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A Wicked F*ing Time In Boston: Southie, An "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" Production

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (22)



no-reservations-southie.jpg

The top eleven quotes from this week’s “No Reservations,” an honorarium to roughneck Boston, Southie, circa 1973. …Otherwise known as “the latest reasons I love Tony Bourdain.”

11. “When you’re in Southie, well, it’s Boston, but it ain’t.”

10. “As television professionals, all we have to do is drink for the rest of the afternoon.”

9. “Sometimes a thing becomes a cliche because it’s just so damn good.”

8. “The drink of choice here is alcohol. There’s beer. And whiskey, apparently. And oh yeah, this, a mix of Jagermeister and Red Bull that’s just wrong. But not nearly as wrong as this stuff — Dr. McGillicuddy. More like Dr. Kevorkian, in effect.”

7. After losing at a game of candlepin bowling (the stupidest game evah, in my humble opinion) by 51 points and buying beers for the winning locals: “I spray paint Bucky Dent’s name on the men’s room stall on the way out but it’s small satisfaction after the anal rampage on the lanes.”

6. “And though, personally, I thought Robin Williams unforgivably fucked that film [Good Will Hunting] they shot here [Woody’s], I do love the company and the complimentary beef stew.”

5. “I support fully all adult American’s right to eat themselves to death — it’s pretty much what I’m doing for a living.”

4. “Now, I love corn beef hash — just love it — especially when it’s not your canned cat food variety. The stuff here is a delightful blend of corn beef, potatoes, and peppers. Throw some runny eggs on top and I am all over that.”

Me too, Tony.

3. “And the Peter Yates film version [of The Friends of Eddie Coyle] with Robert Mitchum shot in the early 70’s is, well, something of an obsession with me.”

Me too, Tony. Me too.

2. “You know that stuff that they call Manhattan Clam Chowder. It’s not a chowder, it’s a soup.”

“Ha ha ha, ha ha ha … show-der, show-der? It’s chow-dah, say it right!”

1. Slurringly drunk mid-afternoon — as one should be in Southie — discussing the difficulties of finding a good place to shit while on the road : “There’s nothing like you can pull up into a gas station with a little convenience store and a bathroom and there’s one person rolling the hot dogs on the thing and you walk in and, you know, you’re running and you run right into the bathroom and you make some horrifying fucking explosive noise. You come out of there knowing that this terrifying waaaaaft, this stench, is going to follow you out the door and you’re like on your way and you’re like ‘hey sorr- hey thanks,’ what do you do, say thanks?”

Bonus quote, from a local asked what the perfect hangover breakfast is: “Vodka.”









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Comments

Maybe it's a lack of sleep or because I'm hungry, but I really didn't get any of that.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 27, 2011 12:11 PM

Man, I love No Reservations. Favorite episode is when he went to Harbin, China and did nothing but get drunk off of rice wine and complain about the cold. Angry Tony always makes me laugh the hardest. Second favorite is when he went with his wife to her hometown of Sardinia and got mocked for his shoddy Italian cooking.

Posted by: Julie at April 27, 2011 12:20 PM

2. “You know that stuff that they call Manhattan Clam Chowder. It’s not a chowder, it’s a soup.”

YES! YES! A thousand times, yes! What an abomination. I'll definitely be watching this On Demand later.

Posted by: Rebecca at April 27, 2011 12:36 PM


He is far more delish than any of the food featured on his show.

Posted by: klingonfree at April 27, 2011 12:36 PM

That wasn't a local with the vodka comment, it was Mark Ruffino. He also had the followup to the public restroom scenario, saying he just leaves a five-dollar bill on the counter.

My favorite episode will probably always be Iceland. Man, he really fucking hated Iceland. It's hilarious.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 27, 2011 12:56 PM

Oh, Tony. You just know he's filthy in the bedroom.

And the living room. And totally the kitchen.

And, by the sound of it, the bathroom.

And then would totally want some headcheese after. I love him.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at April 27, 2011 12:59 PM

I just watched the Malaysia episode this morning and that was a great one. I love the Sardinia one too, but that wasn't the one where he was mocked. It was when he was in Tuscany and his wife wasn't his wife yet. He had the gall to make a dish that included both pasta and meat. The gall! Sardinia was where he got to enjoy Italian family/food culture. That one was pure food porn. Grumpy Tony is great, but the places where he truly seems to enjoy himself are the best.

Posted by: katy at April 27, 2011 1:02 PM

FAKIN' A RIGHT. YOU FILTHY BALL-SWALLOAHS WHO AH NAWT FROM SOUTHIE DO NAWT UNDAHSTAHND THE KIND OF HAHT WE HAVE HEE-UH. EVEN BORDAIN, A NEW YAWK CAWK MUNCHA, KNOWS HOW MUCH WE LOVE OWAH CULINARY PEDROIAS. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

Posted by: Tawmmy at April 27, 2011 1:03 PM

In spite of the fact that he hates vegetarians, I don't hate Tony Bourdain. Sometimes, you just need to appreciate what a fucking bastard he is, and the joy he takes in being that bastard.

When students tell me that they think they want to be a chef, I always recommend that they read Kitchen Confidential as an introduction to the sort of life they're considering.

And Seth, candle pin bowling is awesome. You can use the fallen pins in your favor--to help knock down other pins! And the ball is small enough that you can send it down the lane without injuring your wrist or wrenching your back.

Thanks for the heads-up about this episode. I'll have to seek it out.

Posted by: tamatha at April 27, 2011 1:07 PM

Tamatha, false. Candle pin bowling is stupid. It used to infuriate me when a group of us would go into an alley to do some proper bowling, only to see one meesly real bowling lane in the distance, with the rest all being hogged by those stupid little pins and those stupid little balls. Terrible game. Maybe it's just a male compensation thing, but I like my balls and pins properly large.

Posted by: Seth at April 27, 2011 1:15 PM

This week's episode was good one.

The best episode with Bourdain complaining non-stop is Iceland. He hated Iceland, thinks it's utterly overrated, and was nothing short of miserable the entire time. Wednesday is right, it's glorious.

Tawmmy, shouldn't you be drunk and watching the Soxs lose at some bar?

Posted by: Melody at April 27, 2011 1:34 PM

I watch this show a lot, and I admire Tony for being able to travel to exotic locales, eat well and drink impressively - and get paid for it! No Reservations is like Top Gear for foodies and travel buffs.

One of my favorite episodes was when he went to Indonesia, had the cabin to himself (along with the camera crew) and chowed down on durian. From what I've read, the smell of durian is little short of indescribable.

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 27, 2011 1:47 PM

I too love Tony at the extremes--either the places he really REALLY loves or really REALLY hates (and yes, he REALLY did not want to be in Iceland in winter--can you blame him?). Though I must say the most memorable incident for me was when he went out in the bush in Namibia (I think), and the group he was with fed him barely cooked wild boar anus. Watching him struggle so hard not to betray his disgust and insult the generosity of his hosts was both hilarious and sort of touching.

Posted by: Siege at April 27, 2011 2:07 PM

Ah, that's right Katy! Sardinia was the one where I wanted to jump through the screen and vacation.

Posted by: Julie at April 27, 2011 2:14 PM

Pretty sure Tawmmy is my favorite commenter ever. And I sleep with one, so that's saying something.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 27, 2011 2:17 PM

My Favorite has got to be the San Frnacisco episode, mainly because I watched it after being totally burnt out on the whole SF thing. He comes to the hippie capitol of the owrld and what does he do? He tracks down our greasiest, meatiest, most anti-vegan establishments ever, relentlessly mocks the SF attitude and then proceeds to admit over a giant greasy breakfast that perhaps even we do have our good points.

Amen, Mr. Bourdain

Posted by: meh at April 27, 2011 2:35 PM

Melody,
He's not gonna understand what you just said because you didn't spell SAWKS!!!!1! correctly.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 27, 2011 2:59 PM

I loved the episode where he went somewhere in Africa, and the local tribe fed him unwashed asshole of some animal and told him it was a delicacy. I figure they were all laughing at him for falling for it.

I also love any episode that features Zamir, his crazy Russian sidekick.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 27, 2011 3:08 PM

Zamir is awesome. And so Machiavellian.

Posted by: Julie at April 27, 2011 4:11 PM

The Wanderer-
There's a reason durian is banned from the better hotels in Asia- it smells like concentrated cat urine. However, it tastes wonderful.

Posted by: GV Black at April 27, 2011 6:03 PM

GV Black, I beg to differ--you may be somewhat close to describing the smell of durian, but to me, the smell AND taste can best be described as "linebacker's sweaty jock strap". Not that I've had the dubious honor of knowing what ANY jock strap smells or tastes like, *ahem*.
There's a reason why it's illegal to eat it in public in certain countries--because it is absolutely revolting.

Posted by: Jessie at April 27, 2011 9:37 PM

Pretty sure Tawmmy is my favorite commenter ever. And I sleep with one, so that's saying something.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 27, 2011 2:17 PM

You sleep with a Tommy, a commenter or a Bostonian?

I too am of the Bostonian persuasion having learned to speak in North Cambridge. Moved to the burbs many years ago and it amazes me that one of my kids has a Boston accent and the other doesn't.
I understand you perfectly Tawmmy.

Go Patriots!!!

Posted by: kirbyjay at April 28, 2011 9:39 AM