By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (51)
5. Flo (“Alice”)
4. Joey Tribbiani (“Friends”)
3. Blanche Devereaux (“Golden Girls”)
2. Any one of Charlie’s girlfriends (“Two and a Half Men”)
1. Kelly Bundy (“Married with Children”)
← Devil's Advocate, The Review | Passengers Review →
Posted by: mswas at May 14, 2009 3:20 PM
Does Jordan count? Cause if she does then you have fucked up mightily.
Posted by: Braski at May 14, 2009 3:20 PM
Kelly? Seriously? Kelly wasn't a floozy, she was a bimbo. Big difference. A bimbo is a floozy in training.
I would substitute Carla Tortelli.
-Ralphie
Posted by: Ralphie at May 14, 2009 3:21 PM
#1 just makes me sad.
Jenna Maroney - 30 Rock
Meredith - The Office
And if you're going to put a guy on this list, Sam Malone out-floozes Joey fucking Tribbiani every day and 10 times on Sunday.
Posted by: Kballs at May 14, 2009 3:22 PM
Wow. That photo is niptacular.
Posted by: figgy at May 14, 2009 3:27 PM
Barney Stinson!
And damn, those are some lovely breasts on Christina Applegate.
Posted by: Julie at May 14, 2009 3:29 PM
perky perky perky nips
Posted by: dammitjanet at May 14, 2009 3:30 PM
Betty White, as Sue Ann, in The Mary Tyler Moore Show. How do you forget Betty White?
Posted by: Morgagod at May 14, 2009 3:30 PM
Rikker and Kirk got a ton of tail.
Posted by: badalamenti at May 14, 2009 3:30 PM
goddam fucking amateurs...
PINKY TUSCADERO
act like you know somethin', foo.
Posted by: firedmyass at May 14, 2009 3:32 PM
Floozy in training, maybe, but certainly not in a training bra............
Posted by: slower lower at May 14, 2009 3:34 PM
Jesus Christ!
JACKEE!!!!!
Posted by: Jay at May 14, 2009 3:36 PM
Ummmm - you post a list of best lawyers with no women on it, and balance things out with a list of best floozies?
Posted by: Edith at May 14, 2009 3:38 PM
Two-and-a-Half Men? I thought this was a sitcom list!
...
Yes? No?
...
*looks at the ceiling whistling uncomfortably*
Posted by: Kballs at May 14, 2009 3:40 PM
I know that he was mentioned yesterday, but
Dan Fielding also got copious amounts of tail.
Posted by: badalamenti at May 14, 2009 3:44 PM
what definition is even being used for a floozy here?
Posted by: jim of the lower case at May 14, 2009 3:46 PM
The word floozy reminds me of the time that my Grandpa and I were in his truck. As we drove past an old lady in a housecoat checking her mail my Grandpa yells, "Put on some clothes, ya floozy!" and then laughed his ass off. This is the same man that once put on my Grandma's housecoat to check out a strange noise while they were camping. Those are some classic pictures my Grandma took, with my Grandpa striking a pose.
Anyway, good list. Yep.
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at May 14, 2009 3:53 PM
Does Karen Walker qualify for this list?
Posted by: dammitjanet at May 14, 2009 3:54 PM
Christ, if this is all it takes to post something here, then we need to lower our quality on the music side of things...
Posted by: Jez at May 14, 2009 3:59 PM
Betty White's character (Sue Ann) on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It's the reason Betty White did NOT play Blanche Devereaux on Golden Girls. She was tapped to play Blanche, but felt she'd already played that character and swapped characters with whatsherface up there.
Posted by: BWeaves at May 14, 2009 4:01 PM
I think these lists are just made to generate as many comments as possible. I don't think there's been one yet where everybody unanimously agreed it was a good list.
And I will now resume staring at that picture of Kelly Bundy.
Posted by: henchman for hire at May 14, 2009 4:01 PM
jim--
FLOOZY: a supporting character, usually a woman, whose defining personality trait is constant vibe of general bawdiness and sexual availability.
Usually shown in a Very Special Episode™ to be more playful tease than gaping whore. (see: Jenny Piccolo)
Posted by: firedmyass at May 14, 2009 4:02 PM
Why is it that women are usually only featured on these lists when they involve physical attractivness or sexuality? It's kind of sad.
Posted by: puddin' cup at May 14, 2009 4:18 PM
hmm by that definition floozies are like heights both scary and yet aluring.
why isnt there any roz from frasier?
any jordan from scrubs?
Posted by: jim of the lower case at May 14, 2009 4:20 PM
First of all, Married with Children must have had some dirt on the FCC. Is is not the first time they apparently got away with something that no other show would even attempt.
Second, the Kelly Bundy picture makes me feel really bad about the whole breast cancer thing, which in turn makes me feel like an ass, because what I'm only concerned about the pretty breasts? Jerk.
Third, how about Barney? Can he be considered a Floozy?
Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 14, 2009 4:38 PM
Just jumped in to cosign on Betty White as Sue Ann.
And what about Naomi from Mama's Family?
Posted by: Courtie at May 14, 2009 4:40 PM
*Beaten to Pinky. Damn. Now I have to think some more ...*
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 14, 2009 4:43 PM
It's a toss up for me from Laverne and Shirley....Rosie Greenbaum vs. Rhonda Lee.
Though technically, Rosie was a bimbo and Rhonda was a floozy, they would both TOTALLY vo-di-oh-do-do with any guy.
Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 14, 2009 5:07 PM
Mona from Who's the Boss?, y'all! I just finished Still Life with Woodpecker--I've got redheads on the brain!
Posted by: amber at May 14, 2009 5:08 PM
Cordelia Chase
Annie Spadaro
Barney Stinson
Kendall Casablancas
Joan Holloway
Callisto
Joy Turner
Jessica Rabbit
Jackee'
Janice Litman-Garelnick
Posted by: John W at May 14, 2009 5:10 PM
Cordelia Chase, John? Under what definition of "floozy"? She was hot, yes, and her character started out as pretty vapid, but there was never the requisite "air of availability"...
Posted by: Edith at May 14, 2009 5:13 PM
Man, you know Kimmie Gibbler went straight-up harlot when she hit 18. Which makes me sad because it was probably due to all the molestation that was clearly occurring.
Posted by: firedmyass at May 14, 2009 5:38 PM
Edith,
Re: Cordelia, I have it on good authority from a certain blond who hails from Sunnydale and has a penchant for pointy wooden sticks. That's all I'm allowed to say.
Posted by: John W at May 14, 2009 5:49 PM
Umm, shame for putting some random hobag from Charlie Sheen's show ahead of Blanche Hollingsworth Deveraux!!!!!! Also, I second the motion of the Mona from "Who's the Boss?" And I nominate Jackee Harry as Sondra from "227". Straight up floozy.
Posted by: Luka at May 14, 2009 5:51 PM
If you look real close, you can see Christina Applegate's nipples.
Posted by: Borg at May 14, 2009 5:58 PM
One the great things about DR's best of lists is that they weren't just some near arbitrary countdown. He thought about it and made a set of rules for the list, ones that sometimes discounted obvious shoo-ins, but that were ultimately satifying for not sounding douchey. Perhaps a little unlike this post. But ferreals, can we be list crazy without being dumb about it?
Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 14, 2009 6:26 PM
Edie in Absolutely Fabulous and Dorien in Birds of a feather... just to bring in crappy British sitcoms.
Posted by: jim of the lower case at May 14, 2009 6:45 PM
bart's teacher, ms. crabapple
inara from firefly
edie from desperate housewives
cartman's mom
patsy stone
Posted by: gp at May 14, 2009 6:47 PM
Mmmm. Kimmy Gibler.
No, seriously, I gotta go with Mona from "Who's the Boss." Plus, Cordelia may not have been a floozy per se, but she didn't do herself any favors with, upon seeing a hot guy, "Hello, salty goodness..."
Posted by: Landon at May 14, 2009 8:08 PM
Cordelia was both a bitca, and a tease - she certainly traded on her attractiveness - but "floozy" just isn't the word for her, no matter what Buffy says (I believe her exact words were "Vapid Whore!")....
Posted by: Edith at May 14, 2009 8:25 PM
Hawkeye Pierce
Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 14, 2009 9:12 PM
jim Eddie in AbFab was hardly a floozy. She was sexually repressed, and hardly ever even dated men. She didn't even give off vibes, her vibes were more along the lines of "don't touch me." She was a narcissistic, selfish, manipulating, horrible person, but not a floozy.
Now PATSY was a floozy. Totally. Even a self-admitted sex addict.
Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 14, 2009 11:07 PM
Don't forget about Maryanne from Cybill.
Posted by: spazmodeas at May 15, 2009 1:36 AM
Yeah I'd have to agree with Eric Cartman's Mothet as gp said...
She does get around that Woman.
Posted by: RonnyK at May 15, 2009 6:38 AM
Joey is not a floozy. His defining quality is his dumbassedness. I know he's the "How you doin?" guy, but I still remember him for his constant hunger and extreme stupidity more so.
And why isn't Charlie Sheen['s character] from Two and a Half Men considered a floozy? I've never seen an episode but do we really need to bypass him for his dates for a floozy list?
Just lame.
Posted by: kayla at May 15, 2009 11:06 AM
Jackee from 227 wins this shit hands-down. It's not even a contest.
Posted by: samantha t at May 15, 2009 11:49 AM
Just Jack?
Roz Doyle is my personal favorite, because she was smart enough to know she was making dumbass dating mistakes, horny enough to enjoy the mistakes thoroughly, down-to-earth enough enough to admit to the mistakes, and strong enough to get it together and move on... to the next mistake.
Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at May 15, 2009 11:53 AM
Roz is a brilliant choice. I also like Karen Walker in this category. And Calamity Jane is a first-ballot Hall of Famer.
Posted by: Spender at May 16, 2009 9:27 PM
jim of the lower case, you're thinking of Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, not Eddie. The one, the only, the walking sperm bank.
"He was just a windscreen washer I picked up at the traffic lights. Buns so tight he was bouncing off the walls."
Posted by: Whiny Dancer at May 17, 2009 6:03 AM
The landlady in 3rd Rock from the Sun? The ACTUAL floozy in My Name is Earl? The blonde from Scrubs?
Posted by: denial at May 18, 2009 5:38 AM
The character Karen Walker on Will and Grace.
Posted by: allheavens at June 22, 2009 3:49 PM
Did you create this list just so you could post that picture of Kelly Bundy?