Because It Can't All Be Cynicism And Snark: The Most Goddamn Adorable Couples In Hollywood History

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (54)

Hollywood is teeming with photogenic people. And sometimes — sometimes — those people fall in love. Or stumble into lust. Or trip over themselves with a mutual desire to advance their career and increase their visibility. But that’s the cynicism talking. This post ain’t about that. It’s about goddamn adorable couples. Not glamorous couples. Angie and Brad may be chic but cute they are not. Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner were all kinds of groovy, but I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Wagner and Christopher Walken killed Wood on a boat one moonlight night in the ’80s. So, you know, disqualification on account of murder.

Whoa whoa whoa. How did murder get in here? This was supposed to be a cuddly post. Okay, ahem, not every single couple on this list lasted forever. But what they had/have was/is genuine … I, uh, I think.

Clark Gable and Carole Lombard

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick

Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn

Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman

Bogey and Bacall
Humphrey-Bogart-and-Lauren-Bacall-humphrey-bogart-15980049-400-309.jpg

Bogey and Bacall and Marilyn’s Rack

Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger (I know this is premature, but I love me some happy Pacey. If these two ever break up I’m going to kick ALL the cans.)

Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy

Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks

Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

What’s the point? WHAT’S THE POINT? The point is you people are too damn crotchety sometimes. Let the love light shine. Swim around in the adorableness until your fingers get all prune-y. And if you need even more, check out this collection of Woodward and Newman photos. Dear lord, they out-cute baby pandas. (Snippet and Ink)

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If I loved this list any harder it would need hip replacement surgery.

Posted by: LaRhue at September 28, 2011 12:46 AM

Jack Woltz and Khartoum's head.

Posted by: Gozerian at September 28, 2011 12:54 AM

Peter Krause and Lauren Graham!

I feel that one's real solidly cute and wonderful. I don't remember them together or anything but I feel like Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger should have been a good couple, when they were.

Posted by: Me at September 28, 2011 1:06 AM

http://smallscreenscoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/alyson-hannigan-halloween.jpg

No explanation needed on this one.

Posted by: Caillan at September 28, 2011 2:50 AM

Caillan, that picture just won everything. Intense, intense love for that adorable couple.

Posted by: Mark! at September 28, 2011 3:46 AM

can Rowles just hand over all list making to you

Posted by: sal at September 28, 2011 4:15 AM

R.I.P., Joshua Jackson.

Bogey and Bacall are my favorite couple ever. I think Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe come in second*.

* = without actually putting thought into the multiple couplings Hollywood has hosted in the past.

Posted by: duckandcover at September 28, 2011 4:31 AM

Adorable. Does my stony heart some good to see some of this every once in a while.

That pic of Gable and Lombard eating watermelon just about killed me.

Posted by: Jelinas at September 28, 2011 5:03 AM

Why no gay ones, Joanna? Oh yeah, I remember why. THERE ARE NONE IN HOLLYWOOD. This doesn't need to change at all.

Posted by: Caspar at September 28, 2011 6:55 AM

Also, James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff! They are seriously adorbs (although perhaps she doesn't qualify as Hollywood?).

Posted by: Caspar at September 28, 2011 7:17 AM

Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend. Even though I'm seriously jealous of her for snagging him.

Posted by: Linda at September 28, 2011 7:49 AM

Did anyone else see that RIDICULOUS article in Vanity Fair that posited that Tracy and Hepburn were mutual beards to protect their respective gayness? Because Spencer Tracy's wife and children were insufficiently beardy, of course.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 28, 2011 8:26 AM

Caspar, um, NPH and his fabulous husband and their tiny adorable twins fill me with joy.

Also, how is there no love for one of my favorites, William H Macy and Felicity Huffman? They make me happy.

Posted by: KatSings at September 28, 2011 8:40 AM

You think THAT'S a cute Alyson Hannigan's Halloween picture? Well, folks, I give you this: http://bit.ly/o2xyH6

Posted by: Holly at September 28, 2011 8:55 AM

Tracy/Hepburn FTW. I love them so very much.

Posted by: Samantha at September 28, 2011 9:03 AM

That Pickford/Fairbanks picture makes me feel warm inside.

We can probably add "Simon Tam" and his boyfriend to the gay list, even though I've never seen the boyfriend, and not jealous at all. No, really. I'm totally not jealous . . .

Posted by: Rowen at September 28, 2011 9:11 AM

I love this list. My suggested addition would be Ellen and Portia de Rossi. Those two are the cutest thing since... something significantly cuter than sliced bread.

Posted by: Artemis at September 28, 2011 9:12 AM

Love Tom and Rita. I've always felt that they were one of the few legit married couples in Hollywood. By legit I mean no beards, no business, no publicity, just actual love. If they ever split up the world is doomed.

Posted by: kirbyjay at September 28, 2011 9:46 AM

Joanne Woodward in that top pic looks like Anna Draper!

Also, a favorite pair of mine was always Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft. Boy did that guy marry above his station.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at September 28, 2011 9:55 AM

This list is an epic fail without Tom and Katie or Justin and Selena.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 28, 2011 10:08 AM

Day 1 of PaddyDog's attempt at Internet Botox to come across younger than she really is.

How am I doing?

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 28, 2011 10:09 AM

Yes. It can't all be cynicism and snark. Thanks.

Posted by: Jerry Kenney at September 28, 2011 10:11 AM

Gene Wilder and Gilda Radnor were adorable.

Posted by: Siege at September 28, 2011 10:38 AM

I also love Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee Furness as a couple, and William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman.

And Allison Hannigan and Alexis Denisof win for cutest Halloween couples for all time.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 28, 2011 10:38 AM

A win for everyone except Tom and Rita, which begat the career of Nia Vardolos, like some mutant hellbaby.

Posted by: bbmcrae at September 28, 2011 10:40 AM

Nia Vardalos and Ian Gomez are quite lovely as a couple.

Posted by: Jerry at September 28, 2011 11:11 AM

Which is lovely, but her movies make angel babies cry.

Posted by: bbmcrae at September 28, 2011 11:20 AM

Yay! This list warmed the cockles of my cold, black heart. Especially Carole Lombard & Clark Gable chowing down.

Posted by: K at September 28, 2011 11:29 AM

That's my favorite pic, too, along with the header. Something about famous, beautiful couples just hanging out and chowing down.

Posted by: bbmcrae at September 28, 2011 11:37 AM

Yes! I do love the love. Also, more gay! And exclamation points!

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are adorable.

Posted by: Freller at September 28, 2011 12:28 PM

I second the Huffman/Macy marriage. Check this pic out: http://www.purepeople.com/media/felicity-huffman-et-son-mari-william-h_m623236

Posted by: bananapanda at September 28, 2011 12:29 PM

Its pretty well known that Spencer Tracey was an abusive alcoholic, sparing no one from his wrath and demands, including Katherine - who (despite his infidelities) spent large chunks of her life pleading with him to get help and then taking care of him when he refused.

Posted by: notsoromantic at September 28, 2011 12:57 PM

Goddamn you Rowles! I know how to get my fingers pruney, and it ain't by letting them swim in no adorableness.

Posted by: Pookie at September 28, 2011 12:59 PM

Um, what?

Posted by: Jerry at September 28, 2011 1:01 PM

I had always heard that Woods was wasted and fell off and drowned, and everyone else was too wasted to hear her scream. Pretty sure it wasn't murder.

Posted by: eliza at September 28, 2011 1:34 PM

Aw. This warmed my overwhelmed-with-wedding-planning heart.

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at September 28, 2011 1:45 PM

bonus points for lodging the lyrics to that easy listening classic "key largo" in my skull.

and gable + lombard eating watermelon = squeeeee

Posted by: poesy at September 28, 2011 2:55 PM

It's still too soon for me to talk about losing Paul Newman

Posted by: Laurie at September 28, 2011 3:21 PM

Keira Knightly and Rupert broke up like months ago, Caspar!

She's playing house with one of the Klaxon boys (Jamie, the other one, not the tall funny one).

Posted by: Teresa at September 28, 2011 3:26 PM

Filliam H Muffman FTW!

love, love this post. made my day of doing other people's taxes a little sunnier!

(and wow, that looks like Jason Segal in the header pic.)

Posted by: Amynae at September 28, 2011 4:26 PM

Yes to Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner!

No love to Will Arnett and Amy Poehler?

Posted by: TheEmpress at September 28, 2011 5:01 PM

Sigh. Paul Newman. I miss him.

Posted by: Zirze at September 28, 2011 5:14 PM

I'm with notsoromantic - can't put a long-term extramarital affair in with other legitimate couples.

What about Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks? His words about her when she died were so lovely.

Posted by: samantha t at September 28, 2011 5:15 PM

Wot? No Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisov? That's practically the definition of adorable overload right there, that is. I dare you to try and find a photo of them that ain't cute. I double-dare you.

Posted by: greg at September 28, 2011 6:12 PM

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett! They did this completely adorable ad for Gap a few years back. Google it, bitches. So frickin' cute!

Posted by: Lemon Poundcake at September 28, 2011 7:28 PM

No Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams? I know that no one wants to admit that they saw "The Notebook," but they were so adorable together.

Posted by: Pat at September 28, 2011 7:35 PM

Any nice pictures of Rock Hudson and Jim Nabors?

Posted by: Pat C. at September 28, 2011 7:52 PM

I loved Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Just big old chunks of love for them as a couple and as individuals.

Posted by: debbye at September 28, 2011 8:23 PM

So glad Siege and TheEmpress remembered a lovely couple. I misted just thinking about Gene and Gilda.

My mom, who was beautiful back-in-the-day, used to say, "How could Paul Newman have married such a homely woman?" (Mom married a man, my dad, that looked very much like a cross between a Paul-Newman/young- thin-Ted-Kennedy, so I guess her "gorgeous" genes were talkin'; ironically, not one of their progeny is beautiful. Warning: Brangelina!)

Mom was not a shallow person, except, maybe, in this respect. I was in elementary school when she started talking about "inner beauty," so I'm just now beginning to question her motives. She seemed to change her opinion of Joanne Woodward as I grew progressively less attractive and nerdy. "Paul Newman sees Joanne Woodward's INNER beauty," was her new mantra. Her words launched me, young girl, in a straight trajectory towards the quest for "inner beauty."

*gasps* Oh. Dear.

Posted by: Stinky at September 28, 2011 8:24 PM

@Stinky: in what skewed kind of universe is young Joanne Woodward not considered an attractive woman?

Posted by: raouldukejr at September 29, 2011 9:37 AM

I'd include Desi and Lucy even though they got divorced, simply for the fact that up until their deaths, they talked on the phone every single night before bed. Not sure if that's 100% romantic, but that's probably one of the healthiest friendly divorces I've ever heard of.

Posted by: scorzi at September 29, 2011 1:05 PM

Will Arnett and Amy Poehler? No? Too cute?

Posted by: The Lola Monster at September 29, 2011 2:11 PM

You don't choose Angie and brad because they are not cute, but you think rita wilson and douchie hanks are? (and sorry, pacey's happy family portrait ain't cute, either. They look good, but they are not cute at all. Would you include affleck and jennifer gardner here? I didn't think so)

Posted by: Dan at September 29, 2011 5:33 PM

I kept thinking during the Emmys that I would love to go to a dinner party at Amy and Will's house. ADORABLE.

Posted by: Mel C. at October 4, 2011 1:44 PM

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Because It Can't All Be Cynicism And Snark: The Most Goddamn Adorable Couples In Hollywood History

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