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10 Exuberant Films Only the Douchiest, Most Cynical Jackass Could Dislike

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | October 17, 2013 | Comments ()


slumdog2.jpg

Slumdog Millionaire — Oh, you thought it was overrated because it won Best Picture and maybe didn’t deserve that title, and maybe only achieved the Oscar because of a very effective Oscar marketing campaign? WHO F*CKING CARES, YOU DOPE. “Overrated” is just a euphemism for YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE. You don’t have to compare Slumdog to past Oscar winners, or even the best movies of 2011. Just appreciate it for what it is: An exuberant, uplifting crowd-pleaser filled to the brim with pathos and heartache that will dazzle you with sweetness. You want to shit-talk Danny Boyle’s achievement because a group of old white men had the audacity to anoint it the best movie of the year against your wishes? Get the f**k over it, you cynical windbag. This movie is a goddamn treasure.

Rocket ScienceRocket Science is about the ignominious torture of high school; it’s about the unknown, and speech, and the triumph of Trenton, New Jersey; it’s about Clem Snide, and love, and revenge, and it’s about ordering a slice of pizza. But mostly, what it’s not about is cheap victories, or false epiphanies, or phony climaxes. Rocket Science has Wes Anderson’s style wrapped around the heart of early Cameron Crowe — a whip-smart, undeniably sweet movie about self-realization, finding your voice, and taking control of your destiny, even if you don’t know what the hell to do with it once you’ve taken it over. For some cynic to blast Rocket Science because it is too wrapped up in its influences, or because they can’t identify with at least something in this movie, well then, that person has a a heart that doesn’t bleed blood. It bleeds hate crushed dreams.

Angus — Unlike all the other teenage films of its ilk, Angus sports an honest-to-goodness fat kid as its hero. This is not a guy that gets a magical makeover, nor a modestly attractive person slumming it to play the part of geek or nerd. Angus is a real-life lost cause, and that’s what makes this movie different. Charlie Talbert, the actor who played Angus, wasn’t going to play an overweight unattractive kid in one film and turn around and play a superstar high-school quarterback in the next one. This was an obese kid playing an obese kid, and there was something in just that that made Angus so modestly funny, so heart-breaking, and so honest. Angus is unflinchingly earnest — it hits all the usual notes you’d expect from a teen comedy, but there is not an ounce of cool, or hipster, or indie underneath it. If you can’t root for an underdog like this, then you’re no better than James Van Der Beek’s character, and I. DON’T WANT. YOUR LIFE.

It’s a Wonderful Life — The world can take away your house, it can destroy your way of life, and deprive your Christmas tree of ornaments, but it can’t take away the human spirit, which thrives in the face of death, imprisonment, weary road trips, disability, narrow-minded fathers, abusive husbands, the loss of love, dystopia, and the destruction of home. Somehow, we always persevere because our spirit is indestructible while your soul-crushing cynicism for not liking this movie is small, and petty and will drift away in the sneeze of a corpse.

Billy Elliot — It’s a movie about a boy. A boy who just wants to ballet dance. But faced with a working-class background and a masculine obsessed union-worker family in the midst of a crippling national strike, what could be more daunting than for teenage boy to don a pair of tutus and flit about? It’s not always about surviving disaster. Or overcoming a disability. Or moving beyond crippling grief. Sometimes it’s about aspirations, about pushing yourself and proving yourself and finding the joy in living out a dream and giving that joy to others who swallowed pride and helped you to achieve it. Even if that dream is just to become a ballet dancer. HOW COULD YOU DISAGREE WITH THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

(500) Days of Summer(500) Days of Summer accurately captures the range of emotions that accompany falling in love and then having your heart shattered. And while the dialogue is witty, and real, and funny, and smart, it’s director Marc Webb’s attention to the details that make (500) Days of Summer such a deeply authentic movie. There are a lot of movie about love, and even more that think they are, but very few successfully capture that helpless uncertainty attendant to a new relationship — the overwhelming need to pin it down, to label it, to gain a sense of security, to know that what he or she is feeling is not fleeting. You can dismiss (500) Days as “too cute” or “gimmicky” but that’s only because you’ve never had your heart broken, because you’ve never been in love, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU, YOU HEARTLESS MISANTHROPE.

In AmericaIn America is an amazing film, about life and death and letting go, based on Jim Sheridan and his wife’s experiences after losing a child. There are a lot of great moments in the film, but the final scene will sneak up on you and just … it will just murder you. It’s this grand epiphanic moment, where Paddy Considine’s character somehow acknowledge’s his child’s death, lets it go, and decides to live. To live for himself. To live for his family. To live for life. If it doesn’t leave you in big puddle of your own human-manufactured saline solution, then just give it up, man. Go back to your emotionally detached existence, where not even your cat loves you anymore.

Harold and Maude — In a strange and perverse way, the movie celebrates life by embracing death. Maude (Ruth Gordon), a Holocaust survivor about to turn 80, believes in living. She brings Harold (Bud Cort), a depressed, suicide-obsessed, hearse-driving 19-year-old into her life. In a short amount of time, Maude instills into Bud a desire to live, to find love and adventure and grace in life and living and being and experiencing and loving and believing and existing, before shuffling off to her own mortal coil. It’s weird, a little twisted, romantic, sometimes dark, kind of icky, deeply morbid and yet, ultimately, Harold and Maude is a profoundly moving, life-affirming burst of cinematic soul and anything that decries it as too whimsical or twisted deserves to spend Christmas alone with a sack of coal SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT.

Shawshank Redemption — Shawshank Redemption is about life, about friendship, about family, about breaking free from the chains and burdens that life piles upon us, and about the indomitable human spirit. But most of all, Shawshank is a movie about hope. About realizing that hope is not a dangerous thing, a thing that can drive a man insane, but a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies EXCEPT YOUR SOUL IF YOU NAYSAY THIS MOVIE.

Short Term 12 — Brie Larson’s Short Term 12 is more than just an unexpected delight, it has the potential to be the best independent film of 2013. It’s an outstanding little movie about the power of emotional processing, about dealing with psychological trauma, and about the ways in which we cope. It is dizzyingly sweet, immensely heart-achey and anchored by one of the most nuanced and beautifully subtle performances in a very long while. I’d call out the haters, but they don’t exist, because no one could dislike this movie. It is what comes along so rarely: A perfect film, one above reproach by even the most black-hearted of cynics.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Jezzer

    OHAI, DELIBERATELY ANTAGONIZING CLICKBAIT ARTICLE.

  • wicked.whisper

    I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE AND HAD MY HEART BROKE AND I HATE 500 DAYS OF SUMMER.
    zooey dueshel or whatever is awful. stop trying to force feed me quirkiness...i'm literally choking on it. and her character did not deserve to be adored...and jgl was unrelatable to...too whinny

  • Mr. E

    Whenever I let people boost my expectations of a film then watch it with great anticipation and soon after realize that it's average at best, I call it getting "Hangovered".
    After being reminded by this list, I will also refer to it as getting "Slumdogged".

  • Mr. E

    For Example: "I heard that The Hangover was one of the funniest movies, like ever! So I watched it and I totally got slumdogged by that one."

  • name

    I was kind of hoping this list might explain why I should give some of the movies on the list a chance- instead you spent a large amount of time calling people who disagree with your taste in movies unlovable, soulless, asshole douche's. Was it meant to be funny?

  • Guest

    A lot of these are good pics, but I can't do Harold and Maude or 500 Days of summer. Too contrived to be fully heartwarming. You can throw It's a Wonderful Life into that, too, but I have a soft spot for Jimmy Stewart (I had a photo of him in my locker in high school, and that was in the 90s).

  • Siege

    Wow. I hate almost all of these.

    Except of course for Shawshank, which is the feel-goodiest film ever.

  • Welldressed

    I truly love the admonitions that come at the end of these blurbs, because they bring the bitchy and scathing back to Pajiba and once again am reminded why I keep coming back here. But that's just me and my cynicism will disappear in the sneeze of a corpse.

  • Emm82

    I will stop watching stranger Than Fiction when somebody prises it out of my cold dead fingers. Emma Thompson is just Awesome :)

  • Guest

    Nah, I love that movie. No one should ever take it away from you.

  • Donocaster

    If someone tries to add "Forest Gump" to the list I will cut them!

  • Debra Kessing

    only seen 3 of them, only remember 2 (H&M was a LONG time ago) and only loved one - Shawshank is one of the best movies ever in my opinion.

    Of the rest I would only bother with Short Term 12. I hated the trailer for Slumdog so that was enough for me :|

  • Kate at June

    But we were all meant to hate Tom in 500 Days of Summer? So few people see this and I don't understand.

    "The attitude of 'He wants you so bad' seems attractive to some women and
    men, especially younger ones. But I would encourage anyone who has a
    crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is.

    He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he
    projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning
    because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life."

    A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they
    find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them," he concluded.
    "That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person,
    not the actual person."
    -JGL's Playboy interview

  • AM

    Well I've finally got a diagnosis for my personality disorder. I'm a cynical douchey jackass. But, Lady Gaga said it's okay because I was born that way. I probably came out of my mom's vagina like "Meh. Being born isn't as great as everyone says."

    But even I like It's a Wonderful Life.

  • Caleb_Hobbledehoy

    This movie is the equivalent of a warm hug on a cold morning. It is the most exuberant film I have seen. It has ABBA on the soundtrack.
    Lukas Moodysson's 'Tillsammans' ('Together').
    Here is the trailer, allow it to fill your heart with love:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    P.S. (500) Days of Summer is the worst thing ever.

  • Modiano

    I would add "Sense and Sensibility" to this list. Jane Austen fare is not for everyone of course, but I find that movie delightful. Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet are fantastic in it. Maybe you have to grow up with sisters to fully appreciate it though.

  • Janice Dawley

    Well, call me douchey, but I really disliked a number of these movies:

    1) It's a Wonderful Life: only seen it once (strangely), but it all went in the toilet when I saw that the alternate, nightmarish reality included jazz clubs. Horrors! The hell of possible black people!

    2) (500) Days of Summer: told from the perspective of the man, with no attempt to explain what the manic pixie dream girl could be thinking. Not again.

    3) Shawshank Redemption: A gay romance that lacked the guts to make it explicit. Interesting to see the comments from Morgan Freeman that another commenter posted. If that had been clear in the film, I might have loved it!

    On the other hand, I adore Slumdog Millionaire.

  • Uriah_Creep

    My cat does so love me, you jerk.

  • okayflint

    he's somehow going to figure out a way to mention short term 12 in every single one of his posts. wish the movie was on demand or something. i don't understand why small films like that aren't always released in such a way

  • turnipcake

    I'm sure this piece is meant to be ironic.

    I very much disliked two movies I can think of (Shakespeare in Love and The Royal Tennebaums). I don't understand why so many people liked them. Maybe someone can explain what's wrong with me.

  • Ben

    Isn't it's a wonderfull life that movie that All americans love cause it's on every christmas? And it's only on every christmas because it was such a bad movie that the studio didn't even bother to renew the copyright on it, so channels could play it for free?

  • googergieger

    When even I won't bite, you know your troll bait is awful.

  • wonkeythemonkey

    …a pair of tutus?

  • Dennis Albert Ramirez

    i feel like a douchy cynical asshole for not liking Wes Anderson films after The Royal Tenenbaums. i liked 500 Days of Summer, but all the reasons people complain about that movie for (twee, pretentious) i lay at the feet of Wes Anderson. he is a fantastical filmmaker, i just hate his movies, if that makes sense.

  • My fiancee loves his movies and every time she queues one up, I'm given a good excuse to step outside and smoke cigars on the porch. Although with winter closing in here, shortly I'll be trapped and have no escape....

  • Melissa Doucette

    I am having a horrible, horrible day/month/semester, and now I find out that I'm an asshole because I don't like Slumdog Millionaire. That fits.

  • Take from someone who knows: Now that you know this, you can embrace the inner asshole(which now that I think about it sounds like a yoga position) and let it out. It's liberating.

  • Slash

    And RE "It's a Wonderful Life": it came out in 1946, so almost immediately post-war. Jimmy Stewart has to seem anguished (ie, "whiny") so you believe that he'd actually contemplate killing himself (something that would be quite selfish, since he has a wife and two kids depending on him).

    The end of the story is supposed to illustrate the triumph of kindness and compassion and generosity over greed, selfishness and assholishness.

    Yeah, what a load of crap. Frank Capra should have had George and Mr. Potter have a dance-off, or maybe race each other in totally tricked out cars.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    No, Capra should have had Clarence push George off the bridge and then the movie could show that without such a sourpuss asshole around, everyone could finally move on with their lives. Now THAT I would watch every holiday season.
    I like the idea of a Vin Diesel /The Rock remake. Let's call it It's a Furiously Wonderful Life.

  • Melissa Doucette

    Have you seen the SNL alternate ending of it (or was that The Simpsons?)? Anyway, it was some good shit.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Hey! He's not even a cripple!

    I've seen that SNL skit way more than I've seen the movie, which I didn't encounter until college.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I don't think they actually showed the alternate 'Killing Spree' ending, so there's a short film that needs to be made, hm? Maybe it can precede the next Pixar feature.

  • BlackRabbit

    Now I'm imagining them in a dance-knife fight like West Side Story.

  • Zihuatanejo. . .I need to break out my copy of Shawshank, it has been too long.

  • flickfan

    "The Lives of Others" belongs on this list too. The last line of the movie will make you gasp and bring tears of happiness to your eyes.

  • Slash

    It's always amusing when 1) people get all verklempt over a movie 2) get upset when other people don't.

    It's a movie. It's not real life. A movie is one of the most contrived endeavors on the face of the earth, expecting everybody to love it as much as you do and judging them when they don't is like expecting everybody to love your mom's meatloaf recipe as much as you do. It's not gonna happen. Get over it. And move on with your life.

    One of the first times I realized it's ok when other people don't like something I like is when somebody told me (when I was a kid) that they didn't like chocolate. Chocolate! My mind was briefly blown. Then I realized there are billions of people on earth and they're not all gonna like the same stuff I like, and if somebody doesn't like something as delicious as chocolate, that must mean that people are simply entitled to their own preferences and it doesn't mean I'm wrong. Just means a little bit more chocolate for me.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    This is coming from someone who really liked Billy Elliot: boy do I feel silly that I felt silly for being the only one in the theatre who wasn't crying at the end. That's happened more than once. But I can't say anything because I'm the WORST for anything remotely scary.

  • A lot of the stuff you write makes me roll my eyes, but this I'm on board with because I was thinking pretty much the same thing scrolling through the comments.

  • Samantha Klein

    Nope, sorry. (500) Days of Summer is smug, pretentious, and kind of dull, plus Zoey Deschanel is supremely unlikeable which begs the question why JoGo spends the movie mooning over her. Now, if we JUST want to talk about the dance number, I'm in.

  • Scorptilicus

    I've only seen three of those films (Slumdog, Shawshank, In America) and I liked all three, so... yay?

    BTW, what can you honestly argue should beat Slumdog? Milk, Benjamin Button, The Reader, and Frost/Nixon were its competition. Good movies, but we're not talking Pulp Fiction or Goodfellas crimes against humanity here.

  • Modiano

    Wait, wasn't The Dark Knight in the running too? I seem to recall defending Slumdog's win over the industry favorite TDK to quite a few of my colleagues. PS I'm not a fan of The Dark Knight...at all.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'm upvoting you for not being a fan of The Dark Knight.

  • Scorptilicus

    No, it was snubbed. It's the oft cited reason that the Best Picture category was expanded to ten potential slots.

  • Modiano

    Right! I think I was defending the Best Cinematography category for Slumdog in that case, which I'm currently pondering at great length. Not sure I agree with my past self on that one.

  • Cree83

    I saw the short of Short Term 12 before it was turned into a feature, and I left feeling much more depressed than exuberant. Not that I didn't like it, but I hope they've injected a little optimism into the longer version, since what I saw could have turned me TO cynicism instead of away from it.

  • Archie Leach

    I wanted George to jump off of that damned bridge!

  • BWeaves

    Local Hero.

  • jlc1967

    "I'll be a good Gordon, Gordon."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Little Voice!

  • Modiano

    Great suggestion! It's dead exciting.

  • mograph

    Morgan Freeman on The Shawshank Redemption: "When those two men see each other again, it's like you get the feeling that they were only living for that moment: when they would come together again. It's such a love story. It's so complete as a love story. They're just two guys who fit. It's a balance."

  • Jiffylush

    I hate that I missed Short Term 12s brief run in one of the theaters in town, hope it's not too long til i can see it.

  • Parker Jammstein

    My mom's a counselor/anti-bullying specialist and one weekend we watched Lucas and Angus back-to-back (she wanted me to see which one I thought would be appropriate for middle-school kids) and she cried for days and I couldn't stop laughing because DAWSON GETS OWNED in the second movie.

    That scene rules.

  • PDamian

    Good gravy, I purely love Billy Elliot. Not just for Jamie Bell, dancing his heart out, but for Gary Lewis as Dad. The scene that simply breaks my heart, every single time, is when Dad becomes a scab and crosses the picket line so he can earn the money to send Billy to London for dance school auditions. As a professional educator, I've known a great many parents who've mortgaged their homes, sold jewelry and heirlooms, and done everything they could to send their kids to good schools and colleges. Dad's heartfelt cry to Billy's older brother, "What if he's a genius?" can make me weep like few other things. And the anticipation on Lewis's face as he watches the grown Billy take the stage as the Swan in "Swan Lake" slays me.

  • Emm82

    The look on his dads face when he first sees him dance makes me ugly sob every time. I bloody love that film :)

  • pumpkin

    That moment when Dad gasps is one of the most amazing thing I've ever seen in a movie.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Stop it. I don't need to cry for no reason at work.

  • AngelenoEwok

    Oh damn, I'm tearing up just thinking about that bit now.

  • APOCooter

    1) The short story that Angus is based on is also amazing.

    2) Have they released Angus on DVD yet? Because I haven't seen that movie in years, and I want to again, so bad.

  • wonkeythemonkey

    I'm pretty sure I saw it on Netflix Instant, though that may not be possible any more.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Alright, it's time to come out. I hate It's a Wonderful Life. Not dislike, not think it's overrated, HATE. I hate the manipulative almost fetishized Capra story line, I hate that anyone cares about George and his shitty victim complex, and fuck Clarence and his wings.

    Seriously, that movie is just the worst.

  • pumpkin

    I hate it, too

  • melissa82

    You know, I liked it when I first saw it. Mildly liked it. But now? Now I avoid TVs around Christmas because I can't stand it. Loathe it. Get it the fuck away from me and keep it there. The 24 hour run of A Christmas Story I can get on board with though....

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    My parents both hated it, so I never saw it until I went to a friend's Christmas sleepover in Middle School. I had to write about it for a film class, and that is the last time I will ever, EVER watch that movie.

    And I love sappy movies. I'll totally watch White Christmas with my family every year, because Bing Crosby isn't a perpetual victim like George.
    But you're right, A Christmas Story is totally re-watchable. I think it's the second best holiday movie ever made (the first being Die Hard).

  • Parker Jammstein

    They showed it a week and a half before Christmas break in college my sophomore year. My roommate and I got WAYYYYY too drunk and laughed our asses off. Seriously I think during the 24-hour marathon I end up watching the whole damn movie at least 3 or 4 times

  • apsutter

    White Christmas is amazing. It has Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen and the "Sisters" dance number....freaking magical. George is the fucking worst and such a depressive

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Sisters is the best, and I may perform it with my mom after a few rounds of eggnog...

  • Parker Jammstein

    Christmas tradition at my high school was watching it every last day before break, so I don't necessarily share your sentiment but I see how you could be an opponent.

    (Except my senior year, when we watched Karate Kid instead and me and the physics teacher pretty much recited the entire movie)

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Oh, I would have gotten a note to skip that day. Well, except for Karate Kid day, because that's awesome.
    There was another film made in 1946 called The Best Years of Our Lives that starred Harold Russell (a real injured WWII vet) who had hooks for hands.

    He complained less than George Bailey.

    I mean men came home from the war missing pieces of themselves but George Baily didn't get to be a war hero because of a childhood injury. That's the real tragedy here. Shut the fuck up George.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    The Best Years Of Our Lives is a damn fine film. It doesn't feel as long as it is. Wouldn't say I HATED ...Life, but I didn't care for the grousing one bit and of the two, it's certainly not the one I would watch again by choice.

  • sanity fair

    TOTALLY with you on this. I finally saw it a couple of years ago, and I just don't get it. George is whiny and selfish. Clarence is annoying. The whole thing was boring and depressing and I hated the whole experience.

  • "Even if that dream is just to become a ballet dancer."

    Because that's such a small dream? Takes more work, sacrifice, and qualification than becoming a coal miner.

  • Archie Leach

    Getting black lung disease so your children can eat and have shelter sounds like quite a sacrifice to me.

  • It's a choice, not inherently superior. Becoming a coal miner is a life of hard labor, danger, and limited rewards usually made out of economic necessity. Becoming a professional ballet dancer is also physically painful, fairly dependent on luck, doesn't pay well, and involves intense physical labor.

    All that acknowledged, just about anybody can get a job as a coal miner. Not anyone can get a job as a dancer. Doesn't mean one is better than the other.

  • BlackRabbit

    The argument could be made that one is a more useful and needed occupation than the other. However, I know which one I'd rather do, and it's the one with a low risk of cannibalism and being trapped in the dark.

  • BlackRabbit

    Not to mention few ballet dancers have died in cave-ins or explosions.

  • PDamian

    On the other hand, miners generally aren't in danger of growing feathers and turning into giant black swans then stabbing themselves in their dressing rooms.

  • bastich

    Well yeah, but that's an acceptable risk for the chance to have a lesbionic experience with Mila Kunis.

  • Man, I have been hanging around with the wrong type of miners then

  • TrickyHD

    TIL: I am the Douchiest, Most Cynical Jackass.

    I am ok with that if the other option is to have to enjoy and rewatch all of these movies.

    I also do not like "What's Does the Fox Say?", but allow my wife to play it as often as she wants (damn Bluetooth in the car!).

  • AudioSuede
  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Blah, blah, blah, you're dumb for not liking what I like. *yawn*

  • AudioSuede

    Dear Dustin,

    If you're ever pissed at someone for insisting that Love, Actually is a good movie, remember this post.

    Sincerely,

    Most people

  • theotherone

    11. Life of Pi.

  • AudioSuede

    The reason I disliked Life of Pi isn't because of its exuberance, but more because the ending felt like a cop-out, and a heavily proselytizing cop-out at that.

  • Blake

    Swingers?

  • Blake

    Also Up in the Air.

  • thatsmrsnyder

    God dammit, I'm 2/10. Does this make me an only mildly douchey cynical jackass? A somewhat-repentant purveyor of cinematic droll? Is there some sort of halfway home for those?

  • it's a wonderful life is the only thing on that list that i actually love. so don't feel bad.

  • thatsmrsnyder

    Actually, it's made worse by the fact that I have only seen 3 of them... And It's a Wonderful Life is the one that I like.

  • same here.

    i'm sure harold & maude is a good movie, i just can't remember a damned thing about it.

    and while i don't actually HATE the rather twee (500) days of summer, i wouldn't want to sit through it again. unless i could somehow punch it in the face

  • Modiano

    Harold & Maude is worth a rewatch imho. The way Harold trolls his rich lady dates and his parents is pretty memorable especially the second time through.

  • i'm gonna check and see if it's available on netflix.

  • bcarter3

    The author seems to be a real push-over for cheap sentiment. There are some good films on the list, like (500) Days of Summer and Billy Elliot, but it's full of mawkish nonsense like Slumdog Millionaire and It’s a Wonderful Life.

    These movies are probably great if you're an 85-year-old lady who wants something to play in the background while you knit and drink tea.

  • bastich

    I resent your generalization of 85-year-old ladies! My great aunt loved her some hardcore pronography videos.

    (By the way, the same event that gained me that bit of knowledge also taught me to always knock before opening doors....for god's sake, learn from my experience....)

  • Salieri2

    And do not Google "Grandma" with SafeSearch off. This message brought to you by my scandalized corneas.

  • What? No. Hating 500 Days of Summer doesn't make me an asshole, it makes me SANE. Stupid fucking twee movie. Ugh.

    Why do you make me do these things, Dustin? Why? WHY?

    There are so many things that are annoying about that movie.

  • Lovely Bones

    I absolutely support you despite my hate of people who use 'twee' to insult things. That film's fucking insulting. That ending is certainly not being presented as being a continuation of an awful cycle, so either it's really bad at pointing out how shitty its protagonist is and rewards him at the end instead of changing him, or it's presenting him as somehow in the right, in which case FUCK THAT.

  • Artemis

    I actually think the movie unintentionally does kind of a great job of showing its protagonist to be an irritating, entitled jerk. The scene where he raves about how great The Graduate is *should* be a really self-aware critique of that character.

    Unfortunately, I think the movie actively chose to turn its back on those flashes of self awareness in favor of siding with the protagonist, based on the fact that it opens by calling the writer's ex a bitch and closes with the protagonist overcoming his heartbreak by stumbling into another hot girl whose name indicates she is just another part of his pattern.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    What a bitch for not conforming to his desperate ideas about her.

    But there's hope! There's a new brunette he can foist unrealistic expectations upon at the end of the movie. Hooray...

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