, I could get internet. I do want a fancy phone (mainly for the large, crystal clear screen and camera), but I refuse to be forced into a contract.

    I'm digitally savvy. I've built a desktop computer; I am adept at all photo, movie, office, and database programs. I bookmark certain foodie, travel, movie/TV comment (Pajiba rules!) and political blogs. I do like discussing my two favorite TV shows. I rarely go to movies (You are a wonderful writer, Amanda, and it was your review that sent me to the theater to see Stoker, a movie I may have missed until it came out on DVD) and, apart from prime-time PBS and a few cable series and movies on DVD, which I get from the library, I only watch two TV shows. I have two blogs showcasing my digital photography for my friends and family. I miss the good old days of websites. I guess what I really hate is the digital version of ADD; devaluation of face-to-face communication (especially in the workplace); and the impoverishment of writing and spelling. I hate the loss of privacy.

    I hate Doctor Who (and I've forced myself to see enough to have an opinion) and Windows 8.

  • Very well spoken. I also hate how face-to-face communication is basically meaningless to so many people now. I used to have game/wine nights with a select group of friends but we cooled it for a while because no one would get off their fucking phone. Lo and behold those same people complained about missing them so we re-instituted them but now we collect cell phones at the door and it's actually fun!

  • I love Doctor Who. Hardcore love it. I have watched every classic episode available. I have suffered through reconstructions with horrible audio. I love that show so much but I still don't get how it has gotten to be so popular. It's a weird show.

  • Melody

    Have you considered Xanax or maybe, MAYBE getting outside and actually enjoying life? It's really not that bad. Sometimes it's pretty awesome.

    It's fine to hate things, but you manage to sound so miserable that I'm wondering if anything truly makes you happy. And yeah, I have a very young infant and I do post photos of her to Facebook for my far-flung family and friends who want to see her. Also, some of us have friends and family that live outside the US and just simply texting them a photo does not work as international texting charges are insane.

  • My bf calls me a hater whenever someone I like releases a new album or movie that I hate and I hate that! Just because I like an actress doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to have negative opinions about their future work.

  • googergieger

    Hate list eh? I don't know if it is slightly less sad or more sad this wasn't done in vlog form.

    In either case, this list was bad and you should feel bad.

  • Godtopus help me, I just upvoted a gg comment! Had no choice though, that shit was hilarious.

  • God Of Bal-Sagoth

    Complaining about baby pictures on Facebook is basically the same as the idiots who complain about it when Pajiba posts articles that aren't about movies (kind of like this article). It's a stupid complaint because it is easily within your power to avoid having to see/deal with it. Just like those idiots could simply NOT click the link, you could block that person or hide their posts or put them in a different group or whatever.

    You're basically voluntarily looking at something and then complaining because you looked. You have free will. Exercise it.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    But isn't hating on someone's pajiba hate list sort of the same thing as people complaining about pajiba posting non-movie articles? No one made anyone read that hate list....Yes? No? Either way, I'm loving the circle of hate.

    Also, I would submit that there are people who are the equivalent of facebook spam. They seek *you* out and of one reason or another you feel obligated to accept their friend request (they sit next to you at work or they're married to your cousin) and the next thing you know it's all baby pictures and "I'm eating toast, yummy" status updates overwhelming your feed like pop ups on a porn site. And if, like me, you use FB maybe four times a year, sure I could spend two hours getting all the privacy settings adjusted to whatever byzantine setup FB is doing now and spend time hiding individual feeds... but also just screw that idiot and their stupid. There's some golden ratio of exerting free will and spending free time and that's too much damn time (Too Much Damn Time party!). Plus there is no end to these clowns until we shame them, like burning the heads of the hydra after cutting one off, it's the only thing that keeps two from springing up in its place. Circle of hate!

    That said, I will totally see more of DR's kids.

  • Bea Pants

    "I Do Not. Get. This. Infernal. Show."

    Marry me. I'll bake cookies and we can binge watch BSG and Firefly until that damn blue police box never clouds our minds again.

  • chanohack

    I write SO MANY furious comments that I click away from without posting.

    We could be friends, if only you liked Doctor Who, weirdo.

  • I keep threatening to kill my fb account and then not doing it because stalking. That said - the thing that is pushing me over the cliff with facebook these days is that it has basically become an online newspaper of misery and rare childhood diseases. It's ridiculous how many "Pray For Gregory" links end up in my feed about a kid who can't breathe without losing a finger because of some rare genetic disorder that no one has ever heard of. When did this happen? The most insane thing is that I've seen at least 30 of these stories in my feed this year and not one of them is a repeat. It's all different kids with all different insane and baffling ailments. I'm sure this is coming off as hard hearted and dickish, but I can't deal. Show me your healthy ugly babies all day. It's like the worlds worst episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition but no one gets a new house, they just all want to end up on The Today Show or something. It's depressing on like 50 different levels. And don't even get me started about the fucking "If 1 million strangers acknowledge my existence then daddy will stop killing puppies" posts.

  • logan

    So then "Spring Breakers" is worth seeing? He says hopefully because the girls look very cute.

  • melissa82

    I love you Amanda. Could I get your phone number? We would totes hit it off. You can PM it to me.

  • Flor

    This

    The truth is, I’m mostly kind of a rotten person who is a little bit OVER daintily sipping from the positive outlook on life, and currently drinking heavily from the rage filled drama of darkness.

    Is glorious. It will also give you wrinkles in no time.

    And for the record, people's babies are ugly and stupid. Mine, on the other hand, are gorgeous and brilliant, which is why it's my duty to share them with the world.

  • ZombieNurse

    I kind of just want to give you a hug. You seem to need a hug. Come to Zombienurse.

  • jennp421

    My biggest pet peeve on Facebook is probably the people that share every single thing they see that they even slightly agree with or find funny - I'm all for sharing but when I have ten things in a row from you that are just things you saw somewhere else with the caption "LMAO," you need to take a minute a look at what you're doing. And stop thinking those stupid stories are cute. And nothing is going to happen to the picture if you type 1 in the comments.

  • I won't change. Facebook Feed Bombing 2004 -. Never forget.

  • Drake

    It is possible to set up those people so that you only see the actual important things that they post. I know I've done it with a lot of relatives. Don't ask me how, though. I have to re-figure out the FB stuff every time I use it because it all seems so counter-intuitive to my (senior software engineer) brain.

  • Eva

    Next time they post something annoying, go to the top right corner of their post's box and hit "hide", and then it will show a link saying "change what updates you get from so-n-so". Then you can pick "only important" or just uncheck for videos, pictures, etc. I use this feature ALL THE TIME.

  • Adrienne Marie

    Thank you. I thought I was the only person alive who couldn't stand Dr. Who. You rule.

  • Me

    Can I request that you take on Macklemore next week? Because UGH. People need to stop.

  • the_wakeful

    All this hate makes me happy.

  • pajiba

    As someone who periodically (maybe too much?) posts photos of their children on Facebook, and as someone who reads a lot of "STFU, Parents" and tries very hard not to be one THOSE people, I probably give far more thought to the notion of posting a picture of my children to Facebook than some others. I obviously wouldn't post them to the site's FB page, nor would I share them on Twitter, but there IS a certain intimacy to Facebook that lends itself to this. We live in a digital age. Many of our relationships are fostered on Facebook, and it's a much, much easier way to share our lives with friends and family (especially the ones we don't really care to interact with) than group text messaging, or a phone call, or even an email. It gives them a glimpse, but keeps them at arm's length. I feel like, if you signed up to follow Pajiba on FB or Twitter, your'e going to get links to our articles, but if you signed up to be friends with "Dustin Rowles," you're going be witness a little bit of my personal life, and that life proudly centers around kids, who -- like most parents -- I am completely incapable accurately of judging whether they are beautiful or ugly. But I HAVE to think that obnoxious photos of children are more interesting than photos of whatever beer someone is holding or the dinner they just cooked. But I want to know that, too, because if I'm following someone on FB, it means that I'm probably interested enough in the mundanities of their life to want to visualize them.

    TV Spoilers DURING the telecast, on the other hand ... THERE'S NO PLACE FOR THAT.

  • She is right about the babies you actually want to see never showing up on your feed. I freaking hate babies and kids but I'd love to see more photos of my adorable fat little nephew but my brother is too lazy to post any! But I have a friend with 5 horribly ugly children and he just. never. stops!

  • Bedewcrock

    For Facebook use, you can fall into one of two camps:

    1. You are hyper vigilant about only being friends with ACTUAL friends on Facebook......Congratulations, you like the babies.

    2. OR you're friends with people like maybe that girl you knew in 5th grade whose house you went over to for a sleepover that one time. Now you're 30 and you've both indulged in the Facebook stalking orb that Facebook has become by either friend requesting or accepting said friend request. I totally get it. THOSE are the parents of the babies you complain about. Your only idea of them is that one time you had a sleepover as an 11 year old and now whatever things they post on Facebook. This is just the world we live in.

    Also, I wholeheartedly agree with Twitter and Instagram users. I'm convinced everyone behaves like an irate Justin Bieber and/or Chris Brown super fan.

  • InternetMagpie

    You definitely don't post too many pictures of the mini-Rowles'. Not enough, I say.

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    Dustin - Just for the record, your kids are adorable.

  • Who the fuck downvoted this. Those kids are adorable, but then again, there's no such thing as an ugly Pajibaspawn.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    I love seeing kid pictures! LOVE. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks, tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox.

  • Quatermain

    So that's what Armour hot dogs are made out of.

  • Charlotte Preston

    If you think Lois`s story is unbelievable,, four weeks ago my cousins boyfriend also made $8849 grafting fifteen hours a week from there house and there roomate's step-sister`s neighbour has done this for 10-months and actually earned over $8849 parttime from there mac. use the guidelines from this website, Big31.Com

  • DeltaJuliet

    And more interesting than family members who are constantly updating their status with their work out routines. Or friends who are WELL INTO their 30's and still take selfies in the mirror. Or people who are very obviously digging for compliments and "wow, how do you DO it all" comments.
    Apparently, everyone thinks they are more interesting. attractive and accomplished than everyone else. Who knew.

  • anikitty

    I only checking in at the gym to get free stuff. But even I find it annoying.

  • anikitty

    *check in* not checking in

  • chanohack

    UGH, the "how do I do it all" posts. I'm friends with a lot of Christian ladies who seem to think it's fine to brag about how they cook a pot roast, clean all the things, paint a picture, entertain their kids with cute activities, run 13 miles, donate time at a soup kitchen, rescue horses, and have date night with their husbands, as long as they end it with "I'm sooooooooo blessed!"

  • Facebook was MADE for humble-bragging. Doesn't make it any less obnoxious though.

  • DeltaJuliet

    The part that drives me batty is that most of my friends who do that DON'T EVEN WORK outside of the home, and a good portion of their kids are in school all day. Usually my response is, yeah, I do all that after I finish working all day. Good job.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    No offense, but that's almost as obnoxious as "I do all that and I have kids." I would find it kind of hilarious if a mom posted back to that "there's a reason I chose not to have a job." If I was on Facebook at all to see that.

  • DeltaJuliet

    Oh I'm not offended and I fully accept that it's obnoxious! I think I'm just tired of everyone who needs a pat on the back all the time. We're all busy, you know? No one is calling me a hero for doing my job and living my life.
    Maybe I need to post on FB about that ;)

  • Anna von Beav

    I'm 42 and I take HILARIOUS selfies in the mirror, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • ,

    Send some of those selfies my way. I've always imagined you're smokin.'

  • DeltaJuliet

    Hilarious selfies are encouraged. Look at my abs/ sunglasses/ duck lips selfies ARE NOT.

  • Anna von Beav

    ...I accept your premise.

  • Cree83

    Dude, I'm constantly getting requests for more baby pictures. Not just from parents and siblings, but from random aunts, cousins, in-laws, friends.... I'm not going to sift through my contacts AND my husband's to try to parse out all interested parties to text pictures to when it's so much simpler and faster to post on facebook. I've got a 1 month old baby to keep alive and I'm trying to keep things LESS complicated, not more. It's so easy to unsubscribe from peoples' feeds; I've done it to anybody that posts food or cat pictures. I hope anyone annoyed with my baby will bypass the whining and do the same to me.

  • I can understand hating on cat pictures, especially ones that are the same one and emblazoned with the Cheezburger logo, but food pictures? Go home, Cree83, you're not drunk enough.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I can understand being busy with a new baby but what's with the hate for cat or food photos? Sounds like you need to get some sleep.

  • Cree83

    I'll welcome a picture of a kitten, but an adult cat, just sitting there? Boring! Also, half the food pictures posted on my feed come with a plug for the paleo diet, or atkins, or some other life changing food philosophy about which I have no interest in hearing. 20% are pictures taken in poorly lit restaurants with the flash off where you can't tell what anything is. The rest might be okay pictures, but what's the point if they're just going to make me hungry and I can't have any??

    But I hope all those people keep posting those pictures if it makes them happy. That's why I love the unsubscribe button.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    You've obviously never seen Colonel Meow. Maybe I'm easily amused but this cat makes me laugh every time I look at him.

  • I have a friend with a Siamese that's named Emperor Meow and he's freaking awesome.

  • DeltaJuliet

    Same for the people who LOSE it over game requests or whatever (no, I don't send them). Seriously, just skip that shit. I'm not overly interested in EVERYONE'S lives either. But I'm not going to lose real friends over it.

  • Anna von Beav

    Seriously. I get game requests (and calendar requests and birthday requests and quiz requests etc. etc. etc.) all the time. I don't want to play any of them.

    So I ignore them. The end.

  • Well, this is miserable.

  • katy

    "Married Dudes Who Want To Be Friends With You

    NO."

    You are solid.

  • srslytho

    Yeah... Good hate and all, but didn't you brag that you've already seen Iron Man 3?

  • the dude

    The Dude also abides this Doctor Who hate!!

  • zeke snorts his big old snout straight into this hate trough also

  • the dude

    fuck it pig, let's go bowling!!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is that from an Elephant and Piggie book?

  • the dude

    I did not watch my buddies die face down in the mud so this fucking whore Mrs. Julien would riducule them!! ;)

  • JayWantsACat

    I refused (REFUSED!) to open a Facebook account, then caved late last year (maybe mid-year). I just get annoyed...no, infuriated by it on a constant basis. I hate the vaguebooking. I hate the number of kids photos. I hate the "clever" posts people make. And yes, I also hate that when on the rare occassion I actually post something, it gets less 'likes' then some jackass's asinine post about the weather or whatever.
    I read an article where someone suggested making a second account for all of the articles, companies, whatever that you end up 'liking' but don't really want or need people to see. I think the solution to my issue is to do that for my "friends". Separate out all their annoying posts, which I'll then rarely check, and have another one for all my page likes, which is all I really want from my FB account anyways.

  • chanohack

    Posts about the weather aren't brilliant or anything, but I don't understand why talking about the weather is considered the most boring thing ever. It's actually one of the most relatable things ever. Everyone has experienced the weather, and sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it sucks and sometimes it's fucking terrifying. Talking about the weather is like talking about life. Life/weather in New York is different from New Mexico is different from Seattle is different from Hawaii, and it's a difference we all have in common.

  • JayWantsACat

    I wasn't really equating it to boring or anything but it was a poor example by me of a point I was trying to make. I just meant mundane posts seems to garner the same, but more often more, attention/'likes' than those that are more unique, in my opinion. Why people 'like' "Dinner's ready!" as much as literally anything else is beyond my understanding. I have an aunt who 'likes' everything everyone posts, so I guess those people contribute to that. Its sort of an enabling feedback loop, I guess. "I'll like this person's post, who'll then like mine regardless of content!" And what's up with the people who contantly post stupid things but can never be bothered to 'like' anyone else's?

    As you can see, I should really just shut my account down because this all really does bother me a bit. haha

    But I do agree weather talk can be very relevent and engaging, though.

  • yocean

    You liked Spring Breakers?! I got nothing for you, ever. no shit or rat-ass- or sky-high-mucus-flingin'-flying-fuck for anything you write. Ever. Regretting I gave it a chance.

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