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Better Than Google or Jeeves, It's Ask Bekka and Jodi!

By Bekka Supp and Jodi Clager | Seriously Random Lists | January 18, 2017 | Comments ()

By Bekka Supp and Jodi Clager | Seriously Random Lists | January 18, 2017 |


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We were already on took to Facebook to allow the Common Folk to ask us, the knowledgeable Bekka and Jodi, any question that they wanted. Names have been removed to protect the derpy, but all answers are true facts.

Q: What’s a discalced carmelite?

A: A Catholic priest who needs to drink milk. Namaste.

Q: How do i no if im pergnant

A: Y u noe babby?

Q: How much bacon is too much bacon?

A: The limit does not exist. The limit does not exist!

Q: How is babby formed?

A: Science juice and like, some plaster of paris maybe?

Q: How do I get to Dollar store

A: Know your worth.

Q: What is a yoni/suzi?

A: Please don’t form babby

Q: Obamacare same as ACA?

A: ONLY IF YOU ARE A DIRTY SOCIALIST COMMUNIST LIBTARD

Q: How can I became filthy rich so I needn’t work anymore and can take my friends and family on ridiculous vacations with me?

A: Ruthlessness and idiocy. And murder. Own a dollar store.

Q: If the black box is the only thing that survives a plane crash, why don’t they make the whole plane out of the black box?

A: Because that’s not how business works, pal. Also? ALIENS.

Q: Fast weight loss tips.

A: Tapeworms, Hot Pockets, and Flowbee liposuction.

Q: Why am I nervous about going to the gym today?

A: Intuition about the winged rat posing as the front desk receptionist. DO NOT IGNORE IT.

Q: What of donuts?

A: Same as it ever was.

Q: What’s a “golden shower” and why is it trending?

A: A golden shower is when a prostitute loves a man’s money very much, and that man is a disgusting shitbag screwing over everyone, and piss is sprayed.

Q: How do I smash the patriarchy?

A: Squats. SO MANY SQUATS. And this:

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Q: I’ve been nominated for Secretary of Education. Is there a Cliff Notes version or some cheat sheets I can use for this hearing?

A: This

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Q: Does anyone understand anything that Sigur Rós sings?

A: An 8-year-old girl in Kalamazoo. No one knows why.

Q: What is an emotion?

A: It’s like a fart, but from your soul

Q: When was the last time a bear attacked a school?

A: We don’t recognize that sub-set of gay men by that name. Also, never. They love children.

Q: Hey there, Bekka & Jodi! Long time listener, first time caller. (Oh man, I’m so nervous!). So i have a question.

A lot of apocalyptic fiction/real-life predictions show a future where water is scarce, exacerbated by overpopulation. My question is, how is this possible when, if all of the above is true, there is a ready source of water staring us all in the face: other humans (70% water by body weight)?

Surely harvesting some of that overpopulation for water would kill two birds with one stone, yes?

Thanks, and keep on truckin!

A: Yes.

Q: Should I accept the baby Jesus as my lord and savior?

A: Did he bring snacks? Because no one should accept a baby as a lord and savior. Unless the baby has snacks.

Q: Where is this snack baby? I WELCOME SNACK BABY AS MY NEW LORD AND SAVIOR!

A: WELCOME, MY BROTHER. Jesus Crisps, Son of God Those Are Good.

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Q: A guy just emailed me saying that he’s a time traveler from the future sent back to stop Trump, and he needs all of my savings to buy a laser sword, Lunchables, and MD 20/20 for the mission.
Which would be the safest medium of exchange to pay him in: Bitcoin, livestock, or Troll dolls?

A: Hair. He’ll know what that means. Also, tell Hank I say ‘ello. He’ll know what that means, too

Q: Why does it always rain on me?

A: That’s not rain and you’re in Russia.


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