Cast Your Vote For America's Most Likable Gay Person
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Cast Your Vote For America's Most Likable Gay Person

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | June 13, 2012 | Comments ()


Last week when Stephen Colbert had Neil Patrick Harris on his show he confessed to feeling threatened. He told Harris:

"You're an actor/singer/dancer. You're the biggest single threat of all: You're a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay not seem threatening. ... It's almost as if your happiness does not take my happiness away. Do you admit that you're a likeable gay person?"

And while Harris readily copped to the crime of being both likable and gay, I'd argue he's not the only threat this nation faces. That's right, there's at least two of 'em. (Unless ... they're not the same person ... right?)


But the question is: Who poses the greatest threat? Between beloved talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and the downright adorable network sitcom star Harris, which gay entertainer is the most capable of destroying our nation's long-cherished belief that it's not OK to be gay? We'll put it to you to decide, gentle readers. But first ... the evidence.

Most Willing To Make An Ass Of Themselves While Hosting An Awards Show

  • Advantage: Harris
  • Cuddliest While Wearing PJs

  • Advantage: DeGeneres (With the Gosling assist.)
  • Best Celebrity Endorsement


  • Advantage: DeGeneres (Because that damn Comcast ad was obnoxiously everywhere.)
  • Looks Best In The Bath

  • Advantage: Harris
  • Committed To Charity Work

  • Advantage: Tie
  • Least Cringe-Worthy Mullet

  • Advantage: Harris
  • Most Patriotic

  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Most Committed To Physical Fitness

  • Advantage: DeGeneres (By, like, a lot.)
  • Looks Better With Their Clothes Off

  • Advantage: Harris
  • Plays Well With Muppets

  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Best Guest Spot On "The Simpsons"

  • Advantage: Harris
  • Better Halloween Costume

  • Advantage: Harris (Real babies always trump fake babies.)
  • Best Dance Moves
    Advantage: Tie

    Most Educated
    Advantage: Harris (DeGeneres didn't graduate college and, as you know, Harris has both an MD and a PhD ... in horribleness.)

    Greatest Contribution To Animated Film

  • Advantage: DeGeneres
  • Sweetest Singing Voice

  • Advantage: Harris (Not even the Groban assist can help DeGeneres here.)
  • Biggest Threat To The Sanctity Of Marriage

  • Advantage: DeGeneres (Harris and his partner are adorable but, as yet, not married. DeGeneres, on the other hand, is the envy of every gay lady, straight male and bi-curious other.)
  • Now that all the evidence is in, it's time to cast your vote.

    Joanna Robinson is tempted to start a write-in campaign for both George Takei and Matt Bomer's abs.

    The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors: Ending "Game of Thrones" | Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne

    Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

    • Rawrfan

      Neil Patrick Harris. Ellen is a very close second in my heart. However, their sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.

    • This is the question that broke the universe. Can't I just love them both?

    • Adrien

      Ellen deGenerous gets my vote.

    • Uh ... color me 'racist' but I thought Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen Degeneris WERE the same person. No?

    • dizzylucy

      Love them both equally, but had to vote for Ellen for 2 reasons:
      a) she is losing by a few points and this should be as equal as possible
      b) that shot of NPH and Elmo in the blond wigs is going to haunt my dreams.

    • randomhookup

      If only they could get married and make cute little gay babies.

    • Thank you for bringing that adorable baby Smee back ot the forefront of my brain. And the bathtub picture. Egads.
      Ellen wins my heart for her reaction to Fifty Shades of Grey:
      "What is wrong with you heterosexuals?!?"

    • Harris is my hero more ways than I can count, but I have to vote Ellen because her wife is hot.

    • Sandrine

      How are the results 49% and 50%!? OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

    • Ender

      All of your comments are very confusing to those of us who can't see a poll anywhere. I assume that you aren't all going through all the comments and counting up the votes in each comment!

    • PerpetualIntern

      There should be a tie button. I can't handle the pressure.

    • Pookie

      Its a thin between being the most likeable gay person and being the most detestable gay person.

    • BiblioGlow

      I thought the most detestable gay person was Glenn Beck?

    • SaBrina

      Sylar's eyebrows.

    • This made me very, very happy.

    • Huh. When I voted at work for NPH, Degeneres was ahead. Now, when I vote at home for Degeneres, NPH is ahead. Good to know my double voting won't skew the results.

    • betsy

      it's not fair to choose amongst the unchoosiest. neither can do wrong. damn your forced polls!

    • DarthCorleone

      I voted for Neil Patrick Harris on my own behalf and on behalf of Bad Horse.

    • I_Sell_Books

      I think that Matt Bomer's abs should totally be the subject of your next post.

    • Becca Eberman

      I vote NPH because of the simple fact that he owns a two headed cow fetus, which he keeps in his garage. (seriously, listen to his interview on the Nerdist podcast, it's hilarious!)

    • And runs the Magic Castle

    • BiblioGlow

      Yeah, I remember when Ellen came out, too. It was huge, and she caught so much hate for it. I remember them running clips of her tv show on the news talking about it. And then she disappeared for years, it seemed, until Finding Nemo. She probably wasn't the first famous person to ever come out, but she was the first person I remember, and it was so brave, so as delightful as NPH is, she gets my vote.

    • competitivenonfiction

      This was a real turning point for me getting over my own homophobia. Ellen made me a better person and for that I will always be loyal.

    • POINGjam

      I was about ten years old when Ellen Degeneres came out. She made up my mind that being homophobic sucks simply because I liked her, so I'm voting for her.

    • Guest

      That's power, yo.

    • space_oddity

      In the contributions to animation category, I'd say NPH's voice work for things like Spiderman and Nightwing (in the newish Batman cartoon) faaaar outweigh the Smurfs dreck. My god. My 3 year olds watched that last week and I wanted to burn their eyes out to save them... They thought the movie was hilarious.

    • superasente

      Y'know, I already voted for Doogie, but if I hadn't this would have totally made me regret my decision.

    • Ender

      It's lucky you don't consider him a "whore" then otherwise your less pleasant personality would have to come out.

      Or is it only women you think that about?

    • jmd

      I must disagree on the Muppet score - NPH as the shoe fairy must have the advantage-

    • llp

      I was aghast that the Shoe Fairy wasn't the Muppet option. Plus, he was so thrilled when he got to do that bit. NPH is Muppetastic.

    • Sassafrass Green

      Can we agree that my people, the gays, ascend to the higher plane of existence together, we'll likely find out that NPH and Ellen are secretly deities that arrange the cosmos?

      I think we can.

    • Muhnah_Muhnah

      I voted Ellen, but only because it's part of my cunning plan to ingratiate myself with her and then steal her wife. You may be wondering how on earth voting for her here will help me achieve that, and you would be right. It's not a perfect plan, but it's all I've got.

    • Jerce

      *holds pistol to temple*

      Certain photos of NPH make me sad that he is gay...

    • AngelenoEwok

      Picking who to vote for has EASILY been the most difficult part of my week so far.

    • Ender

      With that said AngelenoEwok returns to work as the Senior Quantum Physicist and advanced Terrorism Forecaster at the Complex Projections centre of the Difficult Questions Inc. That's how hard this is!

    • JenVegas

      Can I vote them to become an unstoppable duo of gay likability? The Unambiguously Gay Duo as it were?

    • badkittyuno

      Tough choice, but NPH wins for that fantastic Halloween ensemble. Hubby and I need to produce child #2 so we can totally rip that off.

    • Drake

      I had to go with NPH, because I'd like to scrog his ears off.

    • dahlia6

      I refuse to pick. In my reality, there is room enough for both of them to destroy the long-held heteronormative belief in man/woman marriage.

    • Green Lantern's nearly a split decision! That's interesting.

      (team nph, yo)

    • David Sorenson

      George Takei wins hands down. Not even close. If you don't believe me, look up the video of him doing his happy dance.

    • Morgan_LaFai

      You are so right. How had I not seen that before? Utter fabulousness.

    • dizzylucy

      That may be the best thing I saw all week. Thank you.

    • Guest

      Agreed--Takei is a dangerous contender for this title. I'd still give it to Ellen for my reason stated above, but by a hair. Damn, he's likeable!

    • space_oddity

      Case closed.

    • emmelemm

      Damn! You have a point!

    • Cree83

      Harris may have the clothes off advantage, but look at Ellen's face! Lady is 54 years old!!!! I had no idea until recently that there was a 15 year age difference between her and Portia. She's not in Stacy Dash territory, but Ellen sure is aging well.

    • Orleanas

      I was surprised myself. That woman looks better today than she did years ago.Oh how far she's come. I remember when she came out. She was many homophobe's enemy. I remember this dude referring to her as Ellen Degenerate. I'm so proud of her for how far she's come...or is that how far we've come that she is now so beloved. I think it's all because she seems so genuine.

      btw: I didn't vote. I couldn't. I think NPH is hot and cerebral/witty; Ellen is just nerdily cool / chill. I like them both.

    • Miss Laaw-yuhr

      54?! Good grief! Her gayness not only destroys heteronormative christian marriages, it also gives her fabulous skin. Sign me up!

    • John W

      Ellen is funnier. I vote for her.

    • That Halloween picture of NPH and his babies makes my cold, black heart grow three sizes.

    • Captain_Tuttle

      They're both lovely. And Geepie comes in a very close third.

    • Jezzer

      I vote Ellen. My tiebreaker scenario was, "Who would it most upset me to see crying?" Can you imagine Ellen sad and crying? There would be mass puppy suicides.

    • Damn good tiebreaker. I'm remembering that one. Upvote.

    • chanohack

      There are a few "Ellen sad and crying" videos out there (usually regarding the bullying or suicide of gay kids), and you're right, they are goddamn heartbreaking.

    • lowercase_ryan

      dude, you weren't kidding, you really are using logic and reasoning today. Upvote

    • branded_redux

      Most Joy Bordering on Complete Nervous Breakdown Provided via a Sloth Story:
      Advantage Degeneres.

    • BobbFrapples

      So hard to choose... Oh! And completly unrelated: does anyone know what handle Mrs.Julien is using now?

    • pajiba

      Mrs. Julien cannot comment at work because Disqus is firewalled. But she can see the comments. And whenever her name is mentioned, she jumps inside of her computer monitor and screams in the vain hope that someone can hear her. You, sir, have just given her an embolism. (HI Mrs. J!)

    • competitivenonfiction

      This makes me hope that if during work hours, I splash some water on my computer screen (very carefully), turn around 3 times and say "Mrs. Julien, Mrs. Julien, Mrs. Julien" she'll appear. It'll be more like Beatlejuice than Bloody Mary thing, and she'll make my government job seem zany and fun.

    • Mrs. Julien

      Awww, YOU GUYS! I only just saw this now.

    • BobbFrapples

      Aw! Pajiba without Mrs. J is like Tabasco sauce with no Bloody Mary.

    • emmelemm

      I know, right? It's really a tragedy of epic proportions.

    • Ender

      p.s. Mrs J - try firefox if you can, it beat the anti-disquis on my end.

    • Ender

      yep, without her comments this place is much worse

    • Someone needs to explain Ellen's Halloween costume, please.

    • foolsage

      She dressed as Snooki's hair... bump... thing. Thus the tiny orange doll below her.

    • Jezzer

      I think she's supposed to be Snooki. The Cabbage Patch doll is the body, and she's the hair.

    • Well, that makes more sense than "Cousin It gives birth" which is what I was getting. Thanks.

    • jamie pants

      I couldn't decide, so I cheated and voted for the one with the least votes. That picture of Ellen and Portia at their wedding makes me melt

    • Guest

      NPH is the bee's knees, but Ellen makes me transcend my hatred of talk shows and talk-show hosts--the whole wretched cheesy formula, daytime AND late-night--so I have to give it to her. And her great taste in wives.

    • KatSings

      THIS IS LIKE SOPHIE'S CHOICE! Gay Sophie's Choice. It's the most Fabulous Choice there is.

    • emmelemm

      That's exactly what it's like!

    • lowercase_ryan

      oh you meant homosexual....shit

    • The record will show that I am the most likeable gay person of EVER, dammit.

    • lowercase_ryan

      My write in vote C) Common Sense

    • Threenineteen

      I didn't know Common's last name was Sense.

    • lowercase_ryan

      see the Rickles post

    • Frank

      Toughie. I would like to hang out with NPH more, but I think Ellen may be the most likeable person in the world.

    • Jennifer Hofstetter

      Ummmm. Can I just pick both? Thanks.

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