web counter
 

The Five Tearjerkiest Commercials

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (97)

coca-cola-openhappiness.jpg

There’s nothing more satisfying for a filmmaker than the ability to use cheap, manipulative tricks in order to crassly elicit your tears. Over the years, no one has perfected this art better than commercial directors, who can use the power of cheap contrivances to jerk the tears right the hell out of your face and compel you to buy their product. Look! Here’s a dying man! Buy our insurance. Awwww … look at those puppy dog eyes. Please send a donation! Support the troops. Drink Bud Light!

After countless hours of YouTube research, I officially declare these five commercials as the tear jerkiest. So, here’s Pajiba’s Official Five-Minute Challenge — If you can watch these five TV ad spots without misting up, then you deserve to be labeled cynics. There should be something here to hit all of your weak spots: Geeks, patriots, animal lovers, and saps. I’ll even throw in a bonus one for the Canadians.

5. Anheuser-Busch

4. Google

Bonus Coke Commercial for Canadians

3. ASPCA

2. GNP Seguros


1. The One That Will Push You Over the Edge









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Review: Devil In A Blue Dress | The Rebirth of Slick | Female Orgasms Revealed to be Evil Plot to Take Over the World | Pajiba Dirty Talk →









Comments

Stupid clapping for the soldiers commercial gets me every time.

I will NOT watch the sad puppies though. You can't make me Sarah McLaughlin!

Posted by: Julie at June 15, 2010 3:30 PM

*CRap* 32 seconds in on the Bud one!

Posted by: Ms MoMO at June 15, 2010 3:32 PM

I held off tears, but I was close.

That ASPCA commercial had me practically sobbing the first time I saw it, but then they played it like every other commercial on some channel I must watch a lot because now it just annoys the fuck out of me.

Posted by: Lindsay at June 15, 2010 3:36 PM

God dammit. I thought it'd be the animal one, but I lost on the last one. This is going to make a lot of people mad.

Posted by: Lucas at June 15, 2010 3:38 PM

No fair - I'm pregnant and hormonal!

Posted by: slogirl at June 15, 2010 3:44 PM

Aw, fuck me runnin'...
those ASPCA spots get me EVERY FUCKIN' time!

Yeah, those others really do tug at the heart strings, but the ASPCA ones just destroy my soul.

Kindly fuck off, Rowles.


*sniffle*

Posted by: Rykker at June 15, 2010 3:45 PM

What is this? A functional exam of my tear glands? They work just fine, thank you.

Posted by: io at June 15, 2010 3:46 PM

The Anheuser-Busch one got my eyes misty. But it wasn't until the last one that I had to go find the kleenex. I'm sending the link to my sister, she's a bigger sap than I am.

Posted by: DoubleH at June 15, 2010 3:47 PM

The ones that always used to get me were those phone commercials where they'd warp reality to make it seem like things that were happening over the phone were happening in real life. Specifically the older woman sitting on the bus with her grandson playing a grand piano at the front, which you come to find out is the boy's parent holding up a phone at the recital with the older woman on the other phone.

I'm seriously tearing up right now. But then I should explain that the way I learned how to remember the notes of the treble clef in sheet music was with the mnemonic Every Good Boy Disappoints Father.

Posted by: vercordio at June 15, 2010 3:47 PM

Damn, that last one slayed me.

Posted by: LowSlash at June 15, 2010 3:48 PM

Goddamnit. Fuck sad animals. That shit is not legit when I'm not allowed to get a pet in my apartment.

And no, there was just something in my eye. Shut up.

Posted by: Kalexal at June 15, 2010 3:49 PM

aw vercordio - how sad! Everyone knows it's Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge!

Posted by: mswas at June 15, 2010 3:49 PM

You know what ad killed me? The "You'll Never Walk Alone" Proctor & Gamble one from the Olympics. Sniff.

Posted by: samantha t at June 15, 2010 3:49 PM

Emotion Porn?
No thanks.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 15, 2010 3:54 PM

Hmmm...no tears for me. Though the first time I saw the Google one it got me. I really hate that ASPCA commcercial. I change the channel everytime it comes on.

Posted by: Nimue at June 15, 2010 3:54 PM

Ok, I lasted all of 24 seconds into the first commercial...I'm weak.

Posted by: griffimx at June 15, 2010 3:57 PM

Clapping soldiers took some effort, but the SPCA ones are too obvious. They don't affect me. But the last one? When the baby gripped his father's hand? Oh, fuck you.

The other one that always gets me is the AT&T ad where the father takes his daughter's stuffed monkey on a business trip and photographs the monkey at various landmarks so the girl knows where her father is. The last pic is taken in front of their house and the girl runs outside and hugs her father.

Goddammit. I hate you for this, Rowles. I think I need to go call my mother.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 15, 2010 3:57 PM

What is the last commercial even for? I assume it's not a cure for cancer.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 15, 2010 3:58 PM

What does this say about me that the only onr that made me tender in the eye duct region was the ASPCA clip?

Posted by: dorkydragon at June 15, 2010 3:58 PM

The bonus Canadian video still doesn't get me... this is the one that does it.

Winter, Tim Horton's... oh god it's starting...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzmHwF2G4Vk

Posted by: Kelsey at June 15, 2010 3:58 PM

The last one just killed me. I lose.

Posted by: Snath at June 15, 2010 4:02 PM

What the FUCK? I just watched the final one...is that the commercial reincarnation of that sob-fest monstrosity My Life with Michael Keaton? Manipulative crap. He's just going to turn into Beetlejuice anyways.

Posted by: Julie at June 15, 2010 4:02 PM

The last one is not a commercial. It's a molester of any parent's emotions. Even the slightly-off translation did nothing to soften the impact. As if it wasn't terrible enough, they drop the "My Life" hammer at the end.

If I end up with terminal cancer before my wife gives birth again, I am totally doing the Life Video thing. Then I'll force it to be made into a commercial in my will and I will be number one on this list! Mwahahahahahaha!!!!

Posted by: Kballs at June 15, 2010 4:04 PM

Nothing beats the Duchovney-voiced Pedigree ads, with the sad lonely dog in a cage and the his voice just going, "I am a good dog" and then the people come and look and the dog's all excited and then they walk away and the poor dog is like...

Aw, fuck.

I'll be right back. There's... they must be working on the drywall in here or something.

Shit.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 15, 2010 4:04 PM

You think THAT #1 commercial is sad and manipulative? Try this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT_155-ROy0

Asians are not afraid to make you cry if it'll make you buy, man.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 15, 2010 4:05 PM

That Google commercial gets me every time. That little American boy doesn't know what a truffle is! I want to put him in my pocket!

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at June 15, 2010 4:05 PM

that was so unfair. my cold heart withstood all but the last one. that rips me up inside. the stories you hear of people leaving instructions for their kids, books for their kids, love letters to their kids when they are terminal...ugh.
i need a tissue

Posted by: courtney at June 15, 2010 4:06 PM

Or at least that one life insurance company sure isn't, since I just realized it's the same company logo at the end. Geeze. They are not playing around.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 15, 2010 4:06 PM

God, that damn dog commercial destroys my eyes. I have to change the channel every time it's on. I've turned off my tv to avoid that thing before.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 15, 2010 4:06 PM

Oh oh, also, how about that horrific sad seatbelt commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-8PBx7isoM

Right down to the little kid with her butterfly wings and everything. GEEZE.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 15, 2010 4:09 PM

Nat Kittyface
you suck. not only am i cry, but that one hurt.

Posted by: courtney at June 15, 2010 4:10 PM

Oh, I see. A big post-death cash windfall makes up for your Dad not loving you enough.

Emotional!

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 15, 2010 4:10 PM

*crying

Posted by: courtney at June 15, 2010 4:11 PM

If it makes you feel any better, courtney, I've already SEEN both of those ads and I teared up just going to their youtube pages to link them to the rest of you guys.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 15, 2010 4:11 PM

I loved the Google one when I first saw it (at a Superbowl party that had sparse booze, so I was neither alone nor drunk, which are the conditions needed for me to cry at TV commercials). That being said, the fifth one where the old man still sees his wife as a beautiful twenty-something? Soooo sweet.

The last one is just damaging. I was tearing up at "we're running out of time!" and I didn't even know why I should be sad yet.

Posted by: electricdaisy at June 15, 2010 4:14 PM

Yeah, Johnson, those Duchovney/Pedigree spots are evil, too.

There's the one where the dog is like "Aw, Fuck," and you're crushed, and then they show "And here he is NOW," and he's been adopted and like, all happy and shit and jumpin' all happypuppy-like all over the place and ya freakin' BUST OUT in tears.

Stoopid commercials.

Perhaps we BOTH need to stop drinking...

Posted by: Rykker at June 15, 2010 4:16 PM

That little American boy doesn't know what a truffle is! I want to put him in my pocket!

Also a subtle part I like, he enters "cafes near the louve" and then clicks on the suggested spelling correction.

Posted by: branded at June 15, 2010 4:21 PM

Holy HELL Nat Kittyface. That ad about wanting more time with his musician son is just brutal.

Posted by: electricdaisy at June 15, 2010 4:21 PM

Hallmark commercials make me cry, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. The new one where the daughters find out their dad has kept every card they ever gave him kills me, that one where the mom makes her kid give a card to the lonely old lady next door does me in, but the one where the woman buys a card and you find out it's for her brother with Down Syndrome who's moved into an apartment by himself DESTROYED me.

Posted by: Courtney at June 15, 2010 4:22 PM

I think I need to go call my mother.

Ha Ha! Tracer has FEELINGS!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 15, 2010 4:27 PM

Oh good god that last one has me blubbering. DAMN YOU ROWLES.

Posted by: figgy at June 15, 2010 4:32 PM

SHUT UP!!! I'M CRYING BECAUSE OF...COMMUNISM. YEAH. COMMUNISM....ALL THAT...GREY OR SOMETHING! IT'S HORRIBLE!!!!!!!


Seriously though...an airport full of people applauding troops....I mean...what chance do I stand?

Now I'm gonna go youtube those videos of little kids dads coming back from combat before the kid expected it and the kid losing their shit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRf_R6ieAPA&feature=related

Like that!! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK AM I EXPECTED TO DO!?

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 4:34 PM

Fuck you, I couldn't make it past 4 seconds of the dog one. NO. STOP LOOKING AT ME DOG STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Posted by: figgy at June 15, 2010 4:34 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpohfny7jWg&feature=related

AND THIS!? WHAT THE HELL!!!! WHY AM I SEARCHING THIS?!

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 4:36 PM

The Hallmark ones also get to me, Courtney. Did you see the one for Mother's Day, where the teenage waitress got one for her coworker because she was like a mom to her? And the coworker got all weepy and they hugged and I was a complete mess.

I can't watch the ASPCA ad. It breaks my heart, but it no longer makes me cry. Probably because that commercial airs every 20 minutes. I've seen Noah Wyle sponsor those, too.

Posted by: Brie at June 15, 2010 4:43 PM

Does anyone else remember the old McDonald's ads? Little boy on the porch complaining "I had blue eyes first" when the new sibling comes home and grandpa takes him to McyDs? Or the one where the kid watches the sunset with his dad and his happy meal and when it's over looks up and says "Do it again Dad." Those used to get me every time and I LOATHE McDonalds.

Posted by: jack at June 15, 2010 4:46 PM

I always cried at that anti-smoking commercial where the old man says "My wife was my life". Also the home video where the angelic little baby girl is laughing and you can hear the father saying "Who's my little girl?" and then it tells you that she was killed by a drunk driver. I hate the drunk driving one where the cop pulls the kids over and then gets hit by a passing car too. Screw you sad commercials.

Posted by: becks at June 15, 2010 4:52 PM

I've seen the ASPCA one on TV several times; it doesn't make me sad, it just annoys me. I'm all for manipulation, but that's taking it a bit far.

The Google one doesn't make me cry, but it does put a smile on my face every time I see it. Also, I can never watch it just once. The others had the same Sweetness Factor. The Coke one filled me with some serious Canadian pride. I haven't lived there in over ten years.

The last one, though? I saw the edge coming and I still went flying right over it.

Posted by: sillytwoshoes at June 15, 2010 4:54 PM

The pantene commercial is missing, folks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9KsrH377A

Oh, and the other one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WoppI99pGE&feature=player_embedded

Damn, there are people out there who can make me bawl my eyes out with a forty second clip. How do they do that??

Posted by: Rooks at June 15, 2010 4:55 PM

What about the anti-smoking one where the mom is watching the little kid walking, and it looks like the Granpda is there to catch her/him? And then the kid runs through him, and the mom says "I wish Grandpa could see you" or something. Used to hit me hard.

Posted by: Snath at June 15, 2010 4:59 PM

I can't think of any british adverts that have ever actually made me cry...some cancer ones that catch me out every now and then but nothing like these.

I mean my god.

I'm trying to tell my mum about the soldier one and I cant get past 'then they all stand up' before I just start snivelling

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 5:03 PM

Thanks. Now I have to go watch an episode of Jersey Shore to reaffirm a burning hatred for humanity. Well, that and the duck phone. Love that phone.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 15, 2010 5:04 PM

How about dogs welcoming soldier home?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNKOGsV5J7s

Posted by: mswas at June 15, 2010 5:07 PM

Nadine, the seatbelt one I linked to above is from Sussex, sooo... there you go. I'll have you know that I cry EVERY TIME I SEE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. I don't know how it does that to me. I hate kids. I'm not big on traditional nuclear families. But the slow motion and the daughter with her goddamn butterfly wings and their desperate clinging to the husband and the dramatic music and shit...it tears my wee soul apart like I'm in Hellraiser.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at June 15, 2010 5:08 PM

The only piece of cinema or commercial land that has ever made me cry is Field of Dreams, which does get me every time. Call me a heartless monster, but it takes more than sappy songs and sad puppies to start the water works.

Posted by: Reina at June 15, 2010 5:09 PM

I am not watching the ASPCA commercial. Not happening.
The google one made me misty (I was surprised) but the last one has me blubbering all over myself.
And now I have a headache. Yes, crying gives me a headache because I think I'm allergic to my own tears.

Posted by: MyySharona at June 15, 2010 5:09 PM

mswas NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *rapidly and tearfully dehydrates TO DEATH. TO DEATH MSWAS. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY*

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 5:10 PM

YOU MADE A PREGNANT WOMAN CRY! I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, DUSTIN!

Jerk.

Posted by: stardust at June 15, 2010 5:18 PM

Dude. How could you not include the Ikea lamp commercial? Do not feel sorry for the lamp. The lamp does not have feelings. Though, in retrospect, I may have been crying because I realized consumer culture had moved beyond me... into a strange meta-world.

Posted by: sheshakes at June 15, 2010 5:21 PM

@ Mswas: That one's a winner. Ya got me.

I have herding dogs... and those butts are just wigglin like a mo-fo.
And the barking. Ok, this one makes me happy, not sad. Still teary though!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at June 15, 2010 5:27 PM

Okay Nat *watches*


THE HELL!!! You people are trying to kill me and I totally resent that.

I'm gonna go watch like...Die Hard.

Or...maybe not Die Hard cos that movie has some sniffly moments...Porn! Yeah! And I'll not cry by not thinking about all the daddy issues those women have

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 5:32 PM

LOL, I knew I was pregnant the first time when I cried at the movie Backdraft. I was like WTF, I hate this movie! What is wrong with me!?! I immediately went to the store and bought a pregnancy test. I was glad to be able to blame the manipulated tears on hormones.

The ASPCA one makes me glad that I can ff through commercials, I can't see it without tearing up.

That last commercial is heartbreaking, I was a weeping mess.

Posted by: Mebe at June 15, 2010 5:37 PM

I DO NOT. Bitch owes me money.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 15, 2010 5:38 PM

Yeah, the Pedigree "I am a good dog" spot gets me way more than the ASPCA one does. Every time.

"I am a good dog, and I just want to go home."

Whoever wrote that is a goddam genius.

Posted by: Slash at June 15, 2010 5:48 PM

I've seen the last one before. I think it's an ad for insurance. That business tends to generate a lot of tearjerking "make sure the children you might never live to see grow up are taken care of after you die" spots.

It's to distract you from the fact that insurance companies are rat bastards.

Posted by: Slash at June 15, 2010 5:53 PM

Call me a species traitor if you want, but the last one did NOTHING for me.

The ASPCA one kills me though. I WILL change channels to avoid it.

Posted by: MM at June 15, 2010 5:54 PM

Ya, agreed. The ASPCA one gets me every time, so I finally donated a couple bucks to alleviate my guilt. Totally worked.

Almost every Olympics commercial makes me cry, but you picked the least sappy one. Okay, I'm not Canadian, true... But this one got me EVERY SINGLE TIME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSn5Z7EC4ME.

Posted by: Ruth at June 15, 2010 5:55 PM

alright, with the exception of the google commercial none of that had anything to do with their products. I know they were just supposed to make you all teary eyed but fuck you advertisers, get off your ass and show me why I should purchase your shit.

Oh and some of you may bring up the ASPCA commercial as hawking their product...I do not deny this, however the sheer volume of times that I have seen that on TV makes it counter productive. I skipped it when I got to it on this site because its presence makes me furious and I didn't want it to influence me as I watched the other ads. It's like troy's big cookie, and I feel sick.

Even so...i'll admit that google one got me.

Posted by: Dulli at June 15, 2010 6:00 PM

Aw, Rowles. Fuck you, and fuck me, too.

Posted by: Meggrs at June 15, 2010 6:21 PM

The Parisian Google ad I first saw in French class and it made my heart melt into a neat little puddle of mush and molasses. Sad commercials are truly something, because it's all the maudlin drama of a Nicholas Sparks novel into a thirty second spot.
The saddest commercial I ever saw was one for Master Card where a dog gets lost, and he's looking for his family and GAH FUCK I CAN'T KEEP MY EYES FROM MOISTENING! Seriously, I had seen it a billion times, but one time I just could hardly keep from weeping.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at June 15, 2010 6:26 PM

I don't see what you're all talking about. None of these had me crying. They are beautiful, sure. But not sad.

Granted, I couldn't watch the dog clip. Fuck you, Sony!

Posted by: FabMax at June 15, 2010 7:19 PM

Great, I'm all teary now. My unborn baby girl is crying over the thought of losing a father she's never met, and all her fetus tears are making me have to pee. So thanks, Dustin, for making me cry and have to pee.

Posted by: Suz at June 15, 2010 8:01 PM

Well, that was an interesting way to spend an afternoon -- looking up Thai insurance commercials and bawling my eyes out. There are more, people.

I'm such an easy target.

Posted by: Jelinas at June 15, 2010 8:10 PM

I hate you for that.

::SOBS::

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at June 15, 2010 8:17 PM

Nat Kittyface, thanks for completely destroying the last remnants of my emotional stability today with that stupid father-son time commercial

Posted by: bjlove at June 15, 2010 8:38 PM

Jeez, I was waiting for the last one to black out to "got milk?"

Posted by: MisterMJ at June 15, 2010 9:01 PM

The ASPCA commercial keeps me up at night. I hate that one so much because it just bums me out. And its like, 10 minutes long! or so it seems, anyway.
Poor kitties...


Another one that makes me cry is the one about the holocaust survivors who need sponsors. Poor old Jewish people... one day, they will probably get $25 out of me.

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at June 15, 2010 9:34 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfAxUpeVhCg

This Australian anti-smoking ad gets me all the time and I don't even have kids!

Posted by: seraf at June 15, 2010 9:48 PM

Mean Joe Greene Coke commercial?

Anyone? Anyone?

Posted by: , at June 15, 2010 9:50 PM

There was an ad running about twelve years ago for dog food which had a golden retriever and a little girl. It had the same scene replay about four times: girl calls dog to come up steps to her; dog comes. The first scene had the dog as a puppy, and the little girl was six or eight. Each new scene took place about four or five years after the previous one. In the last scene the girl is grown, and the dog is too old to climb the stairs, so she goes to him. I was pregnant when it ran, and every time I saw it, I cried 'til I barfed.

Posted by: rotten at June 15, 2010 9:52 PM

This was certainly depressing. I need something lighthearted to cheer me up. Something pure and innocent and fun, like a kid's cartoon. I think I'll go for an Up/Monsters, Inc. double feature.
...
...
...
...
Dammit.

Posted by: the_gardenhead at June 15, 2010 9:56 PM

That brain tumor one is something right out of fucking Grey's Anatomy and it still made me cry. I am so weak.

Posted by: Debbye at June 15, 2010 10:15 PM

As a Canadian living in Thailand... seriously dude. Killing me. I made it about 24 seconds in to the hockey one and was actively sobbing all through the Thai insurance ad. It's actually worse when you can understand the Dad's message to his baby.

Posted by: Kru Peach at June 15, 2010 10:30 PM

9:50: "Hey kid. Catch." Misty.

You're dating yourself!

Posted by: samantha t at June 15, 2010 10:31 PM

Jesus Christ welcome to the Beaver Bash.

Well played Rowles.

Posted by: C.C. Divine at June 15, 2010 10:40 PM

Nope, didn't work. I sold my soul to Milhouse for $5.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at June 15, 2010 10:51 PM

I wish I came in on this thread earlier, but school has me pretty busy as of late.

Last week in my visual studies class my teacher played us this Short made for LG Portugal. I've watched the above commercials and personally I don't find any of them to be any more tear-jerkier than this one!

Enjoy...

http://vimeo.com/11932087

Posted by: Jax at June 15, 2010 10:51 PM

I am not a crier. I have never cried at a movie or book. Never. But that last one got me teared up. Though in my defense I am on my period and extremely exhausted so your timing is excellent Rowles. There's another one that gets me. All kinds of kids say "one day I'll *insert normal child activity here*" and the last kid says "one day I'll make you proud" and it cuts to a screen that says 1000 some children will be adopted in one day. IT GETS ME EVERY TIME. Something about adoption man...

Posted by: E-Money at June 15, 2010 10:57 PM

Not a sniffle.

Posted by: Sarah at June 15, 2010 11:24 PM

All right, I feel like I have to weigh in with a personal favorite: The VW Pink Moon Commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIOW9fLT9eY&feature=related

This came out about twelve, thirteen years ago. You know why this is my favorite commercial of all time? Because it's aimed at a teen-age demographic and NEVER ONCE does it does it utilize the marketing industry's tried and tested formula for attempting to sell something to what are still basically children. It does not utilize:

1. Shame (About not being good looking enough)

2. Guilt (About not being rich enough)

3. Conformity (By not using some "hip" flavor of-the-month band on the soundtrack to elicit callow feelings of superiority based upon one's youth and the marketing industry's constant attempts to exploit it)

4. Peer Pressure (See: Above. Also, please remember that conformity and peer pressure are two different things)

5. Sex (See 1. 2. 3. & 4.)

While we, as well as the Media and the Marketing Industry, often try to fool ourselves into thinking that our teen-age years were, or are, the best years of our lives, quite often it's just the opposite.

Let's face it, being young SUCKS. You're usually broke, you have low self-esteem, you have yet to develop a fully-formed sense of self-identity, you're desperate for meaningful physical and emotional contact with another human being and are often denied doing so by arbitrary and false socio-economic variables of status, and you are still under the control of adults who cannot remember or will refuse to admit any of the above out of the fear it will brand them as failures as parents.

All this while being constantly bombarded by cynically manipulative media exploiting your fears and worries, hopes and dreams into buying something that you don't need and will not make you happy. And that you probably can't afford anyway.

Meanwhile you're surrounded by smug, wealthy douches who know that all they have to do in a couple of years is suck some other dude's dick for initiation into the fraternity of their choice which will then allow them a lifetime of power and privilege, culminating in a political career where they get to vote against gay marriage and for the war in Iraq/Iran/Pakistan/Whatever Because It's Not Going To Be Their Smug And Wealthy Children Who Will Go Off And Fight In It.

And while this commercial did somewhat exploit a teen-ager's typical desire for freedom(If you have a car, you can do whatever and go wherever you want), it also showed the target audience what you were supposed to do with that freedom:

You don't have to do something you don't want to because everyone else is doing it. Sometimes the best moments in your life you'll remember often have nothing whatsoever to do with what was expected of you, and instead were about what you did yourself because you wanted to, and because you thought for yourself.

I'd like to think that somewhere there's a youth counselor in some shitty fucking school being paid a shitty fucking wage, and when some wannabe hard-boiled kid asks them how they got into this racket, they reply: "Well, I was in advertising. And then I made a commercial for kids where I told them it was OK for them to do what they wanted to do instead of blindly following the fucking herd, and I got fired. And I never looked back."

Posted by: TheUpsetter at June 16, 2010 12:10 AM

speaking of crying like a baby...
i just watched friday night lights "the son" (i think i'm 2 episodes back?). i was openly weeping. i just want to wrap matt saracen in my arms and hold him.
stupid emotions.

Posted by: courtney at June 16, 2010 3:14 AM

I think I've realised that I'm Cruella De Ville

I didn't feel anything... not even at the last one

I kept getting annoyed by translations and wondering what it advertised...

Posted by: Camilla at June 16, 2010 8:33 AM

STATE FARM with Jackson 5 singing "I'll Be There." I cannot believe you missed this - that is the saddest commercial of all time. At one point they actually have a female solider returning home and hugging her child as they reunite. I dare you to survive that.

Posted by: J at June 16, 2010 10:14 AM

The one that always gets me is the Coke commercial played during the last few Olympics. The combination of the Sia song from the finale of Six Feet Under (which was a KILLER tearjerker) and all the happy Olympians and Special Olympians equals unavoidable watery eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ModNZISuLro

Posted by: soxgirl at June 16, 2010 1:11 PM

0:16 into the Bud one. Damn you!!

Posted by: FyreHaar at June 16, 2010 1:50 PM

No, screw the pets. The only dog I care about is mine.
However, the last one MURDERED me. Did you ever see this one? That one did me in even further.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkoRDFjBh44
Thai Insurance knows its shit.

But if you're looking for an ACTUALLY touching Canadian commercial, go to Tim Hortons. I submit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzmHwF2G4Vk
That played about 638 times during the Olympics and dammit, I grinned at every one of them.

Posted by: Ling at June 16, 2010 2:09 PM

Soldiers comming home did nothing for me.
Sad dogs did nothing for me (And I'm a sucker for dogs that ad was just lame)
Coke and Hockey didn't even register why it should be emotional.
That google one had me welling up, the old man one had me welling up and I turned off the last one half way through cause I was crying too much.

Posted by: Ben at June 16, 2010 10:15 PM