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15 TV Villains Out of Whom You Want to Hate F**k The Evil

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | August 16, 2012 | Comments ()


Evil Willow -thumb-500x375-40137.jpeg

Thomas Barrow, Downton Abbey

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Saffron, Firefly

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Khol Drago, Game of Thrones

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Gaius Baltar/Number Six, Battlestar Galactica

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Eric Northman, True Blood

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Nina Myers, 24

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Ava Moore, Nip/Tuck

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Stringer Bell, The Wire

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Wilhelmina Slater, Ugly Betty

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Captain John Hart, Torchwood

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Kira, Star Trek

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Sylar, Heroes

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Jim Moriarity, Sherlock

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Darla, Drusila, Evil Willow, pre-chip Spike, Lilah Morgan, Half of the Characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel

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The Master, Doctor Who

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Ivana Cvetanovic

    Kira's not a villain, though Mirror Kira was. But speaking of DS9... I've had many a sinful, embarrassing thought about Gul Dukat. Those Cardassian uniforms...

  • Shreela

    Craig Parker as Darken Rahl (Legend of the Seeker), Claudius Glaber (Spartacus), and Lucius (Zena). And not evil as Haldir (Lord of the Rings elf) and Sabas (Underworld lycan).

    Lani Tupu as Crais (Farscape) too (back in the day).

  • Pat

    Thank you for the Moriarty inclusion. He always seems to be overlooked when it comes to fuckability.

  • Hawkeye Fierce

    No Newman? Odd. . .

    Chris Meloni on Oz was such an odious, amoral, and incredibly sexy beast. It is conflicting, but I've just accepted that I'm messed up and moved on. Probably half the cast of Oz could count in this category.

  • funtime42

    Alex Krycek - that was one beautiful badass bad boy...

  • DeadBessie

    Seconded. The leather, the stubble, the low, husky voice, the intense stare...

    If only the writers had Mulder hook up with Krycek instead of Scully.

  • Tammy

    Alex Kyrcek is not on this list. Your argument is invalid.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Nope. Still too scared of Moriarty to get anywhere near him and the garrotte you just know he keeps handy. Now, Martin Keamy... Who's with me?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Plus a big yes to Stringer Bell and Khol Drogo.

  • dancegrooves

    agent stahl from sons of anarchy

  • Redtuna

    If you want to bring in a GOT hate monkey - why not go to the ever loveable but ridiculously despicable Theon Greyjoy - now there's a boy who could use some rough love.

  • $27019454

    Thomas from Downton Abbey has that thin, reedy voice that makes fucking just...unthinkable.

    I'm either insanely shallow or very very choosey.

    Or both.

  • I'm not gay, but even if I was there's still no way I'd do Thomas Barrow. He's an insipid weasel. But if Khol Drago suggested a 3way with his wife I might just give a little to get a little.
    (but I think I'd be safe, I'm pretty sure Drago don't play dat...)

  • Ballymena Bob

    You know, I think I prefer Pajiba when the articles are funny or interesting and a little less rapey. Call me old-fashioned.

  • If you are going to pick a bangable villain from Downton, it should be Sir Richard. Helloooooo, Iain Glen!

  • Guest

    I was going to whinge about how much I hate the term "hate fuck," and then I saw Drogo and Baltar, and, well... I mean, I actually don't hate either of them, but I'm too distracted to lecture anyone now. Dammit, Dustin.

  • Tammy

    Yeah, "hate fuck" is pretty problematic, Beloved Overlords. Like, the kind of thing actual sexual predators say to victims when they assault them. [And yeah, I have some really disturbing real-life backup for that that I am not going to get into.] Use whatever terms you want, by all means, but just make sure you know what kind of baggage certain phrases can carry - Knowing is Half The Battle, right?

  • Ash

    Angelus, Pete Campbell, Loki...

  • Sarah

    I would let Jim Moriarity burn the heart out of me, if you know what I mean.

  • If we're going with Game of Thrones I'd pick Jaime Lannister. Whether he's an actual villain or not...well, whatever. He counts!

  • WarLord

    speaking as a guy here. put Prince Joffery on the list; I'm straight, but I think most women wouldn't mind him. Me, I'd like to take a sniper rifle and end him.

  • I seriously don't know a single woman who thinks he's attractive. It doesn't help that he looks 12 years old.

  • $27019454

    He tried to kill a kid. He's fucked up. I hate him. I hate me. I'm confused.

  • He ALWAYS counts.

  • Seany D

    Kira and Drogo aren't evil. Still want to get down with Kira. But she's not evil.

  • Kate at June

    Ew! Ew, ew, ew,! Hate Fuck Moriarty? With that VOICE!? No. Uh uh. Nope.

  • Guest

    Sherlock's standing right there, so... Moriarty WHO?

  • Maguita NYC

    Beyond Evil Hate F-ck, this brings up other lists that should be elaborated.

    Like the Disturbing as F-ck, F-ck list (Joffrey Lannister?), The One You Would Never F-ck list (Charlie Sheen), and the one where people would be always ashamed to admit to, The Absolute Shame F-ck list (uh-uh!)

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    Logan Echolls.

  • Kate at June

    Villain? really?

  • competitivenonfiction

    remember that time he almost curb stomped someone? I totally get the love for Logan, but he is one of those people who will do anything for the people he loves, but nothing for the people he doesn't.

  • Kate at June

    I don't remember, but agree that he can be a total asshat and sometimes terrible person. But the title of villain doesn't seem to fit as well as he's not evil and at least by the third season, isn't out to do bad. Hot Asshat, though very appropriate.

  • bleujayone

    But who would you marry or kill?

  • Bandit

    I can't find Willow even remotely sexy or alluring. That stupid heavy breathing thing she does is annoying as fuck. Also, evil Willow is so cheesy, I smell stilton whenever she appears.

    Spike is really skeevy. I'd hit it, but probably feel deeply ashamed afterwards.

    Wilhelmina Slater, on the other hand, is sinfully sexy.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Oh and Olivia D'abo on Law & Order Criminal Intent. Absolutely.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Good Godtopus, yes.

    It's way hotter when I'm a little scared for my life the whole time. That's normal, right?

  • Phaedre

    Ok, now that I have thought about it some more: How about Lucius Malfoy. I can't remember the actor's name right now but he was on Awake this year. Anyway, that is one evil dude I would hate fuck the evil right out of. And he is, you know acutally evil.
    Not a horse lord or the second in command of a space station.
    And why are there no pictures of Whedon evil people except for Lilah?

  • MissAmynae

    Jason Isaacs...Yesssss.... or his character in The Patriot. Awful movie, but worth watching just for luscious Lucius.

  • winged chorus

    When I first started reading Potter (aged 11 or something) I believed Lucius was pronounced 'luscious'. I persisted in the belief for about 5 years. True story.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I would also be in favour of getting a second shot at him as Captain Hook.

  • foolsage

    Jason Isaacs? Good call.

  • Maguita NYC

    No one from Spartacus? Not even Gaius Claudius Glaber, in all his bloodied naked gory-glory...
    http://spartacus.wikia.com/wik...

  • lowercase_ryan

    How do you include KhAl Drogo (not a villain) but leave Cersei Lannister (villain) off the list? You confuse me ser.

  • Stellamaris2012

    Really? You put half the villains of the Buffy-verse but don't include a photo of Fillion?? For shame.

  • MissAmynae

    Captain Hammer!! Seriously, wasn't he the REAL villain?!

  • chanohack

    That picture of The Master makes me purr. Also, my computers and things run a lot slower ever since Dustin discovered GIFs.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Also, my computers and things run a lot slower ever since Dustin discovered GIFs.

    And fucking Disqus.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    Disqus is the work of The Devil. It makes sense that The Devil would enjoy intentional misspellings (disqus v discuss), slow running computers, and the furor caused by up and down votes.

  • tatertot

    Ray Wise as The Devil on "Reaper".

    Barely half the characters on this list qualify as "evil". And a couple, like Kira and Khal Drogo, weren't even antagonists on their shows. Would you like to try again?

  • rockthecaspar

    Oh Zachary Quinto, be still my beating heart. I said heart.

  • David Sorenson

    Alice Morgan from Luther isn't on this list, and you include lightweights like Kira from DS9 and Khol Drogo who can't be a villain because he killed Viserys Targaryen.

    Go stand in the corner and think about what you've done.

  • Phaedre

    So right! Half the people on this list aren't villains anyway!

  • David Sorenson

    I know. You can toss the Whedonverse villains.right out of the gate. Drogo doesn't count. Sylar went anti-hero before I stopped caring about the show. Six went goody. Gaius was just a weasel. Saffron was more mischievous than villainous. Kira's out.

    I'm not judging this on who's f**kable because if I were Willow would be on the damn list. These people just aren't particularly villainous. Somebody needs to go all Barney Hinson and draw us an hot/evil scale chart. Complete with Alice Morgan line!

  • Vi

    OooOoh do a movie one next!

    I nominate Alan Rickman!

  • Maguita NYC

    Joaquim Phoenix! Preferably as Commodus.
    Yes, always best when they're that f-cked-up...

  • $27019454

    He vexes me.

  • Hawkeye Fierce

    I'm terribly vexed.

    Throwing my vote in to a list for film as well. Because what is life without some useless pondering about fictional people I'll never get to fuck?

    MEANINGLESS--that's what.

    Film would be hard to pin down to one character, for some. Like, could you just do a blanket nom for Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons?

    Off the toppa my head:
    -Second Mr. Rickman and Mr. Phoenix.
    -Jeremy Irons from Die Harderer Vengefully OR Reversal of Fortune. (Even Bald!Irons is amazing).
    -Tom Hiddleston as Loki. (According the the interwebz, Tom Hiddleston as anything, actually)
    -Magneto. McKellan and Fassbender.

    And you know what? I'll just stop now before I embarrass myself further.

  • Eva

    I have never, ever thought of Khal Drogo as evil! Animalistic, sure (and swoon!!) but evil, no. Good call on Moriarity from Sherlock. I hadn't thought about it really until this post, but I could definitely see that happening.

  • $27019454

    Yes. Must have rough sex for days. Now. Rough. Now.

  • foolsage

    Absolutely agreed. Khal (not Khol, or even kohl, though I'll grant he uses a lot of eyeliner) Drogo wasn't evil; he was just Dothraki. He came from and exemplified a culture of raiding and pillaging, but he wasn't cruel, nor did he desire to harm others.

  • linny

    Agreed re: Drogo. He was rather brutal towards the Sheep people, but villain? Not necessarily.

  • alwaysanswerb

    Not all of these would even be *hate* fucks

  • Kira isn't a villain. Mirror Kira is, however.

    Please leave the picture.

  • BWeaves

    Spike, yes. Capt. John Hart, not so much. But it was nice to see Marsters on here twice.

    No Caleb? Or is he included in the Buffy bunch?

    The Master, yes! Can we throw Derek Jacobi in there, too?

  • Maguita NYC

    I want to upvote this 1 thousand!

    How can one forget Caleb! That righteous evil man would be more intense than all the 7 signs of the Apocalypse combined. And however long it would take to f-ck the evil out of him, I am so up (down?) for the job!
    Misogynist sermons afterwards and all.

  • WarLord

    well he is played by Nathon freaking Fillon

  • hasta

    Kira was a goody in DS9. Mirror Universe Intendent Kira however, was basically what Vamp!Willow was ripped off from. Anyway, they can all send the Defiant through my wormhole.

  • Phaedre

    God I love a good DS9 dirty joke!

  • Oh, Sylar. *sigh*

    That Moriarty gif is cracking me up.

  • NateMan

    I don't want to screw the evil out of them. That would defeat the purpose, since the evil is half of their sexy. I wouldn't mind putting a bit more into them, however.

  • emmelemm

    +1

  • Maguita NYC

    Khal Drogo!

    As long as he doesn't talk, just grunts, like one Miss Smoke and Mirrors always says, he can #Occupymyvagina anytime.

  • Kristina

    Threeway with Boyd and Ava Crowder? (if we consider them villains)

  • jmd

    Aww, Spike makes me happy. And, um, Khal Drogo (it's his title), Game of Thrones not Rocky - though Ivan Drago might have been a candidate for the list too.

  • roodle

    umm its khal drogo and he wasnt evil. he was a horselord damnit!

  • Artemis

    He did buy a child bride and then rape her (TV version) and spent most of his time killing random peasants. He's likeable the way Spike is likeable: despite himself.

  • fracas

    The Dothraki don't buy or sell, they receive gifts. And they were in love (eventually).

  • roodle

    well, she was his bride after all...

  • Artemis

    This is a joke, right? I don't want to consider the alternative.

  • KatSings

    James Marsters is on here twice and that makes me smile. Also, I hate Thomas WAY too much for hate fucking. Otherwise, solid list.

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