web counter
 

A Tuesday Morning Ab-Off

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (53)

RYAN_ABS1.jpg

The confluence of a few things led me to this dark, transparently exploitative place this morning. First, after the female-skewed UK Redheads and “Chuck” posts over the last 24 hours, I was beginning to feel guilty that I was ignoring our female majority and that if I kept it up, people would stop questioning my heterosexuality and the silly gay jokes would stop in the comments section. We can’t have that, can we?

Additionally, a very lovely reader, Anne, found some images online that elicited a request for an ab-off, and who am I to decline a request? I won’t reveal the nature of those images, lest I give away the surprise. Needless to say, one of them is among the four participants in today’s B-List Ab-Off. And that his appearance here would make Stacey Nosek very happy.

You know how this works. Here are four images. A, B, C, and D. You vote for your favorite set of abs. At a later time, after voting has completed and you’ve lost interest or have discovered them on your own, I will reveal the identities of the men who belong to those abs.


A.

blistaboff1.jpg

B.

blistaboff2.jpg

C.

blistaboff3.jpg

D.

blistaboff4.jpg


poll by twiigs.com









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Tony Gilroy Solves Jason Bourne Dilemma In Dumbest Way Imaginable | Lessons in How to Tank a Franchise | Pajiba Love 10/12/10 | Beavis and Butthead, Sexism in The Social Network and Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly →









Comments

Sorry,I'm the wrong demographic for this.

Now, give me a shout when you do a "boobs off".

Posted by: Uncle JR at October 12, 2010 11:47 AM

If these people are from the Jersey Shore, I will be very pissed off.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 12, 2010 11:57 AM

A! I'd know those abs anywhere.

Posted by: Stacey Nosek at October 12, 2010 11:59 AM

I saw the episode featuring A, seeing them in action is even hotter, so yeah, A it is.

Posted by: Yan at October 12, 2010 12:00 PM

I'm torn. This will require more leering careful consideration.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 12, 2010 12:02 PM

B gets my vote because of the hair on his chest and the tasty abs. Godtopus do I love hair on a chest. *drool*

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at October 12, 2010 12:03 PM

A abs. Just smooth and beautiful.

Posted by: Candy at October 12, 2010 12:04 PM

I definitely know those B abs... they may be the only thing that boy has going for him, but they are a damn good thing.

I feel like I should be able to identify D, too.

Posted by: Gabs at October 12, 2010 12:07 PM

B! I know my babydaddy's hot bod anywhere.

Posted by: calliope1975 at October 12, 2010 12:08 PM

I recognized A and B. C looks gross, too many odd lumps. D is nice, but A got my vote.

Posted by: Drake at October 12, 2010 12:10 PM

@Pinky McLadybits

Sing it sister!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 12, 2010 12:22 PM

Crap, crap, crappity-crap!

I was lookin' at B and clicked C. Subtract one from c and add it to B please.

I like my men lookin' like men, not hairless infants (albeit fine abtastic infants).

Is it obvious I married a Wookie?

Posted by: latvianluck at October 12, 2010 12:27 PM

A! B! C! D!

I've never been so in love with the alphabet.

Posted by: mswas at October 12, 2010 12:27 PM

Pinky McLadybits & Mrs. Julien

And the choir sang: "Amen & Hallelujah."

Posted by: Kayanne at October 12, 2010 12:29 PM

Where did Anne get that picture of me? 1995?

Posted by: admin at October 12, 2010 12:29 PM

Hey, no fair on non-identifying the abs. I know only D. That, is for you soccer-challenged out there, is Cristiano Ronaldo.

Posted by: Ari at October 12, 2010 12:34 PM

You mean C, right? Isn't that a towel with the Spanish flag on C.

I thought we didn't identify to avoid preconceptions; however, as a hetersexual woman worth her salt, I do actually know who each of them are. Okay, I'm only 91% sure of A, but that's still an "A" right?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 12, 2010 12:57 PM

What up Jared Padalecki

Posted by: buttercup at October 12, 2010 12:58 PM

I don't know who B is, but the hairy chest had me at "Lick me to my happy trail."

Posted by: Julie at October 12, 2010 12:59 PM

Dustin, have I told you lately that I love you?

D has the best abs, but A's shoulders trump D's abs.


Decisions, decisions...

Posted by: Alice at October 12, 2010 1:07 PM

It's been a long week so far. Today at lunch I was talking with a friend about how it's only Tuesday but I'm already at Saturday, exhaustion-wise. Now, though, I'd say I'm probably only at Thursday! Ahh, the wondrous powers of ab rejuvination therapy.

Posted by: esme at October 12, 2010 1:07 PM

I thought A might be Michael C. Hall.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 12, 2010 1:09 PM

hehehe, I know who D is and it's making me giggle...

Posted by: Lennon at October 12, 2010 1:10 PM

I know EXACTLY who B is, having studied that photo (among others) for many, many hours. And I disagree that the abs are the only thing B has going for him. He's cute in the face, he's got decent timing, and also, there's the shoulders, and the Magic V. And so, while the others are lovely, B will have my vote today. And my special private time.

Can we just thank you now, Dustin? THANK. YOU.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at October 12, 2010 1:17 PM

I'm ashamed to admit I can't place any of them. But definitely B. Mmmm.... B....

Posted by: cydeleida at October 12, 2010 1:21 PM

Ooooooh, A and B are close, but I got excited about not knowing who B was, so I went for it. EXCITEMENT.

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2010 1:49 PM

A - Stacey I thought of you when I saw those....

Posted by: sarahk at October 12, 2010 2:05 PM

ooooh b. yes, b, please. may i have b please? please?

i voted b.

if you're gonna pick an anonymous photo don't pick one featuring an iconic tattoo!!!

Posted by: dangerous_puff at October 12, 2010 2:54 PM

B! Hair makes everything better (well, maybe not *everything*)

Posted by: Lia at October 12, 2010 2:55 PM

@Lia - It may not make everything look better, but it makes them look less like uncooked bread.

B looks conspicuously groomed. I wonder what it looked like before the manscaping.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 12, 2010 3:51 PM

Speaking as a healthy bicurious female, I just have to say that I TRULY don't mind staring at pics of Sarah Walker in her bikini.

That said, I also truly don't mind staring at yummy male abs, either. And Padalecki for the win! I prefer Dean usually, but damn, JPad cleans up pretty.

Posted by: Sandisan at October 12, 2010 4:22 PM

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, etc.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at October 12, 2010 5:30 PM

Seriously, that B just looks the manliest. Hairy chests are sexy.

Posted by: figgy at October 12, 2010 5:47 PM

A! Perfect combination of hot abs, sexy chest and strong arms. Yum!

Posted by: Cuca at October 12, 2010 6:17 PM

If anybody wants to see A in action, there was a splendid section of sexual objectification at the start of last week's Supernatural.

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2010 7:37 PM

I'd recognize the gorgeous Mr. Padalecki anywhere - hot damn that is one fine body. Bless Supernatural for having him shirtless with some regularity. I still went with B though because he has hair, and I'm old damnit - which means I like my men to have some hair.

Posted by: Groovy Violet at October 12, 2010 7:41 PM

My pick was B. I didn't know who he was, so I did an image back-search to find out, and I am not disappointed. Unlike last time, when I voted for Lautner. Sheesh!

Posted by: Amanda6 at October 12, 2010 8:10 PM

B --- looks the most naturally that way and has the best body hair. The hotness.

Posted by: petalfrog at October 12, 2010 8:33 PM

!!!!
I am computor-dumb. How does one do this "image back-search" of which you speak, Amanda6?

Posted by: Anna von Beav at October 12, 2010 10:06 PM

A lot of ladies professing love for the chestal hair... I love you all!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 12, 2010 10:37 PM

wow. as if the pajiban women aren't oversexed enough as it is.

normally we have a post and it either passingly mentions or features in the header picture a male who is neither overly short nor overly fat and the pajiban women have a wild howl as though they are drowning in their own sexual fluids.

I spend a lot of my time on a university campus. university campuses are suspended in 1983. women are helpless does, bamboozled into sex through marriage or booze, men are heinous monstrous rapists.

then I come here, to women gone wild, not the topless addition. everyday. seriously, does this have something to do with the anonymity of the internet?

I haz confusion. (and testify it is a world of confused frightened men).

Posted by: idleprimate at October 12, 2010 10:48 PM

oooh I haven't watched last week's Supernatural yet, this looks like good motivation to get right on that!

Posted by: Even Stevens at October 12, 2010 11:21 PM

idelprimate (love the handle by the way) - I'm not sure about the rest of the women on Pajiba, but I can tell you that in college I was like the young women that you speak of on college campuses. Fast forward to my late 30s, and I've changed drastically. I respond to images of virile men in a way that is more traditionally associated with how men respond to images of half-naked women: boldly and with a great amount of lust. I never looked at men this way when I was younger.

Having said all this, don't be scared! It's not like we expect you to look this way. In fact it's been my experience that unless it's a guy's job to look like that, he is incredibly boring because all he does is watch what he eats and work out. Just relax and enjoy our lust when it comes your way. :)

Posted by: Groovy Violet at October 12, 2010 11:22 PM

Oh blech it's Mario Lopez.

Posted by: mehh at October 13, 2010 1:04 AM

That's the only way I like Chris Evans, sans face. BBBBBBBravo.

Posted by: Me at October 13, 2010 7:44 AM

A!!! That is one hot bod! Then I find out it's Padalecki.... yummy.

And who says Chris Evans doesn't have a nice face?? I think he's pretty spunky.

Who is D???? It is NOT Cristiano Ronaldo, he is far more toned than D is

Posted by: Lulu at October 13, 2010 9:14 AM

I've always looked at men that way. Also, I don't believe in marriage.

/Like anyone would wanna 'R' her...

Posted by: Anna von Beav at October 13, 2010 9:30 AM

D is Ryan Phillipe!!

Posted by: Erindiana_Jones at October 13, 2010 9:32 AM

Anna von Beav -

I'm not that cool :p

It's a Firefox add-on called TinEye Image Search. You right-click the image and do the TinEye search, and it finds the image other places on the web, which in this case helped me figure out whose head belonged to those abs.

Posted by: Amanda6 at October 13, 2010 6:26 PM

Yup, B it is. I regret nothing.

Posted by: TweeBubblyKlutz at October 14, 2010 5:16 AM

A. He also has the best pecs, shoulders, and arms. C is kind of nasty.

Posted by: rowena at October 16, 2010 10:03 AM

I'm soo dustin right now
a. padalecki
b. evans
c. Mario lopez??
d. ryan phillipe??

Posted by: james at October 16, 2010 6:46 PM

I can't tell who any of these gorgeous men are right off the bat, but....does it matter? Thank you for the gratuitous male nudity, Dustin. Thank you.

Posted by: Dj at October 16, 2010 9:58 PM