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11 Crappiest Movies of Susan Sarandon’s Career

By Agent Bedhead | Seriously Random Lists | June 20, 2012 | Comments ()


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Nearly four decades of film work stand in awe of the moment that the world first witnessed Susan Sarandon in her first feature film role, and the actress is as glorious as ever. Still, she has appeared in many crappy films, and here are the top eleven picks:

Speed Racer: In an amusing twist, the Wachoswki brothers nearly instantaneously destroyed nearly all of the good will generated by the Matrix and its (unworthy) progeny. Such a shame.

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The Lovely Bones: Remember when nearly every critic believed (during production) that this would be an Oscar-worthy flick? Ha.

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Compromising Positions: Pure suburbia. Pure cheese. Pure crap.

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Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps: Dare I say that Oliver Stone went for the lure of the almighty dollar when accepting the gig of directing this sequel? How ironic.

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The January Man: Some might call this movie "misunderstood," but they neglect to mention its abundant plot holes.

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Stepmom: This was ultimately a very depressing movie that filmmakers tried (sort of hard) to balance with the (nonexistent) charm of Julia.

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Cats & Dogs: If you've seen this movie, then you understand why it made the list. Enough said.

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The Banger Sisters: Oh Susan. Oh Goldie. Oh crap.

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Shall We Dance: Here stands yet another unnecessary Hollywood remake.

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Elizabethtown: This movie made me want to climb into the fabled Murdertank and run over all Manic Pixie Dream Girls in manner of Mr. Bill.

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Mr. Woodcock: Billy Bob Thornton's talent was wasted on this forgettable variant on his "sociopath charms the world" theme ... not to mention the abilities of Sarandon as well.

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Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Kobie

    I would have found a place for "Rocky Horror" on this list. That movie utterly sucks.

  • Princess Di

    Elizabethtown was absolutely terrible! The Banger Sisters was fun.

  • The Banger Sisters is such a warm and gooey guilty pleasure, babe.

  • Ash

    Phew. The Alfie remake didn't make the list.

  • Guest

    I thought the Lovely Bones was well received?

    I liked the January Man, but I'm a sucker for Kevin Kline. and maybe it hasnt aged well?

    I cant stand Susan Sarandon. If she has more than a small peripheral role in a movie, it usually ruins it for me regardless of other merits.

  • Redtuna

    Wow - and Stanley Tucci ( who is fabulous 87.9% of the time) is in two of these....Interesting that the Sarandon/Tucci pairing is so much fail, and yet the Streep/Tucci pairing is so enjoyable.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    She was the best part of the Lovely Bones.

  • mona_sterling

    So, Susan Sarandon, Don Johnson, Elizabeth Perkins, and Jeff Daniels were in this stinker called Sweetheart's Dance that I can't take my eyes off if I ever run across it on Encore Love or whatever. Please tell me someone else has seen this thing.

  • llp

    I have - it is strangely compelling.

  • mona_sterling

    Ah, thank you.

  • Green Lantern

    Bedhead,

    You obviously were never a fan of "Speed Racer". Loved the show growing up, and thought the movie was a *perfect* live-action adaptation. Yes, even with Sarandon appearing doing very little as "Mom Racer", because that's the character.

  • I love The Banger Sisters. I've never seen the movie of course. Looks terrible. But hearing Arnold Schwarzenegger say the name during the announcement for some award nominations still makes me smile.

    "Thuh Banguh Sistuhs!!"

  • Penelope

    I am one of the few who liked Elizabethtown. Yes, I very much am aware
    of all its faults but there are scenes that manage to keep it from
    sinking under them. Like when Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst have that
    amazing conversation over the phone but fail to capture that
    magic/become shy around each other upon driving halfway to meet- that's
    something that's honest and true and that I've experienced myself. Susan
    Sarandon's tap dance to Moon River as a tribute to her dead husband was beautiful and resonated deeply with my mother when she saw the film. Bloom
    taking a roadtrip with his father's ashes was great as well. But most of
    all, when I saw the film for a second time, I was much more receptive
    to it as I had just experienced a tremendous work failure and taking
    solace in the film via identifying with Bloom's failed shoes coupled
    with also mourning a family member's loss gave me the clarity to see
    Crowe's vision and a film that, despite Kirsten Dunst's annoying as hell
    Manic Pixie Dream girl, fed the part of me that was awakened by Almost
    Famous. It brought me back to myself which, while incredibly cheesy
    sounding, still rings true every time I watch the film.

    Stepmom had some great moments too- Julia Roberts coaching Jenna Malone on how to burn that Home Improvement dude, Ain't No Mountain High Enough, and yes, that goodbye scene at the end. After my grandmother died, I made my mom a picture quilt like the one in the movie and 11 years later, she still sleeps with it every night.

  • linny

    the clip where a dying Sarandon says goodbye to her kids is used as a standard manipulation of sadness induction in Psychology research. Like it's just widely understood that if you want to get people unbearably sad in five minutes, you just pop in that scene, and BANG! Instant sadness.

  • linny

    in Stepmom, I should say.

  • Devin McMusters

    Stepmom is a guaranteed lay. I'll sit through it with my wife any day.

  • no one

    Me too.

  • e jerry powell

    Given the sheer volume of Sarandon's cinematic output, I'd think there are surely more that could be added to/swapped out for these titles, especially given that she's in That's My Boy.

  • While Shall We Dance? is not a good movie, I really liked Sarandon in it. She came off as a a good person who was way more understanding than her husband deserved.

  • hass16

    Does Kevin Klein look more like Robin Williams in The January Man poster?

  • Speed Racer was funny, hyperactive, and hallucinogenic. Not a terrible movie - probably too focused on its target market.

  • Thomas Crane

    I liked Speed Racer quite a bit. Maybe in context that's her 11th worst film, but I don't think that was a bad movie by any stretch.

  • Sassafrass Green

    I unabashedly love Speed Racer. It's fun, goofy, gorgeously done-up and pure camp. People who complain about the lack of plot forget that the show had even less.

  • The opening of Speed Racer is an amazing way to set up each character and give the back story you need to know. Speed Racer is a live action cartoon set in a world that can only exist in movies. It is awesome.

  • RudeMorgue

    Speed Racer is great. Faithful to the source. Much, much better than the source, in fact. Fun, weird, and unironically awesome.

  • ed newman

    Absolutely. Jay and I have been banging the drum around here on Speed Racer since it came out. Glad to see others coming to the party. I don't know if I have ever seen a filmmaker(s) realize his(their) vision as fully as was achieved here. The masses didn't get it, but it was the perfect adaptation of the source material. Better than the source, as you say.

  • DarthCorleone

    Elizabethtown has a few excellent moments, but unfortunately it's not good.

    I must admit some affection for January Man, but revisiting would probably reveal that I was deluded.

  • John G.

    Whoa there Agent Bedhead, didn't you forget something? Where's your 'designed to provoke controversy' pick? All of these movies ARE actually terrible. You're never gonna gin up comment hate this way.

  • mswas

    It's the header pic that's the controversy!

  • John G.

    True! If people go after Rocky Horror, I will stab a mothafucka

  • Jerce

    What, no Moonlight Mile?

  • KatSings

    When you posted Rocky Horror in the header, I was afraid you were going to have that on the list. And then I was going to explode in rage.
    Ahem.
    However, since that is not the case? Excellent list. These are some terrible movies. Random note for the day? My mom looks a lot like Sarandon.

  • Strand

    Hey, Speed Racer was amazing!

    Also, that Shall We Dance poster is... puzzling. Couldn't they include any of his co-stars, so it doesn't look like Richard Gere is a vagrant/loon dancing by himself in the rain?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    But he was a loon dancing in the rain. "Shall We Dance" might have been unnecessary, but it wasn't crappy. It's sweet.

  • Anne At Large

    I went to see it with my grandmother, who would never have watched the original. So I have fond memories of it, despite myself.

  • Guest

    I had the not-so-good fortune of reviewing two of these.

  • idiosynchronic

    Quoting a reporter friend after yet another city council meeting, "I would make more and hate the job less if I was working the counter at KFC."

  • lyssie89

    I...I... I love Elizabethtown.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    My condolences. Your good taste just commited suicide.

  • Jana Weaver Bowin

    Elizabethtown is actually my go-to feel good movie. The soundtrack, the story, Cameron Crowe is amazing, in my eyes.

  • Darlene

    Me too!

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