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Can You Match the Plot Description to the Jason Statham Movie? (The Answer is 'No')

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | August 3, 2011 | Comments ()

See what I mean? Same song, slightly different lyrics. But no one watches Statham for the lyrics; we're in it for the power chords.

To demonstrate my point, I give you the title of 13 Jason Statham movie titles. Below, I provide the brief plot descriptions. How many plots can you match to the titles? (Note: In this game, as in life, there is no right answer. Only gaping plot holes).

List of movies

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; The Italian Job; The Transporter; The Transporter 2; Crank; Crank: High Voltage; War; Death Race; The Mechanic; Killer Elite; Blitz; Revolver and The Expendables

Plot Descriptions

A. An Ex-Special Forces (Jason Statham) operator lives what seems to be a quiet life along the French Mediterranean, hiring himself out as a mercenary who moves goods--human or otherwise--from one place to another. No questions asked.

B. Follows an elite hit man (Jason Statham) as he teaches his trade to an apprentice who has a connection to one of his previous victims.

C. When his mentor is taken captive, a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service (Jason Statham) is forced into action. His mission: kill three assassins dispatched by their cunning leader.

D. A gambler (Jason Statham) enters into a game with potentially deadly consequences.

E. Four men pool their money to put one in a high stakes card game, but things go wrong and they end up owing half a million pounds and having one week to come up with the cash.

F. A tough cop (Jason Statham) is dispatched to take down a serial killer who has been targeting police officers.

G. A professional assassin (Jason Statham) faces a mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

H. A team of mercenaries is given the assignment to take out a corrupt military leader and a rogue CIA operative on a Latin American island.

I. An FBI Agent (Jason Statham) seeks vengeance on a mysterious assassin known who murdered his partner.

J. A driver (Jason Statham) who specializes moving goods of all kinds, surfaces again this time in Miami, Florida when he's implicated in the kidnapping of the young son of a powerful USA official.

K. An ex-con (Jason Statham) is forced by the warden of a notorious prison to compete in a car race in which inmates must brutalize and kill one another on the road to victory.

L. A professional assassin (Jason Statham) learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.

M. Thieves plan to pull off the heist of their lives by creating Los Angeles' largest ever traffic jam.

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