free counter with statistics A Movie for Every Holiday | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

Leprechaun1.jpg
Holiday! Celebrate! A Movie for Every Holiday

A Seriously Random List / Brian Prisco

Seriously Random Lists | May 22, 2009 | Comments (27)

It’s true. If you were so inclined, there exists a film for every American holiday — whether TK actually has to work or not, to be watched in between consumption of sweets, grilled meats, and copious amounts of alcohol. Sure, some are stretch. For your edification, the Hallmark Channel presents, Horror for the Holidays:

New Year’s Day: Bloody New Years

Martin Luther King Day: Candyman

Groundhog Day: C.H.U.D.

President’s Day: The Transient (vampire Abraham Lincoln tries to kill “fourscore and seven women”)

Valentine’s Day: My Bloody Valentine

St. Patrick’s Day: Leprechaun

April Fool’s Day: April Fools’ Day

Easter Sunday: Night of the Lepus (killer bunnies)

Earth Day: The Happening

Arbor Day: From Hell It Came (killer trees)

Mother’s Day: Mother’s Day

Memorial Day: Jacob’s Ladder

Flag Day: The Postman

Father’s Day: The Step-Father

Independence Day: Uncle Sam

Labor Day: Rosemary’s Baby

Columbus Day: Suspiria (it’s Italian too!)

Halloween: ….hmm. Can’t think of one.

Veterans Day: Bubba Ho-Tep

Thanksgiving: Eli Roth’s “Thanksgiving”

Christmas: Silent Night, Deadly Night


← UFO Hunters | The Most Disappointing Summer Blockbusters of All Time →



Comments

Martin Luther King Day: Candyman

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: Angelmonster at May 22, 2009 11:47 AM

Lalalalalalalalalalalalal these movies do not exist lalalalalalalalalalalala. Can someone point me to the musicals, please?

Posted by: slower lower at May 22, 2009 11:49 AM

Yom Kippur: The Unborn.

Posted by: badalamenti at May 22, 2009 11:50 AM

I might have gone w/ "Blackula" instead of Candyman, but that's just me.

Posted by: UncleJR at May 22, 2009 11:51 AM

Slower Lower, I'll follow you.

Posted by: MN_Jen at May 22, 2009 11:52 AM

Now you're using Madonna lyrics Dustin? You really might want to throw yourself down the stairs.

Christmas: Ginger Snaps

Posted by: admin at May 22, 2009 12:00 PM

Labor Day: Rosemary’s Baby

HA! It's not celebrating that kind of Labor!!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at May 22, 2009 12:22 PM

You left out Secreta ... um, Administrative Professionals Day.

"Secretary," of course.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 22, 2009 12:24 PM

Patriot's Day - Fever Pitch

Posted by: branded at May 22, 2009 12:29 PM

You haven't covered Chanukah or Ramadan...or either Solstice, or Walpurgisnacht or Boxing Day or...

Posted by: Jerce at May 22, 2009 12:40 PM

You left out Secreta ... um, Administrative Professionals Day.

I especially enjoy the administrative punishment aspect of that special day.

Posted by: admin at May 22, 2009 12:48 PM

"Boxing Day"? How about "When We Were Kings"?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 22, 2009 12:50 PM

Talk Like a Pirate Day: The Fog

Posted by: Julie at May 22, 2009 12:52 PM

You didn't use Groundhog Day as the movie for Groundhog Day? What gives?

Posted by: alphawhiskey at May 22, 2009 12:58 PM

President's Day obviously needs to be The Tripper, where a man in a Ronald Reagan mask decides to kill off a bunch of tree-hugging hippies. It also works for 4/20.

And, spoilers be damned, the only correct answer for Easter is God Told Me To. Also works for St. Patrick's Day.

Posted by: Robert at May 22, 2009 1:05 PM

Not to malign your list or whatnot, but I would've gone with New Years Evil for New Year's Day.

It's got everything: a killer who calls himself Evil (pronounced Ee-ville,) a thoughtful commentary on the evils of feminism, a bitchin' 80s soundtrack (with bonus bitchin' 80s fashions,) and a crazy son whose fractured sanity manifests itself in wearing red pantyhose on part of his head like a Batman cowl.

Also: bimbos!

Posted by: Melodie at May 22, 2009 1:24 PM

HA! It's not celebrating that kind of Labor!!

That's why it's AWESOME. I cackled at that. CACKLED.

Posted by: figgy at May 22, 2009 1:30 PM

Prisco, you really need to write a horror version of Groundhog day where the groundhog gets some kind of virus and goes on a murdering rampage through the town---THAT NO ONE CAN GET OUT OF (cos of the blizzard and stuff) and oh man they all try to hide and kill it but NO! Phil is super fast and scurries everywhere and FEASTS ON THEIR EYES.

Just give me some money when you make it big with my idea, mkay?

Posted by: figgy at May 22, 2009 1:39 PM

Martin Luther King Day: Candyman

Oh man. That's fucking hilarious.

Posted by: Heathen at May 22, 2009 1:58 PM

Why does it have to be horror movies? Is that some kind of jab at our National Holidays?!
Fuck you, Brian!
*stomps off*

Posted by: Kballs at May 22, 2009 2:20 PM

'Veterans Day: Bubba Ho-Tep
Thanksgiving: Eli Roth’s “Thanksgiving”
Christmas: Silent Night, Deadly Night'

Mr. Pisco, you will always have my love, respect, and admiration for those three. I bid you farewell, my liege.

Posted by: Brittany at May 22, 2009 2:45 PM

What about "Black Christmas [1974]" for Xmas?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at May 22, 2009 10:30 PM

I might have gone w/ "Blackula" instead of Candyman, but that's just me.

Posted by: UncleJR at May 22, 2009 11:51 AM

That one's saved for Kwanzaa. Blackula was one BAD motherfucker!

Not as bad as me,


CF.

Posted by: CountFuckula at May 23, 2009 12:18 AM

Anybody besides me ever see Mother's Day? A bigger cinematic geek show you will never hope to find. It's magnificent.

Posted by: sansho1 at May 23, 2009 5:21 PM

Gremlins for Christmas and Gremlins II for Arbor Day

Posted by: Adam C at May 24, 2009 7:08 AM

H-O-T
Dating Networking Site

__SeekBi Co M___

Helps you find your ideal lover

Posted by: hotgirl at May 24, 2009 11:13 PM

Considering Kwanzaa's more like a week, you should have a double bill of "Blacula" and "Scream Blacula Scream". Given some of the agricultural aspects of it, perhaps also "Children of the Corn"?

Posted by: MadMike at May 25, 2009 7:22 PM