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Cast Your Vote For America's Most Likable Gay Person

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | June 13, 2012 | Comments ()


"You're an actor/singer/dancer. You're the biggest single threat of all: You're a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay not seem threatening. ... It's almost as if your happiness does not take my happiness away. Do you admit that you're a likeable gay person?"

And while Harris readily copped to the crime of being both likable and gay, I'd argue he's not the only threat this nation faces. That's right, there's at least two of 'em. (Unless ... they're not the same person ... right?)

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But the question is: Who poses the greatest threat? Between beloved talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and the downright adorable network sitcom star Harris, which gay entertainer is the most capable of destroying our nation's long-cherished belief that it's not OK to be gay? We'll put it to you to decide, gentle readers. But first ... the evidence.

Most Willing To Make An Ass Of Themselves While Hosting An Awards Show
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  • Advantage: Harris
  • Cuddliest While Wearing PJs
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres (With the Gosling assist.)
  • Best Celebrity Endorsement


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  • Advantage: DeGeneres (Because that damn Comcast ad was obnoxiously everywhere.)
  • Looks Best In The Bath
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  • Advantage: Harris
  • Committed To Charity Work
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  • Advantage: Tie
  • Least Cringe-Worthy Mullet
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  • Advantage: Harris
  • Most Patriotic
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Most Committed To Physical Fitness
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres (By, like, a lot.)
  • Looks Better With Their Clothes Off
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  • Advantage: Harris
  • Plays Well With Muppets
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Best Guest Spot On "The Simpsons"
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  • Advantage: Harris
  • Better Halloween Costume
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  • Advantage: Harris (Real babies always trump fake babies.)
  • Best Dance Moves
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    Advantage: Tie

    Most Educated
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    Advantage: Harris (DeGeneres didn't graduate college and, as you know, Harris has both an MD and a PhD ... in horribleness.)

    Greatest Contribution To Animated Film
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Sweetest Singing Voice



  • Advantage: Harris (Not even the Groban assist can help DeGeneres here.)
  • Biggest Threat To The Sanctity Of Marriage
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  • Advantage: DeGeneres (Harris and his partner are adorable but, as yet, not married. DeGeneres, on the other hand, is the envy of every gay lady, straight male and bi-curious other.)
  • Now that all the evidence is in, it's time to cast your vote.


    Joanna Robinson is tempted to start a write-in campaign for both George Takei and Matt Bomer's abs.



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