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'80s Shows That Should Shouldn't Be Brought Back

A Seriously Random List / Guest Listologist Jeremy Stein

Seriously Random Lists | May 27, 2009 | Comments (22)

With the sweeping success of “Battlestar Galactica,” we can only hold our breath and hope that the finest era of television can be brought back. Unfortunately we are stuck with reality talent shows and these fine, fine remakes are our best shot at redemption.

The Love Boat: Picture it: Loads of hot twentysomethings having promiscuous sex with the ship’s doctors. Does he have the key to the condom box? Is Charo available?

Bosom Buddies: What could be funnier than two guys dressing up as girls to get an apartment in a single-sex building? But who could possibly replicate Tom Hanks’ fro?


3. Silver Spoons: Picture the cool gadgets Ricky Stratton could have now. A bed shaped like an iPhone?


Diff’rent Strokes: Creepy old white rich guy goes to an orphanage in Malawi and brings home babies. Starring Maddona and Bernie Maddof.


Fantasy Island: If Obama can find a female Latino Supreme Court Justice nominee then Hollywood casting should be able to find a Filipino midget to replace Tattoo. Am I right?

(Are they really bringing back “Fantasy Island”?)

Jeremy Stein lives in Portland, Maine. He drinks beers and shoots the shit with the publisher of Pajiba.


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Comments

They already re-made Fantasy Island. It had Malcom McDowell as Mr. Roarke and was around for like, 3 weeks. It sucked.

Also, I believe the preferred term these days is "dwarf" or "little person". Not that you bitches care.

Posted by: Sarah at May 27, 2009 4:19 PM

Didn't the love boat come back as well for about a month? With guest appearances by the origial cast-I think it was on UPN or the CW pre merge. I just want to avoid a remake of the Greatest American Hero. Talk about a 'Fro.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 27, 2009 4:31 PM

Whoa whoa whoa.

Malcom McDowell was the host of Fantasy Island and killed Kirk.

Ricardo Montalban was the host of Fantasy Island and killed Spock.

Star Trek XII: Tattoo vs. McCoy

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at May 27, 2009 4:32 PM

They also remade The Love Boat. It was called The Love Boat: The Next Wave. And starred Robert Urich as the Captain. It looks like it actually had two seasons: 97-98 & 98-99.

Posted by: tamatha at May 27, 2009 4:34 PM

They should do Perfect Strangers. Balki can be played by Sascha Baron Cohen. It's the part he was born to play.

Posted by: admin at May 27, 2009 4:35 PM

Much as TV today gets maligned, and to be sure there is enough crap out there, it's good to know that we no longer live in the cultural wasteland of the late '70s/early '80s. There was just so much terrible out there, and no one even knew it because they only could compare it to the other terrible on the remaining two channels. Augh!

Though "The Misadventures of Sherriff Lobo" was outrageously awesome.

Posted by: Bd at May 27, 2009 4:53 PM

Together, we're gonna find our way. Together, taking the time each dayyyyyyyaayyyyyy

I haven't watched the Silver Spoons clip yet, but that was the theme song, right?

Posted by: katy at May 27, 2009 5:08 PM

What about Small Wonder?

What the hell is the matter with people?! WHY DO YOU HATE SMALL WONDER?

Vicki forever!

Posted by: Jerce at May 27, 2009 5:23 PM

3 words: alf

Posted by: gp at May 27, 2009 5:23 PM

Seriously, though, I'd totally watch a revamped Max Headroom. No, I mean that.

Posted by: Jerce at May 27, 2009 5:25 PM

I miss The Muppet Show.

I just looked it up on Wiki. It ran 76-81. I feel old.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 27, 2009 6:03 PM

You should have added "Gimme a Break" to this list. I always hated the idea of some Mammy-like, over-weight Black woman caring for the motherless white children of some balding white guy.

Posted by: Carolina Girl at May 27, 2009 6:25 PM

Hollywood casting should be able to find a Filipino midget to replace Tattoo.

Tila Tequila. BAM!

Posted by: figgy at May 27, 2009 6:32 PM

"The Charmings." Whoo, that was some bad TV.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 27, 2009 7:34 PM

Yea, let's bring back Diff'rent Strokes, because those three kids weren't kharmically fucked, let's try three more.

Posted by: slower lower at May 27, 2009 8:22 PM

You know what was absolutely fantastic in the 80's? Sesame Street. Not this revamped washed out version but the original acid washed version, the one that gave you the feeling that someone somewhere was perpetually high on SOMETHING when making it.
Beautiful.

I tell you Henson was a frikkin' genius! That and the Muppet Show made my 80's the best decade ever! Hell, some even rolled over into the 90's.

Posted by: Four Eyes at May 27, 2009 8:54 PM

@gp, When I first read this, I immediately thought of Alf. Could you imagine?! They would CGI him and it would end up looking like "Alvin and the Chipmunks".

Posted by: Heathen at May 27, 2009 8:57 PM

I don't know how many of you read Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy on ESPN.com) but he had a podcast recently where one of his friends brought up the idea of simply rebooting sitcoms that were successful, much like theyre doing non-stop with movies today. His one prime example was Cheers, set in Chicago with Vince Vaughn in the Ted Danson role.
It was a pretty fascinating discussion (did you know Charlie Sheen makes around $800k per episode of him being himself on Two and a Half Men?), and although the odds are that "Cheers: The Next Generation" would probably suck, that show would probably print its own money if it got the right cast. Thoughts?

Posted by: Aidan at May 27, 2009 9:21 PM

Not like Gary Coleman is doing anything worthwhile these days....what's Willis doing? Five to ten for armed robbery?

Posted by: Dristan at May 27, 2009 10:37 PM

Gem. I would be sooooooo sad if they did a remake, and they all looked like Avril Lavigne Bratz Dolls.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at May 28, 2009 12:06 PM

Vicki forever!

That made me laugh so hard. I thought I was the only one who remembered that awful show

Posted by: mario at May 29, 2009 2:48 PM

Nobody replaces Hervé Villechaize, nobody. If he were still alive he would probably have cut you for that idea.


Posted by: some Guy at May 31, 2009 5:08 PM