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Because There's Murder by the Roadside in a Sore Afraid New World: Five Reasons This Film (Yes, You Have to Click Through) Will Kick A**

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (20)



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You know how sometimes you click on a link to a story you thought you were interested in, get past the jump, realize what the thing is actually about and without finishing, follow your little internet cookies back from whence you came? Don’t do that. Go all the way. I swear you’ll find something to like about this little news tidbit.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering just how many adaptations of J. M. Barrie’s Peter Pan you can stand, or maybe you think you never want to hear anything from that freaky little man-child again? Wait! Before you slam down that back button click, hold on just one more second. Because this time, Pan isn’t running around in a ridiculous green leotard, with his boys’ club and a bitchy fairy trailing behind. This time, he’s a modern day serial killer with a couple of the hottest cops this side of Gotham City and Winterfell chasing him down. And hallelujah, thank the Lordtopus, neither Tim Burton nor Johnny Depp has gotten within 300 yards of this thing. So read on and see why Ben Hibon’s Pan is going to kick ass.

5. Director Ben Hibon got the Pan gig after the great work he did on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1; he directed The Tale of the Three Brothers, as well as the acclaimed animated short, Codehunters and animations for A.D. and Tokyo Zombie.


4. The script, by Benjamin Magid, puts a dark twist on the classic tale: Set in modern day U.S.A., “troubled” former detective, Captain Hook obsesses over a Pan, a childlike kidnapper/killer who has a knack for luring in trusting victims.


3. Why, helloooooo there Captain Hook (Aaron Eckhart). Perhaps I can assist you in feeling less troubled?

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2. What’s that Smee (Sean Bean)? You, too are a cop (Hook’s buddy) in need of assistance?

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1. And lastly—but never, ever even close to least—this glorious man has just joined the Pan cast. Academy Award nominated, Golden Globe, Bafta and Cannes Best Actor winner, Terence Stamp (The Limey, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Superman [1978], Superman II, [1980], Billy Budd) has signed on for a secret role. Heck, it doesn’t matter what the part is, the film has automatically been taken to another level by his mere presence.

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Come on now, admit it. Something up there caught your eye.

Pan will also star AnnaSophia Robb (Soul Surfer, Bridge to Terabithia, Charlie and the Chocoate Factory [2005]) as Wendy, a girl who escaped Pan and tries to help the police. The film is set for a 2012 release.

Cindy Davis will never grow up.









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Comments

Oh alright. You win. Consider me intrigued. I never trusted Pan.

Posted by: Joker at November 3, 2011 3:03 PM

I said it after my most recent viewing of the play - when you get right down to it, Peter Pan is basically the story of a serial child kidnapper who's been stalking the Darling family for generations.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at November 3, 2011 3:07 PM

Duran Duran quote for the win.

My morning has been missing some 80s, and lo, there it is.

I have never had the slightest interest in Peter Pan, as evidenced by my asking who Smee was yesterday, but if you throw in Aaron Eckhart and go full dark, I'll be powerless to resist.

Posted by: MM at November 3, 2011 3:10 PM

PLEASE tell me that Sean Bean's Smee makes it through the movie alive? I love the man and I know he brings greatness to his death scenes, but now how about letting one of his characters make it alive to the last scene?

I've read JM Barries book and seen s-loads of "based on the book by . . . ." movies but don't remember Smee dying, right?

Posted by: NeoCleo at November 3, 2011 3:16 PM

I don't know. Must everything be given a dark twist? I would prefer it if, like Pan himself, somethings were left innocent and untouched by adult troubles. There is considerable talent involved, though, so it might be decent.

Posted by: Freller at November 3, 2011 3:17 PM

Didn't they try and fail this with Neverland?

Posted by: googergieger at November 3, 2011 3:26 PM

So who is going to be Tinkerbell?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at November 3, 2011 3:29 PM

I'm hoping she can be avoided, Deist.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2011 3:49 PM

Godzilla will play the role of the crocodile.

Posted by: arrrghzi at November 3, 2011 3:50 PM

Something tells me that turning Tinker Bell "dark and gritty" means she will be a prostitute. And a man. Or, a she-male. Whatever the PC term is nowadays.

Anyway, I'll watch the heck out of this. And, if I had to guess, I'd say Stamp is playing Pan.

Posted by: RobP at November 3, 2011 3:53 PM

He shoulda been Magneto. Eleven years later and I'm still bitter, dammit!

Movie sounds awesome though, will watch for sure!

Posted by: MurderBot at November 3, 2011 3:59 PM

If Sean Bean plays Hook's right hand man, then he um, gets eaten by a crocodile, right?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 3, 2011 4:13 PM

Nah. Smee hasn't even got the chance of a snowball in hell of staying alive.

Posted by: FabMax at November 3, 2011 4:38 PM

Sounds pretty awesome. At the very least, Aaron Eckhart has great hair. It looks so great, sometimes it's kind of distracting.

Posted by: Slash at November 3, 2011 4:39 PM

Man I can just see two grannies wandering into this "Peter Pan" movie and walking out PISSED!

Posted by: logan at November 3, 2011 7:12 PM

Totally interested. Hot damn...

Posted by: Candee at November 3, 2011 10:04 PM

Hook's right hand man
---
I see what you did there.

Posted by: , at November 4, 2011 12:45 AM

I swear to whatever god you want me to swear to, I wrote this exact story 3 years ago for a "creative endeavor" psych class. It is weirding me right the fuck out.

Posted by: GRoooooo at November 4, 2011 3:31 AM

I bet Tinkerbell will be a stripper with connections to the underworld that they use as an informant. No amount of clapping will save her.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 4, 2011 11:59 AM

You're so innocent Mrs. J! You dont clap for strippers you throw dollar bills.

Posted by: logan at November 4, 2011 12:40 PM