February 10, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | February 10, 2009 |


It seems like, almost as long as movie blogs have existed, there have been fears that the John Hughes’ classic The Breakfast Club would be remade. The threat level is currently at orange — all the studios want to do it, but none of them have the balls to risk seeing their studio lots torched to the ground. But the powers that be are inching ever closer. Just last fall, JCPenney’s fired a test missile with a Breakfast Club-inspired back-to-school commercial played on a loop in movie theaters across the nation. It made me sick:

Last year, an unofficial remake also began production. Bumped is the working title of a movie about five twentysomethings who get bumped from a flight at Chicago O’Hare and get to know one another. Lizzy Weiss, who scripted Blue Crush is set to direct. Cover your hair-trigger gag reflexes, folks.

Still, there haven’t been any official confirmations that The Breakfast Club will be remade. Yet. But it’ll happen, folks. As long as Hollywood isn’t submerged into the ocean (fingers crossed!), it’ll happen. And if it has to happen, allow us to do the casting, if you please. Let us put a decent face on a terrible idea.

Here’s my Breakfast Club dream cast:

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Andrew Clark (originally played by Emilio Estevez): Jocks don’t hold the esteem they once did in high school, fortunately. Their popularity is a relic of the 80s. Now: 17-year-old dipster douchebags rule the high school hierarchy. Shia LaBeouf is perfect — he’s both a decent actor and a raging twatwaffle. And besides, can you think of anyone better?

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Brian Johnson (originally played by Anthony Michael Hall): Jonah Hill. Look: Johnson never hooks up with anyone in the end. He’s just the school dork. Michael Cera or Christopher Mintz-Plasse may be the obvious choice, but we don’t necessarily need a stuttering dork, and Hill could bring a refreshing dose of sarcasm and humor to the role.


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John Bender (originally played by Judd Nelson): Yeah, he’s 28, but that doesn’t stop him from playing a teenager on TV (Judd Nelson was 26 when he played Bender). And really: There’s only one guy around who could do the Bender role justice: Taylor Kitsch, people. He’s been playing a variation of the wounded tough guy for three years now, so why not?

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Claire Standish (originally played by Molly Ringwald): Amanda Seyfried, of course. Good actress, pretty, likable (and did the popular thing in “Veronica Mars” and Mean Girls), and a very good romantic counterpart for Kitsch.

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Allison Reynolds (originally played by Ally Sheedy): Ummm. Olivia Thirlby, obviously. She’s radiant, but she could definitely pull off the goth girl, and I could totally see her shaking dandruff out of her hair.


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Richard Vernon (originally played by Paul Gleason): Richard Jenkins. Why not? Great character actor, capable of pulling off a comedy, and he just has a high-school principal vibe about him. Plus, the Breakfast Club adverts could boast an Oscar nominee.


Now, with that said, should a Breakfast Club remake actually come to fruition in the next couple of years, here is the more obvious direction they’ll take:

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Andrew Clark (originally played by Emilio Estevez): Zac Efron.

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Brian Johnson (originally played by Anthony Michael Hall): Drake Bell.

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John Bender (originally played by Judd Nelson): Jared Padalecki.

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Claire Standish (originally played by Molly Ringwald): Blake Lively.

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Allison Reynolds (originally played by Ally Sheedy): Katy Perry.

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Richard Vernon (originally played by Paul Gleason): Fred Willard.

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Dream Casting: If They Have to Remake The Breakfast Club

A Seriously Random List LVI / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | February 10, 2009 | Comments ()



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