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The Five Biggest Oscar Snubs of 2009

A Seriously Random List XLVI / Dustin Rowles

Seriously Random Lists | January 22, 2009 | Comments (97)


What’s sort of remarkable about this year’s Oscar nominations is that, while almost all of the nominations were safe, dull, and expected, there weren’t a lot of snubs. Unfortunately, in 2008, there simply wasn’t that much to choose from. Hell, in some categories (supporting actor, excluded) even from amongst the nominees, it’s almost like picking the lesser evil. (The Razzies, on the other hand: There were way too many to choose from). It was all very unsatisfying. Granted, there were some really good performances this year, but aside from Heath Ledger’s Joker and, perhaps, Robert Downey’s turn in Tropic Thunder, there wasn’t really anything transcendent, like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia or Ledger in Brokeback Mountain or even Russell Crowe in The Insider (I liked Langella a lot in Frost/Nixon, but the problem with that performance was the he was a better Nixon than Nixon was.). There just weren’t that many performances that took your breath away. That makes choosing five snubs a fairly difficult endeavor this year, but here goes (Note: I did not see Happy-Go-Lucky so can not offer an opinion on the snub of Sally Hawkins):


5. Sam Rockwell for Best Actor in Snow Angels: It’s a movie no one saw, but Sam Rockwell (who also had a great turn in Choke) was flat-out phenomenal, and what was even more impressive was that he wasn’t anything like the Sam Rockwell characters we’re accustomed to — there was none of the Rockwell bravado, no swagger, and zero charm. He was a depressed, drunken, angry wife beater, and he was a scary motherfucker. When he was onscreen, your heart just kind of stopped.

4.Ben Kingsley for Best Supporting Actor in The Wackness: Another movie very few saw (I think it may have been released around the same time as The Dark Knight, so it vanished instantly), I think Prisco summed up Kinglsey’s performance in this phenomenal movie the best: “Forget every guru, every dragon villain, everything. Wash your mind clean. From his bizarre long hair to his weird honking accent, he’s a motherfucking delight to watch on screen. At any moment, he could have plummeted into complete cutesy caricature, but watching him and Peck on screen, with their no-bullshit strange friendship, is what movie watching is made for. Between Sexy Beast and this, he’s got a permanent Christopher Walken Pass for Life.”

3. Bruce Springsteen for Best Original Song for “The Wrestler”: I don’t disagree with the three choices the Academy made for best original song (two from Slumdog Millionaire and one for WALL-E), but why limit it to only three choices, especially when this amazing Springsteen song (which won the Golden Globe) could’ve been nominated, too? Hell: It would’ve meant that Springsteen would’ve been at the Oscars, which would’ve brought in a few more viewers than what looks to be an otherwise lackluster telecast, ratings-wise. Plus, it was just a flat-out great song, and actually added as much to The Wrestler as Evan Rachel Wood did.

2. Let the Right One In for Best Foreign Language Film: Get the fuck out of here. No. Really. Get the fuck out of here. I was disappointed that Tell No One didn’t get a nomination, but France submitted The Class instead (our review of that won’t be out until next week). But Let the Right One In was not only the best foreign language film of the year, but was easily better than all five of the Best Picture nominations. This is a true goddamn travesty, and it also means that the movie will probably be ignored even more by mainstream audiences, so that the Drew Goddard remake in development will be the only version most folks will ultimately be familiar with. And that’s a real goddamn shame becuase Let the Right One In was one of the most haunting romances I’ve ever seen.

1. The Dark Knight for Best Picture and Christoper Nolan for Best Director: Come on. Even most of those who thought Christian Bale’s gravelly voice was obnoxious, that the movie was a half-hour too long, or who thought that The Dark Knight didn’t deserve to be our number one film of the year have to agree that it’s better than a couple of the Best Picture nominations (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, for instance). Why deny The Dark Knight simply because it was the more entertaining flick? It was also a masterpiece. At the very least, Nolan should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination; after all, he pulled that performance out of Ledger, and he orchestrated the greatest comic-book film of all time. Giving The Dark Knight the snub, unfortunately, completely obliterates the already sad perception most people have of the Academy Awards. It can’t be because it made so much money — after all, Titanic won everything, and is the biggest box-office grosser of all time, and The Dark Knight is a hell of a lot better than it was. There’s just no good reason to snub The Dark Knight and, especially, Nolan, except that the Academy refuses to be tainted by a comic-book film. Well, fuck ‘em.


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Comments

Let The Right One In was not submitted for Best Foreign Language film consideration; it was also not considered eligible for the Academy Awards as it did not appear on the reminder list of eligible films.

As a sign of ignorance? Sure. That works. It's not really a snub if it wasn't even allowed to be nominated anywhere.

Posted by: Robert at January 22, 2009 11:59 AM

Let The Right One In!!!!!!!

Let her in, dammit. Ignorance, snub, whatever--that is a fucking travesty.

Arg. I hate this system. It is almost as maddening as the BCS.

Posted by: boo at January 22, 2009 12:04 PM

There is a waitlist to get on the waitlist for Let The Right One In at my library, and that's just the book. I feel I should tell them to go ahead and order four copies when the movie comes out, because at LEAST 2 will never be seen again, with late and replacement fines merrily paid.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at January 22, 2009 12:04 PM

I wouldn't call Slumdog Millionaire a "safe" nomination - but I suppose it could be called predictable.

And I have to disagree with the overlook of TDK. It is a delicious movie, and Nolan is a great director, but I just don't see it as a best picture contender.

The missing Springsteen nomination just incomprehensible; I say that as a non-fan.

And I'm still anxious to see LTROI, The Wackness and a couple other films which haven't made it to my area. I'm sure I'll have to wait to PPV or rent.

Posted by: Cindy at January 22, 2009 12:05 PM

Leonardo DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road

Posted by: samantha t at January 22, 2009 12:06 PM

Sorry but no, Dark Knight was NOT the best movie.

I'm starting the backlash, right here, right now.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 22, 2009 12:08 PM

Has there ever been a year in which an actor/ess was nominated for both an oscar and a razzie?? Cause if Sir Ben got the nod, he would have gotten both noms for the same role.

Posted by: sevngang at January 22, 2009 12:11 PM

I agree Slim, but Titanic won. And Titanic was gayer than 8 dudes fucking 9 dudes. With one in the ear. The Dark Knight deserves a little love. Isn't that what we all want? Just a little recognition on a Thursday?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 22, 2009 12:13 PM

I'm disappointed that Tell No One wasn't submitted.

Posted by: emotionalpedant at January 22, 2009 12:21 PM

The Dark Night got the only nomination it deserved: Heath Ledger was phenomenal in it, but otherwise, the movie was just not that good.

Posted by: meghan at January 22, 2009 12:22 PM

Tell you what Optimus, throw in a couple o' lesbians and I will reconsider.


..midget, lesbians.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 22, 2009 12:22 PM

You just had to know that those half of fags in Hollywood where going to do the wrong thing. How on earth does "The Dark Knight" not be included in the best movie and best director category? I don't have anything against Bobby Downey Jr., but you can't tell me his role in "Tropical Thunder" was better than Ledger's "Joker."

Posted by: Pookie at January 22, 2009 12:25 PM

I think Bruce Springsteen disqualified himself when he decided to put "The Wrestler" on his new album. It was against the Academy rules or some shit.

Posted by: Jason at January 22, 2009 12:26 PM

"And Titanic was gayer than 8 dudes fucking 9 dudes. With one in the ear."

This is the most accurate review of
Titanic I've ever seen, Optimus.

Posted by: Patti at January 22, 2009 12:28 PM

Isn't that what we all want? Just a little recognition on a Thursday?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme

This reminds me of the exchange we had last Thursday during our steamy webcam chat, mon savage.

Optimus: Yo', take a look at this!
*drops pants*
Sofía: Oh. My. GOD!
Optimus: That's right, bitch, you better recognize!

And I did.

*stares at screencaps*

Posted by: Sofía at January 22, 2009 12:29 PM

saying, "He orchestrated the greatest comic-book film of all time," is a bit like creating the greatest 7-course PEZ meal of all time, isn't it?

Posted by: snowshine at January 22, 2009 12:30 PM

Ledger's performance alone made TDK one of the top 5 movies this year. Bale's voice was the only annoying part. Ledger's Joker was the most riviting acting job I have ever seen, and RDJ's performance was nearly as good. Barring a miraculous tie, I'm 51/49 in favor of the living person getting it.

Oh, and it's good that Ben Kingsley was in The Wackness and not his evil twin, Bem, who attempts to anusrape Ben's excellent work from your brain by making appearances in abortions like BloodRayne and The Love Guru.

Posted by: Kballs at January 22, 2009 12:43 PM

I've seriously stopped caring who wins the Oscars, or who is even nominated because they choose the most boring films every single year. They always get it wrong, I mean the Snowman lost best animated short to something else in the 80's, and that is the greatest thing I've seen, EVER. I cry still when the Snowman melts, too sad. Fuck the Oscars.

Posted by: Person at January 22, 2009 12:44 PM

kristin scott thomas for "i've loved you so long"
eddie marsan, BSA for "happy -go-lucky"

more proof that the oscars are a waste of time and thought.

Posted by: celery at January 22, 2009 12:51 PM

Sorry, but I have to speak from my music geek side for a moment...I think "They'll Remember You" from Valkyrie should have also been nominated for "Best Original Song". Whatever your opinion on the movie might be, it's still a very moving and beautiful song.

That having been said...

5. Rockwell is too awesome for the Academy. It'd be like giving Kiefer Sutherland a nomination for "Most God Like Character in the Universe"...they'd mess themselves with ejaculate and they'd embarass themselves on television worse than the time they gave Shakespeare in Love the Best Picture trophy. (Yes, I can hold a grudge.)

4. Thunderbirds and Bloodrayne after playing fucking Gandhi = enough reason NOT to give Sir Ben Kingsley an award for the next 10 years.

3. No excuse, and I'm tired of this muliple songs from one movie bullshit. They did it with Dreamgirls and lost, they did it with Enchanted and lost, and they can't learn the lesson that it shouldn't fucking happen. It should have been one Slumdog Song, the Wall-E song, The Wrestler, They'll Remember You, and The Little Things from Wanted (though it's nice to see Danny Elfman get some Oscar love this year).

2. Sweden pulled a Weinstein. They put up a picture they thought would fair better for them at the awards.

1. NO...FUCKING...EXCUSE! They could have dropped The Reader and Milk, both films that seem to be more like acting nomination showcases than best picture nominees, for Dark Knight.

Also, if The Soloist or The Road were both released on time, I think we'd be seeing them replace one of those films up there. I'm thinking The Soloist could have knocked The Reader out and given the Academy a LEGITIMATE reason to nominate Robert Downey Jr. (Sorry, Tropic Thunder has no place being at the Academy Awards. Keep that shit at the Golden Globes where it belongs.)

Posted by: Mike R. at January 22, 2009 12:53 PM

.......

ENOUGH about "Dark Knight" already!

Posted by: LadyM at January 22, 2009 12:54 PM

How about Michael Sheen for Frost/Nixon? Why isn't that man getting any respect? He was snubbed at the Globes too.

Posted by: Ginger at January 22, 2009 12:56 PM

What could your #1 be? Surprise, surprise. The internet is going to be rife with outraged film nerds today.

Sorry - I agree with the Academy. The Dark Knight is no snub, and it's not because it's a comic book film. It's just not great enough. I'll grant you it's better than Benjamin Button. I also think it's better than Frost/Nixon. I'll even grant that it's a very good movie. But to me it's just part of the morass that 2008 offered - lots of good movies with almost nothing transcendent. Thus, if none of the contenders are great, I don't really see it as a terrible disservice when one edges another.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 22, 2009 12:56 PM

Slim, Slim, Slim, you know that Ted's been leading the backlash since....what, August?

Personally I'm not interested in seeing "Let The Right One In", but if it leads some people to Morrissey and thus The Smiths that can't be a bad thing.

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2009 1:04 PM

Amen.

Posted by: Cindy at January 22, 2009 1:07 PM

Slim, Slim, Slim, you know that Ted's been leading the backlash since....what, August?

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2009 1:04 PM

*breaks bottle on bar*

WHAT!?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 22, 2009 1:10 PM

The Academy really fucking need to stop being a bunch of old ladies who won't allow the kids to play on their damned yards.

Dark Knight might not have been the greatest movie, but from what I hear, neither are ANY of the other nominees for Best Picture. Adding it to the top list could have not only brought in millions of viewers, but it could've also brought the Academy into the fucking 21st Century, or at least some relevance. I haven't seen any of the nominees, but aside from Slumdog, I don't particularly want to. The four look like horribly dark, depressing, boring movies that were made as nothing more than Oscar bait. What would've been the harm in adding ONE exciting, popular movie to the list, specially one that was LOVED by critics and fans alike?

Fucking bunch of old ladies. And I won't even get into how much Jolie's nomination pisses me off. Merryl Streep? JEEZ. BIG SURPRISE. Argh.

These will be the most boring Oscars ever.

OK. Getting off soapbox now. Grr.

Posted by: figgy at January 22, 2009 1:11 PM

Sofia... It's really starting to make me uncomfortable when you talk about Rhyme's kibbles in bits. Isn't he like, a 15-year-old?

I don't think Chris Hansen makes trips to Chile.

Also, Rowles I agree with you on the above junk; you're pretty smart except for this shit about accommodating West Coast time. Thanks for making my job excruciatingly boring again! Although, to be fair, I completely understand your reasoning. Even if you are a LeftCoast-ist appeasing Commie.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 1:11 PM

Well, you ALL overlooked my favorite movie, possibly of all time. It features America's sweetheart as she humbly tries to help the less fortunate wage a war against that untried, untrue sentiment, "Beauty is only skin deep." It was, in my opinion, an opus to everything our wonderful country is about. No, I don't speak of W, although that was a touching and in-depth look into one of the great minds of our time *wipes away single Denzel tear*, and I am not referencing that other piece of cinematic brilliance from 2008, M. Night's gorgeous litany to the evils of nature, The Happening. Truly, it could only be politics at work here. . .

They missed The Hottie and the Nottie.

I no longer have the will to live. In mainland America. Sarah, can I bunk with you? I can babysit while Bristol is finishing school.

Posted by: oob at January 22, 2009 1:14 PM

Yeah! you commie.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 22, 2009 1:15 PM

Oob don't joke like that, dude. It scares me and makes me want to punch somebody in the face.

I'm gonna go sob for Bruce Springsteen into my coffee now.

Posted by: Hulk_Figgy at January 22, 2009 1:15 PM

Personally I'm not interested in seeing "Let The Right One In", but if it leads some people to Morrissey and thus The Smiths that can't be a bad thing.

Good, Jay. One less person I have to elbow out of the way.

Posted by: boo at January 22, 2009 1:18 PM

everytime i see that photo from "let the right one in" i think it's darlene connor from "roseanne". like maybe she murdered her little brother DJ.

Posted by: glittergirl at January 22, 2009 1:27 PM

It's probably just as well Springsteen's song wasn't nominated. You know the Academy would have gotten someone like Antonia Banderas to sing it Pat Boone style.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 22, 2009 1:33 PM

it's ok Springsteen lovers, at least we will always have "Pink Cadillac"

Posted by: dylanj at January 22, 2009 1:37 PM

"And the award for Best Song goes to........Black Sabbath for Iron Man!"

Posted by: Dave at January 22, 2009 1:47 PM

Also, Rowles I agree with you on the above junk; you're pretty smart except for this shit about accommodating West Coast time.

Fine, how about we make this deal? You can have Pajiba be on EST, and California will stop exporting film and television to anywhere outside of the Pacific time zone. You want to know how Lost ends? Shhh. We'll never tell you.

Oh no he didn't. Oh yes he did.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 1:48 PM

Jay- I believe that you share my predilection to avoid movies that seem depressing, so I don't know if that's why you are not enthusiastic to see Let the Right One In, but I gotta tell you, that movie is absolutely worth seeing. I would describe it as haunting--it definitely sticks with you--rather than depressing (and this coming from someone for whom the main character really reminded her of her nephew, so some scenes were extra hard to take).

So, if you are at all sway-able, I really, really encourage you to see it. Preferably not alone, so that you have someone with whom to hash over your post-viewing questions.

Posted by: tamatha at January 22, 2009 2:13 PM

Dark Knight might not have been the greatest movie, but from what I hear, neither are ANY of the other nominees for Best Picture.

I don't know where you're hearing what you're hearing, but Slumdog Millionaire is completely worthy of Best Picture. I could not eat my popcorn. Do you hear me? I, who must have popcorn at any film no matter how full from dinner I am - and I, who will not share my movie popcorn - could not eat my popcorn. I put it down after the first few minutes and sat riveted.

Posted by: Cindy at January 22, 2009 2:18 PM

I fucking hated The Dark Knight.
And The Prestige.
Nolan can suck it.
There, I said it and I feel better.

Posted by: Courtie at January 22, 2009 2:20 PM

I meant the other 4! Slumdog is the only one I really want to watch. It sounds like the only fun one of the nominees. Frost/Nixon and Milk sound...interesting, but not terribly entertaining. I'm not much into biopics and such. The other two just sound...depressing. Good, but depressing.

I'll watch anything by Danny Boyle. He's my crush.

Posted by: figgy at January 22, 2009 2:33 PM

I don't know where you're hearing what you're hearing, but Slumdog Millionaire is completely worthy of Best Picture. I could not eat my popcorn.

you should have gotten the cotton candy. cotton candy is the perfect snack for that movie, lightweight, spun from hot air and full of empty calories.

in other words, a pleasant trifle, just like Slumdog Millionare.

Posted by: Soylent Green is Sheeple at January 22, 2009 2:34 PM

I'm surprised Aaron Eckhardt (sp?) didn't get any love for Harvey Dent in Batman. I thought he was as good or better than Ledger.

Posted by: Hoof Hearted at January 22, 2009 2:49 PM

I don't get the whole time zone thing, and I sure as hell ain't gonna google it, so somebody please explain this to me:

Are the posts coming later because the west coasters wanna be the first to comment or something? Are we stealing their sweet puns?

Posted by: Sofía at January 22, 2009 3:02 PM

No, not an avoidance of depressing, I'm just not interested in hearing that particular story. Doesn't mean it's not a great story that's really just about humanity, and all the best stories are, and I might enjoy it if we met. I'm just not drawn to it. A lot of the stuff is like what figgy said for me. I'm not quite as upset as she seems to be, but...to conjure Mr. Steven again, they say nothing to me about my life (not that I found "No Country For Old Men" entirely relatable, but it was a wry, creepy yarn and pretty good entertainment [even though it left me in existential distress by the end, necessitating some fried chicken and cornbread to stabilize myself]).

I think I'm gonna see "Frost/Nixon" Saturday afternoon with the rest of my Regal gift card. It's interesting, catty history. I'm glad that "The Dark Knight" at least got its technical nominations (and making an action movie with IMAX damn well better get Wally Pfister a televised win. That shit was hard work, cousin! And it leaves your pants wet on Blu-ray). Again, I haven't seen the other five, but I'm not convinced it lives in their shadow at this point. Oh, "Return of the King", were you that freaky an anomaly?

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2009 3:08 PM

I meant the other 4!...I'll watch anything by Danny Boyle.

Whew.

in other words, a pleasant trifle, just like Slumdog Millionare

"Pleasant" is hardly a word I'd use (nor trifle) to describe SM. If it wasn't your cup of tea, so be it - but attempting to minimize it is wasted effort.

Posted by: Cindy at January 22, 2009 3:10 PM

Are the posts coming later because the west coasters wanna be the first to comment or something?

Roughly, while the central and eastern have wandered away in boredom and frustration, wondering what the hell to do with their morning before they have to actually work in the afternoon. Mr. Spock would obviously not approve.

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2009 3:16 PM

Thank you for giving suggestions for aweseome movies!
Need to watch " Let the right one in " as soon as possible...

I really enjoy this site -

Marion

Posted by: Marion at January 22, 2009 3:17 PM

With all the messing up the academy's been doing, and all the undeserved backlash by Berets wearing cunt blisters, this is all I have to say in regard:

Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Posted by: George at January 22, 2009 3:33 PM

Fuck you, Dustin: Iron Man is the best comic book movie ever.

Posted by: hater from siloam springs at January 22, 2009 3:38 PM

I propose we do away with the West Coast altogether, give it back to Mexico or some shit I really don't care.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 22, 2009 3:53 PM

I really love my dad. Since you mention Batman, ever since I bought it for him, he's been talking in a Christian Bale intense whisper. About breakfast, about work, leaving intense whisper voicemails about visiting grandma. I also bought him Tommy Boy. On our way to dinner, he accidentally put on my mother's jacket. Instead of taking it off, he did the "fat guy in a little coat" dance. It's official. My dad is pretty awesome.

He's 60 by the way.

Posted by: Porkchop at January 22, 2009 4:10 PM

Can we just give "The Dark Knight" the Pajiba greatest f***ing thing ever to happen to cinema in the history of ever award and be DONE WITH IT?!?! PLEASE??? How many more posts like this do we need? WE GET IT! Pajiba LOVES "The Dark Knight." For Chrissakes, shut the f*** up, already!!!

Posted by: jimbob at January 22, 2009 4:39 PM

No.

Posted by: YOU_shut_up at January 22, 2009 4:47 PM

The west coast thing was simply a request by west coasters not that the entire site be delayed three hours to piss off you east coasters, but just that the posts be spaced out a bit so that they encompassed more of the west coast business day also.

Case in point: before the kindly switch, I would get to work at 9am PST (noon east coast), by which point 2/3 of the daily posts would already be up and have had their comment threads run their course. There would only be about three or four more posts coming that I would have an opportunity to fully participate in the thread.

So, thank you Dustin on behalf of the west coasters who can now fully participate in the site. East coasters bitching: simmer down, take a drink, realize that more people being able to participate means better discussions. Nothing special is being taken away from you.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 5:36 PM

Oh, stipe42. May I call you Stipey? I may? Oh, thank you.

Here's the rub: We know it sucks for y'all that you come in a little late in the party and you have to play catch up while we've already finished our cocktails... But I'm at work at 8am EST! Pajiba is my antidote for boredom!

Basically, I'm pulling a Mariah Carey and making this shit about me. Excuse me while I boink my (proofthatIhaveissueswithgrowingup) husband and write in my Hello Kitty Diary.

Hugs and Kisses,
KaKa!

(Honestly, I don't care, it's just fun to start some east coast/west coast shit. And it kind of makes me sad that the number of comments has seemed to decrease.) /honesty

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 5:57 PM

I just realized my "MiMi" inspired nickname could be pronounced "Caca," as opposed to "KayKay," making it that much easier to laugh at my immaturity. Please do so at will.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 5:59 PM

Someone who hasn't seen Happy-Go-Lucky doesn't know the biggest snub of all is to Eddie Marsan. At least Sally Hawkins has her Golden Globe.

Posted by: Sarah at January 22, 2009 6:10 PM

Someone who hasn't seen Happy-Go-Lucky doesn't know the biggest snub of all is to Eddie Marsan. At least Sally Hawkins has her Golden Globe.

Posted by: Sarah at January 22, 2009 6:11 PM

KayKay, you may of course call me Stipey, but only if used with my full title: "Herr Maestro", as in "Herr Maestro Stipey".

Obviously the solution to satisfy all concerned parties is to double or triple the number of daily posts (which I know has already happened once in the last year or so, but exponential times call for exponential growth).

The problem is that this might leave the lovely amongst the east coasters satiated by the time us vigorous west coasters have a chance to enter the fray. The geographic divide would be heart-rending, like a bitter divorce.

Of course, we'd have to flip a coin to see who got custody of Pookie.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 6:12 PM

Herr Maestro Stipey, I would never dream of divorcing the West Coast, we have too much history! Louis & Clark, the gold rush, the invention of the suburbs, In-N-Out. Plus, I'd like to be able to work there someday, now that I'm a graduate (four days pending).

Plus, who would we date? Canada? The Mid-West? No, no, West Coast. We may ogle the UK every once in a while, but we've seen you scoping out the Pacific Ring enough times that it should have evened out by now. West Coast, it's you and me forever, sweetie. Until the bloody civil war of 3028 tears us apart.

XOXOXOX, Your Wife for Life,
East Coast

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 6:33 PM

, good question! I don't know about actors but I seem to remember Aerosmith's song "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" was nominated for both Best Song at the Oscars and Worst Original Song at the Razzies. I wish I could think of others.

Meanwhile, I really enjoyed the Springsteen snub! Not to be antagonistic, or anything.

Posted by: Caspar at January 22, 2009 6:37 PM

sevngang, good question! I don't know about actors but I seem to remember Aerosmith's song "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" was nominated for both Best Song at the Oscars and Worst Original Song at the Razzies. I wish I could think of others.

Meanwhile, I really enjoyed the Springsteen snub! Not to be antagonistic, or anything.

Posted by: Caspar at January 22, 2009 6:37 PM

[i]Doubt[/i] deserves a nomination for Best Picture. It's frightening that I'm the first one to suggest that. Though I will be satisfied if Streep and Viola Davis win. Which won't happen.

And yeah, [i]The Wackness[/i] deserved some love but that is not a picture that would catch hold with the Academy. Assholes.

Posted by: harrogate at January 22, 2009 6:38 PM

Ah, shit.

Posted by: Caspar at January 22, 2009 6:40 PM

Dearest KayKay, ah mistress East Coast, princess of the Atlantic, fire of our Pacific loin. The Pacific Rim may tempt our soul, Europe may pull at your heart, but we are joined for eternity. A thousand years would not suffice to forget the moment we cast Mexico aside and you pulled away from Canada's grasp. Us two coasts met at sunrise that day, and the earth trembled at our passion. The Great Plains we hammered flat, and the course of our love tossed the Rockies and Appalachians up like discarded sheets. We grow older now, age cooling the fire, but not extinguishing the embers. Oh no, timezones mean naught to lovers such as us great coasts. Let us forget our harsh words now, and watch the tides roll in and out on both of our shores.

'til the end of the world,
West Coast

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 6:47 PM

The Great Plains we hammered flat, and the course of our love tossed the Rockies and Appalachians up like discarded sheets. We grow older now, age cooling the fire, but not extinguishing the embers. Oh no, timezones mean naught to lovers such as us great coasts. Let us forget our harsh words now, and watch the tides roll in and out on both of our shores.

As always, West Coast, thank you for warming us in these frigid winters.

Meet you at Ol' Faithful Tonight.
(Insert your own "Things are gonna get wet" joke here)
East Coast

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 6:52 PM

(Insert your own "Things are gonna get wet" joke here)

I think this entire extended metaphor leaves Chicago as the wet spot. And I'm okay with that.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 6:57 PM

So, the West Coast wants to get blown away in the Windy City. I gotta get me some ChapStick.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 7:02 PM

No need for chapstick, Just dip your lips in the mighty Mississip'

But we'd never leave our East Coast high and dry, so what I mean is that we won't be the only ones feeling the earth quake.

If you catch my continental drift.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 7:10 PM

Sorry it took me so long to respond, Herr Maestro Stipey, but that was too good. I bow to your superior ability to make awesome geographical innuendo.

Now, let's get latitudinal.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 7:29 PM

*Puts on some Barry White*

Come here East Coast, enough talking ...

*rivers are tossed from their beds, hills crack open, bays slosh onto cities*

Oh yeah ...

*hands reach lower*

What's this?

*steps back, looks at Florida*

I ... I don't understand ... you're a dude

*shudders a tsunami towards Hawaii*

No. I don't want to talk about it, East Coast.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 7:38 PM

I ... I don't understand ... you're a dude

Land mass is land mass, West Coast!

Besides, yours is the Baja Peninsula! Don't be hating because what I got is real big and yours is on loan from Mexico! You don't even have your own land mass, bitch.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 7:50 PM

You said that didn't matter to you, you slut!

Oh and that acid rain I gave you that I said was just an allergic reaction? Yeah, I picked that up from Korea's ass.

Oh and remember those tidal waves that rocked Indonesia back into the stone age a couple years back? That was me. Turns out I've got the motion of the ocean down fine, you're just frigid!

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 8:03 PM

My mother told me not to marry a man who was full of so many fault lines! I could have been with someone who appreciated my kind of experience.

In fact, You know who doesn't think I'm frigid? France and Italy, you hippy. They loved my interpretation of politics and are impressed with my Southern Gothic literature's attempt at tragedy. That and they're much more experienced in the foreign tongue.

Plus, they're man enough to handle me!

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 8:15 PM

Fault lines? You didn't seem to mind them when they were shaking your bedrock.

I'm so sick of your European fetish. When Britain gave you that black eye a couple centuries ago, who'd you come crawling back to? That's right, me. Go ahead, let those older nations use you again. They're laughing at you behind your back; they think you're just dressing up like an adult nation. I won't be there to put you back together when they get bored of you again.

I just don't need this sort of crap from a relationship. I'm young, good looking and rich, and honestly honey you've got grey showing in your littoral scrub. Go have your fun being Europe's little slut, I'm just going to hang out at the Pacific Ocean, catch some sun, surf a little, and bang all the frisky Asian tigers I can get my hands on.

I wish I never met you,
West Coast

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 8:30 PM

Wish you had never met me!?! I made you, you poorly equipped manwhore. And I will have fun being Europe's little slut. They know how I like it and I don't have to fake it!

Also, Texas is not your baby.

I'm calling my lawyer,
East Coast

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 8:44 PM

Made me? Yeah, that's right you're old enough to be my mom.

Faked it? I knew when you were faking, and I never cared.

And I knew Texas wasn't mine, since I set up a hidden camera to see if you were screwing Mexico behind my back. Oops, that just went up on YouTube. Oh double oops, I just emailed the link to your whole family. I get that Mexico is kind of ruggedly handsome, but why'd you let him take a dump on your mountains when he was done?

Remember how I was late to the hospital when Texas was born? And so was your sister Quebec? That's because we were fucking. In your parents' bed. While they watched.

Texas ain't my kid and overall you actually make more money than me. You know what that means? Yeah, the alimony gravy train goes straight to San Francisco. I think I'll spend it all on buying pretty things for Thailand.

Love and kisses,
West Coast

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 9:07 PM

*lights cigarette*

Whew, it's been legendary, Kayanne, but I just got off work and am going to go sit in traffic. You get the last word, if you like.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 22, 2009 9:08 PM

I get that Mexico is kind of ruggedly handsome, but why'd you let him take a dump on your mountains when he was done?

*sigh* Once again, just because they do it in porn doesn't mean I'm game. And you'd better get used to the hookers in Nevada, your "Asian Tigers" are more interested in what's going on with my NASDAQ than your old hat silicon valley shit.

That's right, sweetie, I wouldn't go for a three-way while we were together, but now I'm gonna be all up on Japan and China just to spite you. We'll be exchanging more than stock while you're trying to drown your sorrows on your old college buddy's shoulder. You always said Amsterdam had the best shit and that's why you two were so close, but I know about your "experimental phase."

-East Coast
(Can't wait to make up, sugar!)

Posted by: Kayanne at January 22, 2009 9:27 PM

not that the entire site be delayed three hours to piss off you east coasters, but just that the posts be spaced out a bit

No, Dustin said they would shift the whole schedule forward two hours, and they basically did. Is that not what you asked for? Mr. Spock is still disapproving!

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2009 9:58 PM

Let the Right One In is one the best movies I've seen in years. I finally saw Slumdog tonight and loved it as well.

Speaking of foreign films, when is the review for Timecrimes coming out? I saw it Tuesday night and thought it was amazing. Brilliant pacing and storytelling.

Posted by: Sharon at January 22, 2009 10:22 PM

Dammit you lucky girl Sharon! I can't wait to see Timecrimes, but I'll bet I have to wait for the DVD.

Posted by: Cindy at January 22, 2009 10:29 PM

Good Christ all Mighty, I cannot believe the bitching Dustin is gettin on the time zone thing. OHHH, it makes my job boring having to wait, fuck off. I would love a job to be bored at....Fuck. Dustin...adjust it once more and split the difference between Mountain and Central and if anyone bitches give them the one finger salute.

Posted by: richmac at January 22, 2009 11:09 PM

RDJ deserved to be nominated for Ironman.

Posted by: Ben at January 23, 2009 1:04 AM

dustin, how do you pen a " snubs " list without having seen " the wrestler "? here's another comparison for you. " the wrestler " is far better than the manipulative " million dollar baby " which incomprehensibly won the top prize. must have had friends at price waterhouse. seriously, go watch mickey rourke and weep for all of the things he didn't accomplish.

Posted by: snake at January 23, 2009 1:38 AM

From the clips, I suspected that Heath Ledger's DK performance was a slice of ripe ham. At last I saw it, and imagine my surprise when I found yes, it was. It spread the influence of suckage over the whole movie; which is a pity, because there was a lot to like. I'd have liked Nolan to get something. Too soon for a career Oscar?tm

Furthermore, Heath was not a great actor, at least at his youngish age. Sometimes he wasn't even good one.

My local theatre billed TDK for fully three weeks as "The Dark Night", until somebody finally pointed it out to management. It doesn't speak well for the fans of this movie.

Posted by: Janis at January 23, 2009 4:55 AM


I said it before and I'll say it forever: The Dark Knight deserved both Best Picture and Best Director Oscars.


No disrespect to the rest of the list, much of which, due to release idiosyncracies where Il ive, I have not seen.


And I'm actually quite happy that David Fincher and Danny Boyle will be in the running. They deserve recognition. But Nolan, and TDK, deserve it more, in my opinion.

Posted by: karstark at January 23, 2009 6:25 AM

Did you just call the Joker a ham?

Posted by: Jay at January 23, 2009 8:40 AM

I liked the four Best Picture nominees I saw (haven't seen The Reader yet) but Benjamin Button was far and away my favorite.

As for TDK, the only outstanding thing about that movie was Heath Ledger's performance. Otherwise it was just another action flick based on a comic book, better than most but not as good as others. (Except for Heath, I preferred Batman Begins.) Frankly IMO Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal turned in mediocre performances.

Posted by: teresam at January 23, 2009 9:16 AM

Michael Fassbender, best actor for his work in Hunger.

Posted by: Lorena at January 23, 2009 9:31 AM

God, I thought the Dark Knight was awful. Aside from the obligatory "Heath Ledger was amazing blah blah blah" it's a pretty mediocre movie all around. This is coming from a huge comic book fan who generally enjoys comic book movies. But no, no way should the Dark Knight even be considered for a best picture.

Posted by: G at January 23, 2009 12:35 PM

I didn't like The Dark Knight all that much, but I'm surprised it didn't get nominated for Best Picture. It seems like every year they nominate a movie that had somewhat of a mass appeal, to keep the ratings up for the telecast and all that. That's why those Lord of the Rings movies were nominated (and one of them actually won) Best Picture. Same with Titanic, and Gladiator, and so many others that didn't deserve it... Not that those movies aren't entertaining at all, because they were a bit entertaining, but seriously...

Actually, maybe Benjamin Button is this year's example of that.

I agree about Sam Rockwell though. He rocks.

Posted by: Below Average Hope at January 23, 2009 12:47 PM

Towelhead was also pretty fantastic, I just watched it. Aaron Eckhart had a disturbing turn I must say. But the main girl! She was phenomenally beautiful, innocent and wonderful! (the remorse shown in the one of the final scenes alone is just amazing, and what happens next is actually funny in a weird way). Everyone else was great! I mean, I know there's no way in hell it would have been nominated, but I think it was a great, awkward as hell movie and everyone here should watch it even though some Pajiba critics don't think it's up to snuff. And ENOUGH with The Dark Knight already! I know it appeals to all the dweebs on here but please...Eckhart and Ledger were standout performances, but I don't think it even was a contender for either category really.

Posted by: ph at January 24, 2009 3:30 AM

Still no love for Gomorrah in foreign film section. It's clear no one here has seen this Italian masterpiece.

I think Iron Man and The Dark Knight should have both been in the best picture list (can you imagine two comic book movies nominated for best picture!?). Although Heath Ledger makes an already great movie wonderful, I think Iron Man was cooler and more fist pumpingly awesome! I wouldn't have cared that much who won it as long as they got nominated. Instead we're getting a Forrest Gump remake *yawn*

Posted by: barf at January 24, 2009 12:13 PM

Sally Hawkins was amazing amazing amazing in Happy-Go-Lucky (so good she should have been nominated 3 times). She was the one person I desperately wanted to get a nomination. So sad that she didn´t. Since you didn´t see the movie, I recommend that you do. I would be shocked if you don´t think she was maaaaaajorly overlooked for the nomination. Otherwise, no really big surprises. Slumdog Millionaire is waaaay overrated though. Interesting, but not great. The nomination should have gone to the Dark Knight instead.

Posted by: Tallsonofagun at January 25, 2009 7:29 AM

Maybe France did not submit Tell no one because it came out some four years ago...

Posted by: Candie at March 5, 2009 5:07 PM