But Honey Pie You're Not Safe Here: Thirteen Upcoming Scary Films That'll Goose Your Bumps
film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

But Honey Pie You're Not Safe Here: Thirteen Upcoming Scary Films That'll Goose Your Bumps

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | October 4, 2012 | Comments ()


It's October, people! (How did that happen?) And it is therefore time to break out the pumpkins, comfort food and scary movies. Settle in and see what's waiting for you out there...over there! Behind you! Oh, I can't look (*covers eyes*).

1. You're Next August 23, 2013


Directed by Adam Wingard (V/H/S, A Horrible Way to Die), starring Sharni Vinson. A family reunion is interrupted by masked home invaders, but they don't know about the secret weapon: kickass girlfriend Erin (Vinson).

2. Chiméres, 2013

Directed by Olivier Beguin (Dead Bones, Employee of the Month), starring Jasna Kohoutova, Yannick Rosset and Catriona MacColl. While on vacation with his girlfriend, Alexander is hit by a car, and subsequently receives a blood transfusion that leaves him...strangely affected.

3. Lords of Salem, (Premiered at the 2012 Toronto Film Festival) 2013

Directed by Rob Zombie (Halloween [2007], House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects), starring Patricia Quinn, Maria Conchita Alonza, Clint Howard, Dee Wallace, Bruce Dern, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Meg Foster, Sheri Moon Zombie. A disc jockey is sent a mysterious record; she plays it and inadvertently summons a 300 year old coven of witches. (Hang the DJ?)

4. Warm Bodies, February 1, 2013


Directed by Jonathan Levine (50/50, The Wackness), starring John Malkovich, Dave Franco, Teresa Palmer, Nicholas Hoult, Analeigh Tipton and Rob Coddry. Based on the novel by Isaac Marion. A zombie eats a boy's brains, absorbs his memories, and falls for the dead guy's still human girlfriend.

5. Therese Raquin, December 28, 2012


Directed by Charlie Stratton ("Faux Baby, Everwood"), starring Jessica (mothereffing) Lange, Elizabeth Olsen, Tom Felton and Oscar Isaac. Based on the 1867 novel by Émile Zola, a young woman in a loveless marriage has an affair, then she and her lover murder the husband--what else could they do? Alas, the husband comes back to haunt them into misery.

6. Mama, January 18, 2013

Directorial debut by Andres Muschietti, produced by Guillermo del Toro, starring Jessica Chastain and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. Two little girls abandoned in the woods when their mother was murdered are found alive after five years, and taken in by their uncle and his wife (who has her own creepy agenda). Mama's ghost stops by for tea...nasty hijinks ensue.

7. I, Frankenstein, September 13, 2013


Directed by Stuart Beattie (Writer: Pirates of the Carribean trilogy, Director: Tomorrow, When the War Began, starring Aaron Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski and Bill Nighy. Based on the graphic novel by Kevin Grevioux, Frankenstein's monster has a genetic "quirk" that has kept him alive all these years (to present day); he gets "caught up in a centuries old war between two immortal clans."

8. The Conjuring, January 25, 2013


Directed by James Wan (Insidious, Saw), starring Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston. Based on House Of Darkness House Of Light: The True Story, a couple's Rhode Island farmhouse is haunted; demonologists (Farmiga and Wilson) are called in to "help." Good luck with that.

9. Crawlspace, (Premiering at 2012 Sitges International Fantastic Film Festival of Catalonia), 2012

Directorial debut by Justin Dix (Writer, Make-up/Special Effects Star Wars II/III), starring Peta Sergeant, Nicholas Bell. A secret research facility in Australia comes under attack; a woman who claims she has no idea how she got inside is discovered; "something terrible" escapes. Sounds like a recipe for horror...dum dum dum!

10. Roadside, 2013

Directed by Eric England (Madison County, Hostile Encounter), starring Ace Marrero, Katie Stegeman, Jack E. Curenton, Alan Pietruszewski, Lionel D. Carson and Marshall Yates. Gunman on a desolate road traps and terrorizes a couple (of idiots?).

11. Dark Skies February 22, 2013


Directed by Scott Charles Stewart (Priest, Legion), starring Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton and Dakota Goyo. Aliens have marked a couple's son for abduction; Russell and Hamilton have to figure out how to keep the family safe.

12. Cabin Fever: Patient Zero, 2013


Directed by Kaare Andrews (The ABCs of Death, Altitude), starring Sean Astin (??), Jillian Murray, Lydia Hearst and Brando Eaton. Reboot of 2002's Cabin Fever. A cruise ship is infected with a flesh eating virus. One of the myriad reasons I shall never cruise.

13. The Bay, November 2, 2012

Directed by Barry Levinson (Wag the Dog, Sleepers, Good Morning, Vietnam; Diner), starring Kether Donohue, Kristen Connolly, Christopher Denham, Nansi Aluka and Stephen Kunken. This one is getting good reviews (with several comparisons to Jaws) after its debut at the New York Film Festival. Found footage shows a small town suffering the effects (parasites) of an ecological disaster, covered up by the government.

Bonus Keep-Your-Hopes-Up-That-This-Goes-Forward:

The Last Voyage of Demeter, Who Knows?


Directed by Neil Marshall (Centurion, The Descent, "Game of Thrones"), possibly starring Viggo Mortensen. Follows Dracula's journey from Transylvania to England on the Demeter--from the passengers' points of view. This seems to be stuck in development hell at the moment, but supposedly Ben Kingsley is attached as the ship's captain and Noomi Rapace may be playing a role.

Cindy Davis is a screamer.

Standing Next to Each Other, Doctors Whos David Tennant and Matt Smith Have Never Looked More Appropriately Alien | "Call the Midwife" Review: Thank God For Contraceptives

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Kip Hackman

    So the first one on this list sounds more awesome than scary. Because any time the home invaders get got is awesome (see: The Perfect Host). And The Last Voyage of Demeter must must happen.

  • Jezzer

    I've been looking forward to You're Next ever since I read the filmfest reviews of it last year, and I'm glad it's coming out. Sharni Vinson's character of Erin is apparently pretty kickass from the get-go and takes the fight to the killers instead of cowering for most of the movie until a final desperate confrontation, like in most horror films.

    I have no particular interest in Roadside's concept (what self-respecting horror killer uses a gun?), and I, Frankenstein sounds too much like another installment of Underworld. The Cabin Fever movies do nothing for me; their ill-advised attempts at humor make me squirm more than the gore scenes.

    Lords of Salem has what has to be one of the creepiest movie posters ever, but early reviews say it's extremely disjointed, weird for weirdness' sake, and lacks a cohesive narrative, so I'm kind of iffy on it.

  • Falstaff

    I'm only going to ax you one more time . . . does this make me look fat?

  • Strand

    So they've done the teenage vampire and werewolf thing and now... zombie? Is this a fucking joke? Is it a satire or are they playing it straight? Funny. The 'zombie' looks just like Nicholas Hoult with some joke store makeup. Whatever happened to the sloughing skin, rotting flesh, exposed bone etc? I'm not expecting maggots here, but are we supposed to believe every teenage girl's monster boyfriend looks like Edward Cullen?

  • Quatermain

    'Chimeres', 'Lords of Salem', 'I, Frankenstein' and 'Crawlspace' look like the best out of the bunch, or at least the ones I am most likely to go see, with 'Lords of Salem' taking the #1 spot.
    'You're Next', 'Mama', and 'Cabin Fever' look like they could go either way. Del Toro at least has earned the benefit of the doubt.
    'Warm Bodies' looks completely retarded, as does 'Roadside' and 'Dark Skies.'
    'Therese Raquin' strikes me as one of those concepts that works really well as a half-hour 'Tales from the Crypt' or 'Twilight Zone' episode but drags unmercifully if stretched out to two hours.
    'The Conjuring'...there are only so many ways you can remake "The Amityville Horror' and I think we've just about found all of them. It's about time Hollywood found some other theme to beat to death.
    The same goes for 'The Bay.' I've never really liked 'found footage' movies, if only because they always seem to be shot on a roller coaster. Tell you what, fellas, I'll make you a deal: I'll pretend to believe This Really Happened if you hold the camera steady for five goddamn minutes and stop trying to give me a seizure.

  • Ace Marrero

    Wow, quite an honor, thanks so much for including ROADSIDE on this list!! We can't wait for you to see it!

  • blacksred

    the bay is my worst nightmare! i watch the discovery channels monsters inside me with abject horror and disgust yet never turn it off.

  • Andrew

    Wait, is Frankenstein immortal or Frankenstein's monster. Cause those would be two completely different movies.

  • Monster.

  • Damn. And here I was hoping The Bay was a documentary about Michael Bay's effect on modern cinema.

    Also, ahh, Kerri Russell. That is all.

  • TheAggroCraig

    Remember how everybody used to say, "Oh I could write something stupid like Twilight and make millions of dollars, too"? The guy who wrote Warm Bodies is the only one who actually made it happen.

  • Once again, proof that horror movies are where pithy titles come to die - OR DO THEY‽

  • thenchonto

    The Bay trailer had me at "isopods". Honestly, I'm a sucker for mutated anything, but this... I'm incredibly excited. Those dudes don't get nearly enough play, which is a crying shame because they can get pretty frickin' huge. Let the rolypolypocalypse begin!

  • Fabius_Maximus



    Crawlspace, The Bay and of course Mama look pretty interesting.

  • Bert_McGurt

    How did they summon the coven of witches before, say, 1900? Cursed packages of orchestral sheet music?

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    You missed Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. The horror of all horrors!

  • TheOriginalMRod

    It's the most wonderful time of the year!

    And poor Draco Malfoy... his forehead is turning into an eighthead...

  • Elizabeth Gorman

    Lords of Salem looks creepily beautiful. However Mr. Zombie made a factual error. The witches were hanged in Salem and Salem Village, not burned. I trust Rob knew that but went with the Puritan style auto da fe for better visuals.

  • PDamian

    I'm up for any and all except The Conjuring. Even though I'm a dedicated horror fan, haunted house stories leave me somewhat flat. I always find myself thinking of that old Eddie Murphy routine in which he says that black folks always leave the minute they hear the ghostly voices telling them to get out, which is why you see very few African-Americans in horror films.

    "Wow, this looks like a nice place ..."
    "Get ouuuuut ..."
    "Too bad we can't stay!"

    I particularly want to see Therese Raquin. Horror and crinolines? Awesome.

  • NateMan

    On a completely unrelated note, how the flock do I get Scott Brown ads to stop playing on every Pajiba page I open?! Even after clicking them closed. It's driving me bananas.

    Scott, you seem like a pretty decent person for a politician in the GOP, and don't get me wrong - you're a damn sight better than your fellows from the 'Heartland'. But I'm still not voting for you.

  • lowercase_ryan

    looking for a trailer for warm bodies I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    spoilers? I don't even know

  • RudeMorgue

    What. The Hell. Was that?

  • lowercase_ryan

    admittedly, I have no idea.

  • Really looking forward to 'Therese Raquin,' 'Lords of Salem', and 'The Conjuring'.

  • Guest

    That Zola thing is perplexing. I'm totes up for Mama, The Conjuring, The Bay, and The Last Voyage of the Demeter. Great post--I feel all caught up.

    Unexpected: Between the Mozart and the imagery, I may actually be all over that Rob Zombie affair.

    (Dear Mr. Zombie: Please ensure that the Mozart score is actually the film's score and not just trailer marketing.)

blog comments powered by Disqus