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5 Real-Life Images Somehow More Unflattering than the Contagion Character Posters

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (26)



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The character posters for Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming film, Contagion, were released today, and while they’re not that remarkable, I kind of love Gwyneth’s character poster because whenever I see it, I immediately think of this:

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Can we also give it up for Gwyneth? She is an exceedingly attractive woman, and while I don’t have much respect for her as a person or a singer, she’s a decent enough actress and I do appreciate that she’ll take on the occasional, more unbecoming role, like Contagion or Shallow Hal or even Shakespeare in Love. And in the spirit of that, I thought — along with the rest of the character posters for Contagion — I would present an unflattering image of each of the actors to level the playing field, so to speak. I’ll have to concede, however, that where it involved Marion Cotillard and Kate Winslet, unflattering images were not easy to come by. I would add, however, that browsing through them might have been the highlight of my day. They are comely women.

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Comments

Paltrow excluded, I'd still hit it. All of them (except Paltrow).

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at August 10, 2011 12:05 AM

So. . . no on the Paltrow?

Posted by: adam at August 10, 2011 12:19 AM

Will Kate Winslet be showing her tits in this?

Posted by: Tenebrous at August 10, 2011 12:54 AM

I thought that was that Tilda Swinton woman at first

Posted by: dl at August 10, 2011 12:56 AM

Do you think Jude Law had an inferiority complex with all those Oscar winners (including Soderbergh) on set? Did they all bring their statues to work one day and put them on the table next to their coffee mugs to razz him?

Posted by: krix at August 10, 2011 2:17 AM

*Sympathy yawn*

Posted by: Magiel at August 10, 2011 4:24 AM

Gwynnie reminds me of someone in that picture, an image from another film with a similar plot....fucking hell what is it?!

Posted by: Nadine at August 10, 2011 5:04 AM

Yeah, I thought that was James Spader. Frankly, I still kind of do.

Posted by: canaux at August 10, 2011 7:35 AM

Oh!! She looks like James Spader had a baby with the living deformed clone from Alien Resurrection. Also like the bitch with spinal meningitis from Pet Sematary. All of those things, mixed together, is how she looks

Posted by: Nadine at August 10, 2011 8:03 AM

I honestly thought the first one was James Spader!

Posted by: barec2 at August 10, 2011 8:42 AM

I thought that was Tilda Swanson as well, and it took me moments to process the rest of it based on that initial assumption. Sigh. It's only Wednesday. Blerg.

Posted by: Lurkey Turkey at August 10, 2011 9:15 AM

That one picture reminds me of how I felt when I had lasik surgery a month ago!

Posted by: Dingle Berry at August 10, 2011 9:16 AM

I would love to look like Kate Winslet on her worst day.

Posted by: Leslie K at August 10, 2011 9:54 AM

I love how that's the worst picture of Marion Cotillard you could find. She's just THAT goddamn beautiful.

Posted by: Kala at August 10, 2011 10:03 AM

Tilda Samsonite! I was WAY off!

Posted by: branded at August 10, 2011 10:08 AM

Guys, Can I just correct one thing? You don't think Gwynnie looks like Tilda Swinton. You think she looks like SWINTON except that SWINTON would make dying of a deadly virus SWINTONIAN and therefore EXQUISITE.

Posted by: Nadine at August 10, 2011 10:14 AM

I love how that's the worst picture of Marion Cotillard you could find. She's just THAT goddamn beautiful.

She can act circles around most actresses but when she tries to be ugly, she can only do it if she severely fucks up her eyebrows (see 'La Vie En Rose' for proof.)

Posted by: aptrapani at August 10, 2011 10:33 AM

Guys, Can I just correct one thing? You don't think Gwynnie looks like Tilda Swinton. You think she looks like SWINTON except that SWINTON would make dying of a deadly virus SWINTONIAN and therefore EXQUISITE.

I totally agree, Nadine. SWINTON could spin gold out of the plague. Why hasn't someone made a documentary about her? Or given her a fashion line for which she is the only model?

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at August 10, 2011 11:10 AM

Thought it was Niles Crane.

Posted by: Falstaff at August 10, 2011 11:40 AM

I think Gwynnie looks like Terri Schaivo.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at August 10, 2011 11:44 AM

White folks don't age well.

Posted by: MRod at August 10, 2011 12:20 PM

Come on, people, that's clearly Corin Nemec.

Posted by: anne at August 10, 2011 4:12 PM

Is that top pic from

Nell 2

or a an alternate scene from Jaws:

"This is no boating accident!"

Posted by: John W at August 10, 2011 11:29 PM

That's the WORST picture you can find of Winslet?

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at August 11, 2011 10:28 AM

It's true, Maryscott O'Connor. Unflattering pics of Winslet, when clicked upon, instantly turn into cheesecake. It's a fundamental function of the internet.

I honestly just Image Googled "Kate Winslet ugly" and the worst things it popped up with were a shot of Jessica Alba looking perfectly acceptable and one of Gillian Anderson just looking kind of tired.

Posted by: Salieri2 at August 11, 2011 11:12 PM

Wow...I didn't know this was a sequel of the talented mr. Ripley.

Posted by: James at August 17, 2011 10:39 PM