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Celebrating Towel Day in Typical Pajiba Fashion

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (62)



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Today is May 25th, Annual Towel Day, the day each year in which we all carry a towel as a tribute to the late author, Douglas Adams. A towel, of course, is the most important thing a Hitchhiker can have; to know where your towel is is to control your life. They’re also great for scaring away Vogons.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)”

— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

So wear those towels proudly, folks. Other items of clothing are, as always, optional. This is how we celebrate Towel Day at the Jiba:


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Comments

Phew. I thought you forgot the BAMBER. My worries were unfounded. This is a wonderful scroll down with my morning coffee.

Posted by: Scully at May 25, 2011 9:30 AM

Damn. Why can't it be Drop The Towel Day?

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at May 25, 2011 9:38 AM

Can I just spend the day frantically cutting and pasting Hitchhiker's Guide quotes. I have quite a list. I'll go count...

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 9:41 AM

84

Let me know.

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 9:45 AM

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught now and shot."

(I couldn't resist.)

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 9:46 AM

I love Pajiba.

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at May 25, 2011 9:48 AM

"That's right," shouted Vroomfondel, "we demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 9:50 AM

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. … Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.


Thanks for recognizing this day... I am carrying around my towel, but at least while I'm at work I'm keeping my shirt on!

Posted by: El L Cool J at May 25, 2011 9:53 AM

Well, I like Towel Day.

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 25, 2011 9:56 AM

and of course you had the Doctor in a towel...

And I seem to remember (blind me) many a time that Sipowicz from NYPD Blue dropping his towel

Posted by: El L Cool J at May 25, 2011 9:57 AM

I have a feeling a lot of people are going to get up to 47 times from this list IYKWIM. Though maybe they'll stop at 42, just the fit with the theme of the day.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 9:59 AM

RIP Douglas. You are missed. So long and thanks for all the fish.

Posted by: Kala at May 25, 2011 10:00 AM

It is a mistake to think that you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:01 AM

2: pictures of half-naked women in towels.
9: pictures of half-naked men in towels (how many pictures of Jared Padelicki do you see?)

Equality, people. It's as simple as counting to ten.

Posted by: buzz-kill superasente, second-class readership of Pajiba at May 25, 2011 10:12 AM

"Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout."

In my ideal world, Leslie Knope will quote this one day on Parks and Rec.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 25, 2011 10:14 AM

"It is a mistake to think that you can solve any major problems with just potatoes."

Scarecrow: Oddly enough it's also National Fish and Chips Day. One has to wonder if this isn't a valiant attempt to solve a major problem with potatoes.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 25, 2011 10:15 AM

superasente:

You are assuming that 100% of the male Pajiban readership is heterosexual. This is probably a lot more equal when you add in our gay male Pajibans.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 25, 2011 10:17 AM

I think this calls for some celebratory poetry!

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 25, 2011 10:20 AM

Ah, THERE'S Bamber. Most epic towel moment ever, not including the time my college girlfriends stole my clothes and bath towel from the communal shower and left me with a NKOTB shirt and a leg brace.

Posted by: Julie at May 25, 2011 10:21 AM

Sing it brother superasente! I thought the same thing. We are oppressed here by the females! End the estrogen oppression!

Posted by: logan at May 25, 2011 10:21 AM

So are you assuming the entire female readership is hetero*? Lesbians want pretty too!

(*-Though it is likely somewhat less than the percentage of gay male Pajibans I would guess.)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM

toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc

What? No pocket fluff?

Posted by: Paultera at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM

I'm not saying I wouldn't be willing to participate in the attempt to solve it with just potatoes; moreover, potatoes with vinegar and battered fish sound, to me, like they could take on most any issue.

"That young girl," he added unexpectedly, " is one of the least benightedly unintelligent life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:22 AM

Standing still, alone, she seemed almost sombre, like a statue to some important but unpopular virtue in a formal garden.

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:25 AM

OH MY GAWD YOU PEOPLE GET BOOB POSTS ALL THE TIME. Yeah, I said "you people." It happened.

Also, I'm love with the people challenging the heteronormativity. LOVE! HAPPY TOWEL DAY, YOU HETERONORMOS.

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at May 25, 2011 10:26 AM

"He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."

"Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike" has got to be my favorite descriptor of all time.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 10:26 AM

I understand that May 25th is two weeks after the day that Adams died, but was April 2nd (4/2) ever considered?

And to the bean picture counters, DON'T PANIC!

Posted by: branded at May 25, 2011 10:28 AM

C'mon Soc get off the fence. Join us to end the estrogen oppression now! Or continue to willing serve under the women for their pleasure!

Posted by: logan at May 25, 2011 10:29 AM

"Well, in the circumstances I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do. I was compelled," said Arthur, "to ignore it."

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:30 AM

She was mostly immensely relived to think that virtually everything that anybody had ever told her was wrong.

(That one and the potatoes may be my two favourites. Also all of Chapter 29 in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It's the one with the philosopher.)

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:32 AM

"It was in the ticket queue."

"The --"

"The ticket queue. Or so they claim. They refuse to elaborate. They only say you wouldn't believe how bored it is possible to get in the ticket queue at Fenchurch Street Station."

Posted by: fenchurch at May 25, 2011 10:41 AM

Spend a few thousand million years in a job and eventually you get promoted, I have my own bucket now. Finally, I am somebody

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 25, 2011 10:43 AM

was April 2nd (4/2) ever considered?

I'd guess not, due to the format differences between countries (4/2 American = 2/4 Metric).

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 25, 2011 10:49 AM

To summarize: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:50 AM

The cheery quality of Ford's voice was beginning to grate on the barman's ears. It sounded like someone relentlessly playing the kazoo during one of the more sombre passages of a War Requiem.

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat Julien at May 25, 2011 10:55 AM

I'd guess not, due to the format differences between countries (4/2 American = 2/4 Metric).

Dammit! My archnemesis the metric system, which is not entirely unlike our own.

Posted by: branded at May 25, 2011 11:02 AM

I believe you mean almost, but not quite, entirely unlike our own.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 11:07 AM

Listen, three eyes, don't try to outweird me. I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis.

(Paraphrased because I'm on my Blackberry awaiting a stupid hearing at the Duval County Courthouse)

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at May 25, 2011 11:08 AM

Dammit! My archnemesis the metric system, which is not entirely unlike our own.
Posted by: branded at May 25, 2011 11:02 AM

I believe you mean almost, but not quite, entirely unlike our own.
Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 11:07 AM


"Like"

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 25, 2011 11:13 AM

I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

Posted by: Scarecrow Julien at May 25, 2011 11:17 AM

Ok, not to be pedantic - who am I kidding? Being pedantic as hell - but shouldn't a "Seriously Random List" contain an actual list?

Posted by: NateS1973 at May 25, 2011 11:19 AM

OH god, I have nothing else to say, I just wanted to be comment 42.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 25, 2011 11:23 AM

Well now I'm not so sad anymore. Thanks for all the fish Pajibans!

Posted by: JenVegas at May 25, 2011 11:25 AM

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Posted by: CatTDragon at May 25, 2011 11:32 AM

I wasn't convinced of the awesomeness of towels until I saw those pictures. Now I'm on board.

Posted by: Slash at May 25, 2011 11:37 AM

Towel day good.

Posted by: Cindy at May 25, 2011 11:40 AM

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Towel Day, infinitely so.

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 25, 2011 11:55 AM

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a great many people very angry, and been widely regarded as a bad move."

Happy Towel Day, everyone. Chinanto/mnigs on me, it's the least I can offer my fellow Ape-Descendants.

Posted by: Wintermute at May 25, 2011 12:13 PM

Happy Towel Day all!
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster's are on me!

Posted by: China Cat at May 25, 2011 12:41 PM

I thought this was gonna be a day about getting high. Disappointed again.

Posted by: Dave at May 25, 2011 1:18 PM

Hugh Jackman looks like he should be shaking his hip and singing "Faith" behind a huge pair of aviators.

Posted by: PissBoy at May 25, 2011 1:25 PM

The bowl of petunias only thought "not again..."

Posted by: Ian at May 25, 2011 1:28 PM

A monstrous grisly light poured in on them... a light that would have disfigured hell.

Posted by: Scarecrow Julien at May 25, 2011 2:02 PM

Ford," he said, "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

"But that's not the point!" raged Ford "The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!"

Posted by: faintingviolet at May 25, 2011 2:20 PM

"The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster's effect has been compared to having your head bashed in by a slice of lemon ... wrapped around a large gold brick."

"Life. Don't talk to me about life."

"We're going to get lynched, aren't we?"

Posted by: The Wanderer #42 at May 25, 2011 2:23 PM

Or you can take the towel, wet it, twist it into a "rat tail" and snap it into the faces of the shitheads responsible for the movie adaptation of this book.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 25, 2011 2:24 PM

If only this day were tomorrow...

"It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 2:25 PM

Yay for the shout out, but why did you use a graphic from the excretorily bad movie!!!???

Posted by: OlorinGrayhame at May 25, 2011 3:05 PM

I did not know that, but I happen to be sporting a towel dress

Posted by: jasper at May 25, 2011 5:03 PM

In the immortal words of Towelie: "You're a towel!"

Posted by: baboocole at May 25, 2011 5:35 PM

@baboocole I was waiting for some Towelie love.

I've been wondering around for the past couple of weeks. You know helping people out with towel safety and proper towel use. It's important.

Posted by: jilljac at May 25, 2011 5:59 PM

("wondering" v. "wandering" is fault of the source.)

Posted by: jilljac at May 25, 2011 6:00 PM