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11 Crappiest Movies of Guy Pearce's Career

By Agent Bedhead | Seriously Random Lists | June 6, 2012 | Comments ()


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In recent years, Guy Pearce has become known as the actor who inconspicuously appears in such Oscar bait as The Hurt Locker and The King's Speech without so much as a nomination. He also starred in the (IMO) overrated Memento, but don't get me wrong, I love the guy. He has, however, starred in a number of crappy movies, and here are the top eleven of them.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark: This was an inferior remake that starred Katie "Holmes, Sweet Holmes" Holmes and turned the creepy creatures into robotic Gremlins. What the hell?

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Bedtime Stories: Honestly, the best part of this typically horrific Adam Sandler movie is the moment when Russell Brand puts ketchup all over his face. If that tells you anything at all...

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Fragments: Great cast. Slightly promising psych-thriller premise. Not even worth it for a bit role from Walton Goggins.

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Ravenous: War is hell. Unfortunately, this "horror" movie is even worse than that.

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A Slipping-Down Life: Sure, this movie is funny as hell, but it wasn't intended that way. If it helps at all, Guy is barely recognizable in this flick.

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Rules of Engagement: Here stands yet another Samuel L. Jackson "Paycheck" Movie.

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Factory Girl: I'll admit that Pearce's portrayal of Andy Warhol was rather inspired, but the film as a whole was utter crap.

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The Hard Word: Was this really supposed to be an American noir/British crime hybrid? It was a visually spectacular ride but nothing else.

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Till Human Voices Wake Us: God knows I love a good Helena Bonham Carter romantic drama, but this was an utter mess.

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The Road: This was such a poor adaptation of the novel and as good a reason as any to say, "Fuck the Weinstein Co."

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The Time Machine: Sure, the Morlocks were kind of cool, but H.G. Wells still probably would have hated this poorly executed adaptation.

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Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Johnny Ratface

    he...was...licking...me...HE WAS LICKING ME!!!!!

    How dare you include Ravenous.

  • xx4sitexx

    The Road was hardly a bad adaption. It left one shocking scene out from the book and "Fuck the Weinstein Co"? They put out more decent movies than any other film company out there.

  • Tyler Dunaway

    Now just because the adaptation for the road wasnt great doesnt the mean the movie isnt effective

  • Wency777

    This list sucks. Waste of my time. You shouldn't be allowed to review films. True some of them are crappy but not all, which makes you not credible.

  • Evil Taco

    The Road was fun, I rather liked it. A bit off from the book, but it's a movie. I hate it when people bash a piece of film because it's different from the book. Of course it is, a book is written word, a movie is moving pictures. What's written on the page can often just not work, or flows badly.

    Also, you know by saying "Memento was overrated" You've just accidentally bashed Christopher Nolan? I'm waiting for the nerd rage.

  • Gfande07

    Ravenous is brilliant you jackass

  • Alex Hardy

    It appears that Ravenous has developed some kind of The Room-like cult following. Just because it's not unentertaining does not make it a good movie. It's pretty stupid and pointless.

  • Johnnyboy

    Plus, how can you go wrong with a movie scored by Damon Albarn?  

  • amylu

    I love the Ravenous score so hard!

  • Johnnyboy

    Yup.  By virtue of your inclusion of Ravenous, you have hereby rendered this screed worthy of high ass-wipery and nothing more.

  • therealbeesknees

    Chiming in with another defense of Ravenous.  That movie is AWESOME.  And let me tell ya, I love me some Guy, I would do filthy things to that boy... but after The Time Machine I did have to take some time off, for the health of the relationship.
    Somehow I'd blacked out on its existence though.  So, thanks a bunch for that.

  • Bugsy

    Do people actually say "Fuck the Weinstein Co"?  As far as I'm concerned Weinstein is one of the most trusted names in Hollywood. He pumps out more oscar noms/wins than any other production co (since 2010: the Fighter, the King's Speech, Blue Valentine, the Artist, the Iron Lady, Bully, Undefeated etc), generally stays away from crap, and doesn't give a shit about the MPAA. 

  • e jerry powell

     "Doesn't give a shit about the MPAA" you say?

    Actively fights the MPAA, maybe.  If he gives a shit about major distribution, though, he has to care about the MPAA, because Universal and Columbia (via Sony) are MPAA members.

  • don't be afraid of the dark wasn't great, but i'd hardly call it crappy. it had an original take that was smarter than most creepy movies. the end doesn't work, but still—not crappy.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Oh, come on, Bedhead, The Road did a good job of adapting the novel. If you don't believe me, I'll let Roger Ebert tell you: "The Road evokes the images and the characters of Cormac McCarthy's novel."

  • Anne At Large

    I love him for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert but I will always hold The Count of Monte Cristo against him. I can't believe that movie didn't make this list, it made me want to break things.

  • Jezzer

    Ravenous was indeed awesome.  Heck, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark wasn't THAT bad.

  • Emmet O'Cuana

    Um....Ravenous is quite a good film. Maybe it was marketed poorly, but Robert Carlyle suddenly turning psycho was fantastic.  Plus the soundtrack from Damon Albarn is pretty tops.

  • Harborwolf

    You can't even count The Road. He was in it for barely long enough for you to say, "Was that Guy Pearce?" I'm not even sure he was meant to be in it. Think he just happened to wander through the lot looking particularly scruffy and the editors left him in on accident.

  • luckypete

    Ravenous was awesome but I can agree it's not a "great" movie. The Road, however, was spectacular: heartbreaking, emotionally taxing, and sadly wonderful. While it's not for everyone, it definitely cannot be on any worst of lists. Ever. Pajiba has discussed the mistake of comparing a movie to the book it's based on, and this is the reason why it should never be done... you get blinders on and rather than see the magnificence of the movie, merely draw comparisons during the film.

  • Ginger

    Joining in to say, come on now, Ravenous is underappreciated.

  • Ignatz

    Ravenous is an awesome movie!!!

  • e jerry powell

    I knew Factory Girl was going to suck green-and-purple-polka-dotted donkey dicks when there was more press about the Jude Law/Sienna Miller drama going on in the tabloids than positive buzz about the film anywhere else from the time production started.

  • comma

     You could have just said, "I knew Factory Girl was going to suck ... when there was ... Sienna Miller."

  • e jerry powell

    True enough.

  • Gavin999

    Ravenous is awesome. 

  • $27019454

    So everybody bitches that Hollywood cant come up with ny original stories or anything different, wha wha wha and then Memento is "overrated?" 

     

  • I also object to the inclusion of Ravenous.

    --Previously posting as "HappyGobo" not that any of you would remember...

  • no love for The Count of Monte Cristo?

  • gp

    i don't think there's a list you've posted recently, where i wasn't "but but but"... however, i don't think that's necessarily  trolling.
    even i admit that 'ravenous' has a list of flaws, but i'd watch it twice a week regardless. crappy doesn't equal un-entertaining, folks.
    and any list is gonna be subjective.

    that said, omg the time machine? are you serious?!

  • princess thunderdome

    "Fragments: Like Crash, but better!"

    Well, sign me right up. I didn't think you could improve on such a masterpiece, but if Eric Campos thinks otherwise, then who am I to deny myself of the delight?

  • amylu

    Whatever...Ravenous is awesome.

  • emmelemm

    I didn't even know he was in like 4 or 5 of these, so he must have had a really small role.

    Even I think Ravenous is an awesome movie, and I HATE cannibal movies (they're my horror Achilles heel).

    ETA: I realize now I did see The Hard Word, and it was actually pretty decent.

  • Guest

    Ravenous? Now I know AB is trolling, but I'm posting my rebuttal in case some readers don't get that she is:

    Between its amazing soundtrack, Pearce's fantastic guilt-face, Carlyle's performance, the just-so humour, and the gorgeous poco subtext...I taught this film in class and most of my 70 students loved it and "got" post-colonial horror in one take because it's so thematically rich, consistent, and evocative. It's tight, gruesome, entertaining, and well-produced, and  already considered a horror classic by the geeks and the academics.

  • emmelemm

     What's a poco subtext?

  • Guest

     "Post-colonial."

  • emmelemm

     I see, said the blind man.  (Thanks!)

  • Rockcandy33

    How dare you!    Ravenous and The Road were both awesome.

  • If Samantha Mumba was ever in possession of a time machine would Samantha Mumba travel back in time to prevent herself from starring in a film called The Time Machine in order to stop people making jokes about how the only way that Samantha Mumba could ever be relevant again is with the help of a time machine?

  • Caro

    i like THE ROAD thank to the casting 

  • hapl0

    I would like to submit Seeking Justice but I'm not sure if it deserves to be called a movie.

    Don't Be Afraid of the Dark forever ruined the cute May Belle from Terabithia for me by turning her into a Mini-bitch. 

    Whoa, Samantha Mumba. Hi, it's been a while, hasn't it?

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Well, he is in everything right now. So I guess the slumming it paid off.

  • Jeremy

    Yep, Ravenous is great. Shouldn't be on the list!

  • AngelenoEwok

    Aw, I was making fun of Guy Pearce just the other day and feeling bad about it.  Now I don't feel as bad.  

  • WhyHelloThere

    RAVENOUS is awesome. 

  • Hey I liked The Road...though I don't even remember Guy Pierce even being in it.

  • Luke

    Ravenous is awesome...you fail my dear...

  • Thank you. A lot of people I know seem to love The Time Machine, and I hated it so totally it's unreal.

  • MurderBot

    Ravenous is awesome. Don't you dare!

  • lowercase_ryan

    Whenever my long string of questionable life choices gets me down, all I need to do is check out one of these "crappiest films of career" lists and I feel better. Cause I've seen maybe one. And you've seen them all.

    suck it.

  • Bentarthur

    Aw I liked Ravenous, such a goofy movie. Let's eat everyone!

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