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An Ode To The Facebook Trending Topics Section

By Riley Silverman | Seriously Random Lists | August 26, 2016 |


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Oh, Facebook. Your Trending Topics section comes to us and tries to tell us the things that those around us are talking about. You bring us stories of TV shows and politics, of mothers in Chewbacca masks and of impending disasters. And yet, no matter the story, no matter the stakes or the severity, you manage to somehow make it weird every time.

Sometimes it’s the subject matter:

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Or the level of gravitas given to a pretty nothing story:

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(You heard it here first, folks, human man gets hair cut!)

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(Actor wears costume!)

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(Finally, we get to follow up on our favorite actor, Scoot McNairy)

Sometimes you exclude certain details that explain why a story might be relevant:

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Or fail to even grasp what might have made the story interesting:

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Sometimes you use quotation marks to make a sincere expression seem real sarcastic:

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Or weird language that makes a simple coming out sound like an involuntary outing:

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Sometimes it’s just the choices you make with pairing:

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But if I had to pick my favorite thing about you:

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It would definitely be the strange linguistic backflips you make, I’m assuming for legal reasons, to keep from sounding like you’re confirming a story is true.

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Like that time this gentleman maybe died:

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Or this day when just no one would confirm anything:

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Or this one that is still my favorite of all time:

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Riley Silverman: Pajiba Writer Pens Article On Trending Topics, Reports Say


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